Disclaimer (and I'll try to spell anything right on this one!): I don't own the Twilight universe, but oh, if I did...

I'd tossed and turned the night after getting back from Seattle with Leah, the events of the day just rolling around in my head. The one I kept returning to the most was her smile. They way her whole face had lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. Ok, bad analogy; Leah definitely did not look like a child. She looked as hot as hell.

I'd finally given up and decided to relieve myself of my pent up frustration. As my hand pumped furiously up and down on my cock I imagined a much smaller, softer hand doing the work for me, gently stroking until I found my release. I'd groaned, visualizing Leah in that cute little outfit she'd been wearing for her interview.

It was three days later now and I was having a very hard time trying not to think about her. I'd done so well at hiding my attraction for Leah from the pack, although I suspected that Quil kind of knew. The guy was like a super sleuth, always knowing whatever the pack didn't want out in the open. Although, I don't think he grasped that there were feelings behind the attraction I felt towards Leah.

Now though, with the prospect of her leaving, those feelings were becoming harder to hide, let alone deny. I was trying to grapple with what exactly my feelings meant and keep them hidden, all the while trying to cover up where Leah and I had been on Wednesday, and what I'd subsequently done while thinking about her when I'd got home. It was all becoming too much; something was going to slip soon.

"You ready?" Quil called from the lounge.

"Yeah." I answered, striding into the lounge and flicking off the TV so we could leave.

"Man, I'm so hungry," he moaned, rubbing his belly as we walked down the road.

I rolled my eyes, "Don't worry, there'll be plenty of hotdogs."

"They'll probably all be gone by the time we get there," he grumbled, before looking at me inquisitively, "Why'd you have to get all dressed up anyway?" He gestured, looking down at my clothes then back up to my face with a frown.

Putting on full length jeans and a black t-shirt would be scruffy to any normal person but it was smart-casual in werewolf terms. Granted, the t-shirt probably fitted a tad more snugly over my muscles than the shirts I usually wore, and ok, I may or may not have received a decent amount of attention and comments about my ass from a handful (ok a dozen) girls when I'd worn them to the grocery store in Forks a few weeks ago, but that didn't mean I was dressing up.

"No reason," I mumbled, suddenly taking an interest in the sidewalk.

Quil snickered, "Oh yeah, I'm sure," he claimed, sarcasm lacing every syllable, "I bet it has nothing to do with a certain she-wolf, who shall, of course, remain nameless," he laughed.

I was shocked that he'd said that but I did my best to cover it up as I asked, "What the hell does this have to do with Leah?"

I could see him roll his eyes through my peripheral vision, "Oh you know, only that fact that you've been panting after her for months!"

"What?" I stopped dead in my tracks.

I had no idea that Quil had noticed that much.

Shit, how was I going to cover this up? Why, oh god why did I have to start actually fucking blushing? I could feel the heat rise even further in my cheeks as Quil started laughing.

"Don't even try and cover it man. I know you better than that. It's so fucking obvious." He was doubled over now and I was struggling to grasp what was so funny. I gave up on my innocent act, knowing it wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"Shit. How long have you known? Do the rest of the guys know? Does Leah know?" I asked in a rush, panicking wildly.

"Calm down Em. I've known for a while now. Since Leah's birthday."

Ah. I remembered that day, I remembered it well. Sue had (much to Leah's dismay) thrown a huge house party to ring in her daughters 21st three months ago. Leah had worn the tiniest black dress I've ever seen; it looked like it would fit Alice it was that short. I couldn't stop staring at her all night and apparently it hadn't gone unnoticed.

"And of course the pack doesn't know you idiot. Don't you think Seth, hell even Jake, would have spoken to you about it by now if they did? And you know Seth can't control his thoughts. If Seth knew then Leah would know."

I shuddered at the thought. Leah could definitely never, ever know about this. She'd either kill me or never speak to me again, and I'd be far more inclined to take the first option.

"Leah can't know." I stressed, hoping my tone was laced with enough of a threat.

Quil quickly put his hands up in a sign of surrender, "I know. God, what do you take me for, some kind of fucking idiot? She'd kill you."

I gulped. I suspected as much but having it confirmed didn't exactly help.

I had to walk the rest of the way to the cliffs listening to Quil singing 'Embry and Leah sitting in a tree,' while he made kissy noises in my direction. Honestly, I love the guy, he's like my brother (he might actually be my brother) but sometimes I wonder why the hell I'm friends with him. I thought imprinting would calm him down, but no, it only made him into a monk. An annoying, all too happy monk.

"Hey guys," Seth called brightly waving us over to join him on the other side of the bonfire.

The gesture was totally unnecessary, as if we'd actually sit with Sam's pack! It's not that we didn't mix with them but at official meetings, such as the council gatherings, we always sat with our respective pack members. It was more instinctual than anything else.

I sat down to the right of Seth. Leah was sandwiched in between Seth and Jake, who despite being an Alpha too, refused to sit on the chairs with the other elders, preferring to join the rest of us on the ground. That was one of the main reasons why I liked being in Jake's pack- he never acted as if he was in charge of us despite knowing that we wouldn't care if he did. Well, Leah might.

Quil threw himself down next to me and our little pack was complete. Conversation flowed easily. The good-natured banter between the packs was always present, as was Paul's temper when anyone dared say anything about him. Though whenever Rachel was around he got himself in check pretty quickly, Emily's scars a constant reminder about what could happen if any of us lost our cool.

I kind of felt sorry for Quil. Unlike Nessie, who occasionally stopped by with Jake, Quil's imprint was the only one who wasn't present at these meetings, although it did lead to fantastic jokes about it being past his bedtime. Leah, Jake and I had a running bet over how many times we could mention it before he told us to 'shut up' or 'fuck off' (I'm the reigning champion with thirty six).

"Oh, Owen's here, hang on," Seth said, leaping up from his spot- leaving a Seth sized gap between me and Leah- before making his way over to the youngest cub.

Seth, Collin and Brady had formed a close bond with the cubs, all of them being so young when they first phased. Seth quickly caught up to Owen and the pair sat down next to Quil, already heavily debating the pro's and cons of the shooter game Seth'd bought last week.

Leah leant back, making sure that Seth wasn't planning on coming back anytime soon.

"Head or feet?" she asked quickly.

Jake was too busy talking to Old Quil to notice Leah's practically silent question so I called head. With that she stretched, unfurling her body like a cat before repositioning herself in the space her brother had left behind. She settled on her back, her head resting in my lap as she reached her legs across and draped her feet in Jakes lap, instantly gaining his attention.

He took one look at her feet before staring at her face. Raising an eyebrow he asked, "Aren't you meant to call it first?"

"I did," she laughed, "You just weren't listening."

"Cheater," Jake mumbled before returning to his previous conversation.

It was normal for Leah to play the head and feet game but it was unusual to do it around me. She preferred, for whatever reason, to keep our contact to a minimum, something she wasn't really fussed about doing with the rest of the pack.

With the arrival of Owen, the hotdogs were brought out and we began cooking them over the fire. Leah didn't lift her head from my lap, even when she began eating. I was having a hard time concentrating, too busy watching the way she licked the sauce from the corner of her plump lips, and ended up burning over half my hotdogs in the process. When we were done eating Leah curled up on her side, her cheek smashed into my leg and Billy started the stories.

To be honest, Billy could have been talking about the time when aliens landed their spaceship on James Island and captured half the tribe before Superman showed up and saved them all and I wouldn't have noticed. I was trying not to look at the beautiful girl sprawled out beside me, but I was still hyperaware of her presence. Every shift, every sigh, even the tiniest movement captured my attention.

What the hell is wrong with me?

A girl should never have this much of an effect on me. It wasn't normal. But then again, I wasn't normal, and neither was Leah. Even if she'd never phased into a wolf the girl wouldn't be anywhere near normal. She was too perfect for that.

Probably about halfway through Billy's story I noticed a small movement to my left. Jacob, I saw with a flash of white hot jealousy, was tenderly rubbing Leah's feet, wedged firmly in his lap. I swallowed bile as I saw him lift her left foot to get better access. She sighed in contentment and I practically saw red.

What the fuck was he doing?

I tried to control my raging emotions by reasoning that our Alpha had an imprint. He wouldn't- couldn't- do anything with Leah- the bond was too strong, even if he actually wanted to break it, which I doubted. It was just a foot rub. A meaningless foot rub. That she was enjoying. Immensely.

I knew that the two of them shared an almost brother/sister relationship, but the key word is almost. It could have just been me but what they were doing right now looked fucking intimate.

I don't know whether it was a wolf thing or simply a male thing but I suddenly felt the need to make my presence known. To show my interest and stake my claim, two things I knew I couldn't do. Especially in front of the packs and the elders. So I settled for performing my own act of comfort.

Throwing my carefully laid plans of minimum contact aside, I gently and tentatively started stroking her hair. She'd grown it to just past her shoulders, the longest she could manage in her wolf form without her looking ridiculous.

It felt better than I'd imagined and I almost groaned at the contact. Her hair shone like black silk, and it felt like it too. So soft and thick. My fingers gently tugged through the small knots at the nape of her neck as she twisted round, casting me a puzzled look before shrugging and relaxing to my touch. I expected her to roll back over to her previous position, but her eyes stayed locked with mine, the fire creating dancing shadows across her smooth skin.

I didn't know whether to stop or not, this felt too close, too cosy and totally unfamiliar to what we'd been before. I was in completely uncharted territory, but she seemed to be enjoying it nearly as much as I was so I didn't see the harm.

At the risk of sounding like an utter ass, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. Nothing else mattered but the woman in front of me and her stunning eyes as they bore through me. Part of me hoped that she could see into the depths of them and figure out how I felt about her. The other- larger- part of me was shit scared of Leah finding out I was interested in her. It wasn't because if she wanted to she could easily kill me. It was because I couldn't stand the thought of her rejecting me.

I would understand it though. She was possibly the hottest girl on the planet- even if she didn't know it- and what was I? Just a normal guy who just so happened to be over 6ft 4" with more muscles than I could count. Other girls would find me attractive- the reaction I received when I went out in Forks was testament to that- but not to Leah, who was always surrounded by the wolves. Our looks didn't affecther in the slightest.

Someone cleared their throat nearby, causing me to snap out of my Leah induced trance. Leah's eyes shot to the direction of the sound. She looked bewildered, almost as if she'd been in some sort of freaky trance too. Had she?

I looked up, following Leah's eye line, to see Sam glaring at us from across the fire pit. Sam didn't usually intimidate me, but seeing his fierce gaze through the licking flames of the fire almost caused a shiver to roll up my spine.

"Story's over." He stated.

I looked round then, for the first time noticing everyone packing up. Half the people were already making their way down towards the road. How could I not have noticed that?

"Huh?" Leah asked, as she looked around us. She was obviously just as clueless as I had been. Jake had even managed to move her feet out of the way and get up without her realising.

Leah seemed oblivious to Sam's murderous expression, but I wasn't. I stared right back, getting increasingly angry as the seconds ticked by. Only one person could cause that expression; Leah. Sam had no fucking right to be angry or jealous, or whatever the fuck he was. Leah wasn't his. Plus it wasn't like we were doing anything. It's not like we'd been kissing or anything. Making out right in front of everyone.

I quickly shoved that thought to the back of my mind- I didn't need to explain why I was suddenly sporting a raging boner while staring tensely at Sam, that'd be awkward to say the least.

After what seemed like hours Emily appeared beside Sam, "You ready to go? Everything's packed up."

Sam quickly hopped up, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I should have helped you. You didn't lift anything too heavy did you?" He asked, concerned, as he cupped her scarred face in his hands before placing chaste kisses on her lips.

I didn't notice Emily's reply as Leah rolled her eyes before stretching out her body, her back arching up off the ground as she yawned. Her arms spread across my lap but my eyes zeroed in on her stomach. Her shirt had ridden up with her movements, exposing the tight, washboard bronzed skin of her stomach. It took all my concentration not to reach out and lightly skim my fingertips over her flesh, moving them up slowly until I cupped her perfectly formed breasts in my palms. Her eyes, which had closed during her stretching, suddenly snapped open when she relaxed, so I quickly looked away.

"C'mon, Em. We better get going," she yawned.

She heaved herself up before extending her hand to help me. Usually I'd just hop up without any aid but the opportunity to hold Leah's hand was too tempting. Christ, I needed to get over my little infatuation. I was starting to act like damn teenage girl.

But hell, her hand was soft, surprising considering she ran through the forest all day.

I instantly released her hand as soon as I was standing, not wanting to alert suspicion, especially from Leah but also the beady eyes of the pack, some still hovering around the bonfire, and I quickly made my excuses and left to make the short dark walk home before hopping into an extremely cold shower.

In the days that followed the bonfire I did my best to avoid Leah, avoiding patrol altogether on some days. My thoughts were becoming all consuming, getting worse as the hours ticked by, getting closer and closer to when Leah would find out if she got the job.

I felt like a complete ass avoiding her, especially given the fact that I was the one she could talk to about her interview, but I knew there was no way I'd be able to hide my feelings from her, or from the rest of the pack. I'd been able to suppress them for so long but I think the prospect of her leaving La Push, leaving me, fuelled my desires and fantasies to new heights.

Quil already knew what was going with me and I couldn't risk anyone else knowing. It wasn't just that Quil'd been right when he said that Seth couldn't control his thoughts. I knew both him and Jake would make a big deal out of it and blow everything out of proportion, threatening my life, and more importantly, my balls if I were to ever hurt her. Me reassuring them that I had no plans to act on my feelings wouldn't be good enough.

So I spent most of my week trying to think of excuses to get out of phasing, for once thanking the powers that be that my mom was in the dark about the wolf side of me, blaming her for my lack of patrolling, claiming that she had me on lock down.

I was a nervous wreck on Wednesday, the day Leah would find out whether she got the job. For her it would be the day she found out whether her life was going to change or not. I suppose the same could be said for me too. My life would definitely have to change if Leah wasn't in it.

I could barely concentrate on anything, the dishes my mom got me to wash after dinner that night still had flecks of spaghetti on them, though I shoved them in the overflowing cupboards regardless.

I almost dropped and smashed the glasses I was carrying when my phone buzzed to life in my pocket. I set the glasses down quickly and scrambled for my phone before it stopped ringing. The zips added to my cut off pockets were extremely useful when I phased and stopped my stuff flying all over the forest, not so much when my nerves were shot to shit and I had to get my phone out.

"Hello?" I called into the mouthpiece, not even bothering to see who it was. "Hello?"

"Embry…"

"Leah? Hey good to hear from you, girl!" I announced as if it wasn't my fault that we hadn't seen each other, hoping she wouldn't see through it.

"Embry…" she whispered, her tone sounding completely off.

"Are you ok?"

"Not really."

"What's wrong? Did you hear from them? Was it bad news? I'm so sorry."

She chuckled, but it was a bitter sound, "No, though thanks for having so much faith in me." She muttered sarcastically.

I apologised, tugging my hand through my hair, "So what's up?"

"I haven't heard from them at all," she practically wailed, "Urgh, it's all so frustrating! What does it even mean? It probably means I haven't got the job, even though the bastards told me they'd call either way. But…I can't help hoping that they just haven't decided yet. Or that they only decided right before the end of the day and didn't have a chance to call anyone. All these reasons just keep going round and round in my head and it's driving me insane. And it's not like I can talk to anyone about it because no one knows anything, and I haven't seen you in days and−"

I interrupted her rant before she passed out, "Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's ok, I guess. You've been busy and I should be able to keep my shit together by myself. But evidently I can't."

Well, didn't that just make me feel like a total jackass? She'd trusted me enough to tell me her secret and I knew it was with the hope that I'd be able to help her through it all (not that she'd ever admit that in a million years) and what had I done? I'd fucking ignored her.

"It's just all getting on top of me," she continued, her voice much softer and calmer than before, "I'd been pinning everything on finding out today and now that it hasn't happened I don't know what to do with myself. I just want it so bad," she whispered, "Have you ever wanted something that you knew was out of your reach, but you just couldn't help it?"

Why yes, Leah, yes I have!

I decided now probably wasn't the best time for me to answer that question honestly. In fact no time would be a good time, so I reassured her, "It's not out of your reach, Leah. You'd make the best damn journalist ever."

She laughed, "Thanks Embry. Hey did you maybe…want to come round?" she asked almost timidly, "I know I'm being pathetic and I get it if you don't want to listen to me ramble and moan and feel sorry for myself all evening but if I don't get it off my chest I'm going to be clawing at the walls. Literally."

"Well, for the sake of Sue's walls I'm sure I can manage to spend the evening with you." I laughed, though on the inside I knew it wouldn't be a good idea.

"Thanks, Em. I'll see you in a bit?"

I agreed then she hung up. I put away the rest of the dishes, knowing that the rest of my evening would be torture. Sweet torture, but torture none the less.

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the fantastic reviews for the last chapter. I hate asking people tell me if they want me to continue or not, but I've got so much going on blah, blah, blah!

Anyway, as you can see, I'm definitely continuing the story and I will finish it. I think the next chapter's going to be the final one, with an epilogue afterwards, but I won't know until I write it.

Also, I didn't win any awards, but one of the stories I nominated won, so I count that as a partial victory! Thanks to whoever nominated me/ voted for me though.

As always, please make my day by leaving a little review

Merry Christmas (or anything else you may be celebrating. If you're not, then happy December!).