[13:11 PM January 3rd, 2016]
We'd been on the road for nearly an hour at this point. Where buildings and concrete roads were during the first half of the trip, trees and snowed-over dirt paths now take their place. Why this party needed to be so far out was beyond my comprehension.
The ride was a lot calmer than I had expected. Token and Clyde's singing hype quickly died down after I shot them a look like I was going to jump out of the moving car and walk back home. They were excited that I gave them the light of day, and so they were doing everything they could to make sure I would change my mind.
Uncharacteristically, I had come up with a couple more pros through the hour long drive. It was my desperate attempt to try and make this evening at least somewhat enjoyable for myself. For starters, because this is Kenny's party, there's bound to be weed aplenty. If I was feeling up to it, I could spend the whole night high. It'd take the edge off.
Another pro is that, if it ended up sucking, it was taking place in a wooded hell land. If I left, nobody could find me. Not easily, anyways. But maybe that's less of a pro and more of an escape option. I'm not good at being optimistic.
"Clyde, are you sure it's just up ahead?" Token spoke up, breaking my train of thought.
"I read the instructions correctly, we should almost be there. I mean, it looks like the place Kenny described..." Clyde trailed off, looking out the window. I'm not sure what he meant by that. Everything's looked the same for about twenty minutes now. Trees and snow.
"You guys never told me what kind of place this is, you know." My comment nearly made Clyde's neck snap from how fast he turned to look at me. I had hardly spoken up since we took off.
"It's one of Kenny's friend's places." Clyde said. "Or, like, it's their parent's cabin or something? I don't know."
"So you mean Kenny found some run down log shack in the middle of the forest, and after he broke into it he thought it'd make a cool party site." I rolled my eyes. There was no way Kenny had a 'friend' who let him throw a party at that kind of place.
"No, it's true!" Clyde was quick to defend. "Trust me, Kenny throws awesome parties. You've never been to one, but he really goes all out. Or as much as he can, anyways."
'All out' he said. I didn't respond, because I couldn't think of any way to rip on the situation at this point. During the ride, I learned that it wasn't just Kenny that would throw these parties. It was him, Stan, and Eric. They all forked into their highschool-rate job salaries to throw "awesome" get-togethers. Kenny is just the one who plans everything and gets the word out.
"Oh, hey. Is that it?" Token reached over and shook Clyde's shoulder, getting his attention.
In the distance, there was what seemed to be a fairly modern cabin in an opening near the road. A couple of cars sat in front of it, one clearly Stan's shitty hybrid.
"Uhhh, hold on let me check." Clyde grabbed for his phone and started swiping through it. "Kenny sent me a picture of it somewhere..." The cabin was quickly approaching as he continued to poke and drag.
"Dude, hurry up. I don't want to stop in front of some strangers house like a weirdo." Regardless, Token still slowed down by the time the cabin came into full view.
Clyde held up his phone in front of him while staring at the house. It took him a solid five seconds before he could confirm that the image on his phone was indeed the same thing he was looking at in real life. And so the car came to a halt.
"Damn, that's bigger than I expected." Token mumbled, opening his door and stepping out. Clyde and I followed suit. The cabin wasn't the biggest thing in the world, but I'd agree with Token, it's a lot bigger than I thought it would be.
"Yup! Kenny scored big time with this. Craig, be glad we took you to this one. It'll probably be one of the best yet!" Clyde closed the passenger door behind him, eagerly eyeing the home up.
Quickly, we closed in on the house in unison. As we passed the two or three cars parked haphazardly in the lawn, a familiar blond flung open the front door from inside.
"Hey bitches!" Kenny threw his arms up in the air as he sauntered out from the doorway. For some reason, it's always weird to see him without his parka on. He hasn't worn it in years, but when he was younger, you'd never catch him dead without it on. Since he grew out of it, he had taken to wearing a bandanna instead. He never liked showing his mouth in front of other people. I never understood why. At least now everybody can understand him.
"Aw man, Kenny! I can already tell this is gonna be so awesome!" Clyde started bouncing up and down in place.
"Yeah, I didn't think it'd be at a place like this. I can't wait." Token added on.
"Oooh, a compliment from Token himself! I'm flattered. Wait until you see how we've set everything up inside." Kenny stepped to the side gesturing towards the open door. Clyde rushed in past Token and I.
As we entered, I took a long gaze over my surroundings. It was spacious, there was a second floor, and the insides matched the outsides of the house. Wooden.
There was a large table in the middle of the foyer with dozens of grocery bags and party supplies on top. In one side of the room, Stan could be seen rearranging a couch while Eric's fat ass sat on top of it. Clearly they were still preparing for the party. Which is when it suddenly hit me that it was only 1 PM.
"Okay, hold on." I stopped in my tracks, a few steps into the place. Kenny walked in from behind me and slammed the door shut. "It's not even dark out yet."
"Keen observation skills." Kenny cooed. He walked over to the table, pulling out bags of chips, pretzels, and other snacks. "Clyde originally was coming here alone. He was going to help set up. Since you two are here also, you can help too!"
"Aww, what?" Token cried. "You know, I thought it was funny that we were leaving so early, but I didn't think it was so you could use us like mules, Clyde." Token, as productive and active as he was (at least compared to Clyde and I), wasn't someone who just helped set up for a big event like this. He pays people to do that.
"No, that wasn't the reason!" Clyde said, almost too quickly. "Okay maybe it was kind of, but it didn't make sense for you guys to drive out for an hour to drop me off just so you'd have to turn around to come back an hour later!"
"Don't worry, there's only a few things we need to do. The party starts at two, and there's only half an hour left until then. We just need to set up the table and make sure we lock the doors that we don't want people getting into. Stan and I already arranged most of the furniture." Kenny was still unbagging things.
After hearing his name, Stan walked up and gave us three a stare. "Craig's here?" I couldn't tell if Stan was scowling or if that's just his normal face. He smiles almost as much as me, which is to say never at all. The only difference between us was that he looked perpetually pissed off at everything and everyone. A chronic bitch-face.
Kenny stopped what he was doing and jumped in-between him and I, almost as if we were going to kill each other through the two words Stan said to me. I don't blame him. Stan and I aren't exactly the best of friends. But I'm not in the mood to fight.
"Yes, he's here, and we're treating him as the guest of honor this evening, okay?"
"What." I spoke up from behind him.
"Do you know how often I ask Clyde to bring you to our parties, Craig?" Kenny looked behind him, still holding his pose between Stan and I, hands out on either side of him.
"All the time, I'm guessing. Clyde's always trying to get me to go to parties with him." I shoot Clyde a look. He shows no remorse.
"And do you know how often you go to said parties?" Kenny continued. I don't have to answer. "That's right. Never. If you're here, and people see you here... could you imagine?" Kenny eases up his stance. Stan is as confused as I am.
"What am I supposed to be imagining, exactly?" I asked.
"Seriously? Dude, if people see YOU at a party, at our party, it will go down in history books." Kenny was making hand gestures that didn't really match up with what he was saying. "Clyde is right. This party is going to be amazing, practically breath-taking."
"Because Craig is here." Stan looked like he didn't believe the words that were coming out of Kenny right now. I was on the same boat.
"Yes! If Craig is here, it MUST mean it's a great party!" Kenny took a step over to me, shoving his way in-between Token and I, and wrapped an arm around my back. My first instinct was to move away, but then I remembered that it was Kenny who I was dealing with. There was no escape.
"Kenny, knock it off. Nobody's going to give a shit that Craig's here." Eric came walking up. Ah, the deafening pterodactyl screech that is Eric Cartman's voice. Everyone thought he'd grow out of his bizarre child voice when he got older, but it never did. There wasn't much to say about his voice, other than that tonight would be ten times better if he didn't speak in my general direction again.
"Are you kidding? He's him." Kenny shook me in his hold. I pushed away from him, growing tired of what he was pulling here.
"What do you mean by that?" I was growing agitated.
"You're like, one of the coolest kids in South Park. You're going to make this party 100% cooler just by standing around!" Kenny and his endless flattery couldn't fool me. I felt like there was something up.
"Are you trying to pull something here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. His starry-eyed face quickly dropped into one of confusion. Then he pulled back into a smile.
"The only thing I'm pulling here is the greatest party of all time, thanks to your presence!" He bowed towards me.
"Kenny, you're a dork." Token spoke up, finally. His words released any tension in the room, as well as any lingering obligation to talk to Kenny and his poor choice in childhood friends.
I walked passed everyone and started to work through the bags of food and paper plates in attempt to forget everything that just took place. But I couldn't get thought out that Kenny had something planned that I didn't know about. Which made me immediately skeptical of Clyde as well. Maybe even Token.
Thoughts quickly dissolved as everyone else joined in to help set the table up, and the room started to fill with their working chit-chat.
The past ten minutes had already been a mental strain for me. Trying to be civil was harder when it involved Kenny, Stan, and Eric. I couldn't imagine what the rest of the night was going to be like, when more people start to show up.
[14:47 PM January 3rd, 2016]
After fixing up the table and helping myself to a can of soda or two, I had wandered off into a living room of some sort with Clyde and Token (and subsequently Kenny) and hung out for about an hour. When Kenny was talking to us, he had gotten so caught up in just generally being him that he had almost forgot to ask us for our "party fee". It's only two dollars, but if I wasn't trying to be a little more friendly this evening, I would have ripped the two bucks in half in front of him.
After that, a good amount of people started to show up, and Kenny went to go stand outside as people pulled up. There were a couple of early birds like ourselves that showed up not much sooner after we did. Kyle was one of them, making Stan's group complete once more.
I let out a sigh as I could hear car doors closing from outside and more and more voices slowly filling the house as the minutes went on. I assumed there was already a sizable crowd in the foyer, and it'd only grow as it got darker outside. I took a sip of soda.
"Craig, I really want to say thank you. I'm so excited that I got you to come along for once." Clyde spoke up. I gave him a nod and nothing more. I'll punch him and I'll call him names, but he's my friend. If this is what'll define his new year, I won't piss on his mood while we're here. I'll do that afterwards.
"I'm honestly kind of hoping there's some sort of alter ego party animal Craig that's inside of you. I mean, you never go to parties, so you never know..." Token said.
"The most life you'll see from me tonight is when I get up from this couch to go take a piss." I gave it to Token straight. I wasn't sure if I was going to be sitting here all night, because that's just asking for people to sit down next to me and interrogate my life choices. I wouldn't be doing much other than standing around until it was dark enough to see the meteor showers, though.
"Can you at least try to make a friend? Or something?" Token sounded like he was about to get onto his knees. He keeps asking me to 'make a friend' or to 'socialize a little bit.' He sounds like my mom when I was eight.
"I was sort of under the assumption that most of the people here tonight were going to be people from our school." I said. I know Clyde mentioned there would be others, but how many people could Kenny possibly know? And just how many of those people could Kenny make drive all the way out here, too.
"Actually, it's about half and half." Clyde stepped in.
"Where the hell is this other 'half' coming from?" I scowled. "I mean, I know Kenny draws in a lot of attention to himself, but I don't think he's drawing in people all the way from other towns."
"Him and his crew have been looking into moving out and roommating with each other in another town. They've been looking for a few weeks now, and I guess they've all made some new friends."
Kenny. And the other three. Kenny, Stan, Eric, and Kyle. Moving out of South Park. "Hopefully this is a going away party." I thought out loud.
Clyde nudged my shoulder. "They aren't going anywhere until the school year is over, dumbass." Yeah, but I can still dream.
"But Craig, that means half of the people here aren't going to know you. I'm sure you can bare to talk to one person. You probably won't even ever see them again." Token drew back the topic.
"Okay here. How about this." I said. Token and Clyde both leaned in to hear what I was going to say. "If I end up talking to someone, I end up talking to someone. I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to somebody, but if somebody decides to talk to me, maybe I'll answer."
This answer pulled smiles onto both of their faces, so I had to stop them before they got any ideas. "If I catch any of you trying to get people to talk to me, I swear I will stick them in a freezer, wait until they are frozen solid, then sharpen them down to a point and stab you both with them." Their faces quickly changed at the thought of that scenario.
"I CAN'T WAIT FOR CRAIG TO maybe TALK TO SOMEONE! Our little boy is growing up, Token." Clyde wiped a fake tear from his eye.
All I had to do is hope that Kenny wasn't alerting everyone of my presence, and I would be fine for a couple more hours, at least.
[17:02 PM January 3rd, 2016]
For the past two hours, I had been narrowly avoiding talking to people. I'm sure it seemed like I was over exaggerating when it came to talking to people, but really I'd rather stab my eyes out than have to look at my schoolmates who purposefully dressed a tad bit skimpier because of this event.
So far, nobody had noticed me. That, or nobody cared that I was here. Either was fine with me. Both, even. Of course, this stealth run had to crash down eventually, it was practically inevitable in a place like this. Even skimming the lesser populated rooms and sticking towards the second floor wouldn't keep me away forever.
Kenny came walking up, his arm lugged around the shoulders of someone I didn't recognize. I thought for a second that it could have been a new girlfriend of his, but she looked too out of his league.
"Craiiiiig!" He called out, mere feet away from me. "I want you to meet one of my most recent friends!" He approached me with said friend. Kenny had clearly been drinking already. How much, I wasn't sure. All I know is that he's sort of a lightweight.
I did nothing but stare at his shameless display. Three hours since the party started and he's drunk. I almost feel bad for his new 'friend.'
"Her name is... uh..." He looks at the girl. "I forgot.
"That's because I never told you." She said. Props to her.
"Well can you tell me now? Because I'd love to know it. And I'm sure my good pal Craig here does, too." He leans more of his weight onto her. For a moment the girl looks visibly uncomfortable, then she pushes him away from her and walks off, not another word said.
"Kenny, what are you doing." I ask. Kenny's never had a girl run away from him. Well, maybe a few times. But most of the time he's pretty decent at picking up chicks. He also has no reason to introduce anyone to me.
"What do you mean, Craigy? Just havin' a good time." He shoots me a double pistol.
I thought things over for a second, and my first thought reeled back to my speculations from earlier. That Kenny was trying to do something here.
"Did Clyde set you up to something?" I felt like Clyde and Token could have tried to get Kenny to help hook me up with someone. It sounds like them, and it definitely has happened in the past.
"That's confidential, bro." He winks.
"That just makes it sound like you are up to something."
"So what if I am?"
"So what if I tell you to fuck off?" I really hoped that Clyde and Token didn't put him up to something stupid. They were already well aware that tonight was not something I was going to enjoy. That would just be making this whole thing worse.
"Look, Craig," Kenny reached out towards me, but I sidestepped his effort. "You gotta loosen up. Live life a little more. Have fun!"
"You know what's fun to me?" I asked.
"What's that?"
"Sitting at home playing video games pretending none of these people exist. That is fun to me. That is my life. Playing with my guinea pig and taking pictures of him. That's how I have fun. Talking to people isn't going to 'loosen me up.' Because I don't care. I don't. Care. About. People." I might have sounded too harsh there. I was annoyed, cranky, and overall just irritated.
Kenny stared at me for a second like he was trying to process what I had just said. Then he tried to reach for me again, to which I avoided a second time. He's always too touchy feely for my tastes, especially when he's drunk.
"I care about you, bro. Clyde and Token do, too. We just want you to find someone cool you can make out with or something, y'know? Or whatever the Craig-equivalent of that is. Holding hands? Petting a cool dog? Wouldn't that be awesome?" Kenny is being stupid, and so are my friends.
I opened up my mouth as if I had something to say, but then I closed it. I thought about going on a rant about how what he's doing is stupid, but that wouldn't get me anywhere. So instead I decided to end this before it got too real. "No, fuck you. I'm not going to have this talk with you."
I pushed him aside and stormed off before his wasted ass could realize I left. I figured now was a good of a time as any to take a smoke break. I bee-lined for the back entrance to a very specific place, one I found while roaming around earlier before people really got a chance to rub themselves into every nook and cranny of this cabin.
I made my way upstairs and towards the back of the house, reaching a door that lead out into a balcony.
It felt rickety and poorly made, almost like it was made by someone who had no part in this cabin before. Or had any part in basic structural knowledge. It was like it could fall at any moment. But right now I could care less.
Closing the door without looking behind me, I walked up to the railing and rested my arms on it in a jiffy. It was nearly night time now. I was so caught up in trying to avoid people that I forgot that this was a meteor shower party. Soon everybody would be outside staring awkwardly up into the sky.
I let out a huff, my breath quickly turning to vapor in front of me. It's in the single digits tonight, completely clear outside. I was sure half of the idiots at the party would be getting frostbite by the night's end. Too drunk or stoned to bother keeping warm while they're outside in nearly 0 degrees.
Looking over the railing down to the ground below, I ran a hand over my pant's pocket and grabbed my lighter and box of smokes. Then I noticed the box felt unusually light.
I opened it up and realized that there were none left. For a moment I was confused, but then my mood turned sour. I was an idiot. I had grabbed an empty box on accident. I never throw away my garbage in my room, so I had nobody to blame but myself. But I was still angry.
I tossed the box out over the edge and groaned the words "god damn it," sinking down a bit and resting my head on the railing. Now the only way I could relax was if I went to find where the weed was at, which meant talking to people. I would have done it if I wasn't already fed up with everybody here already.
I stayed like this for a good minute before I looked up again. For some reason I expected everything around me to change, like all of this was just some stupid daydream. I know I was being a bit too dramatic at this point, but I couldn't help it.
I thought about going back inside and bracing the horrors again, but I suddenly stiffened when I felt a very light tap on my shoulder.
I stood, hunching over the railing for a moment. I expected a voice, but got none. So I decided to turn around and see if it wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me. And it was definitely not my mind. A stranger stood in front of me.
Immediately this stranger was more appealing than any other I've seen tonight, for one solid reason. He had a shaky hand held out. In it, a cigarette. At the same time, all color drained from me when I knew he was probably standing by the door the entire time watching me have a small fit.
I figured this guy of all the others at this party tonight deserved some genuine gratitude from me. "Thanks." I said, taking the cigarette from his hand and turning back around without getting another glance at him. With my back turned to him, I pulled my lighter back out and lit it.
I was preparing myself for what he probably thought was an invitation to a conversation, but after about thirty seconds, it never came. Instead, from what I could see out of the corner of my eye, he had rested on the railing on the far side from me.
I sunk back down and took in the quietness as much as I could before I felt obligated to get back to the heart of the commotion. For a few, it was nice. Then there was a repetitive clicking noise along with sounds of struggle coming from the other side of the balcony. So I glanced over.
The stranger was struggling with a lighter, trying to light his own cigarette. He looked like he was probably pretty new to smoking. So much that he couldn't even use a lighter properly.
The jackass part of me wanted to stay put and listen to him struggle some more, but the small sliver that was my nice side remembered it was only sixty seconds ago that he gave me a smoke without saying a word. So I made my way over to him.
Parroting his generosity, I tapped him on the shoulder. This was a mistake, because he nearly jumped off the balcony in fear.
He let out a loud gasp and swung around to look at me, clutching a lighter in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
I almost questioned why he just acted like I stabbed him, but instead just held out my lighter and lit it in front of him. He flinched at the action, but after inspecting it, he realized what I was offering, and hesitantly held his smoke to the flame, lighting it.
He only nodded his head in appreciation. His face looked more worried and skeptical than thankful. He turned back around and went back to minding his own business. And I did the same.
[18:25 PM January 3rd, 2016]
An hour slipped by quickly after that. I didn't notice just how tense I was until I took a smoke break. After I was done, I went to find Clyde and Token and chatted them up for a bit. Clyde stayed true to his vow from earlier today, and was completely plastered. Token, on the other hand, hadn't touched alcohol all night. He was the one driving us, after all. Even then, he never was one to drink. He's too afraid he'd get in trouble for drinking under aged.
By now I was outside again, but instead of standing on a wooden death contraption, I was resting against a tree next to my aforementioned friends.
"What is even the point of going to a party if you're not gonna DRINK AT ALL!" Clyde was shaking Token's shoulder, slurring his words. Token and I had to keep him away from any more drinks, because he was going to end up hurting himself in the long run.
"I sort of have to drive us home, dude." Token answered, letting Clyde do his thing. He must have been used to this. I wondered just how often he and Clyde went to parties together.
"OH! Oh, oh oh! If you're offering to drive us home," Clyde spat out.
"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who took you here."
"Can you drive someone else back too? I met a pretty lady tonight~ She's awesome, you should see her tits." Clyde was a mess. Part of me feels like the 'pretty lady' he met was just a coat rack that he tried to sex up.
"Sorry, Clyde. I'm pretty sure whoever she is, she has her own ride." Token wasn't one to drive around people unless he knew them. Probably didn't want to be some stranger's chauffeur.
Clyde started whining, and I did the best I could at trying to block it out. I was too busy staring up at the night sky like everybody else was. Well, maybe not everybody. There were some people who thought this train wreck of a party was dreamy enough to want to make out with each other in the middle of a hundred other people. And some too drunk to be able to look up without puking. But I would admit- it might have been worth coming down here and baring six hours of hell, because the night sky really was a lot clearer.
Sometimes I would forget just how much I loved the idea of space. Every dot in the sky is just another sun, only they're so far out that our brains can't even process just how far they are. Yet it's still dark out, even when there are billions of suns in the sky.
And for some reason we call meteoroids 'shooting stars'. I never got that. If a star were to take the meteorite's place, we'd all be dead. I guess it's just because they look like all of the other dots in the sky. That was never an answer I accepted, though. Like an asshole, I'd usually correct someone if they said the words 'shooting' and 'star' when they were talking about meteor showers.
It almost pained my annoyingly aloof ego to think that I'd totally drive back out here in the future, just to see all of the stars I can't see back in South Park. That was something I wouldn't let Clyde or Token know, though. I'd never hear the end of it, and that'd just be another excuse for them to try and bring me to other places.
I was too hard on Clyde and Token tonight. I felt like I should have apologized for complaining so much, but that wasn't in my nature. They knew when I was sorry for something, even without saying it. So I didn't need to. I could tell Token knew what I was thinking to some degree, because I could hear his empty laugh as he saw me stare into the night.
Of course, the second Token said that we should get going soon, I was never more on board with one of Token's suggestions. It was a school night, and staying up late wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have a job right afterwards. So as quickly as I became lost in thought thinking about space, I got up and had to help Token pull Clyde to his feet.
"Come on, buddy." Token huffed, carrying half of his weight, while I the other. We started to shuffle towards the mile-long row of cars. One of the few good things that came out of getting here so early was that we didn't have to park at the end of a car conga line.
"But wait! What about the pretty lady?" Clyde asked. Token and I both rolled our eyes.
"Clyde-" Token started, but I quickly cut him off.
"The lady's dead and her dying words were 'Don't bury me in the same breathing space as Clyde Donovan.'"
Clyde shot a look at me. A mix of shock and disbelief ran though his face. And then he started crying.
"Oh, great, Craig. Now we have to deal with this the entire way home." Token groaned.
"WHY DO THE HOT DIE SO YOUNG?!" Clyde wailed out as we approached the car. I was hoping we could get him inside before he started making too much noise, because I knew it was just going to attract attention. And that it did.
Kenny had stumbled his way over to us, pushing people aside from the crowd in front of the cabin.
"You guys are going already?" Kenny had a bottle in his hand, still keeping his chain going.
"I'm surprised more people haven't already left. Tomorrow's Monday." Token said as he urged Clyde into the backseat of the car.
"But it only just got dark out!" Kenny continued.
"No, it's been dark for about two hours now." I said.
"Oh, right. Time flies when you're having fun. Not that you'd know."
"You're right. I wouldn't know, because I don't like fun." I retorted. I was being somewhat sarcastic, but I'm also a pretty bland person who thinks staring at a toaster while it toasts bread is exciting.
Token hopped into the driver seat and closed the door, making it apparent that he didn't want to bother with Kenny right now. Who would, while he's drunk? Who would in general?
"By the way, Craig," I could practically feel the toothy grin he was giving me from behind his bandanna. "Did you get any action tonight?"
If there were any expression on my face at that time, it flat-lined. I gave him a solid "No."
"Whaaaaat? There were like, tons of people trying to talk to you tonight."
"No there weren't. Nobody gave a shit I was here." I said, making my way around the car to the passenger side. Kenny followed.
"Lots of people were calling your name all night. You just walked past them and ducked into empty rooms like some sort of antisocial troll."
Were they really? I hadn't noticed if they did. I guess I was too caught up in the act of trying to avoid people to actually notice what was going on.
"Hmm. Didn't care enough to pay attention." I grabbed the door handle.
"Do you know how many sacrifices I made tonight? One of the chicks I sent to talk to you was a MODEL. Do you know how hot she was?" I didn't care. God did I not care. I was already tensing up again. I hated the fact that he thought he had to send people over to me to try and get me to hook up. "I almost thought you wanted guys instead with out much you were dodging any sort of interaction with another gal. I mean, there some pretty hot guys at the party too. If I had known I would have gotten them to-"
I pulled open the door. "Kenny?" I look back at him, giving him a very serious stare.
"Uh... yeah?" He looked like I was going to hit him. Which, if I was more angry, I would have.
"Fuck. Off." I stepped into the car without another word and slammed the door shut. He looked at me through the window, a look of failure on his face. That aggravated me. The fact that he felt like he failed in trying to get me interested in strangers I could care less about.
Token turned his head towards me. I was staring straight forward, any sort of half-assed contentedness from earlier completely stripped from me as soon as Kenny decided he wanted one last chat. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he kept to himself instead. So he started up the car.
I could only rely on the sounds of Clyde snoring in the back seat and the snow shuffling beneath the car to calm me.
[18:59 PM January 3rd, 2016]
The ride back home was nice and quiet. Or at least, I wanted to believe it would be. About ten minutes after we took off, we ran into some 'road complications' as Token called it.
Because we live up in the mountains, often times we find ourselves on very narrow roads, with cliffs and heights on either side. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, just like it was on the way here. On our way here, though, we didn't run into any traffic.
"Dude, this guy is going like five miles an hour!" Token wasn't one to become restless. But we had been behind a car that had barely been moving for about ten minutes now.
"He's barely doing five. I could crawl faster than that." I added. Token shook his head in response.
It only took him another minute before Token tried honking his horn at the car. The car immediately stopped in the middle of the road for a split second as a reaction, almost causing a fender bump. The car started roll along again shortly after that, at a swift speed of a mile an hour.
"The fuck is wrong with him!" Token exclaimed.
"Wow, Token. I never expected you to be the angry driver type." I idly messed around on my phone, waiting for whatever was happening to finally end.
"My anger is justified!" Token gripped the wheel of the car. I let out a dry chuckle.
Token, finally fed up, said "Alright, asshole. Why don't you crawl up to the car in front of us and ask him what his deal is."
I stopped tapping away at my phone and looked at him. "What? Why me?"
"Because I'm not going to leave the car out in the middle of the road unattended, and Clyde's passed out in the back seat."
I wanted to protest, but there wasn't any point. If I wanted to get home in time to wake up in the morning, this was something that had to be done. So I took a quiet minute to narrow my eyes at Token before opening the door. We were moving at a pace so slow, he didn't need to stop for me to get out.
Immediately I recognized this as a terrible idea, shoving my hands in the front pockets of my pants. I didn't bother grabbing my coat because I wasn't planning on being outside for long. It was even colder than it was when we left.
I stomped my way around and past Token's car, followed up by the one in front of his only a foot or two ahead. The car was a small, green civic of some sort. The windows were almost on an illegal level of tinted. Combined with the tint and no other light except for Token's headlights, I couldn't even see if there was anybody in the car.
I stared directly into the driver's window, slowly shuffling along with it's speed. When they didn't stop, I figured whoever was inside didn't realize I was right outside their window. So I knocked on the glass.
A muffled but audible shout of fear could be heard from in the car. The car jerked to a halt once more.
Whoever the driver was, they were taking their sweet time trying to decide what to do. I felt like they were going to start speeding away, for some reason. Instead, the window slowly rolled down until it reached about half way. Not enough to see who was inside without a flashlight. I noticed that the car's lights weren't on, either.
"You know, it's kind of dangerous to be driving on a snowy cliff side at night without any headlights on." I was planning on being more angry with the guy, but after my cool down time in the car from when we left, I didn't have the energy.
I didn't get a response right away, so I continued.
"I don't know if you noticed or not, but we've been driving behind you for about fifteen minutes now, and we'd like to get home before Summer rolls around. So if you could hurry it along..."
"I have no idea where I'm going." The person inside mumbled. They said it like a statement, but it sounded like it was a question. Either way, they sounded freaked out.
"Uh..." I looked around. There's only one road, and there's no turns for miles. "There's not much way to go other than forward." The road is too narrow to do a U-ie, and even then it was poorly made and too close to the cliff side. Trying to fit two cars next to each other on it was asking for an accident.
I only received sounds of conflict and struggle. I almost wondered if the guy at the wheel was hurt or injured.
"Are you okay?" Only after I said it did it sound like I was being forced to talk to him. Which I sort of was, in a way. It didn't sound like I meant it. I don't think I did, either.
"My parents are gonna kill me..." His voice sounded strained, like he was talking through his teeth. "If I don't get home on time, oh Jesus! I'm so stupid, why did I come out here?"
"I don't recall asking you for a story. Where are you trying to go?"
"Some town I've never been to before, I don't know!" His breathing was jagged at this point. If the window were rolled down any further, I was sure I'd see him hyperventilating in place.
"And you don't know where you're going?"
"That's what I just said." His voice quickly changed tone. He sounded critical. I almost felt offended.
I sighed, already having dealt with too much today. "If you tell me the name of the town, I'm pretty sure I can give you directions." As much as I wanted to cuss this guy out for acting strange, I wanted to get out of the cold even more. I had guessed trying to be civil and nice would help things move along, but I guessed wrong.
"South Park." He said those words with such urgency, I barely keyed in on what he said. Who was trying to go to South Park? Nobody knows what or where South Park is unless they've lived in it to begin with.
"Are you somebody from my school? Are you playing a prank or something?" I blurted out before I had a chance to think about what I was saying.
"What? No!" he shrieked.
"Why the hell are you going to South Park?" I asked.
"If I tell you, you might try and- and hunt me down! And my family, too!" he was nearly stumbling over his own words.
"What?"
"How do I know you're not an assassin hired to kill me and everyone I know?!" I could hear things being shuffled around in the car.
"If I was hired to kill you, I wouldn't be making small talk with you on the side of a fucking cliff." I tugged down on my hat, trying to refrain from just flipping him off and spending the rest of my life in Token's car.
He was silent after I said that. I wasn't sure if he was thinking through what I said, or if he had keeled over from a stress heart attack.
I started wondering what this would have turned into if Token came out instead. For a change of pace, I wasn't the grumpiest one in that car, considering the circumstances. Token's nice, but his angry side is a sight to behold. It might have been better that he sent me, the more I thought about it. He probably would have thrown the guy off the cliff by now. Though I'm not too far behind, honestly.
"You're from the party." he finally spoke up, almost all traces of anxiety in his voice gone. This guy was at Kenny's party?
"Yes?" I answered, with some hesitation. I made an effort not to talk to anybody from the party unless I knew them. All that would come of it was that I'd get into shit I didn't want to be involved in. Like what's happening right now.
"Are you from South Park?" he asked. I thought it was pretty clear that I was.
"Let's just... stick to the subject at hand here." I did not want to get sucked into friendly chitchat right now. I'm standing out here freezing my ass off trying to convince someone I'm not an assassin. I've already taken things too far.
"This is the subject at hand." There was that tone again. I can't tell if he wants help or if he wants a punch to the face.
"Why." I asked.
"My family just moved there. Are you driving there? Is there someone else in the car with you? Wait, no. There is. The car was still moving when you knocked on my window." He was rambling to himself. Whoever this guy was, I was not looking forward to seeing him in town. He sounded like a nutcase, which meant he'd fit right in. I didn't like that.
"Yes, we're driving there. Or, we were, until you decided to play turtle with your car." I scowled. I would have crossed my arms if it didn't mean I had to take my hands out from my pocket. At this rate I was going to get frostbite.
"Can you give me directions?"
"Pretty sure if you just keep going down the road you'll see a sign at some point." I sighed, finally getting somewhere in my efforts.
"But what if I make the wrong turn? What if I end up driving forever until I run out of gas! Or what if I don't run out of gas but I end up somewhere where I shouldn't be? Like Florida?! I don't want to go to Florida, it's too humid, man!" Back to freaking out. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I don't know every turn by heart. What the fuck do you want me to do, drive you there?" I was being sarcastic, but I don't think he took it that way.
"What? What about the other people in your car! Wait is there more than one? What about them?!" I'm at that point. The point of wanting to throw this guy off the cliff. The only thing stopping me from throwing the entire car off of this cliff is the fact that I don't have supernatural strength.
"I was joking." I growled. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to keep it cool, but it was really hard to with this guy. "Look. I'm freezing my ass off here. I want to get back home, and the only way to do that without walking for a day in the snow is to get you going."
Another moment of silence. I was tempted, at this point, to pull out my phone and flash a light into his car so I could see what he looked like. But I decided against it. Not because it was a stupid idea, but because he'd probably get an anxiety attack from it.
Also because the car door opened, and he stepped out.
He was short, his hair looked like a yellow rat's nest, and he was bundled up in a sweater and scarf. None of which concerned me. Something that did catch my attention, though, was that this was the same guy who I met on the balcony at the party. Anger drained from my face only for confusion to replace it.
He seemed pretty decent back at the party. A bit shaky, but not overly weird. And now he was... this. I couldn't speak up just because of how little I expected him of all people to step out.
He looked like he was about to say something before turning his attention to Token closing his door and walking up to the two of us. I forgot that he was still in there. I've been out here for ten minutes now trying to get this guy to move, and I've somehow made the situation even worse.
"What's going on here?" Token demanded.
"This is another person from the party. Right?" The stranger looked up at me. He was talking to me casually like we've talked before. Even if we technically did, to some degree, I didn't feel comfortable with that.
"Yeah. You were there? Are you a friend of Kenny's?" Token said.
"Oh, uh... yeah." He didn't sound too sure of himself.
"Cool, cool." Token trailed off for a moment. "Craig, why are we all standing out here?" He looked at me.
I shook my head. "I was trying to-"
"He's going to drive me home." The stranger cut me off. What?
"What?" Token and I said in unison.
"Dude, how did that happen?" Token gave me a look. I wasn't too sure what it meant. Probably something along the lines of a 'you never talk to anybody and now you're driving some random guy home?' look.
"I didn't- I'm not..." I couldn't formulate a full sentence, for some reason. I was noticeably flustered, and I had no clue what was going on.
"I know I told you to get him moving, but I didn't mean you had to offer him a ride home." Token didn't look as annoyed. He looked more amused. "But I won't stop you. It's good to see you're making friends. I'll catch you later." Token walked back to his car and got in before I could protest.
This is what Token wanted. He waited for me to talk to somebody from the party just so he could say I made a friend. I don't even know this guy's name.
Without saying a word I stomped up to Token's car and tried to open up his door, but he had locked it from the inside. He gave me a calm, evil little smile. I couldn't believe what was happening right now.
I shot a look back at the rat haired blond, who was standing by his car, waiting for me. I seared in place for a moment, then figured there was no way I was getting out of this. So I accepted defeat.
I turned back towards the other car, forgetting that I had a vice grip on the door handle of Token's car, and nearly tripped walking back over to the stranger. I couldn't tell if I was more angry or somewhat humiliated by everything that happened in the past minute. Maybe even both.
When I approached him, he made no hesitation to make his way around the car and got in on the passenger side. I assumed this was signal to hop into the front seat. So I did.
I sat down and closed the door.
The car was compact and unusual. I felt weird being in the front seat of someone else's car. It was worse when I realized that the car was filled to the brim with charms and bobble heads. The dashboard was littered with objects that looked like they were found on the side of a street. There were even some stickers stuck to the insides of the doors. And to top it off, the entire car smelled like coffee. Being in this car was unnerving.
"Why am I doing this." I asked. I'm not sure if I asked it to myself or to the blond.
"Because you offered." he said.
I actually didn't offer at all. Even if I wasn't joking when I said it, it still wasn't an offer. But I didn't feel like arguing. Well, actually, I did. However, my body didn't. I was exhausted. So I gripped the wheel without another word and took off down the road.
I really needed to stop letting myself pulled into these situations.