We'll keep our secrets, secrets because it's safer this way
"Paul, that you?" Carla called out of her bedroom to the man who had opened the door of her flat. Whoever it wasn't didn't answer, and so she stood up, wiping the mascara from her eyes and slumped her way over to the door frame. She wrapped her white dressing gown tightly around her tiny frame; it clung to her curves and hid away the empty shell that hid behind it. One hand fell down to her side, fiddling with a piece of cotton that had become loose from the material. The other lay across her tummy, subconsciously protecting whatever had lain beneath it.
"What are you doing here?"
"Paul told me what happened. I though you could use the company"
"Where is he?" Carla looks down, expecting the answer all ready. She couldn't deny the way it hurt her insides. She needed him here today more than ever and yet even this had not been a good enough reason for him to say. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now she found herself in Liam's company and he had the ability to fix her now matter how broken she felt.
"Drinking his problems away I'm afraid. Hey I'm not that bad though, am I?"
She looks up from under her hair and offers him a ghost of a smile. He can still see the tears glimmering in her eyes, and he feels his heart break at the sight. He slowly makes his way over to her and she instantly allows her head to rest against his chest.
His arms welcome her and wrap her into a tight embrace. She grabs a fistful of his shirt in anger as bitter tears soak his chest.
"It's not fair Liam. It's not bloody fair!" She screeches into his chest as sobs break through her body, everything hurts. Everything aches more than she imagined would be possible. She feels a hollow emptiness deep within her and she wonders how you can miss something you thought you had never wanted.
"I know darlin', I know"
"It's my fault in't it? I said I didn't want it and now it's dead"
"Hey don't you say that. Don't you even think it! These things just happen sometimes Car"
"That was my baby Liam. Mine and Paul's baby, and I didn't even want it"
Carla lets her mind slip to thoughts of what could have been. She imagines a little girl, no more than three years old running through the flat. She sees her climb up onto the sofa and snuggle into her daddy's lap, sucking her thumb and intently watching her mum as she picks up the toys from the floor.
"I didn't even want a baby"
"You'd have been a brilliant mum Carla"
She turns her head slightly so she can look up towards him, seeing the honesty in his eyes. "Who are you trying to kid? I'm a hopeless cow"
"Carla don't say that, don't even think it kid"
Liam takes her hand and leads her back into bedroom; he lies down on his side and indicates for Carla to join him. She does as he says and curls her body into his, allowing the warmth of his body to comfort her.
She still cries hopeless tears at the thought of what she had lost, Liam's chin rests on her head and the sound of his gentle heartbeat comforts her. She hears his words that he whispers softly into her ear as her eyelids flutter shut. He whispers that this is only the start, she's only twenty. He tells her that there is plenty of time for babies and weddings. He doesn't tell her that he hopes he will be the father and she doesn't tell him she feels the same.