Chapter 2: Let's be honest: Dorothy was definitely high the whole time that movie was in color.

Start: 100HP, 0 pokémon on team, 0 deaths

"All girls dream of traveling. It said so on TV."

I looked at the screen as I crammed a piece of toast in my mouth. A girl with her hair in pigtails was walking down a road. A yellow brick road. She looked too damn perfect for my tastes, and too hopeful despite the fact that a tornado had just picked her up and carried her off to lollipop land or whatever.

"Really? The Wizard of Oz? Dorothy didn't want to travel," I said, crumbs falling from my mouth. I didn't bother wiping them up; I was in a hurry, and besides, she'd put up with worse BS from me. Probably not how I should treat the woman who had been willing to rent out a room to a bad egg like me, but she seemed to enjoy cleaning up after me well enough. I sometimes thought that maybe it was to make up for her own lack of kids. "Besides, Dorothy is probably high this entire movie. Only way that any of it makes any sense."

She smiled. "Sure you're not getting the itch to travel? What with your boyfriend leaving in a couple days to go on his journey?"

I rolled my eyes, but returned the grin. "Like I haven't heard that one before. You know that the great Gary Oak has never disgraced himself enough to go out with a slob like me." Speaking of which, I walked down the hall really quick to look in a mirror.

"Actually, I take that back. I look pretty damn good today." My favorite aqua blue tank was actually clean for once, as was the reddish skirt I rarely ever wore. Sure, I could do to lose a pound or twenty, but that wasn't gonna happen, so screw that. Aside from that, I looked good enough. Even my scruffy old tennis shoes with the Sharpied-on arrows seemed somehow brighter than normal… Wait a minute.

"Damn it, old lady! I told you not to touch my shoes without permission!" I shouted.

"But they were so dirty!" she shouted back, completely unconcerned with my cursing and name-calling. That's how it had always been, ever since I started renting the room two years back. She'd yet to seem bothered. "I just tossed them in the wash, is all."

I harrumphed and grumbled inaudibly a bit, but just then noticed that my hair was still a mess. I'd barely had the patience to brush through it this morning, and even aside from that, the brown dye was starting to fade, making it a nasty, uneven shade of dirt brown."

"Fucking off-brands. One of these days I should just go ahead and buy the good stuff… Too bad I never have that much money."

I ran up to my room and grabbed my white sunhat-ish thing with the pokéball on the front. That'd cover up the hair, sort of, though it was way longer than just my head of course. I spent another second in front of the mirror.

I shrugged. "Good enough for that good-for-nothing jackass. Anyway, I'm off! I know the Prof's got an errand for me to run today, so I might not be back tonight."

"Or maybe for a while longer…" my landlady muttered audibly, the smile still on her face.

I paused in the doorway. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, nothing," she said. "Do tell that cute little Henry hi for me!"

"Will do!"

I caught sight of the clock on my way out. Fuck. I was late, but at least Oak's lab wasn't far; I wouldn't have even bothered running, even if I could. So I started walking through Pallet and-

Woah, wait. Hold up a moment. You're still actually listening to the crap I've got going through my head? Well, get yourself comfortable then, because I've got a bit of a complicated past, and I'll have to do some explaining.

Eventually.

But for now, that'll have to wait, 'cuz as you creepers have already seen, I'm running a bit late. All you need to know is that Green turned eighteen today, and since he's old enough to finally go and challenge the gyms like he's always wanted to, his gramps – my boss – is finally 'officially' giving him a pokémon. Green, a.k.a. Gary Motherfucking Oak. But he'll always be a greenhorn to me, ever since we had our first battle, so I call him Green just like I always have. I remember that battle like it was yesterday…

…Actually, I will remember it, but not now. I'll wait for the right moment for that flashback. For now, let me just say one last thing: I honestly think that this 'official giving' of the pokémon is crap, because he could've had a pokémon legally since he was ten, and he's practiced with that charmander, Will, plenty enough in the past that they might as well already be partners. So yeah, this is a crappy waste of time. But anyway, I'm finally here, so let's go.

End Chapter: 100 HP, 0 pokémon on team, 0 deaths

As you can see, chapters will be short and sweet! This is kinda new for me, but I feel like it works best for a written Nuzlocke... Or, at least, for this particular written Nuzlocke.

Also... Yeah, first person. I wasn't originally going to be breaking the fourth wall with it, but then I was like "I already don't like it. How can I spice it up?" So we will have a fourth-wall breaking protagonist, at least on occasion. I am generally not a fan of first person since it's hard to do well... Thankfully, I'm just doing this for fun, so I don't mind the quality too much. That being said, though, I would appreciate any feedback! I haven't written in first person in a long time, so I'm sure I could use some improvement.

And also also, since this is mostly for fun, proofreading will be limited if not nonexistent. Feel free to message me or review with corrections, or feel free to ignore them if they're pretty minor. As I've mentioned, this is more for fun, so I'm just sort of rolling with it and trying not to invest as much time in it as I usually do in my pokémon fanfics.

And, final side-note: as you can tell, I'm just going for the main protagonist's appearance with this description, with a couple changes, namely the arrows on the shoes and being a bit overweight. Both of which are sort of plot points... but they're more there just to distinguish her a bit more from the generic LeafGreen/FireRed female protagonist while still keeping the overall look. Oh, and she's 18 years old rather than ten. That's a change, of course.