Chapter Two

I step inside, trying to look as though I've been here before, which I have many times...only in another universe. Looking around, I notice that the room has the similar basic layout, but everything is harsher and more austere, with weapons and military statues orderly situated on the walls and shelves. The biggest difference, however, is the color of the entire place. For some reason, this Spock has a thing for green. Well, it's ugly, and I don't like it one bit.

Trying to hide my distaste, I turn towards the centre of the room. I assume he's already contacted Starfleet, but he's still just sitting at his computer console, apparently hard at work on something. I stand there for what seems like an eternity, but he refuses to even acknowledge my presence. Looking down, I notice that my PADD is shaking, as is my hand, as is virtually my entire body.

Soon, I realize that I have to say something, or else I'm going to shake to pieces. "Sir? I'm sorry I'm late. I was just..."

I fall into silence as he finally looks up at me, his long eyebrows narrowing slightly. "I thirst," he says.

"Yes, sir." I look around his quarters in a state of near-panic. It's possible that my counterpart in this universe has been here before and knows exactly where things are. But I myself can only guess. Thankfully, I glimpse a jug on a table towards the back of the room. Walking up to it, I let out a small sigh of relief when I discover that the jug is self-refrigerating and is already filled with water. A couple of finely decorated goblets are laid out beside it.

As I pour the cool, clear liquid into a goblet, it occurs to me how strange it feels to be doing this. On my own Enterprise, no commander would expect an officer at my level to serve him drinks. After all, I'm no yeoman, but the senior communications officer on the flagship of the Federation. Maybe this Enterprise operates through a seniority-based system run amuck, in which crewmembers are expected to follow even the slightest whims of their superior officers.

I grip the goblet with two shaking hands and place it on his desk, directly in front of him. "Here you go, sir."

But when he looks up at me again, his eyebrows have narrowed even further. "What game are you playing?" he demands.

Huh? "Game, sir?"

"That is now four."

"Sir, I don't underst..."

"Five. Five times now that you have addressed me as "sir" since you walked through that door. Is this how things are between us, now?"

I shake my head. Why would he object to me treating him with the proper respect? Desperation welling up inside, I try to focus on why I'm here. "You said you wanted to go over the subspace log?"

"And now you are playing me for a fool," he says, as he rises from his seat and slowly approaches me. Soon, my back is against a wall, and his face is only an inch away.

"Have you already moved on to another officer, then?" he says forcefully. "Perhaps one with a little more...ambition?"

My head starts to swim in a sea of confusion and fear. What was the hell is he talking about?

He grasps my bare upper arm in a vise-like grip. Even through my panic, I become shocked at the feel of his touch. The other Spock has touched me before, but never skin-to-skin. I had no idea he was so warm. I glance at the doors across the room, but inwardly I know that there is no escape. Not on this ship. Realizing I'm completely at his mercy, tears begin to flow unbidden from my eyes. Damn, I'm so scared. Why can't I be strong...like the Captain?

"I'm sorry, please don't..."

"What is this?" he says, studying my face like it's some kind of lab experiment. I flinch as his one of his fingers caresses my cheek.

"You are crying," he states, shaking his head as he rolls the wetness between his fingers. "Lieutenant, I chose you because of your strength of will, because I believed that unlike the other simpering females on this vessel, you refused to fall prey to such emotions. Was I mistaken?"

"No...I..."

"Then explain this," he says, holding a moisture-laden fingertip to my face. I try to ignore it as I clear my mind, searching for anything that will get me out of this mess. Wait a minute. What did he say just now? 'I chose you...?' And then before that? 'Moved on to...another...?'

I gasp as it hits me like a thunderbolt. They...we...are?

Oh my God.

His face casts itself into a perplexed gaze, as he begins to stroke his beard. "Such strange behavior today. First the Captain. Now you."

Shit. He's trying to connect the dots. The circumstances that transferred us to this universe are so incredible, he'll probably never figure it out on his own. But we all beamed up to this ship together. There's a connection there. And through that connection, he could latch on to other possibilities that could lead to equally devastating results for all of us.

I can't afford to wallow in shock right now. If we're going to survive this, I have to not only look like my other self, I have to act like her, to become her. But how? I mean, I don't even know her. Or do I? By all indications thus far, she must be a pretty tough cookie. So, gathering whatever courage I have, I begin by shrugging off his grip.

"You want to know what's wrong?" I spout off with a confidence that's almost completely feigned. "I guess every woman has a breaking point."

His eyebrow raises. "So, you indeed want nothing more to do with the complacent, dutiful scientist you see before you."

"No...I..." Inwardly, I cringe. I didn't mean to insult him.

"What if I killed the Captain, then? Took his place. Would that appease you?"

I try to stifle a gasp. Kill the...? No.

"You believe me to be a mere amateur like the unfortunate Mr. Chekov?" he continues. "Indeed, James T. Kirk is a formidable opponent. But I assure you, where the young ensign failed, I could succeed."

"But I thought you two were friends." My heart stops as I realize I may have just made a fatal mistake. For all I know, they're mortal enemies in this universe.

"I have no friends," he replies.

I sigh softly in relief. By the way he's refusing to meet my eyes, I can tell he's just as bad a liar as my Spock is. Still, I'd better change the subject, because I think the Captain's had enough people try to kill him today.

"Look, maybe I just want to know why you had to humiliate me in front of the entire bridge."

For a moment, he looks hesitant. "I required an...excuse to talk to you." But quickly recovering, he snatches my PADD out of my hands and shoves it in front of my face. "And I would have you know that the reprimand was not undeserved; once again, there were errors." He frowns slightly to himself before returning his gaze to me. "And why did it take so long for you to establish a connection to Starfleet?"

Uh oh. I've got zero comebacks for that one, at least not if I want to carry on this little charade. So once more, I decide to change the subject. "Well...why did you need an excuse?" I counter. "Are you ashamed of just...being with me?"

"Negative. How many times have I told you? My enemies on this ship are legion. If they were to find out about us, they would not hesitate in using you to get to me. Even with the men I have at my disposal, I would not be able to guarantee your safety."

So he doesn't want anyone to know about us, huh? Well, I don't dare break it to him, but it seems obvious now that Marla does, probably because my counterpart told her. Not that I'm too surprised. There are some things that girlfriends can't keep hidden from one other.

"Well, if you're so big on keeping us a secret, why didn't you just tell me to come in private?" I ask him.

"And then what?" he says, throwing my PADD on his desk. "Have someone witness you entering my room in the middle of the day for no logical reason? We have taken too many chances, already. Almost nothing is private on this ship - perhaps not even these quarters." He takes an unsettled glance around the room. "I have run every conceivable test to ensure they are impervious to surveillance. But sometimes...I wonder."

Suddenly, his eyes tear into mine. "Has Sulu been bothering you again?"

"Well, he..."

"He has, hasn't he," he says, nodding grimly. "Though I do not believe he knows about us yet, it may only be a matter of time." A dark rage encompasses his face as he slowly begins to shake his head. "But truly, I do not care how much power he professes to wield on this ship, if he ever so much as harms a hair on your head, I will..."

Clenching his fists, he closes his eyes and begins to breathe deeply, as though he is concentrating, trying to restrain his darkest impulses. For all his talk about not falling prey to emotions, it seems that he's having trouble taking his own advice. Before this moment, I could not even imagine Spock, or any version of him, acting this way while in his right mind. Is this how Vulcans are in this universe...or is it the way he is around me?

I think about how scared I felt when Sulu accosted me on the bridge, and then I remember what DeSalle did to Marla. God knows how many other monsters are out there lurking around the corridors ready to do unspeakable things to me. I know that this Spock is a monster too, but for some reason I'm beginning to feel safer here, with him, than perhaps anywhere else on this ship.

I begin to fidget. This is getting awkward. He's still standing there, breathing slowly and steadily, almost in a meditative trance. I think about my counterpart in this universe. Would she just stand here while he was like this? No. She would go to him. Therefore, I have to go to him. A little voice inside is accusing me of wanting to go to him, but I know that's just nonsense.

Isn't it?

Gingerly, I walk across the room towards where he is standing, feeling like I'm walking towards a ticking plasma grenade. When I get there, I realize that I don't know what to do. I'm directly in front of him, but it's like he's not even noticing me.

Thinking I must be crazy, I decide to put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about Sulu. I can take care of myself."

If I can get through this, I might almost believe it's true.

Suddenly, a strong hand seizes my wrist. As he opens his eyes, a familiar half-smile crosses his face, a smile that never fails to bring me to my knees. "I do not doubt it," he says, pulling me into him with his alien strength, almost totally encompassing my body with his. The glimpse of warmth I felt before is now flowing through me in its entirety. We stand together in silence for a long while, my head pressed against his chest, listening to the sound of his Vulcan heart.

"Your body cools me, Lieutenant," he says.

Oh Lordy, and I'm heating up.

From my vantage point, I can see the sofa, in the place where it usually is. So much is different in these quarters, but the sofa is the same. During our music lessons, that's where I sit while he takes the chair, always placing it 1.2 meters away from me. For how many hours have I spent sitting beside him, always wanting to be closer to him? Sometimes it's been like torture.

But now I am closer to him. Yes, I know this is a different man, a brutal man, but this is how it's always been in my dreams.

Just like this.

"This is impossible," he says suddenly.

"What is?"

"Those weeks ago, when you agreed to...fill my need. That should have been the end of it."

My heart skips a beat. Fill his need? Does he mean...?

"My species is required to mate once every seven years. You served me ably for that purpose."

Yes, he does mean. I can feel something inside me begin to tingle.

"But since that night, I have found that I cannot stop thinking of you. I did not bond with you, but still I cannot stop thinking of you. Why?"

Right now, I don't know or care. My only answer is to tighten my grip.

"Nyota," he whispers as his hands begin to lose themselves in my hair.

Oh God, my name. Although I once told him he could use it, my Spock never has, as if its mere utterance would drive him one step too close to me. But why can't he take that step? Because he is my superior officer? No, that is too easy an answer. Because he feels nothing for me? No, there is an undeniable connection that exists between us. Because he has forgone all intimate relationships? No, there are rumors that he indulges in the occasional liaison. How I have always envied those women, envied that they got to experience something that I could only dream of.

Until now.

"No. It is too dangerous."

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking up at him.

"To be here, like this. With you."

"We're safe here."

"Perhaps. But it is not that. It is dangerous to me. I do not know what I am allowing myself to become. Every minute of every day, I find myself thinking of you, about how much I want to be with you. I know these thoughts are not worthy of me...of my father...of my people...but still I cannot stop. It makes me angry that I cannot stop." He shakes his head. "I must end this."

As his arms begin to loosen their hold on me, I find myself looking over to the couch once more. I find myself feeling the same thing I experience all too often, the hurt of him shutting himself off from me.

"No." I grasp in vain at his shoulders, but unyielding hands grab my wrists.

"Yes. Leave me. That is an order."

I bite back my tears. It isn't fair. I was so damn close, and now it's going to be taken away from me.

I can't let that happen. I have to try to persuade him. No, that won't work. I know it won't. But if I can't persuade him, then I have to attack him. What's more, I find that I want to attack him, to let out all the frustration that's been two years in the making.

"Fine," I yell, pushing him away from me. "Fine, I'll leave. But before I do, let's get one thing straight. Do you know why you don't want anyone to know about us? It's not because you can't protect me, it's because you're too afraid to protect me, to fight for me. You talk tough about killing the Captain? Well, I bet you don't even have the guts to kill that chicken-shit doctor."

He gives me a stone-cold glare and I let loose a self-satisfied smirk. Is there any universe where those two aren't at each other's throats?

"You're scared of him, aren't you?" I continue. "Him, the Captain, Sulu...all the rest." I give a loud humph. "And come to think of it? I don't know why I was ever interested in a coward like you in the first place."

I dive straight towards him, wagging my finger. "And the next time you want to come begging to get your lok serviced. And don't kid yourself, there will be a next time. Don't even bother." Pulling my agonizer from my belt, I wave it mockingly at him. "I'd rather you use this on me, instead." Throwing it at his feet, I spin around, my arms crossed in front of me.

There is a protracted silence, and I start to think that I've gotten a little too good at this charade. But just as I'm about to turn my head to see what he's up to, a powerful hand grips my shoulder, while the other holds my agonizer in front of my face.

"It is a dangerous game you play," a dark voice whispers into my ear as he places the device onto my upper chest.

I stop breathing. Yep, a little too good at this.

My heart going wild, I close my eyes and wait for the pain to strike, a pain I can only imagine. But he doesn't turn the agonizer on. Instead, he slowly begins to stroke me with it, the device nestled deep within his palm. For the next minute or so, he keeps stroking, leaving me to experience something that can only be described as exquisite torment.

"Although I believe you could benefit from a little discipline," he says in low voice, "I am willing to be lenient. Therefore, I will give you a choice. Do you wish for me to stop?"

"I...I..." I want to say yes, but though the agonizer's hardness frightens me, it pales in comparison to the warm softness of the hand that surrounds it.

"I may decide to turn it on, Lieutenant. You had better tell me." His hot breath is like a furnace, as he begins to slide the agonizer downwards into the opening of my halter top.

"Tell me to stop," he demands, as his hand goes deeper.

"No," I moan.

"Tell me."

"No!"

But he stops anyway. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me backward, bracing me against him. "I have decided that I will overlook your insubordination," he says softly into my ear, as he once more shows me the agonizer, "on the condition that you will be more careful with this in the future."

Panting, I can only nod, as he reaches into the inside of my belt and tucks the device back into its small pocket.

Then suddenly, he spins me around to face him. "You say I do not have the strength to leave you. So be it. I accept your judgment." His predatory eyes dig deeper. "But your bravado does not deceive me." Then those eyes begin to slowly look me up and down, stopping to linger on my bare stomach and barely covered chest. "I know not the cause, but today I see a new...softness within you. And somehow...I find that it makes you all the more desirable."

I feel my cheeks flush as I realize that it's me he wants now. Not her. Me.

Finding it impossible to meet his smouldering gaze, I look down to my feet, but he cups my chin and gently forces my eyes to meet his. Then, without warning, his mouth descends. Soon, that motion is followed by his hands, as they begin to explore the contours of my back. A fire runs through my body as he begins to slide his hands down...down to my waist...down further to my...oh yes. A quiet moan escapes my mouth as strong fingers firmly grasp me there and lift me up, bringing me face to face with him. Immediately, his tongue begins to devour my mouth with renewed vigor.

Already overwhelmed, all I can do is hang on, my arms draped around his shoulders, my legs wrapped around his waist.

"Lieutenant," he says, after a time, "I find this...adequate. But I require more."

More?

"Yes, Spock."

"No," he growls. "Call me 'sir'. I have decided that I prefer it."

Whatever.

"Yes, sir."

He carefully releases his hands from my bottom and I slowly slide down against his body. Despite his command, he stands stalk still, refusing to completely relinquish his hold on me. It seems that I'm the one who's going to have to take charge of the situation.

Well, fine by me. I look around his quarters. His bedroom? There is nowhere else. As gently as I can, I reach behind and unclasp his arms.

Then, holding his hand in mine, I lead him to his bed.

To Be Continued...

...

Vulcan language lesson: lok = yep, you guessed it