A/N - Disclaimer - apart from storyline and a few characters, I don't own anything!:)

Enjoy...:)

I stand here, looking in the mirror, willing myself not to cry. I blink the tears away and hear Ma talking to some family outside. I occupy myself with fixing my hair and checking my phone, but I can't stop my mind drifting back to that day...

I watch as Mike and the other quarantine guys tape up the entire basement, Mike's words replaying in my head. My legs feel like jelly and I begin to wonder how I'm still standing. I hear Maura coughing in the other room and suddenly I remember I'm not alone in this, I need to be strong, for Maura. I walk into the office and Maura is sat stiffly in the corner of the couch where I left her. She looks as shocked as I feel. She doesn't notice my presence at first. Her eyes are glassy and her mind elsewhere. I step carefully in front of her and kneel to look at her.

"Maur?" My voice sounds weaker than earlier, Maura notices. She becomes more alert and begins to dart her eyes around the room before finally settling on mine. Even with all the panic and shock, when her eyes land on mine it still leaves a funny feeling in my stomach.

"Jane?"

I know she must have seen me watching her.

"Jane, is everything okay? What did Mike say? Have they given a hint as to what they think it is? Although I would usually be opposed to the idea of them treating without an actual confirmation, I may be willing to allow it this time...Jane?"

Maura continues to talk, occasionally stopping to cough, but all I can concentrate on is the funny feeling in my stomach. What started as 'butterflies' was rapidly turning sour. Maura looks at me intently and I struggle to raise my gaze to meet hers.

"Jane, your beginning to go pale, your sweating and..."
She picks up my hand and holds it at the wrist for a few moments before continuing. "And, your pulse is raised."

I try to concentrate on her holding my hand, I would normally have to control myself at her touching me, but at that moment the room is beginning to spin and I'm starting to shake. Maura drops my hand to cover her mouth and cough. I begin to stand; shakily I grab onto anything near me and walk out of the office. Maura follows me.
"Jane, please? You're scaring me? What's going on?"

I feel Maura touch my arm and that's it. I rush over to the sink and promptly vomit. I flick the tap and the sink starts to rinse out. I spin round to apologize, but everything keeps spinning once I've stopped and suddenly everything goes black.

I shiver at the memory of my head hitting the morgue floor. I hear the clock outside begin to chime 10:45am and Pop walks into my room. I can tell he's been crying, but he tries to hide it.

"Okay Janie. This is it. Your bride will be arriving within 10 minutes, let's get you to the front."
He walks to my side and grabs my arm. I walk shakily past the mirror and catch sight of myself.
If Maura could see me right now she'd be so proud...
As we walk to the front of the make shift aisle my mind begins to drift again...

"Jane?"
Maura's voice begins to coax me back to consciousness.
"Jane?"
My eyelids begin to flutter open and immediately my eyes meet Maura's, resulting in a funny feeling once again.
"Jane, you had a vasovagal episode, I need you to look at me okay?"
I struggle to keep my eyes open, but eventually it becomes easier and I try to sit up.
"Whoa! No Jane. Stay put. I'll be right back"
She rushes off into a corner of the morgue behind me; I can hear her coughing in the distance.
My head begins to spin again and I struggle to sit up. Maura doesn't notice from the other corner of the room as I stand shakily. I retch and Maura spins round.
"Jane...what did I say about staying put?"
She continues to speak, but as I vomit again I don't hear the rest. I flick the tap again once I'm done and then sit back against the cupboard. The cool metal feels surprisingly good against my back. Maura returns as I sit down with mouthwash and a glass of water.
"Jane, I need to you stand for me? Can you do that?"

I nod weakly at her; I am determined to remain at least a little strong for Maura. I stand and take in Maura's appearance. She looks like crap. She's pale and shaking, her coughing is getting worse and I get the feeling she is starting to lose her voice. She hands me the mouthwash and I wash out my mouth. She starts to pass me the glass but I wave it off.

"Jane..." He voice is weak and quiet. "Jane, you need to drink, to hydrate, its important. I'd think after all the nights out you'd know this by now..."
I'm glad to see even during this, her slight sense of humour is intact.
I finally accept the glass of water and walk slowly to the couch in her office. I lie down and fight the urge to sleep, but eventually it becomes too strong and darkness washes over me.

I'm stood here at the front of the make-shift aisle and thinking back to that day my heart begins to race. I look out and I see my family, current and future, spread across the beach in front of me. I gaze to the side of the beach where the car will arrive. I smirk to myself; it was her idea for a beach wedding. I think it's tacky, but it's what she wants, and I want her...right? I shake my head and try to drop that thought. But I can't. Over the 9 and a half months, ever since that day in the morgue, I can help but think, do I want this woman? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with her?

I hear a car in the distance and people turn around to look. My mind flashes with images of my bride in the back. And then it hits me. I don't want her. I tried to want her, I really tried, but I don't. While everyone's heads are turned I take my chance and I bolt. I rush off the beach. I hear voices and shock behind me. I run into my room, lock the door and then run for the bathroom. Tears that I have fought for months suddenly stream down my cheeks. I hear a knock at the door and Ma's voice. I wipe my eyes and look at the window. I open it, slip out and run.

Okay, this is a shorter chapter, but I felt it was a good place to end it...I'm hoping/presuming that people will have something to say about that ending.
 Feel free to review/add alert/ favourite ect...now!:)