A/N: Another short bit just to tie you guys over. It might be a long while before I get anything posted on my main thing guys- next week im going on vacation, and right now, I'm dealing with possible strep throat which is really eating away at me lately X/.
So hopefully, these adorable chibi shenanigans will be enough to tie you over for now ^^!
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(Lessons With Roman: Stealing)
Mid-Afternoon.
The perfect time of the day as any for every thief! There was still plenty of daylight to pull off a heist in perfect clarity, the change in schedules would make it harder to police to respond to any given crisis, the sun would continue to dwindle within the hour until the night came around, and most importantly, the streets were bare with only a few people here and there, ideal for stealing from anyone without having to worry about witnesses.
Today was going to be the first of many lessons for the Chibi trio, consisting of the natural top hat Uncle Roman, the big sis Neo, and the eight year old Ruby, both girls being clashed in their own top hats just to follow along with the "grand master of thieves" get up.
"Ah, the city of Vale," Roman said, admiring the view, "where the people are few but the loot is plenty. Alright little Ruby! Are you lesson for your first lesson in stealing from people...to err... to help them!"
"Yeah!" Ruby said with excitement. She couldn't believe it! She was finally going to learn how to steal from people from the self-proclaimed master himself! Her mother was always in awe at her every time she spoke about stealing from someone. She couldn't wait to picture just how excited her mommy was going to be when she finally pulled off her first successful heist!
"Alright! Then today's first lesson is," Roman paused, waiting for Neo to pull out the first of many cue cards, "stealing!" With that said, Neo displayed a simple doodle of a bank robber holding bags of money.
"Stealing to help people, right?" Ruby questioned just to make sure.
"Y-Yeah, of course! We'll help a lot of people this way!" He had to be careful with everything he said at this point. Ruby already bursted into tears when her mother revealed herself to be a simple thief, he didn't want to picture what her reaction would be if she found out partway that she was stealing for selfish evil reasons.
"Anyway," he continued, "there are three big steps you need to master in order to pull off a successful heist." With this, the two watched as Neo pulled out the second card, showing a doodle of a robber sneakily taking a wallet out of someone's back pocket. "Step 1: Always steal from someone unexpecting it. The more gullible or clueless the vic- er the person is, the easier it is to steal from them."
"Is that why you always steal ten lien from Neo's purse after every heist?" Ruby wondered.
*WHACK!*
"Ow!" Roman yelped, rubbing his bruised head. It was evident the ice cream girl was completely unaware of this revelation, making the sudden whack with her large cue cards unstandable, and very painful. "I don't know what she's talking about, honest!" He lied innocently. Ironically, the sudden reply also paved way towards the last step after the next. "Anyway, that brings us to Step 2: Use any form of tactics necessary to steal from someone. If you get caught trying to steal from them while no one's around, you can use any means necessary to steal from them!"
As if to demonstrate this point, the next cue card displayed the same two people from before, this time with the robber holding a knife with a scary look on their face while the victim looked worried, handing over the wallet willingly.
"Do I have to stab them or something?"
"Eh, only if it's necessary." He stated. "Honestly, the less bloody it gets, the better. Too much violence makes it easier to track you down later. So you should use whatever methods you can come up with for stealing before it gets too violent and the police show up. And if such a event happens, you must always remember the last step." The final cue card displayed a policeman looking at the victim with a question mark above his head, while the robber behind him looked just as confused while hiding a wallet behind his back, hiding it from the cop.
"Step 3: Lie your way out of things. If things look bad and you're cornered, do your best to lie your way out of any situation. Over time, you'll be able to smooth talk your way out of any situation, even if a dumb looking cop gives you trouble!"
"Are cops really that dumb?"
"Oh you have no idea..." Roman mumbled. "Now, let's try your first hand at it! Ummm let's see... for a beginner...Ah! There!" Roman gestured with his cane, pointing to a woman across the street. "Use whatever methods I taught you to get money from that woman! You ready?"
"Yeah!" Ruby cheered, hustling across the streets.
After a year of combat practice with her big sister, she finally managed to make her way to the junior tryouts, going through her first hopefully-successful heist! It was a minor thing, stealing from just one woman out of nowhere, but given this was her very first robbery of any kind, she needed all the practice they could get. As such, both chibi Roman and Neo just watched with anticipation as she pulled off the first of many thefts.
"Ah, they grow up so fast." Roman commented out loud as he watched, Neo holding out signs from behind him.
-LET'S CELEBRATE WITH ICE CREAM ^_^!-
"Ok..." He watched carefully to make sure she was following all the steps. "She's looking to make sure it's clear... she's approaching carefully... so far so good... she's sneaking up behind her... she's getting her attention-! Wait what?" The sight took a sudden 180 as Ruby started getting the woman's attention from behind her. After several seconds of chatting, the woman gave her something before patting Ruby's head, the young girl quickly running across the street back to him.
"Look Uncle Roman! I got a whole lien!" Ruby cheered. It was nowhere near what they were hoping, much less expecting, but Neo continued to awe at it with her next sign.
-YAAAA!-
"Wha-? Ruby! What did you just do?" She didn't do anything among the last three steps as he expected, and on top of that all she got out of it was a single lien.
"What do you mean? I just did what you said!" Ruby smiled. "I asked the woman if I could have some money, and she gave me a whole lien! Did I win?"
"Ugghhhh..." Roman facepalmed as Neo chuckled behind him. "Ok, ok, I can see what's happening here. Clearly, I should've been more specific. Try stealing her money again, and this time, demand she gives you more of it!"
"Yes sir!" Ruby saluted, quickly pacing through the street once more.
"Ok... so she's doing the same as before...checking if it's clear..." Roman continued to mumble to himself. "Ok she's got her attention... they're talking... the woman seems shocked, so I can tell she's threatening her now...Ah, there we go, she's giving Ruby her purse... and now the woman's taking out her scroll to- Huh?" Whatever he was witnessing was cut short as Ruby came running back to him with her purse in hand.
"I'm back Uncle Roman! Look, I got her purse!" The child cheered again.
-GREAT JOB!-
"Ruby? What did you do this time?" He could already tell he was going to regret the outcome.
"Simple! I did what you said before, and used any methods I could to get the purse!"
"Uh huh... then why is she calling on her scroll?" Roman asked, looking down the sidewalk.
"I dunno. Maybe she was just sad after the story I told her." Ruby said with a shrug.
"What story?"
"Oh, nothing much. I just told her I have this evil stranger that beats me everyday I don't get money for him!" Roman's pupils shrank until they were pitch white sockets.
"You did what?!"
"Yeah! And she was so sad for me she gave me a hug and her entire purse! I wonder who she's calling though..."
"Gahhhhhhh!" Roman facepalmed harder and repeatedly several times. "Ruby! That's not how it works! You don't tell her something that'll make her call the police!"
"Why would she want to call the police for that?" The child sadly had no idea of the works of Child Services or policeman.
"Ugh, gimme that!" Roman yelped, quickly swiping the purse. "Look, when you want to steal something, you don't just make up a story on the line to get a few simple bucks!"
"Umm... Uncle?"
"Not now, just pay attention!" He grumbled. "Step 1, you steal the purse! Step 2, you force them to give it to you by any means necessary! And Step 3-!"
"A hem!" A voice suddenly grumbled from behind him, forcing his explanation to come to a complete halt. Turning around again, not only did he see the chibi woman he's been trying to get Ruby to steal from, he saw an incredibly buffed chibi police officer standing before him with an angry look on his face and his arms crossed.
"That's him, officer! That's the man who told that innocent angel to steal from me!" The woman stammered pointing to him.
"W-Wait- What?! No no no, it's not what you think, honest!" Roman lied, trying to give his best innocent smile. "W-W-We were just playing a game! We weren't really doing it!"
"So you think threatening two innocent children to steal for you is the way to go buddy?" The policeman spat. "Scum like you make me sick!"
"No, honest, I'm not lying!" He promised, quickly turning to the two girls soon after. "Tell him girls! Tell him it was all just a game!" Thankfully, the two chibi'ed step-siblings looked at each other, most likely thinking the exact same thing that could save his life right now!
"Officer, I've never met this person before." Ruby stated as Neo Nodded in agreement.
-WHO IS THIS GUY?-
"WHAT?!" Oh god, this wasn't happening! He knew why it was happening, he just wished against it. They were following along with the third and final step, which consisted of lying to authorities whenever they were confronted by one. "No no no! This isn't the time to lie guys! Just tell the truth, I'm begging ya!"
"Officer, this man is starting to scare me."
-I WANT MY MOMMY :*( !-
"Oh come on!" Roman grumbled. "We have the same looking hats for crying out loud, you can tell they're with me!"
"He threatened us to put it on." Ruby cried.
-HE'S A MONSTER!-
"No I didn't you little-!"
"Look out! He's got a hat!"
*bzzzzzzzzzt*
"EEK-URK-GAH-UGH-BLURGH-AHGH-!" The girls just watched as Roman started twitching from place to place as the officer shot him with a high-powered taser gun, the settings of it set to max. Every single nerve in his body was being scorched by over 8000 watts of pure electricity, smoke rising from his charring body until he collapsed on the ground before the four of them.
"You'll be lucky to avoid the death penalty you animal!" The officer said, dragging him away by his foot.
"You girls be good now and run along home." The woman smiled to them as the two waved goodbye. Waiting for several seconds until the coast was clear of the policeman and woman, the teen smiled over to Ruby as she held out another sign.
-DID YOU GET IT?-
"Yup!" Ruby smiled holding up a familiar-looking item. "Roman's Wallet, just like instructed!" Ruby cheered as Neo clapped in applause.
-TO THE MALL!-
And with that, the two girls smiled to each other as they walked hand in hand, skipping along the sidewalk as they journeyed to the mall, planning spend the remainder of the afternoon celebrating Ruby's first successful Heist, as instructed and orchestrated by her big sister Neo for whatever reason she had, unaware of the last line of thoughts running through her head.
That'll teach him to steal from me!
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A/N: Another shortie, but like I said, it's rwby chibi. They're all short (imagine how awesome it would be if they were episode length XP)...
Anyway, leave a like, fav, and follow if you enjoyed, and be sure to send your ideas through the reviews if there's a skit of something you'd like to see!