A/N: 4 YEARS BEFORE UPDATING. I'm a horrible person, I know. I haven't watched the anime in a while either, but I hope you guys enjoy anyways!
Chapter Summary:
Literal jokes. Jealous fiancé. Stuck in Shin Makoku. Little Yuuram fluff~
Standard disclaimers apply.
Literally [adv.]
In a literal manner or sense.
Used to acknowledge that something is not literally true, but is used for emphasis or a strong feeling.
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"Ahdgasfdsa hjhkh jaksa klhh?" Zack blabbered incoherently while rubbing his sore ass. The trio landed in a small pond within the castle's vicinity.
"You, sir, are literally babbling like an idio- OW! Don't you know what literally means?!"
"Murata, it's the translation thing! When I first got here, Adelbert had to nearly wring my head so I could understand, right?"
"Yes but it's easier for you because you had Julia's spirit, remember?"
Zack glares at the two of them suspiciously like they might conspire against him anytime. His eyes dart back and forth towards the two friends and Murata's backpack. He swore he saw something move inside it. Looking around them, he saw that this obviously wasn't the park anymore. He doubts if this is even in Japan.
"Hey, maybe we should take this opportunity to get back at him!" Murata said, smiling enthusiastically. Yuuri, however, decided against it.
"Murata, let's be mature about this, okay?" Yuuri said, trying to look at Murata to say DUDE YOU'RE TALKING IN JAPANESE.
"But it will be fun! Hey Zack, has anyone told you that you looked like a girl, except without boobs? Or that you're a loner and no one likes you, not even bullies like yourself?"
"FDSHGSFH!"
"Hey, did you just curse?"
Zack found a stick, looked at it thoughtfully as if pondering whether he should write with it or beat the two half-men with it, but he decided on the former, seeing as he had no way of survival if he beat them to a pulp without a way to go back home.
FUCK YOU, YOU'RE TALKING IN JAPANESE I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU. SEND ME HOME BEFORE YOU BECOME A MAN WITHOUT BALLS. LITERALLY.
"Sorry, dude. I didn't know you could understand. Sorry. I didn't really realize I was still talking in Japanese. I wasn't trying to mess with you, sir, really." Murata stepped back slowly. He was definitely more powerful than this bully, but he didn't want to get exposed as some magical being when Zack gets back home. 'Act cool and meek and totally not magical', he muttered. His eyes met Yuuri's and they nodded their heads in agreement.
"Okay, you want to go home, right? No problem. Just step into the pond again and hold my arm," suggested Yuuri.
You better not be planning anything funny. Zack wrote, eyeing Murata's bag suspiciously. He steps into the pond anyway, and grabs Yuuri's forearm so he can break his bones if he does anything funny with him. He closes his eyes and…
"Erm, anytime now…" Yuuri says nervously, sweat forming at his neck. "…this usually works immediately…." he gathers all his energy and maryoku to focus on transporting this estranged bully back to where he belongs.
"YURI! I'm here!" shouted an all too familiar blonde male. Yuuri started to panic.
"Okay, okay. Let's try again. Let's make it fast before-"
"Before what, Yuri? Before I catch you cheating on me with this, this highschooler?! The nerve of you even bringing him here! How dare you! Why is he even here? Don't tell me you showed him our secret spot! And the Daikenja was in on this?! Why is he holding your arm, YOU TRAITORS?!" Wolfram was fuming (literally) and Yuri was about to pee in his pants (not literally, but almost) while Murata just smiled emphatically at Zack as if saying "Yes this is normal." Zack just stared quizzically at Wolfram, confused partly because of his outrage and partly because of his gaudy clothes. He did understand with the tone of Wolfram's voice that he was mad, and he was mad at him. He wielded the stick in front of him defensively, eyebrows knit together. Wolfram laughed sarcastically as he conjured up flames with his right hand. Zack's eyes widened.
What the f—
"HEY HEY STOP!" Yuuri stood between them.
"Don't you dare protect him, you worthless traitor!"
"No really I can explain! He just wants to go home because he accidentally went with us here to Shin Makoku. He's also a bully so if you won't be nice to him he'll take it out on Murata and myself and I really can't stand the trauma so please please please listen and calm down please?" Yuuri said, exhausted. He had to say it quick before anyone was incarcerated.
"Fine. Fine, just make him go home and I'll deal with you later," Wolfram huffed.
"That's the thing," interjected Murata, perhaps sensing the storm (or fire?) was over. Around him are calculations scribbled on the ground with another stick.
"What's the thing?" Yuuri asked.
"He won't be able to go home. None of us can use water to transport ourselves right now."
"JDHABSJHD?!"
"Yes, Zack you understood it right. You can say they're 'under maintenance' right now." Even Yuuri looked confused now. "Yes, Yuuri, it's true, I'll explain later."
The bad news, as expected, made Zack furious. He stared at the half-men plus boy slash girl in front of him as his face became red. He picked up his dripping wet cap from the ground, wiped the dirt on his pants and put it on. He then started to storme off in the direction where Wolfram came from.
"Hey, Zack, does this mean you'll be nice to us until we at least get you back home?" Murata shouted to him as the three of them followed. Zack raised his middle finger in the air as a reply.
"What does that mean?" Wolfram asked, perplexed by the foreign gesture.
"Uhhh it just means he's saluting us and he's agreeing!" Yuuri said, a little bit panicky. He really didn't want any more trouble, especially from his overly jealous fiancé.
After the 10 minute ride (which should have really just taken 5, but they needed a minute to convince Zack to ride with them on horseback to make the travel time faster and easier for everyone, another minute for Wolfram to get mad because Zack was about to ride behind Yuuri –to which Yuuri suggested it would be better for him to ride with Murata- and the other 3 minutes were spent calming the horse Murata was riding on, as the horse seemed to hate Zack as evidenced by the horse deliberately trying to avoid him. Finally though, the horse gave up and let the bully ride.
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They arrived at the castle by late afternoon, and when they entered the castle gates they were immediately welcomed by Conrad.
"Welcome home, Yuuri, Daikenja, Wolfram and… guest," he bowed as a sign of respect, but it was obvious he was confused at the sight of a guest. He could tell by baseball cap alone that he was from earth, but why was he there? Aren't ordinary humans from the other world not allowed to pass through here? He tried not to show it, but he was subconsciously staring a few seconds longer than was comfortable. The human just glared at him.
"Hey, Conrad! Good to see you. I'll explain later. Rest now. Room for guest please. Thanks." Yuuri didn't mean to be disrespectful, but he had a really long day and Wolfram got mad twice and for him once was enough, really. Once is plenty. Conrad just nodded, understanding at least part of the situation, with Wolfram's arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed down the middle, and the Daikenja just half-smiling half-sighing in relief. He would listen to the story later, but for now he should tell the maids his majesty's orders and-
"Uh. Hello?" Conrad's thoughts were interrupted when he turned around to see the guest staring at him, waiting impatiently and completely ignoring the hand which Conrad outstretched into a handshake when he realized the human probably not understanding a thing he's saying. Conrad quickly called for the maids and explained the situation to them, that this is a human guest who can't understand their language because he's from the other world, to which the maids understand. Frankly the maids don't mind as long as they have something new to talk about. They ushered the newcomer away excitedly.
"Is that why Sir Wolfram was so upset?"
" Why? Was he jealous? This one's really pretty though, probably even compared to Sir Wolfram"
"Hush, hush, he might hear us!"
"He doesn't understand, it's okay!" the maids giggled.
Zack just frowned, wondering how long it will take these people to realize that he can understand them somewhat okay. In the meantime, though, he'll have his fun… but maybe after processing the fact that:
1) PEOPLE CAN WIELD FIRE HERE AND BURN HIM ALIVE IF HE'S BEING DISAGREEABLE. COOL.
2) HE WON'T BE ABLE TO PLAY COMPUTER GAMES UNTIL HE GETS HOME.
3) HIS BUTT HURTS FROM THAT HORSE RIDE.
4) MURATA STILL NEEDS TO PAY FOR THAT FROG INCIDENT.
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Conrad was doing his usual rounds at night when he remembered Yuuri said he'd explain why they had a guest there. He was about to turn to his majesty's hallway when he heard voices.
"So you're not cheating on me?" It was Wolfram.
"No. Really, Wolf, don't you trust me?"
"Yuuri… it's not that, it's just that I get worried a lot about you when you're not around, you idiot."
A long silence followed, but Conrad didn't have to look to know what happened next.
"It seems," Conrad thought, "that it would have to wait until tomorrow then," he smiled.