2 – A Predictable Middle or 'Time' Changes Things
Meanwhile Jimmy encounters Snape instead of Lilly in an empty, eerie, uninhabited, dark, deserted, creepy corridor with no one else there where they are completely alone.
"Potter." The single word resembled a hiss yet in the books Snape is usually compared to a bat not a cat or a snake or anything else that hisses.
Jimmy repeats a phrase that was used earlier in the fic becaus the writer is to unimaginative to create a new one: "What are you doing here?"
"I'm the villain in every story. I'm a Slythoren so I don't have a shred of humanity".
"Oh, yeah, that's rite; we hate each other…Why do we have such strong loathing again?"
Snape rolled his black eyes irritably on account of the fact that he cannot esperience a positive emotion unless he's doing something sinister. "Nobody knows".
"Are you jealous of me?"
"Sometimes. I'm jealous of you when I'm in love with Lilly, and I'm jealous of Sirius when I'm in love with Remus".
"Damn your life sucks".
"I know. Fans love to have my days to full of angst unless there trying to put me in a fluffy romance, which never turns out well, but I can't describe the details of that at the present due to this being a BroomFlower and WolfStar amour tale".
"WolfStar?"
"You'll sea later".
"If you say so".
"We're not supposed to be having civilised conversation".
"Oops sorry. Shall I hex you?"
"Let what to do not be an enigma that perplexes your mentality, for during the duel we are currently required to partake in it is unambiguous that you shall defeat me since you are a splendiferous Griffendor; therefore I must lack the competence to annihilate you." Snape has an impressive vocabulary too.
"That sounds smashing." stated Jimmy not having an inkling of what Snape said because he's a stupid Quidich jock without any cleverness unless it related to mischief making.
"Oh you can't now".
"What? Why not?"
"There goes Lucius".
"I thought he graduated".
"He did. Doesn't matter. Hes here to rape Lilly".
"I'm not going to let that happen! I love her even though she's mean to me!" Jimmy is prepared to sprint but Snape places a restraining hand on his arm. "What are you doing?"
"Wait until he gets to her".
"Why the bloody hell wood I do that?" Snape acts all mysterious and does not respond. "Well can I jynx you while we wait?"
"Under average circumstances that would be fine. Unfortunately Remus is going to need me tomorrow; I must be in good health."
"He is? I didn't realise you 2 were friends".
"In the books we're not, yet in anecdotes we magically become fond of one another despite being in rivaling Houses just because we are both reserved people".
"Why – "
"No more questions. Lilly needs you to rescue her now. I'd help, but I have to go be evil. I'll start luring your friend, the small fat one that has absolutely no good qualities, to the Dark Side".
"Have fun. Cheerio Snivelly!" Jimmy went to the common room irrationally having the knowledge that they would have to be there and saw that Lucius had Lilly pinned underneath him on the floor. Of course their clothes were still on because Jimmy must be the one to take Lillys virginity.
"Piss off Potter. This is my Mudblood." No James\Lily story is complete unless somebody insults her with the dreaded M-word.
Lily cries "I'm a helpless girl that can't defend herself and winds up at the mercy of Death Eaters that tend to molest me. Save me!"
Jimmy easily prevented Lucius from harming the unreasonably attractive Head Girl however Lucius escapes. None of the readers question that since they haven't a clue how a Salazer protégé managed to enter Godric's common room anyway.
"Oh, thank you!" Lilly throws her arms – threw her arms – around him. There's been such a massive amount of verb confusion by now that no one is sure if the story is being told in past or present tense. "Your me hero James."
"You're calling me James? Does that mean I can call you Lilly?"
"Yes." Triumphant music plays in the background at the significant instance when the couple makes the transition from refering to each other by surnames to their first names. Then Lilly snogged him senseless. At least they didn't sleep together yet. Speaking of which…
- - - - -
The following morning Sirius wakes up alone and naked in his bed. His head is pounding with the familiar sensation of a hangover. Nothing unusual about that. Glancing around the dorm, he saw that Peter was resting upon his fourposter. By some feat he hadn't witnessed Sirius and Remus entertwined on the same mattress the night before. James had gone to the Heads Dormitory, whose existence was not verified in the novels.
"Good morning Padfoot." Remus comes out of the shower wearing naught accept a towel and an adorable smile.
"Shouldn't you get dressed Rem?" asked Sirius. Thanks to alcohol Sirius has no recollection whatsoever of the events of the previous day.
"I guess…I mean if thats what you want." Obviously, Remus remembers everything even though he drunk as much as Sirius because he has astoonishing werwolf powers that the books never mention.
"Why would I want you to parade around nude all day?"
"But last night you said – "
Assuming he proclamed something offensive when he was smashed the prior evening he assured "I wasn't Sirius about whatever I said last night".
The griefstricken boy doesn't attempt to explane to Sirius what occurred or how he feels. He simply permits self-loathing to eat away at him, considering himself foolish for beleiving anybody could love him. Remus dons his uniform in silence ere he traversed to the dungeons to weep to his only friend who would understand.
Snape is reading in a unused classroom cuz he doesn't possess a social life either. When Remus walked in crying he wrapped him in a Care Bear hug and explicably transformed into a nice and likeable person. Now that the masters of language are in the same place a truly shrewd conversation that no realistic teenagers would have can commence!
"I anticipated that Black would poignantly abduct your fragile heart and break it, selfishly disregarding your elation".
"You discerned that I viewed him in a less than platonic fashion?" Remus was still sobbing. The readers don't deem this peculiar; he's the bitch in the canines' relationship for being the modest and introverted one, and it is his duty to weep like a child in spite of the calm nature and self-control JKR's version gives him.
Snape holds him closer. "Almost every individual could deduce your unyielding concupiscence".
"And all that the prurience and devotion has rendered to me is the craving for solace." He gazes at Snape hopefully.
"…Gotta go!" Snape dropped Remus and began to leave.
"Wait aren't you going to take advantage of me and then Sirius can get jealous and\or save me because I can't take care of myself like Lilly?"
"Firstly reflect upon the rating. This is qualified as 'teen' and anytime an intimate scene with me is included they distinguish it as 'mature.' I'm that disturbing. Secondly this is a WolfStar AND BroomFlower spiel, so I need to go be in love with Lilly at the moment".
Remus is deprived of the oppertunity to respond once 2 people materialise out of thin air. One of them is identical to James with Llily's eyes and the other has hair that is bushy in the actual saga and beauty-parlor-hair-salon-pretty in the movies and fics.
"Professor Lup – " Hermione bites her tongue in the nick of time. Get it? It's funny since she traveled thru time. "Remus I'm so glad I found you!" She hopped onto his lap. "I'm here to fall in love with you".
Harry adds "And I'm here to fall in love with my godfather".
Snape shook his greasy head. 'Sorry kids. Youve got the wrong adventure. In this one the convict with no sense of maturity and the bookworm with no sense of humour are gay lovers".
"He isn't a convict yet. That's why we are here. Were going to prevent Sirius from being sent to prison and stop my parents from dying. We were told this brilliant plan by Dumbledoor, who you didn't really kill, that -"
Hermione interupted "Well, Professor Sna -- Severus, um, maybe…"
"Call me Snape. Unless I'm the main character in a Marauder's Era apologue I am refered to by my surname whilst all of the other students, including fellow Slytherins such as Lucius, are labeled by their firsts."
"Snape maybe we're here so 1 of us will wind up having feelings for you".
"I hope not! I'm already a piece of two love triangles. Are you trying to put me into a love octagon?" He frowned impatiently. "How can I be presumed to maintane my reputation as a heartless bastard if I love everyone?"
Harry shrugs, staring at Hermione. "Wanna go back to the future?"
"Sure." She shaks hands with the others. "It was a pleasure meeting you again…or before…or whatever".
Snape promises, "Hermione in the future I'll mistreat you during class for having brains & friends. Nobody should be granted both if there not Remus or Lilly because I love them. Harry I'll take my anger at your father out on you but I'll save your life on multiple occasions as a result of my love for your mother".
No body says this in the books yet Ron does in the films, thus it is a rule for it to be proclamed in fan works: "Wicked!" declares Harry disappearing with Hermione using her timeturner. Because she had the item once she must have the ability to obtain them constantly, right?
"Thank Merlin thats over." Snape instructed, "Don't worry. Black will come searching for you. Eventually." He left.
Remus sighed. "I'm all by myself in solitude. I'm alone. It's lonely."