Don't ask me where I come up with this stuff. As I look back I realize how strange this story is. Well enjoy it anyway.
Chapter 2: Just let me kill myself in peace!
That night she found some coal and drew all over herself with it and then put some fishnets on her more private areas. For it was the custom to dress like this when you were the pharaoh's prostitute. She had started the trend herself. Unfortunately no one had decided to follow it yet. But it was just a matter of time.
And then he came. It was Imhotep with two daggers. One for her and one for himself and then she remembered their plan.
"Let me kiss you." Imhotep said. He thought the whole coal thing made her look sexy.
"But the what if the pharaoh walks in?"
"But I love you." he pleaded.
She drew her hand up to his face. He had some dirt on his face and she wanted to wipe it off for him. He took it as a sign that she wanted him to kiss her and so he did. She didn't resist of course. She was a loose girl and besides she loved him. Unfortunately and not meaning too, Imhotep accidentally smeared the coal on her arm messing it up. They both didn't notice and they both didn't really care. Only the pharaoh cared and he would be dead soon anyway.
Then they heard a noise and Imhotep ran.
"Go." she called after him. "Only you can resurrect me." Saying those words made her feel better. She was sort of nervous about the whole killing herself thing. Not nervous about killing the pharaoh just the killing herself part.
But Imhotep was already long gone so he didn't hear her.
The pharaoh walked in angry. He seemed to know something was up. He looked right at the coal smeared on her arm and said "Someone has touched you." which was really no surprise to him because he had suspected all along that she was a loose girl and found other male company. She looked at him surprised and speechless. What should she say?
They stood there in an awkward silence for about a minute till finally Imhotep came back and stabbed the pharaoh in the back. "Sorry. I forgot my cue." Imhotep said as he continued to stab at the pharaoh.
"Imhotep? The priest? What are you doing here?" the pharoah asked in astonishment and in between each stab made by Imhotep.
"I was the one who touched Anck."
"Did you say you were sorry?"
"What?"
"I mean, oh I get it. You and Anck have been getting it on behind my back. I guess that explains why you are stabbing me."
"That's right!" Anck said. "I love him!"
"You love him?" The pharaoh asked disbelieving.
"Yes. I love him."
"You love him?!" the pharaoh said still disbelieving.
"Yes. I love Imhotep."
"Really?"
"Yes really."
"Really, really?"
She sighed and said "Really, really."
"Oh." the pharaoh said. "I never would have guessed." And with that she stabbed the pharaoh about 80 times till he finally fell down dead. Hey he worked out. He had strong muscles. Besides he was wearing armor with they had to stab through till they finally got through to his flesh.
Imhotep ran, again.
Then the guards walked in 30 minutes later. When they saw the pharaoh laying there dead and Anck covered in blood they said "Who did this?"
"I did you imbeciles! I killed him."
"Oh. What did he do that was so bad that you had to go kill him!" One of the guards asked.
Anck had a speech in her head before the guards had walked in but now she couldn't remember it.
"I will no longer be used as his toilet!" she said after a minute of thinking of what to say.
"What did he do, pee on you? That's no reason to kill a guy."
Anck yelled "Shut up! I have to kill myself!"
The guards watched in curiosity as Anck raised the dagger high and stabbed it into herself. "Ow!" she whined. "That hurt."
"Are you Ok?" One of the guards asked. "Should we get a Doctor?"
"I just killed myself dummy." She yelled.
"You don't look dead too me."
"Well I'm about to be." She said as she stumbled onto the floor.
"Now let me kill myself in peace."
"You sure you don't need any help. I mean I'm definitely skilled at killing people." A guard said.
"And I was in a war!" Another offered.
"Just go away!" Anck yelled. "I think I can do this by myself."
And with he head dropped to the ground and she said no more, because you see, she was dead. Obviously.
"Anck?" one of the guards said hitting her with his foot. "Are you still alive?"
"No. I'm dead!" A voice said from no where.
"Oh. Did you want to be buried in cream or purple?"
There was no answer as Anck's soul had left and gone to Hamanatra, City of the Dead.
[Think that was funny? I do. I'm still laughing. Anyway. Read the next part.]
Chapter 2: Just let me kill myself in peace!
That night she found some coal and drew all over herself with it and then put some fishnets on her more private areas. For it was the custom to dress like this when you were the pharaoh's prostitute. She had started the trend herself. Unfortunately no one had decided to follow it yet. But it was just a matter of time.
And then he came. It was Imhotep with two daggers. One for her and one for himself and then she remembered their plan.
"Let me kiss you." Imhotep said. He thought the whole coal thing made her look sexy.
"But the what if the pharaoh walks in?"
"But I love you." he pleaded.
She drew her hand up to his face. He had some dirt on his face and she wanted to wipe it off for him. He took it as a sign that she wanted him to kiss her and so he did. She didn't resist of course. She was a loose girl and besides she loved him. Unfortunately and not meaning too, Imhotep accidentally smeared the coal on her arm messing it up. They both didn't notice and they both didn't really care. Only the pharaoh cared and he would be dead soon anyway.
Then they heard a noise and Imhotep ran.
"Go." she called after him. "Only you can resurrect me." Saying those words made her feel better. She was sort of nervous about the whole killing herself thing. Not nervous about killing the pharaoh just the killing herself part.
But Imhotep was already long gone so he didn't hear her.
The pharaoh walked in angry. He seemed to know something was up. He looked right at the coal smeared on her arm and said "Someone has touched you." which was really no surprise to him because he had suspected all along that she was a loose girl and found other male company. She looked at him surprised and speechless. What should she say?
They stood there in an awkward silence for about a minute till finally Imhotep came back and stabbed the pharaoh in the back. "Sorry. I forgot my cue." Imhotep said as he continued to stab at the pharaoh.
"Imhotep? The priest? What are you doing here?" the pharoah asked in astonishment and in between each stab made by Imhotep.
"I was the one who touched Anck."
"Did you say you were sorry?"
"What?"
"I mean, oh I get it. You and Anck have been getting it on behind my back. I guess that explains why you are stabbing me."
"That's right!" Anck said. "I love him!"
"You love him?" The pharaoh asked disbelieving.
"Yes. I love him."
"You love him?!" the pharaoh said still disbelieving.
"Yes. I love Imhotep."
"Really?"
"Yes really."
"Really, really?"
She sighed and said "Really, really."
"Oh." the pharaoh said. "I never would have guessed." And with that she stabbed the pharaoh about 80 times till he finally fell down dead. Hey he worked out. He had strong muscles. Besides he was wearing armor with they had to stab through till they finally got through to his flesh.
Imhotep ran, again.
Then the guards walked in 30 minutes later. When they saw the pharaoh laying there dead and Anck covered in blood they said "Who did this?"
"I did you imbeciles! I killed him."
"Oh. What did he do that was so bad that you had to go kill him!" One of the guards asked.
Anck had a speech in her head before the guards had walked in but now she couldn't remember it.
"I will no longer be used as his toilet!" she said after a minute of thinking of what to say.
"What did he do, pee on you? That's no reason to kill a guy."
Anck yelled "Shut up! I have to kill myself!"
The guards watched in curiosity as Anck raised the dagger high and stabbed it into herself. "Ow!" she whined. "That hurt."
"Are you Ok?" One of the guards asked. "Should we get a Doctor?"
"I just killed myself dummy." She yelled.
"You don't look dead too me."
"Well I'm about to be." She said as she stumbled onto the floor.
"Now let me kill myself in peace."
"You sure you don't need any help. I mean I'm definitely skilled at killing people." A guard said.
"And I was in a war!" Another offered.
"Just go away!" Anck yelled. "I think I can do this by myself."
And with he head dropped to the ground and she said no more, because you see, she was dead. Obviously.
"Anck?" one of the guards said hitting her with his foot. "Are you still alive?"
"No. I'm dead!" A voice said from no where.
"Oh. Did you want to be buried in cream or purple?"
There was no answer as Anck's soul had left and gone to Hamanatra, City of the Dead.
[Think that was funny? I do. I'm still laughing. Anyway. Read the next part.]