Dear Diary
I know I said I would write soon but time got away from me again. Things have been crazy lately. I can't help but think misery and destruction follow me. It seems everything I touch breaks.
I tried to look at the positive. I tried to stay optimistic. I really did. Apparently I even failed at trying not to fail. Imagine that.
Remember how I told you I secretly ached for the touch of someone loving? I know who I meant, but that is even more pain I'm not sure I'm ready for. There is no way I can feel them. Have them comfort me. Have them hold me and say everything will be alright. I'm not even sure if she knows I exist. Isn't that pathetic?
The nothingness is crashing down on me. I can feel the pressure of the emptiness. It's coming for me. It wants me to give in and except my fate. Is it my fate? Why must I be this? Is there any way for changing my destiny? Can people change?
I want nothing more to be able to go up to her and tell her I need her, but we are not even friends. I guess maybe I will try to be her friend? First step in changing is trying something different, right? So that's it, I will try to change. Screw destiny. I will decide my own future!