Steve dropped his head into his hands upon hearing this revelation. The last time he had been to see Peggy was one of the hardest days of his life. And it was before SHIELD came crashing down, before he even knew how he really felt for Natasha. Then ULTRON had happened. Everyone knows how much Peggy meant to him, and even Maria can barely remain impassive with the reality of Steve's grief staring her in the face. She knows he's trying hard to hide what he's feeling, and on the surface she can see his calm, stoic demeanor. But inside his heart is breaking and his thoughts are a chaotic whirlwind. His emotions are so close to overflowing that in another part of the compound Wanda feels them like an explosion while sparring with Natasha. The spy is about to throw another punch when the younger woman drops to her knees, hands gripping her head as if she was the one in pain. Instantly, Natasha knows something is wrong and places her hand gently on Wanda's shoulder.
"Wanda, are you okay? What is it?"
"Pain, sadness, anger. Just like Pietro. The Captain in pain. I feel… feel death."
Natasha immediately bolted from the training room; remembering how Wanda described what she felt when Pietro died. She tries to hold back her emotions, knowing that Steve has already survived so much, but still has a nagging fear that something happened to him, and she doesn't want to lose him; she can't. She took off not even knowing where he was, and skidded to a stop outside the situation room when she caught a glimpse of him sitting there with Maria kneeling in front of him. Quickly turning back, she took some deep breaths to calm herself and entered, slowly approaching.
"Steve?"
Maria looked up first to see her standing there. Natasha could see a compassion behind the brunette agent's eyes that is as rare as the laughter she exhibited listening to Sam's stories. She placed a comforting hand on Natasha's shoulder before departing. The redhead was thankful for the privacy as she needed this time alone with the man she has grown to love.
"Steve, are you okay?"
Positioning herself in front of him, Natasha knelt down and did a quick search for injuries. Finding none, she realized that Steve hadn't been hurt physically, this was all emotional. After she gently placed a hand on his knee, he slowly looked up into her emerald eyes and though he tried to remain impassive; she could see right through the facade.
"Nat…,"
"Talk to me, I know something's wrong. Please tell me what happened."
As usual, Steve can't hide anything from Natasha. She reminds him daily of how terrible a liar he is. With a few calming deep breaths, he begins to speak.
"Well, I'm not injured, but you know that already. But I knew this day was coming. I just wish that I had one more chance to see her. First thing Maria told me when I got back was that Peggy died last night."
Natasha is silent for a few moments. She didn't know who the girl in the photo was when she and Steve were together at Camp Lehigh, but she did know from the way his jaw clenched, that she had been someone important to him. This even led her to do some research on his past while she was away rebuilding her covers, though at that time she was still denying how she felt about the super-soldier. Ever since she admitted to him and herself how she felt, her actions have been uncharacteristically comforting. Even this next one where she climbs up to sit on his lap, and then wraps her arms around him in a comforting embrace.
"Steve, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?"
"Knowing that you care is enough, Nat. I think I just need some time alone."
The spy knows that he's not pushing her away; they've been partners for three years and together almost four months. She could push a little harder, but she's also said the exact same thing to him before when she needed to deal with a particularly bad memory. While they are together, and the rest of the team knows, they still aren't sharing a room. But FRIDAY keeps track of the both of them, and more often than not, Natasha has woken in the middle of the night with Steve's arms around her, oddly enough it helps keep the nightmares and her demons at bay. It's the same thing she's done for him on more than one occasion.
"All right Steve. You know where to find me if you need anything."
"I know, and thanks."
The couple parted ways. Natasha went to her room to catch up on the latest mission reports, while Steve went straight to the training facility to work out his anger on the heavy punching bags. Hours passed and he trashed three in a row before heading for his own room. A workout failed to relieve his stress, and try as he might sleep also cofounded him with the same nightmare he'd never been able to shake. Natasha was still up, and not at all surprised when FRIDAY called her.
"Excuse me Agent Romanoff, but per your request I have been monitoring Captain Rogers. I feel I should inform you that his heart rate is beating four times faster than its normal rate, and his adrenaline levels are spiking. It seems he is…"
"I know FRIDAY. I'm on my way."
She quickly dashes out of her room down the hall towards Steve's. After entering the emergency code, the doors barely have time to open as she makes her way towards his bedroom. Like all the other times, he's thrashing in his sleep and she can hear his broken speech from the throes of his nightmare.
"If I wait…people gonna die. Peggy…my choice."
Knowing that she's taking a risk, Natasha still climbs into his bed, lying down next to him. Steve's convulsions from this particular nightmare always get more intense as he gets closer to the crash in the arctic. So she waits, arm propped up with her head resting in her hand. The last time she reached out to touch him during this scenario, her arm almost got broken. Inevitably, the nightmare ends as Steve bolts upright in the bed, just before the moment of the crash. Heavy breathing and blurry eyes signify his slow return to cognizance. Like always, he knows she's there, patiently waiting for him to calm down.
"It…it happened again. Didn't it Nat?"
"Same nightmare. Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah…yeah. I just…will you…"
"You don't even need to ask, you know that. Of course I'll stay. The rest of the mission reports can wait until tomorrow."
Steve made his way to the kitchen for a glass of milk while Natasha headed for the bathroom. The nightmares occurred often enough for her to have left some of her belongings in his quarters the same way he did with hers. After a shower and a quick change into her Captain America pajamas: Tony's idea of a joke because he thought it would embarrass Steve. She found him still in the kitchen with his glass.
"You really are a Boy Scout Rogers. Does a glass of milk really help you sleep at night?"
"Sometimes."
He looked up to see her smug grin, noticing her sleepwear again. The joke failed to embarrass him like Stark had hoped, and knowing that it would piss Tony off, On Natasha's suggestion Steve purchased the exact same pair for Pepper.
"Well come on then, soldier. Maybe I can find another way to help you sleep."
Steve couldn't help but smile at Natasha's not so subtle innuendo, but even then nothing really happened. She got him talking about the cause of his nightmare, about Peggy the person as opposed to Peggy the Director of SHIELD. They spent the whole night talking and when the sun started to rise, Maria called them for an update on when the funeral would be.
"So we already know when Peggy's funeral will be? Seems kind of fast."
"Director of SHIELD, an SSR Agent, a Howling Commando, she was high profile Steve. Everyone from D.C. to Paris is clamoring for this. They all want to honor her for everything she did to help stop HYDRA."
"So when will the funeral be?"
"Two weeks, Natasha. Her will stated that she wanted to be buried at home in London. The mourners are as high profile as Agent Carter herself. President Ellis, the Queen, the President of France."
"And your contact that told you all of this? Who is it?"
"Sharon. With her being Peggy's last living relative with ties to SHIELD, she was asked by her cousins to oversee the military aspect of the funeral."
Steve fell silent after that. He hadn't seen Sharon since he took her out for that coffee date. He had tried to move on, but being there he couldn't help but think about Natasha. He wasn't sure exactly how to feel about seeing her again, even if it was for Peggy's funeral. During the waiting, the Avengers had no missions other than recon, which Maria gladly took charge of. When the week of the funeral arrived, Steve spent the flight lost in his memories. Natasha was with him, providing all the support she could in his time of grief. When the plane landed, a car was waiting to take them to the hotel. Walking in the front door, the first face Steve saw was exactly who he expected.
"Steve, I'm glad you could come."
"There's nowhere I else I should be right now Sharon. How are you holding up?"
"As well as can be expected. What about you? That woman you were thinking about on our date, did you ever…?"
Sharon has to pause as Natasha walks up behind them. The sight of the redhead is a shock to her, and a small feeling of jealousy flares up. Quickly pushing it down, she hides the emotion as best as possible. She's jumping to conclusions, just because Natasha is there, doesn't mean that she is who Steve was hung up on.
"Romanoff. I didn't think you'd be coming."
"I'm a former SHIELD agent, just like you Carter. Steve asked me to come. If I'm intruding in any way…,"
"No, no it's okay. We need all the friends around us that we can get in this time of grief."
Sharon notices how Natasha's hand grips Steve's and the jealousy comes back. But before she can say anything the bellhop walks up with their bags. He has a quick conversation with the couple; handing off the keys to their room.
"I'm heading up to our room Steve. I'll see you there?"
"Yeah, be right up."
Natasha departs in the elevator, and just as Steve is about to follow her, Sharon grabs hold of his arm, gently pulling him back.
"So, you and Romanoff huh?"
"Sharon I-I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. It's just…,"
"Steve; it's okay. We can't help who we fall in love with."
"Very true. Listen, I'm going to go get settled. Maybe Nat and I will see you for dinner?"
"That would be great, but I've got a prior engagement. So another time?"
"Another time then."
Steve turns to walk away, but before he can get too far, Sharon calls him one more time.
"Hey Steve…,"
"Yeah?"
"Never-mind, If Natasha makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."
"Thanks Sharon, that means a lot. I'm glad we can be friends, and this isn't awkward."
The blonde agent offers up a soft smile for Steve as he turns away. When he is inside the elevator Sharon's thoughts are a whirlwind. She does want to him to be happy, but worries that this man she cares for is heading for heartbreak. She knows that whatever happens, she's going to be there for him. She's still lost in thought when her phone starts ringing, snapping her back into reality.
"Hello?"
"Agent Carter, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm going to keep this short. I know you've heard of the Super-Human Registration Act. As of yet, I don't know the effect it's going to have. But you're going to be needed."
"Needed for what?"
"To help the Avengers. The only thing I can tell you is that sides are going to be taken."
"How do you know this? Who are you?"
"I'm sorry; I can't answer that question right now. Help the Avengers, help Captain America."
The line went dead, and Sharon still wasn't sure who had contacted her. She had heard of the Registration Act, and the limited amount she knows about it tells her that whatever is coming could potentially be more dangerous than HYDRA inside SHIELD.
