A/N: Yes, the author is alive!!! I got stuck doing something for my school and am only now, right before school starts back, getting to a place where I can write. But enough of that. I really am going to write at least twice a month during school. Sorry that I take so long to update!
ZXCVBNM
"Dude, we are so late!" Allie struggled to wheel her massive suitcase over the metal threshold which separated the outside from the inside of the airport.
"I blame Kaylin." Hannah gave Allie's suitcase a nudge and then yanked her own over the threshold. "Gaah. Why do they put these things here? I think it's a scheme. The security guys film girls struggling with their suitcases and then laugh at their weakness."
"Look! Look! TWINS!" Kaylin sighed as she stared at them. The girls stopped and stared along with Kaylin, but the twins moved out of sight through the check in gate. "Oh well. They were cute." Kaylin paused and stood staring, probably hoping to catch another sight of the gorgeous boy twins. When they didn't reappear, she sighed. "So where do we go?"
Allie rolled her eyes, "People are going to think you've never set foot in the airport before, and you've been to this one at least twenty times."
"Kaylin, what were the twin boys doing?" Hannah patiently replied.
Kaylin gave her a blank stare and grinned. "Being gorgeous."
Hannah sighed. "I didn't ask how they looked. I asked what they were doing."
"Checking in at the. . .oh. . .I knew that."
"It's no wonder we got lost getting here with her driving." Allie giggled and poked Kaylin on the shoulder.
"I was not lost. You were the navigator. YOU forgot to tell me there was an exit. Besides, I knew exactly where I was. I was making sure you knew, and you obviously didn't."
"Yeah, whatever…"
"I hate to break up this conversation, but we're running really late. Can we please go check in?" Hannah sighed tiredly and pushed her friends toward the check in gate.
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"I hate lines like this," Hannah grouched, staring at the line in front of her. It must have been a hundred feet long.
"I know, it's taking forever to move!" Kaylin agreed, peeking around the shoulders of the guy in front of her to see the front of the line. She spotted the holdup and muttered, "Well there's your problem."
"What?" Allie asked.
"Some goth girl up at the front has to take out all of her body piercings," Kaylin muttered.
"Ew, gross! That is so disgusting!" Allie squealed.
"Yeah, who wants to pull a piece of metal out of their belly button? Or their lip? Or their eyebrow? Or their—"
"Can you stop that? Not all of us have a stomach of iron," Hannah pointed out. "I don't want to know everything that girl is pulling out of her body."
"Point taken." Kaylin sighed and plunked down on top of her bag, waiting on the line to move.
Twenty minutes later, they finally reached the metal detector. The girls loaded their backpacks, purses, loose change, shoes, laptops and anything which could conceivably set the darn thing off onto the X-ray machine and stepped through the metal detector. Hannah and Kaylin made it through without a glitch. Allie, however, was a different story.
As she walked through the metal detector, it gave a shrill beep. Irked, Allie backed up to try again, with no luck. The machine emitted another shrill beep, at which point the security guard standing in front of Allie waved her over to an x taped on the floor. Allie mentally went over what she had on her person which could set off the metal detector. She'd taken all of her change out of her pockets before she went through. She had never had a joint replaced, and she had no body piercings. That left her clothes. The machine wasn't sensitive enough to go off over the button on her shirt or jeans or the snap on her bra. Her shoes had also gone through the x ray machine, which left…
As soon as Allie realized the problem, so did the guard wielding the metal detector wand. Allie stood on her X, cheeks a brilliant crimson, as the guard waved the wand over her butt. It emitted a shrill beep, and as Kaylin and Hannah looked on in glee, the guard loudly spoke into her radio "Yeah, Fred, this is Mina. We got a case of metal underwear here, where do you want me to send her?"
Fred's voice came back through the radio a few seconds later. "Check her there, we're full."
Mina looked at Allie, face straight, as though she did this sort of thing on a daily basis. With the quacks that go through airport security, thought Allie, that wasn't an unlikely possibility. "You heard the man." Mina said flatly.
Allie's face turned an even deeper shade of crimson as she reached for the safety pin that held her thong together. She yanked it above the waistband on her jeans and showed it to Mina, who waved the wand over it once. When it beeped again, Mina handed Allie all her things from the x-ray machine and waved her away.
Allie, fuming, stormed to the corner where Kaylin and Hannah were laughing hysterically and began putting on her shoes. "Dude! I can't believe I set off the metal detector because of my underwear! Don't you dare tell anyone. And I mean anyone!" Allie said as they waited on her to tie her shoes.
"Don't worry. I got pictures, so we won't have to tell anyone." Kaylin said proudly holding up her phone. "Camera phones come in handy sometimes."
"Now who do we send them to, Hannah?"
"Josh, George, Harry, Ben, Michael, Chris, Jacob, Andr-" Allie cut Hannah short as she practically leapt, or tried to, over Hannah to get to Kaylin's phone.
"I swear if you don't delete that picture I will. . ."
Allie glared at Hannah and Kaylin, who were laughing hysterically, wondering just what on earth she had missed. In between gasps, Hannah choked out, "Kaylin doesn't have a camera phone, idiot!"
"Oh yeah, I knew that…" Allie grinned sheepishly at her cousins.
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The three tried to make it to the airplane with the least amount of embarrassment possible, which was quite difficult considering every few feet someone would recognize Allie as the Girl with the Metal Thong who had Held Up the Line. Hannah and Kaylin just laughed of course, which made Allie even more annoyed. It wasn't her fault that the only pair of underwear she hadn't packed was a thong that had to be held together with a safety pin!
Actually, that wasn't the truth, all things considered. If she joined the annual Victoria's Secret shopping spree like the rest of the girls at her college, she would have a lot more nice underwear and a lot less that had to be held together with safety pins.
While the girls waited at the gate for their plane to land, Hannah ran to get some Starbucks for Allie and herself. Allie drank a Caramel Macchiato with lots of whipped cream. Hannah, who had already filled her daily coffee quota, partook of a hot chocolate instead.
When she returned, she found Kaylin and Allie giggling furiously at a man who was asleep in the chair next to Allie. His head was leaned on her shoulder, and he was snoring very loudly.
"When did he get here?" Hannah asked in a loud whisper. "I don't remember seeing him when I left."
Allie slowly stopped giggling enough to squeak out, "He came right after you left. And then he just…" She was giggling too hard to continue. Allie was not having a good day, and having a stranger fall asleep on her and breathe all over her was not making it any better! And his breath smelled like onions!
Because Kaylin and Allie were giggling too much to be of any further use, Hannah cleared her throat loudly and tapped the man on the shoulder. He kept on snoring. She tapped him again. He mumbled something in his sleep but, unfortunately, did not wake up. Hannah, out of options, shook the poor man awake and stared at him as if to say, "Yo, you're in my seat." He got up and left, cheeks a brilliant red.
When the girls finally found their seats on the plane, a very frustrated Allie exclaimed, "Dude, you're in my window seat! Move over!"
"Dude, no, dude, I was here first, dude, so why don't you just seat in the aisle seat, dude, okay, dude?" Kaylin shot back.
"What the heck are you talking about?"
"You say 'dude' WAY too much, Allie."
"No I don't!" Allie exclaimed indignantly. "I hardly say it at all! I don't know what you guys are talking about."
"Whatever, you could at least call us dudette cuz dude is for guys and we are definitely not guys, especially because we, or at least you, wear thongs," Hannah said rolling her eyes.
"Men can wear thongs." Allie pointed out.
"Only gay ones wear thongs, and then they're girly enough to be called girls. So back to the original point—only girls wear thongs."
"Ya know what?" Kaylin asked.
"What?" Hannah said, exasperation heavy in her voice.
"If anyone listened to us they would think we hate each other and are drunk."
"But that's the fun part!" Allie chimed in. "Hey. I think that Kaylin would be a very happy drunk. And I bet she can't hold her liquor at all, either."
Kaylin looked appalled, but Hannah laughed. "I think I'd be a really happy drunk, too.
"I think I'd either be a crazy, wild drunk or a really emotional drunk," Allie considered, deep in thought over where they could obtain the highly illegal beer. There were only two more months until she was legal…
"We should experiment sometime!" Hannah exclaimed.
"No we should NOT!" Kaylin cried. "We will not go get drunk just to see what we are like when we are drunk. We wouldn't remember anyways!"
"But I'm sure someone could take pictures of us with Kaylin's fake camera phone so we could see ourselves," Hannah grinned. Allie glared at her, then settled back into the chair and closed her eyes. It had been an incredibly long day. At least it was almost over…
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"Finally!" Allie exclaimed as the trio dragged their suitcases into Hannah's (tiny) room. When standing, one could place one's back on Hannah's bed, her feet on one wall and her hands on the other. There really wasn't enough room for one person, let alone three.
Which explained why Hannah owned a bunk bed.
It was nice, really. As kids the girls would climb onto the top bunk and drape blankets over the sides until they created a nice dark fort in which to play Barbies. They would steal Hannah's dad's work light to light the inside of the fort, until the day they left it on for long enough for it to melt the polyester blanket. From then on, they were banned from using the light.
"Dibs!" Allie cried, flinging her purse and carry-on bag onto the top bunk and then flinging herself onto it.
"Dibs on the other!" Kaylin yelled diving for the bottom bunk, landing, and sprawling over it.
"How is this fair?" Hannah asked as she put her hands on her hips, "This is my room. Therefore, I should get a bed."
"Well ya see Banana, that's not quite right," Kaylin replied, "Either way you look at it you end up on the floor. The first way is calling rights, and you obviously lost that fair and square. Of course, on the other hand, we are the guests so we should be accommodated to the best of your abilities, and we are with the present arrangements."
Hannah rolled her eyes, "Ok, you two really do not count as guests. You're over here too much to be guests. You're more like family who's only here half the time."
"Aw, that's so sweet," Allie smiled. "But you are still not getting this bed, no matter what you say. Besides, you had it last time. We have to rotate."
"Rotate, my butt! The two of you were both on the bunk last time. So one of you should be on the floor!"
"I can't sleep on the floor because it'll mess up my neck and my back," Kaylin insisted.
Allie snorted. "It will not. You'll be fine for a couple days. It won't kill you."
"Well, then you guys'll feel pretty bad at my funeral when I don't leave you anything in my will," Kaylin said indignantly.
"I've already got dibs on your CDs, dude. You can't renege on that!"
"And why not? It's my will! I'll leave my stuff to whoever I want!"
"Well, then you're not getting any of my stuff either!"
As Allie and Kaylin continued to bicker over who would be left what in each other's wills, Hannah inconspicuously sneaked Allie's stuff off the top bunk and climbed up to claim it for herself.
"Ha!" She loudly announced, plopping back and covering up with the folded blanket at the bottom of the bed. "I win."
Allie's little sister, Callie, who was seven, came into the room with a naked Barbie in one hand and a cup of apple juice in the other. The girls ignored her and began to unpack their suitcases into Hannah's huge chest of drawers.
As Kaylin pulled a bra from her suitcase and flung it across the room to the pile of clothes the girls were taking into the woods, Callie giggled. "You have big boobies!" The little girl giggled again, trying the bra on for size.
Kaylin, blushing, tried to snatch the bra away, but to no avail. She grinned maliciously, then pointed to Hannah. "Hers are bigger than mine, You should go steal her bras."
"Okay," the little girl said happily, going over to Hannah's suitcase. "Can I have that purple one please?"
"Umm. . .how bout you go see if dinner is ready, instead?"
Callie frowned. "No way. I want to see your bra! Kaylin says your boobies are bigger."
"What is it with us and boobs today? First the conversation at IHOP and now this!" Hannah groaned, looking at Allie for support.
Allie took pity on Hannah, "Scram sis. We're trying to unpack." She said flatly, pointing toward the door.
"Fine! But I'm telling Mommy!" Callie stormed out of the room, still wearing Kaylin's bra.
"Great. Now your uncles get to see my underwear." Kaylin mumbled, frowning at the floor. "I can't believe she actually tried it on."
"She is my sister."
"Yeah, what's up with her and boobs anyways?"
"My mom just got a boob job, and Callie is obsessed with them now. She can't wait until she gets a bra."
"Heather didn't have to wear one until this year. She just turned thirteen." Kaylin giggled, thinking of her own sister who was somewhere in the house, probably watching all the little kids.
It was at this point that the girls realized that Hannah had moved Allie away from her bed.
"Dude, that's not fair! I was there first!" Allie whined. "And I got my sister to leave your underwear alone!"
"Yeah, whatever. I still claim this bed." Hannah grinned maliciously and reclined on her pillow. It felt so good to be back in her bed.
"No way, man. I was there first. I'm claiming that bed back or else."
"Oh yeah? Or else what?"
"I'll call Callie back in here and give her all of your bras!" Allie laughed evilly.
"Hey, you know what I just remembered?" Hannah asked, winking at the girls.
"What?"
"I have an air mattress. I don't have to sleep on the floor."
"Good for you. I'm still sleeping on your bed." Kaylin said, claiming the bottom bunk once again.
"Yep. Me too." Allie grinned. "Now move my stuff back."
"Enjoy it while you can. It's cold in the woods and we aren't allowed to take anything modern." Hannah grinned.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Kaylin mumbled. "I still wish we could take a laptop, though."
"Kaylin, what would you do with a laptop in the middle of the woods?"
"Read fanfiction." Kaylin said simply. "There are so many stories I've fallen behind on because of those stupid finals. I can't wait to get back on them."
"Kaylin, the closest internet hub is going to be four miles away!"
"But… it's wireless internet." Kaylin was beginning to realize that her dreams of reading fanfiction in the middle of the woods in ten degree weather were crushed.
Allie and Hannah just laughed. "Oh, bless the poor simpleton, for she doth not know the workings of the internet." Hannah said sadly, winking at her cousin. "It will all be okay. After we get out of the woods we'll be able to read all the fanfiction we can handle."
"Yay!" Kaylin cried in joy.
Heather, Kaylin's younger sister, came into the room with about twelve other kids following behind her. "It's time for that stupid family portrait." She grumbled, then turned and left without another word.
"Here's to another Christmas!" Allie grinned and donned the Santa hat she had been given when she walked into the house.
"Another Christmas." Hannah and Kaylin chorused.
A/N: So it took me another three weeks to finish writing this after I started. It usually takes me about three days. But I'm starting to get some semblance of a schedule going, between work and theatre and dance and more work and now volunteering. I don't promise an update every week, like I've done in the past, but I do promise one at least every two weeks or else I give you all permission to toast me like a marshmallow. I love you all! Have fun REVIEWING this story!!!
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Cassie