A/N: I screamed when I saw fat Sting in today's chapter. My poor baby's abs...anyway, Rogue looked hot as hell, Minerva was an angel, and I really dislike Gray. Meh. Enjoy this, I don't even know what went on.
Also, thanks for all the reviews, favourites, and follows! I had no idea you guys would like it this much!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail in any shape, way, or form. That honour belongs to Hiro Mashima. The plot of this fanfiction does, however, belong to me.
Sting was a fairly light sleeper. Where Rogue could sleep through a car smashing through the living room (which he had once), all it took was a glass toppling over in the kitchen to get Sting wide awake.
It was around three in the morning when Sting's eyes flew open, the feeling of being watched too much for him to bear. When he glanced up, he let out a scream of pure terror and a hand slapped over his mouth to muffle the noise in response. Tears leaked out of his eyes, and Sting was sure his heartbeat could be heard five floors down.
"Be quiet! Lucy is sleeping, you will awaken her!" Erza Scarlet hissed. The "scarlet demon", as she had been dubbed freshman year of high school after a rather unfortunate incident between herself and five individuals from Phantom Lord High, one of which was Gajeel, was straddling the blond male, wearing a fuzzy pair of pyjama's. The RA was in the same year as himself, and had been given the title almost immediately upon her arrival to Crocus University in the first year. It was a unanimous decision amongst the school council that she was best fit for the job, and she took her role extremely seriously. Terrifyingly seriously.
"What the fuck are you doing in here?! How long have you been in here? Why are you straddling me?" Sting whisper-yelled the moment she removed her palm, and yanked his thick comforter up higher on his chest. While he normally would not have objected to an attractive lady seeing him bare as the day he was born, this was Erza freakin' Scarlet. If she managed to incite a full blown shudder from Gajeel to this very day, she was clearly not to be messed with.
"I have been here for the past fifteen minutes, no I will not remove myself from your person, and I am here to inform you that you will not be let off lightly for your actions against Lucy!" Erza snapped. The aforementioned woman mumbled in her sleep and dangled precariously off her bed.
"Okay, one, that is creepy as fuck you psychotic demon, it's three in the fucking morning! Two, I'm naked under this, where the fuck am I gonna go? Three, what actions?!" Sting flailed his arms wildly, before snatching the blanket back up. Erza flushed a red bright enough to rival her hair, and immediately leapt off the male, bowing deeply.
"I apologize for my inappropriate actions, I was not aware you had such sleeping arrangements. You may hit me for sexually assaulting you!"
"Uh, n-no, that's fine, I'm not crazy. Hitting you is a death wish...and I'm not quite sure that qualifies as sexual assault..."
"Nonetheless, to more important matters," Erza straightened up and her glare intensified, "You are responsible for Lucy's grievous injuries!"
"Dude, I grazed her with my car. She has a bruise and scraped up palms. Boo fuckin' hoo, give it a week and she'll be all fine," Sting scowled, flopping backward. His first class started at the unholy hour of seven, and he had gone to bed around one after a very long stint at the gym in an effort to avoid the awkwardness of the first night with his new roommate. He was clearly not going back to bed after this.
"A bone bruise!" Erza hissed again, and Sting raised an eyebrow.
"This differs from a regular bruise how?"
"To indirectly quote Wendy-"
"Wait, Gajeel's sister? Wendy Marvell? The first year health sciences student?"
"Yes, do not interrupt again! She is suffering from a subperios-"
"In English. I do physics, not biology or whatever the fuck that is."
"Do not interrupt!" Erza procured a sharp switchblade from her cleavage and waved it in front of Sting's face threateningly. The blond looked horrified, wondering how exactly she had managed to store the sharp object between the soft globes without causing an accident of Edward Scissorhands' proportions.
"Isn't carrying weapons against regulations on-"
"They made an exception."
"Ah. Can you...?"
"Right," Erza calmly shoved the switchblade back, and Sting blanched.
"Now, her femur's bone tissue was severely damaged, leading to bleeding beneath the layer. It could take months for it to properly heal. Look at the damage!" Erza dashed over to Lucy's bed and yanked down her pyjama bottoms, pointing to the rather large and dark bruise on her pale thigh. Sting flushed a bright red and averted his eyes. It appeared his roommate had a rather racy preference in her panties.
"Erza, get her fucking pants back on!" The redhead was momentarily confused before a look of realization dawned her. She hastily threw Lucy's thick duvet over her body, and turned to face Sting once more.
"I see you are not nearly as large of a miscreant as I had previously believed."
"Right. Look, what do you want me to do?" At this point, Sting was willing to go to class in a neon pink onesie if it meant the woman left.
"You are to apologize to Lucy, and ensure that you take care of her as she is injured. Subperio-"
"Erza. It's three in the goddamn morning. Get to the point, " Sting groaned, before pausing and adding, "Please."
"She will be in severe pain for several weeks to come. You will be her nurse until she is well. Consider it your apology," Erza crossed her arms and gave the blond a hard stare. Sting paused. He could definitely do that. It would be no more different than looking after Rogue when he got into his first fist fight.
"Done," Sting agreed. Erza smiled satisfactorily, and stuck out her hand. Sting hesitantly grasped her hand and shook it, wincing as she crushed his bones together.
"Excellent! I bid you good night. You have a seven AM class with Professor Clive as the instructor, I would rest if I were you," Erza advised.
"...why do you know my schedule, Erza."
"I know all of my dorm children's schedules," Erza replied, and Sting gave her an incredulous stare. "Dorm children?"
"Yes. My duties as an RA-"
"Out. Now. Please."
"Very well, have a good night."
And with that, Erza stealthily made her way to the door, pausing to tuck Lucy in much like a child, and snuck out. Sting flopped back in bed and rubbed his eyes. He reached for his phone and tapped the message icon.
To: Dr Wendy
What the fuck is a subperio and how do I fix blondie's leg like do I need antibiotics?
From: Dr Wendy
...Sting, it is nearly 4 AM, perhaps this conversation should be held at a later time? You know, when people's brains are actually functioning?
Sting rolled on his stomach and slammed his face in a pillow. He really wasn't going to get any sleep at this rate.
"How have you not gotten a titanium reinforced door yet?" Gajeel's tone was that of horrified amazement as the scarred male walked with Sting to class. While Sting's Modern Physics class started at 7 and Gajeel's Introduction to Anthropological Archaeology class started at 7:30, they both took place in the same building so Gajeel had decided it would be easier to get there on time and still be able to discuss that nights horrors on the way if he just left earlier.
"This is Erza, she played Titania in high school, you think a metal door will hold her back?"
"Titania and titanium aren't the same thing, moron," Gajeel thwacked the back of Sting's head just as they approached the lecture hall.
"Good luck, don't die," Gajeel said. The man then turned around and sauntered down the hall, humming something under his breath all the while. Sting rolled his eyes and walked into class, seating himself a comfortable distance away from the main desk.
"Oh god, not you again," Professor Gildartz Clive teased. Sting grinned light heartedly. The man had been one of his favourite professors last year and was fond of example over theory, meaning a majority of the year was spent conducting dangerous experiments under the guise of physics.
"Up yours, old man, you know I make this class worth teaching," Sting pulled out his replacement laptop, his shiny new one having been sent to the store for fixing after the coffee had shot it to hell.
"Eucliffe, how long have you known me? Laptops are a no-go, remember last year?" Gildartz raised an eyebrow, and Sting winced, flashbacks of the 'Great Fire of '14' running through his head. He hadn't even been aware that laptops could melt like that until that dreadful day.
"Professor Clive," a deadpan voice greeted from the entrance. Sting's eyes widened in recognition. Macbeth Oración Seis, or, as he was more commonly known, Midnight, was one of the most intelligent Physics students to have ever graced the halls of Crocus University, and he had immediately been placed in the third year class upon his arrival in the first year. Sting had a strong admiration for the man, and respected a lot of his published papers.
What in the world is he doing here? Sting thought. Midnight walked up to the main desk and handed the orange haired man a thin file.
"Professor Stinger informed me that I will be acting as a teaching assistant to this class just this morning," Midnight explained, and Gildartz tossed the file in an open drawer of his desk.
"Goddamn Bluenote, sicing his students on me with no warning! Whatever. Midnight, just pick a seat and try not to pass out," Gildartz waved his hand dismissively, and Midnight immediately zero'd in on Sting, making his way to sit next to him. Sting gave a weak smile in response to Midnight's blank stare, before whipping out his phone.
To: Pincushion
Dude Midnight's in this class and he's acting like I killed his cat or something
From: Pincushion
You fucking moron, Midnight's Cobra's best friend, he grew up with blondie. You're dead
Sting gave Midnight a wary stare, to which the black and white haired man replied with a small smirk.
"Cobra wishes to speak with you after class, I'm here to make sure you don't skimp out."
"Wait, you became TA just to tell me that?" Sting exclaimed.
"No, that was just a convenience," Midnight shrugged, crossing his arms and shutting his eyes, "Now shut the fuck up and let me sleep."
As Gildartz flicked off the lights and turned on the projector, Sting idly wondered if he could melt into the shadows and zip out of class without being noticed.
Erik 'Cobra' Heartfilia was a rather intimidating looking man. He met Sting's height at an even six foot, and would have looked every bit as intimidating as the rumours stated had it not been for the fact that he donned a white lab coat and gigantic safety goggles.
"So," Cobra began, carefully squeezing a dropper of liquid into an Erlenmeyer flask, "What's this I'm hearing about you running my sister over on the first day of class?"
"Uh, grazed. WIth my car. It was an accident, really!" Sting replied hastily. He had heard horrific tales from Gajeel, the man being the resident gossip, regarding the kinds of things Cobra had pulled on all those who dared to bother his precious little sister. Legend had it that to this very day, Hibiki Lates couldn't be in the presence of tea without a minor panic attack.
"And yet you didn't bother to help her when she fell," Cobra eased the flask on top of a bunsen burner and turned up the flames. Immediately, the contents started sizzling, and Sting took a cautious step back.
"Class was gonna start in ten minutes, no time," Sting offered, and nearly shat himself when Cobra wheeled around to give him a demonic stare. Well, as much of a demonic stare as he could with one eye.
"You hurt her," he said simply, "You will apologize to her, and keep her happy for the rest of the year. If I hear even one complaint or anything remotely similar to one, I will dip you feet first in a hydrochloric acid bath, understood?"
"Y-yes!"
"Yes what?"
"Sir, yes sir!" Sting saluted. Cobra nodded, a satisfied smirk pulling at his lips, and when he turned around to drop some kind of solid inside the flask, Sting stared at his saluting hand in betrayal. Here he was, the great Sting Eucliffe, turning into a whipped bitch by a guy only a year older than him over some blonde chick he had barely nudged with his car. What had become of him? He used to be so respected, so feared, and he was reduced to a weak pile of-
Suddenly, a loud boom resounded, and Sting let out a squeak of terror, tripping over his feet. To the left, several freshman were screaming as a roaring fire consumed the table. Cobra immediately made a mad dash for the table, snagging a fire extinguisher and shouting commands to fellow senior level students, who calmly began to follow in suit. While the others helped put out the flames, Cobra whipped around and advanced on the quaking group of students.
"Who the fuck told you that you could mix this shit without supervision? Why the fuck are you in this lab, anyway? God, you dumbasses are dead meat once this is done, I'm gonna rip-"
Sting took the distraction as incentive to book it, sending sympathetic glances towards the nearly in tears freshman as he bolted through the heavy doors of the lab.
Sting entered his dorm, fully intent on flopping on his bed and passing out. Gildartz never assigned homework for the first couple days, anyway, and he could frankly care less about his other classes. At this point, he had to plot just exactly how he was going to survive the year. As he dropped his bag at the front door and strolled towards his bed, he noticed a snoozing body on Lucy's bed and froze.
Laxus Dreyer was an absolute beast in every sense of the word. Standing at six foot four, he was a wall of pure muscle and strength. The blond man on the bed cracked open an eye and pointed to Sting's bed.
"Sit."
Sting eagerly complied, his legs having turned to jelly when he saw the other male. Laxus rose with a sigh, turning to sit on the edge of Lucy's bed, facing Sting.
"You hit my sister with a car," he deadpanned, and Sting nearly groaned aloud.
"For the fifth fucking time, I grazed her," Sting said, "And you don't need to give me the lecture, I've heard it already. Apologize to her, be nice to her, blah blah blah."
"Good," Laxus quirked his scarred eyebrow, "But I wasn't here to lecture you originally. Lucy forgot her hard drive in my dorm, I came to return it."
"Oh," Sting said, "So you're not here to threaten to pull some freaky kung-fu shit on me?"
"No, I think between Erza and Erik we have that covered," Laxus looked faintly amused, "But let me tell you, Lucy is one of the most precious people in our lives. Hurt her and you deal with me. And that isn't something you want."
"Right," Sting nodded furiously, "So you have any idea how to deal with subperio whatever's?"
"Subperiosteal hematoma's?" Laxus said, surprised.
"That's what they're called then! Yeah, Erza told me she had one of those, how do I fix it?" Sting looked cluelessly at the older man, who gazed at the ceiling thoughtfully.
"Rest, ice packs, no stress, anti-inflammatories, maybe a knee brace," Laxus shrugged, "I'm kinda used to them, doesn't hurt me as much, so I just go with the pain meds."
"Right," Sting repeated. The door swung open and Lucy strolled in, dressed in comfortable yoga pants and a tight yellow shirt. The moment she spotted Laxus, her dull face lit up brightly and she dashed forward, tackling him backwards.
"Laxus!" she laughed, and the Business Major smiled in turn, wrapping his beefy arms around her petite waist.
"There's my favourite little blonde! You forgot your hand drive at my place, came to return it," Lucy pecked Laxus' cheek and hopped off to the side, shimmying out of her yoga pants. Sting immediately averted his gaze, flushing lightly. He could remember Erza doing the exact same thing not twelve hours ago, although this time Sting could actually see the smoothness of her toned thighs and-
Sting shook his head as if to dispel the line of thought he was following. Instead, he said, "Blondie, maybe you should do that in a bathroom, y'know?"
Lucy squeaked when she heard his voice, dropping down in a crouch. "What the hell?! When did you get here?"
"I've been here this entire time."
"Pervert!" Lucy pointed at him threateningly, and Sting's jaw dropped.
"Excuse me?! You're the one giving me a free show, exhibitionist!"
"I thought it was just Laxus here, not you!"
"Oh, so you'd strip in front of your brother? Fuckin' nasty-"
"We grew up together! It's frankly nothing he hasn't seen before when we took baths, and even so, Laxus wouldn't look! You on the other hand-"
"I did! Not look, that is, dumb blonde!"
"You're blond, too! If anything, you're the dumb blond! How do you not notice me crossing the parking lot?!"
"Oh for fucks sakes, it was an-"
"Children," Laxus interrupted, fighting back a smile, "As fun as this is, I don't think your next door neighbours would appreciate this scream fest. Simmer down."
"Oh please, Laxus, our next door neighbours are Bacchus and Warcry, I doubt they give a shit," Lucy scoffed, slipping on comfy purple shorts. Sting stared at the dark purple and black bruise marring her thigh and frowned, a pang of guilt sweeping through his chest. He didn't actually think the bump had hurt that much, but he hadn't seen a bruise that bad since Gajeel and Rogue seriously traded blows.
"See? Pervert, you're totally staring at my thighs!" Lucy pouted, pulling her blanket over the exposed skin, and Sting's eyes snapped to hers.
"I was looking at the bruise, blondie, calm down. How bad does it hurt?"
"Eh? Not too bad, I guess..." Lucy trailed off. Laxus stalked over and sat down facing her. He lifted his hand and poked the bruise, and Lucy let out a screech, scrambling backwards. Sting winced in response to the cry.
"Liar," Laxus said bluntly.
"Okay, it hurts like hell," Lucy admitted, "But it's totally manageable! A couple days and it should fade."
"Not one this bad, kiddo. It's gonna be there a while, and it'll get worse before it gets better," Laxus stated, and Lucy groaned, stuffing a pillow in her face.
"Now how I am I supposed to start my workout?" she groaned.
"I could help with that," the words were out of Sting's mouth before he could properly process them. The two other occupants of the room looked just as surprised as he felt, and Sting wished he could take back the sentence.
"Like I want a super perv like you-"
"Look, blondie, I know we didn't get off on the right foot, but if you'd shut your mouth for a second and listen, maybe you'd understand what I'm trying to do here," Sting snarled, "I am trying to apologize. I have put up with that psycho RA threatening me with a switchblade at three in the morning, your fucking crazy brother telling me in detail what he would do to me with hydrochloric acid if I hurt you, Laxus...well, he didn't do much, but still. Clearly you mean a lot to people, and-"
Sting was cut off when Lucy shot up, a cold fury in her eyes.
"Erza and Erik did what?" she hissed, getting off her bed and yanking on her slippers. She made her way to the door, a stream of expletives trailing behind her. When she entered the hallway, she whirled around to face Sting and Laxus, who had followed her to the door.
"I can't believe them! That is totally unacceptable! I can deal with my own problems, those two don't need to interfere! Ugh, I am so sorry Sting! Please forgive me!" Lucy bowed slightly, and Sting's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
"I'm the one who nearly ran you over, and you're asking for forgiveness?"
"Well...looking at it now, it seems kind of stupid to hold a grudge over something that was both our faults. You weren't paying attention, but I should have been more careful crossing the road. So...truce?" Lucy proffered her hand, and Sting smiled before accepting it.
"Truce, blondie. Now, as cute as you look right now, you might wanna cover up. You're standing in the hallways wearing spandex shorts," Lucy let out a squeal and dashed back inside the dorm. Down the hall, Bacchus let out a roar of laughter.
"Damn, titty queen should've just stayed as is! It should be sin to cover up an ass that fine!" Laxus let out a low growl, stalking over to the other male with curled fists.
"The fuck did you just say about my sister you little bitch?"
"I said, 'it should be sin to cover up an ass that fine'," Bacchus grinned, and Laxus shot forward. Sting was surprised when he heard Lucy snort in response to the brawl in the hall.
"You're not concerned?"
"Please, they do this all the time. Bacchus and Laxus met when they were eight at some mixed martial arts competition, and they've had this intense rivalry ever since. Bacchus may seem like a perverted asshole, but he only does it to get a rise out of older siblings and boyfriends. When he's fighting girls, he just gets super pervy to piss them off. He's pretty honourable when he's not trying to fight, though," Lucy smiled fondly, "When Laxus was away at the championships, Bacchus would take over the role of 'bodyguard' for him, so I was never left unsafe."
"Wait, Bacchus is into Krav Maga as well?"
"No, he does Chinese martial arts. Professionally, he does Piguaquan and Bajiquan, although he's become pretty proficient at Zui Quan, if I remember correctly," at this point, Laxus and Bacchus had each other in an odd kind of body lock, and Sting wasn't quite sure who's arms belonged to who.
"Are you two fighting in my halls?!" Erza flew in like a storm, her fiery red hair waving behind her as she approached. Lucy tugged on the back of Sting's shirt, pulling him away from what was surely to become the blast zone. Bacchus' eyes lit up as he spotted the RA.
"Hey, hey! If it ain't Titania! Come on, we were just fighting over titty queen's honour here-" and that was all it took for Erza to join in the fray. Sting looked vaguely disturbed, and Lucy sighed, rubbing her forehead in exasperation.
"Erza's known me since I was born, she's like the sister I never had. She's taken it upon herself to safeguard my honour," was the only explanation provided. Sting nodded in understanding.
"Explains the switchblade at three in the morning."
"Thanks for reminding me," Lucy then strode forward, yanking Erza by the collar to get her attention, "Erza! What do you think you were doing, threatening Sting like that? Honestly-"
In the midst of the chaos, where Laxus and Bacchus had ended up putting three holes through the walls, and Erza was crushing Lucy between her breasts as she went on dramatically about how Lucy was a "precious little angel who simply needed the extra protection", Sting couldn't help but dread the rest of the year.
From: Pincushion
Might wanna run, the explosives brat is Lucy's cousin. As much as he dislikes everybody, he'd take every opportunity to beat your ass. He heard from Cobra, who told his toxicology prof.
"Hey, blondie! You got a cousin after my ass too!"
"Goddamit! Hey, Laxus, go stop Jackal before he gets suspended again! No, Erza don't-!"
To: Pincushion
Too late to transfer?
From: Pincushion
I enjoy your misery. Rogue agrees.
To: Pincushion
At least I get to see blondie's sexy ass thighs ;)
"Sting you pervert!"
"You creepy blonde, why were you reading over my shoulder? Oh fuck, don't gang up on me! No wait-Oh my God my back isn't supposed to bend like this!"
A/N: What, you think I'm gonna let them off that easily? Hell no, the truce is temporary. More shenanigans to ensue. Yes, I made Jackal Lucy's cousin, no, I don't know why. My goal is to make you like the Tartarus characters. I will succeed. I hope.
Anyway, review! It makes me happy when I see them, and then I know what you guys liked and didn't like.
-Touko
Sergeant Sarcasm of the Parody Platoon of the Crack Fiction Liberation Army