Prologue NPOV

January 2029

I am Nessie, short for Renesmee. Cullen.

I am 23 years old. 23 very special years.

I was born as the daughter of Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen, a human mother and a vampire father. I was one of a kind, or so they thought. An unexpected gift for two people that love each other with all their hearts.

The day I was born, two important things happened. My mother almost died and in order to be saved, she was turned into a vampire as well. Her best friend Jacob Black was there, and when he saw me he imprinted on me. A wolf connection was forged, one that could not be broken, or so we thought.

He was destined to be everything I needed, and he had been that, and more.

I grew up as a human child, living with eight vampires. They were my family and they loved me dearly. I was never alone. Apart from my mom and dad, they were not my real family, biologically. Although I could say that venom wise I was a descendant from Carlisle and therefore related to mom, dad, Esme, Rose, Emmett and Carlisle. Alice and Jasper were not related to me what so ever. Maybe that is why I had once fallen for Jasper, while I could never imagine falling for Emmett, although equally good looking. Jasper never was my family, and Emmett was my uncle, venom wise.

Around that time, I fell in love several times. First there was my high school boyfriend, Josh. I was totally head over heals in love with him. My situation however was complicated. I could not tell him my family's secret, I could not bring him home, I could not tell him why me and Jake were inseparable. And when I started changing into a vampire, things got even more difficult. He got insecure.

He made a mistake. Made me chose between him and Jake. He lost. And so did I.

I thought I would never get over him, but I was young and well surrounded and got over him just fine. Now he is a nice memory, the first boy I gave everything I had, the first one I loved.

Like I said, I also fell for Jasper, but looking back I blame that on the confusing times. The tension between us disappeared, I think, and now we are close friends once again. Thank god. I don't want to be to blame if the Cullen coven should break up.

I almost forgot another important event. That summer I took a trip to Brazil and by some ancient rituals, the venom in my blood was neutralized, so I was 100% human, for the first time in my life.

Somehow in all this commotion around my seventeenth year, I overlooked important things. The most important things.

I didn't entirely overlook it, I knew he was my favorite person, and I had let him know that. I am still thankful I did, otherwise I would have another regret to add to my list.

I knew I was his favorite person as well, but with the imprint, I thought it was normal. Just how things were meant to be. He sacrificed his happiness for me.

He loved me and I didn't see it.

I loved him too. Didn't see that either.

Sure I knew I loved him in some way, like a brother. I was only just starting to discover different kinds of love. I should have known of course, one does not try to seduce ones brother when feeling low. It was wrong. I did him wrong in many ways.

And so he left. Broke the imprint and disappeared from my life.

That happened five years ago.

You only know what something means to you once it's gone, and boy is that true. He left me broken as well.

He thought I would be fine. After all he was just a brother to me, a good friend.

If only I had seen sooner.

I try to live without regrets, but when you manage to lose the one thing that matters, it's hard not to regret.

I still believe things will never be right again.

But like he had told me to do in his farewell letter, I will live life to the fullest. As full as I can manage with my broken heart that is.

That year I went to Dartmouth. English literature. I always had been passionate about literature and found it easy to focus all my attention on my studies. This was also Jasper's subject, but having him near to me that year would not have been the best choice. I was a rebound girl who had a weakness for this hot vampire. It would have gone wrong.

Edward and Bella joined me instead. After a year, all Cullens moved to Kansas as well. They didn't sell the house in Forks. One day I want to go back to the town I grew up in. There is nothing left for me there now, except for the wolves that still live in LaPush. I wonder how they are all doing. And of course I wonder if any of them know where he is.

The years in college have not been that bad.

I met Tina at my students dorm, and the second year we became roomies. Now, four years later, she is my best friend.

I never had a girl for a best friend, always got along best with Jake and Jasper and Emmett. The girls in the family always treated me more like a baby to pamper. Even now, Alice can't stop buying clothes for me. I have like four mother figures. Well, three and one sister, I consider Alice more of a sister. It is a bit weird now that they stay young and beautiful, while I age. Although they keep telling me I am still the most beautiful one of them all. Of course they say that, being good mother figures.

My hair is blond now, it suits my lifestyle better.

After studying like crazy the first two years of college, Tina dragged me into the world again. I had told her all about Jake. All except the wolf stuff that is. She knew I had had a best friend that I grew up with, slightly older, and that we were everything for each other. She knew I had hurt him and that he left, and that I only discovered afterwards how much we really loved each other. She found my tragic love story beautiful, but he was gone, and I had to move on. She would not let me sulk in my room, she picked me up and showed me how students can have the best of times, even without boyfriends.

Tina is eccentric, I never knew why she picked me to be her friend, but she did.

We partied till we dropped. We went to movies and theaters. She finally made me realize the pleasures of shopping, something Alice was thankful for. We laughed for hours in a row, high on sugar in our room, and kept laughing when we were sick on the floor. We hooked up with boys and forgot all about them again in the morning. We were some pair. Still are.

Somehow I managed to do all those things without letting my grades drop. The Cullens were a bit worried about our wild behavior, but they wanted me to live a human life and this is what human students do. I think they were also glad that the crying had finally stopped.

Last year we graduated and now we were sort of in between. We planned on renting a two bedroom apartment, it would give us some more privacy with our escapades. But we haven't decided where we would live and look for jobs. All we knew is that we would stick together. We came as a pair.

I wondered sometimes what would come of me, if she would fall in love with a boy, and move out. I think I would move back with the Cullens. I have never learned to be by myself, and I think I never will. I just can't be alone.

Right now the chances of her falling in love were hardly existing, we were wild and free and she was happy that way. I wasn't happy of course. But free nevertheless.

I had said I would give love another chance if it came along, but I am not really paying attention. The boys I've slept with, there have not been that many, only reminded me of what I had lost. I never called them back and I never gave them my number. If they showed up at my door I told them I was actually a lesbian. Tina thought that was hilarious and she played along, throwing her arm around me and giving the boy a good show.

Tina was actually the wild one, I was just the girl that followed her around, enjoying the light that she cast on her surroundings. Like I once needed my personal sun, I needed her light now. It was no sunlight, it was more of a colorful disco light.

She cared for me. So I followed gladly.

The Cullens were contemplating moving back to Washington. The weather had been perfect for them there, and so had the wildlife. They would not move to Forks, but somewhere around the Olympic National Park, closer to the mountains. I wanted them nearby. They were my family and I have learned to never take anything for granted. Maybe me and Tina would move to Washington as well. We had been surfing for jobs near Seattle.

I still think about Jake, of course.

Not always in an active way, he is just always there.

Somehow the life I live now seems like a dream to me. Reckless and careless, crazy, but also beautiful.

Still a dream.

The one thing that is real is him.

I think somehow I am still waiting for him. But he wouldn't know how to find me if he would change his mind. The house in Forks is empty.

And I knew of course that he would not change his mind. If he wanted me to contact him once I realized I loved him, he would have given me some sort of way to reach him.

He didn't.

And I will not look for him to disrupt the life that he may have build.

I just wish I could know if he was happy at least.

AN: And what do you think about Nessie's story? And about this Tina girl?