Chapter Two

Byakuya watched Renji leave his office in a daze. Once he was gone, Byakuya frowned after him. What had caused his vice captain to act so strangely? Perhaps it was something he had eaten. Byakuya returned to his desk and began filling out documents.

There was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he muttered, without looking up.

The 3rd division's vice captain Kira Izuru hesitantly poked his head inside. He nodded in lieu of a bow when he saw Byakuya. "Excuse me, Kuchiki Taichou. I heard that Abarai Fukutaichou was looking for me. Have you seen him?"

"Yes, but I don't know where he is now. I imagine he returned to his quarters."

"Oh, I see," Kira nodded again with a hesitant smile. "Thank you."

As he was leaving, Byakuya added, "But I wouldn't go near him now if I were you."

Kira stopped as he was turning to go. He glanced back at the captain. "May I ask what you mean?"

Byakuya blinked, for him an expression of indifference. "He seems to be sick. He was in here a moment ago acting strange."

"Strange how?"

"He said he was in love with me."

Kira stood dumbfounded, no doubt at Byakuya's straightforward way of saying it as much as anything else. "He said…he loved you?"

"Yes. So I suggest you give him a while to cool off. But let me or the 4th division know if he says he loves anyone else today. We should find out if it's contagious as well."

Kira shook his head slowly, trying to comprehend what he was hearing. "Has he ever said this to you before?"

"No."

"Did he say why he was telling you now?"

Byakuya was growing bored, though as always it was nowhere near his facial expression. "I don't think so."

"Well…what did you say to him?"

His black eyes flicked up to the vice captain taking up space in his office. "What do you think? Whether or not he was deluded at the time, I answered him honestly and professionally. He should be fine in the morning, but I'll send the 4th division to look in on him anyway."

"I don't think they'll be able to help with this," Kira muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

"What was that?" Byakuya muttered, starting to lose his patience.

The vice captain looked a bit nervous in front of Byakuya, but he said hesitantly, "It's just…whatever state of mind he was in, if he was serious about what he was saying, I doubt he wanted you to be professional."

"Meaning?"

Kira looked uncomfortable again, scratching the back of his neck. "Meaning…he probably just wanted some reassurance. To know that you value him at the very least. That you think of him. I don't think it would have been wrong to tell him that."

Byakuya's eyes narrowed. He had no interest in being told what to do by a simple subordinate, not to mention someone who didn't know the situation. "Considering his past behavior, today was a fluke. I don't plan on thinking about it any more deeply than that. If you have no other business, Kira Fukutaichou…"

Kira frowned deeply at Byakuya, but he said nothing that he was thinking. "Then, excuse me."

He left and closed the door behind him. Byakuya rubbed his temples. Was it a full moon?

The next day, Byakuya finished his office work without incident and headed home for the evening. On the way, he passed by a kimono shop. He spotted a black silk fabric patterned with pink cherry blossoms. After passing it briefly through his fingers to make sure of its quality, he ordered a kimono to be made for Rukia, as a gift. One of the few signs that he was a caring older brother, sometimes too much so, was that he knew Rukia's measurements by heart. Having done this, he continued on his way.

He walked with purpose, as always, but slowed when he heard strange sounds coming from around the empty ally behind him. He stopped and turned, because the noises sounded indecent. That type of behavior in public needed to be punished.

He headed toward the ally he had just passed, but stopped when he saw a familiar mane of red. His eyes widened.

Renji, his long red hair hanging loose and wild, was pressed up against the ally wall by Kira, who was currently doing indecent things to him. Worse, Renji seemed to be enjoying it. Kira's left hand teased Renji's nipples. He rained kisses down upon the red-head's neck and chest, while Renji gasped and desperately tried to hide the sound of his voice. Kira's right hand seemed hidden at first, and then Byakuya realized what he was doing. With his right hand, Kira was massaging his own member along with Renji's, underneath the cover of both their kimonos. Gradually, both men became lost in the motions of Kira's hand.

Renji's gasps rose, despite his attempts to hide them. Though Kira's face was buried in his neck, kissing, sucking and biting passionately, Renji had his eyes closed and his face turned upward. And then Byakuya heard something that he wished he hadn't.

"T-…Taichou! Kuchiki…Taichou!"

He recoiled. Forgetting the need to punish offenders of public space, Byakuya turned on his heel and headed for home faster than before. He shook his head, trying to pretend he had seen nothing just now. Or that the person being violated by Kira had been anyone but his vice captain.

Renji came hard into Kira's hand, and Kira too came only moments later. The two men trembled and clung to each other for long moments, enjoying the afterglow. Slowly, Renji's eyes opened. And suddenly the shame of the past two days seemed all too real to him. He closed his eyes again.

"Kira," he said, softly. The blond raised his head to look Renji in the eyes. Renji shook his head. "I don't think I want this."

Kira seemed a bit downcast, but he didn't say so. "I was worried this sort of thing might be too much for you. I just wanted to comfort you. I'm sorry, Abarai."

The red-head chuckled awkwardly and shook his head again. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm grateful. And…it felt good. Really good." Kira blinked at this confession, then he blushed and looked away. When he saw Kira blushing, Renji did too. They stood in awkward silence for a few moments. "I feel much better than I did yesterday. And it's because you've been so kind to me. Really, thank you."

Kira smiled shyly and shrugged. "I enjoyed it too, after all."

They both laughed a little. "Of course you did, I'm a damn good fuck," Renji said, and that made Kira laugh loudly. "Really, thanks, Kira."

Kira nodded. "No problem, Abarai. Come to me anytime." His smile faded as a thought occurred to him. "What are you going to do about Kuchiki Taichou?"

Renji closed his eyes, trying to hide the sadness. "Nothing I can do. Even if he hadn't rejected me as completely as he did, and even if I didn't have to see him every day, I've…been doing these things. I've dirtied myself. Not you! I mean, you're not dirty, it's just that…I only wanted to do those things with him. And now I've done them with someone else…it just doesn't feel right."

Kira shook his head with a smile. "Abarai, you don't need to explain it to me. I understand. Even after Ichimaru Taichou's betrayal, I still didn't want to see anyone else for a long time. But even if it was a mistake for you…" He brushed Renji's long hair out of his face and behind his ear. "I'm still glad I got to be with you like this."

Renji blushed, but smiled at the warm feeling that those words gave him. Even if Kira wasn't the one he wanted to be with, it still felt good to be wanted. Maybe someday he might find sanctuary in those kind smiles and warm embraces.

"Well…after sex, the next best thing to mend a broken heart must be alcohol! Shall we throw you a broken-heart party?" Kira chuckled.

Renji laughed. "Actually, that might be fun."

Byakuya was still in shock when he reached home. He closed himself up in his room for a while, first trying to think things through, then trying to distract himself by practicing his shodou. Eventually, when none of the characters seemed to display any emotion other than dismay, he was back to rubbing his temples again. The world must be going crazy.

As a strange thought came to him, he felt a twinge of anger rise in his chest. Renji was clearly out of his mind, that was a given. But if he was maybe drugged…or there was something strange going on with his body, perhaps dormant feelings of admiration that he felt for his captain had turned suddenly into something more than that, against his will. If so then all his actions were excusable. However it left him vulnerable to manipulation. What if the person to take advantage of that had been Kira? That explained everything. The cause of Renji's problem he would leave for another time. For now, he must investigate what Kira was trying to accomplish by manipulating Renji.

He pushed his shodou away and stood to leave.

He slid open the door of his room and bumped into something small. "Oh…Nii-sama!" Rukia rubbed her forehead, which had hit Byakuya's elbow as he opened the door, and then she bowed slightly. "Good afternoon."

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

"Uh, yes. To Renji's party."

"Party?" Byakuya repeated, frowning.

Rukia jumped at his sharp tone. "Yes. Kira said it was a broken-heart party."

Ignoring the rest of what she had said, Byakuya sighed angrily at hearing Kira's name. "I'll go too," he announced.

Rukia stumbled over her words for a moment. "Well…it's just a few people, I should ask Kira if it's all right…Also I don't think Nii-sama is the right person to…"

Byakuya glared down at her.

"Although I'm sure it's fine!" Rukia said, laughing uncomfortably and glancing away.

Every single person at this party, which included Kira, Rukia, Matsumoto, Hisagi, Ikkaku and Yumichika, knew the cause of Renji's "broken heart". What none of them could figure out was why that very cause was sitting at the bar with them, downing sake like water. At first there were many whispers, and a general feeling of discomfort with the grave atmosphere around said person, but when Kuchiki Taichou seemed uninterested in what was going on, gradually the mood elevated, and the partiers resolved simply not to mention the cause of Renji's unhappiness aloud.

Renji, for his part, was stunned at his captain's participation, which he didn't understand even after Rukia explained it to him. He struggled to remember a time when Kuchiki Taichou had willingly gone out to a party, particularly with people he considered inferior (subordinates). But nevertheless, he tried to have a good time and express his appreciation for what his friends were trying to do.

At one point in the evening, Kira leaned in close to whisper something in Renji's ear. Renji laughed a little bit and nodded.

Suddenly, Kuchiki's sake cup slammed loudly against the table. All talking ceased, and every set of eyes, even those from other tables, was aimed at the dark look on Kuchiki's face. Then the captain got to his feet.

"Renji," he said. Then he grabbed his vice captain's arm. "Come with me for a moment."

Renji sat agape at first, and then slowly rose. Once he did, Kuchiki nearly dragged him out of the bar by his elbow.

Byakuya rounded a corner and shoved Renji against the wall behind the establishment, pinning him down by the shoulder. "What are you thinking?"

Renji was taken aback, truly not sure what was happening. He didn't think he'd ever seen his captain so openly angry, except maybe during his fight with Ichigo. What had he done that had caused this so constantly settled person to become so agitated? "Taichou?"

"He is taking advantage of you. And you're letting him. Don't you have any pride as a man?"

Renji's dark eyes became lidded with sadness, and shame at discovering the fact that his captain had somehow found out what he had been doing. "I do, but…" he looked away. "Please don't say such things about Kira. He was just being kind."

Byakuya's jaw muscles tightened. "Kind?" He thought about what it meant to be kind. "What do you mean by kindness…Something's happened to you, you're sick. He's perverted and dragging you into something perverse against your will. I won't have my subordinate behaving this way."

Renji couldn't speak for a moment, filled simultaneously with shame and anger. "Taichou…" he said, eventually. "I may be sick, but not in the way you think. I know how things must look to you, but this isn't something that happened to me suddenly, I've been feeling this way for a long time. Eventually I just couldn't hold it in anymore."

Byakuya listened to this while realization was slowly dawning on him. The idea that Renji was plagued by some strange illness slowly faded. But…what was the alternative?

"Listen, I…won't say it anymore. And I won't do things like what I did with Kira, so please don't try to take care of me anymore. Your concern just hurts my pride and gives me false hope. I just want to forget about all this and let my feelings fade."

Byakuya's stomach lurched painfully. Why did that upset him? Wasn't that the ideal solution?

Renji paused for a moment, realizing his captain somehow knew something he shouldn't. "Taichou, how did you know about me and Kira?"

Byakuya's eyes widened slightly, but he quickly glanced away. "Does it matter?" he replied, noncommittally, though his heart was pounding in his ears.

"No, I guess it doesn't," Renji muttered, glancing away. "I'm sorry, Taichou. Please try to forget all of this."

With that, Renji gently broke free of Byakuya's grip on his shoulder, and returned to the bar where his friends were waiting. Byakuya stayed behind, gazing at the space where Renji had been, and wondering what was going on inside his own head.

So. No mysterious malady was plaguing his vice captain. What he'd said on that day had been nothing more or less than his true feelings. It didn't change much about the situation; such feelings were still just as wrong. But now Byakuya had no excuse for his vice captain. Maybe he'd been looking for one, and that was why he believed such a ridiculous story as a mystery illness.

Byakuya greeted Hisana, as he did each morning, but this time he stayed behind for a time in the silent room, watched over by his late wife's beautiful image. How long since Byakuya had even considered romantic issues? Decades at least.

He sighed heavily. "What would you do?" he asked her.

Of course, her image in the shrine was silent as ever, but by looking at it, Byakuya was always able to imagine what her reply would have been. And having done so, he sighed again.

"It's true. I can't remove him from his post for this. I could always find some other reason, but I have no one to replace him. Besides, he said he wanted to forget about it…"

Byakuya paused, halted by a strange feeling in his gut.

"Why would he say that?" he wondered aloud. If it were him, he would never want to forget about someone he truly loved. He glanced up at Hisana, and felt the usual aching in his chest, although over the years it had almost become pleasant. It reminded him of her. He would never forget her as long as he lived.

"Does he love me so little, then?" Byakuya wondered, his face and voice still emotionless as usual, although there was a small amount of bite in his tone. "If he went so far as to express such inappropriate feelings over someone he could forget so easily, I must be giving him too much credit. I'm disappointed in him."

And yet even as he said this, he knew Renji was not the sort of man to act frivolously. In truth, he'd never seen or heard of Renji doing anything inappropriate romantically speaking. Not ever. They'd been together a long time. Part of him wanted to disavow all those years that he had relied on him as a skillful and capable subordinate. That part of him felt betrayed and disgusted. Another part would be sad to lose him, but he paid little heed to that. The practical part of him said that the issue was done with, he would return to his duties and Byakuya's only responsibility was to forget all that had happened.

Why should that be so difficult?

After that, nearly a month passed without incident. After a few days of seeming slightly dimmer than his normal self, Renji bounced back. Byakuya caught himself many times watching him, whether to make sure he was all right or make sure he didn't try to cause trouble again, he wasn't quite sure himself. And without being aware of it himself, there was hardly a moment his eyes left him when in conversation with Kira Izuru. Byakuya still had some lingering anger toward that man, even after the situation had been explained to him. At any rate, he would always suspect someone else's subordinates of misconduct before his own.

It was around that time that Byakuya's daily office duties were interrupted by a lot of shouting toward the direction of the barracks. His eyes flicked in that direction. It didn't sound like an enemy attack, but in any event he should see why his division was causing a ruckus.

Once he left the building and walked into the bailey, he saw a large number of shinigami from the 11th division, headed up by a grinning Maradame Ikkaku. Renji was facing him off with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised, flanked by most of the seated officers of the 6th, and shinigami from both divisions were shouting at one another.

Suddenly, Madarame raised his arm with one finger pointed skyward. Then he lowered it so it pointed at Renji. "I think we understand one another," he said, loud enough to be heard over the shouting.

At that, the shouts dimmed down to wait for Renji's reply. "We do," he said simply.

"Tomorrow, in the 11th division training field, 5 o'clock!"

Renji nodded. At once, the jeers started up again, the normally collected 6th division members cat-calling the 11th division until they were out of sight. At that, several seated officers closed in to talk to Renji. It was then that Byakuya's presence was finally noticed.

"Ah, Taichou!" Renji said, smiling. "We've just been challenged."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. How boorish. "And you agreed to something like that?"

"I have to. I'm the captain."

"Excuse me?" Byakuya said, incredulously.

"Oops, sorry, I thought you heard what we were talking about. It's futsal. We got challenged by the 11th division. I'm the 6th division captain, and Ikkaku-san is the 11th. Would it be all right if we left the barracks during that time?"

Byakuya scoffed lightly, turning away with just a trace of annoyance. "As you wish."

"Oh, then Taichou, would you like to come along?"

Byakuya glanced at him.

"I'm sure you wouldn't want to play, but it might be fun to watch. I think we're pretty good. Plus," Renji said, in a voice that was almost conspiratorial. "It's for the honor of the 6th division."

A vein twitched in Byakuya's forehead. He was silent for a moment, and then said, "I'll think about it."

The 6th division team was indeed nothing to sniff at. Even in comparison to the brutish 11th division, which was not above "unorthodox" tactics to make a goal, they still held their own. Byakuya didn't really know much about this modern human sport, but it wasn't as boring as he thought either. Eventually, the match was decided when one of the 11th division cronies discreetly kicked Renji – who had the ball – hard in the knee. The vice captain stumbled, losing the ball to the other team. They scored, and the match was over. Byakuya's eyes narrowed.

After the players started to disperse, Renji noticed Byakuya watching among the small crowd that had gathered and waved, patting his face with a towel. He walked over, trying unsuccessfully to hide his slight limp. Byakuya's eyebrow twitched a little.

"Taichou!" Renji said, with a smile. "Thanks for coming, I didn't think you would."

Byakuya closed his eyes briefly to stave off his annoyance. "Why didn't you call foul?"

Renji blinked for a moment, and Byakuya flicked his eyes to his knee. "Oh…" Renji murmured.

"I don't think anyone else saw. Yet it may have lost you the match because of it. It's infuriating."

Renji merely laughed. "I still had fun, though. The 11th division is always like that, you get used to it. I can take it, and they weren't really trying to hurt me anyway. Plus, I don't want to be the kind of man who wins by nitpicking. We played well, but if we'd really wanted to win, we would have played so well that even cheating wouldn't make a difference." He laughed again. "Of course I say that easily, doesn't mean I know how to do it."

Byakuya held back from showing his surprise. There it was. The reason that he forgave Renji his brashness, low class and occasional mistakes. Along with his tenacious desire to improve his skills, there was always that note of honesty in the way he fought, as if winning didn't matter unless it was done a certain way. Though Byakuya had no such qualms, the fact that Renji's sense of honor exceeded that of his own in some respects truly did impress him. It was something not to be undervalued.

He sighed slightly. "It's your choice, I suppose."

"We're going out drinking after this. You're welcome to come along if you want," Renji said, though there was little hope in his eyes.

Byakuya glanced at him suspiciously. Then he looked away. "If I have the time."

Renji smiled.

Byakuya was highly irritated to see that among Renji's usual cohorts who had come to watch the match and therefore to the bar afterward, was Kira. But knowing that expressing his distaste would only reflect badly on himself, Byakuya simply partook sake on his own, not sure why he had agreed to come in the first place.

Renji was overdoing it. It took less than an hour for him to start laughing outrageously, and though he was not the only one, it still grated Byakuya's nerves. It was just another sign of Renji's poor upbringing and tastelessness.

Then at some point someone gathered together a bunch of chopsticks and suggested they play the Ousama game. Byakuya sighed. This was why he hated drinking parties. Just an excuse for childlike individuals to behave childishly in public. Having said that, he'd been downing sake consistently since they arrived and was not quite as composed as he assumed himself to be.

Not really knowing why, he agreed to play. He picked a chopstick from out of the game-inciter's fist and glanced at the number. 4.

The "king" was one of the worst persons he could have imagined. The devilish, sexy and already quite drunk Matsumoto. She giggled as she gazed around the room of expectant people, who were partly wishing and partly dreading that she would call their number.

"Well, to start with…number five has to finish his drink."

Ikkaku grinned and downed the remainder of his beer in one swig, followed by mild applause.

"Next…number two has to do an impression of his or her captain."

Iba Fukutaichou cleared his throat. Abruptly, he cupped his hands and placed them on top of his head for ears. Then he said, "Grrrrr."

This was met with raucous laughter, and though Byakuya was not quite enjoying himself, he was not as annoyed as he thought he would be.

"Now, let's get down to business. Number seven and number three…must kiss."

Byakuya rolled his eyes.

But to his shock, it was Renji who blushed and stood up, followed by an embarrassed Hisagi. Renji was chuckling as they approached one another, Hisagi just looked uncomfortable. But Renji kissed him quickly on the lips and then raced back to his seat, followed by whoops and hollers. Byakuya's hand tightened on his sake cup. Hadn't Renji promised not to do such things anymore? Or had his promise only applied to Kira?

Byakuya's foul mood hung around the whole night. As a result, no matter who became the king after that, no one had the nerve to ask Byakuya to do anything embarrassing. As the party was winding down, someone noticed that Renji was passed out on the table. Byakuya had noticed, but said nothing. Kira laughed and offered to walk him home. Byakuya's jaw muscles twitched.

Within moments, he was by Renji's side, sliding his arm over his shoulder and away from Kira. "We're going to the same place," he said, by way of excuse for his rudeness.

Kira smirked a little to himself. Then he said, "Fair enough. But of the two of us, you've had much more to drink than me. I'd better come along, just in case."

Byakuya's jaw tightened again. "Suit yourself."

The walk back to the 6th division barracks was extremely quiet and uncomfortable. Renji was mumbling things and laughing to himself, but whatever he was saying was completely inscrutable to the more sober individuals beside him. Then, abruptly, Kira started up a conversation.

"So," he said. "How did you find out about me and Abarai?"

Byakuya nearly tripped. "Excuse me?"

"Abarai mentioned that you chewed him out over being taken advantage of by me. Now, regardless of my intentions, I still think it's interesting that you knew about us at all. I didn't tell anyone. I know Abarai didn't. There's one other possibility I can think of, but I think it's unlikely that someone of your stature would engage in such…unseemly activities as spying on other people's romance."

Byakuya wanted to punch him. "You blithely call it spying. I was walking down a public street. You two were behaving like dogs in heat. It's not like I wanted anything to do with you."

Kira gave a smirk of superiority. "So you did see that time."

Byakuya ground his teeth unconsciously. "So what? I've already forgotten it."

"Hm," Kira replied, noncommittally. A few more moments of silence passed, and then he said, "Kuchiki Taichou. What exactly are you trying to do?"

"What are you talking about?" Byakuya asked, both surprised and irritated at his serious tone.

Kira glanced at the ground for a few paces before speaking again. "He's trying so hard to get over you. When you hang around him it just makes him waver, lose his nerve. Especially since you have no intention of answering his feelings, I would really appreciate it if you didn't spend time with him outside of work."

He stared at the subordinate. "What right do you have to order me around?"

"I said I would appreciate it, not that I demand it. I'm asking as his friend."

"Oh really?" Byakuya needled, sensing more to it than that. "And yet for a friend you do some very strange things. Friends don't generally sleep with friends by the way, at least not in my dictionary. And now you seem to be interfering in what is clearly his and my business alone. I don't see any of his other 'friends' interfering in his love life. And yet from start to finish, here you are. Can you tell me a friend is all you are?"

Kira stopped in his tracks and gazed defiantly at the captain. "No."

Byakuya's breath hitched. He hadn't expected that.

"I have feelings for him. I won't lie. But he's clearly not interested in me, at least not yet, so of course I won't push him. I'm still waiting for him to get over a certain tightly wound captain, and you just seem to want to make things difficult. I'm asking why you're doing that. If I were you, confessed to by someone I could never consider that way, I'd want as much space between us as possible. So what, Kuchiki Taichou, do you think you are doing here?"

Byakuya had no response for this speech, and was even more stunned by how naturally it emerged from the normally taciturn Kira's mouth. It felt like something he had been thinking for a while. And yet Byakuya had no idea what to say in return. He didn't know the answer to that question himself. Why wasn't he disgusted by Renji now? Quite the opposite, why had he started spending even more time with him than he had before?

"By the way, we're here," Kira said, his anger fading.

Byakuya looked up. Indeed they had reached the 6th division barracks. Byakuya glanced down, still not sure how to respond.

Kira's eyes darkened. "I suppose I can trust an honorable man like yourself not to take advantage of him in this state."

Byakuya's temper flared. "Watch your tongue."

"Fine. But let me say this: if you think for a moment that you can do anything other than hurt him by acting the way you are, you are badly mistaken. I, at least, can offer him some comfort. And if he's able to forget about you, I know he'll be much happier. I'm sure you agree?"

Byakuya was frozen with rage for several long seconds. Eventually he said, "Go home, Kira Fukutaichou."

Kira watched them for a time as they entered the 6th division barracks. Then he turned on his heel and left.

Byakuya took a stumbling Renji back to his room, and dumped him unceremoniously on the bed. He was about to leave when a hand caught his sleeve.

He turned to look at Renji, whose expression had gone from happy-go-lucky to quiet and forlorn. He didn't say anything or let go of Byakuya's sleeve for a few moments. Byakuya could tell he was still drunk by his glazed eyes and slow movements, but he might be starting to sober up now.

"Taichou…" he murmured, softly. Byakuya stared, but said nothing. "I…I really do love you."

Byakuya turned sharply away.

"I'm sorry. Please don't go."

The very hopelessness in Renji's voice as he said these quiet words stopped Byakuya in his tracks. His chest was aching.

"Please just stay with me a little longer. I won't say it anymore."

Byakuya turned to look at Renji in surprise. Hot tears were flowing down his face, though he neither sobbed nor sniffled. He cried silently and unabashedly, gazing with quiet desperation as he tried to stall his captain from leaving.

"Taichou…"

Byakuya slowly turned away for a moment, which was met by a very soft sob. Then he settled himself down on the bed beside Renji. His vice captain looked surprised for a moment, and then he softly turned his body toward his captain, still clutching onto his sleeve.

Kira's words echoed in Byakuya's head as he sat beside his trembling vice captain. Doing this was only weakening Renji's resolve. Slowing down his path to happiness. His only duty now was to leave and stop hanging around Renji altogether. Yet he did not move.

Gradually, he heard Renji's breath grow more even, and when he glanced down, his eyes were closed, and his grip on Byakuya's sleeve had loosened. Byakuya gazed at him for a time, wondering what this very masculine man could see in him. Byakuya was not modest, he knew he was attractive to women. But since he almost never considered homosexuality as an option at all, he had no idea what men could find attractive about other men. Was it his face? He honestly doubted that it was his personality. Although he was not modest, he was a realist and he knew that fiery individuals like Renji were not good at dealing with cool personalities like his own. He sighed, resolving to leave the issue alone, because he'd probably never know.

Renji slept like a little kid, limbs all in disarray and a small trail of drool coming out his mouth. Byakuya raised an eyebrow. But Renji's expression was troubled. He was showing that face that Byakuya had seen on him so often lately. As if he were in pain. Byakuya's chest tightened.

He took another few breaths while watching his vice captain, many things running through his mind. But at the moment, along with impaired judgment from the vast amount of sake in his system, there was a flicker of curiosity. Before he knew what he was doing, he wiped the drool from Renji's cheek with his thumb. Then his face grew closer. His lips touched his vice captain's.

A soft mouth, much larger than Hisana's. Kissing him felt passionate, rather than sweet as it had been with his late wife. He wondered what Renji kissing him back would feel like.

Slowly, he rose. Kira's words floated up in his mind again, and he flushed with shame. He left his vice captain's quarters, and hoped the alcohol would dim his memory of this night.