Dearest Gabriella,
I know haven't written very much from here but there's
really not much to write about. More precisely, there's not much I can write
about because practically everything I do, read or hear is classified as military
information or is depressing to the point that I'd rather just forget about it.
I work 18-20-hour days, every day. The quest to draw a clear picture of what
the insurgents are up to never ends. Problems and frictions crop up faster than
solutions. Every challenge demands a response. It's like this every day. Before
I know it, I can't see straight, because it's 0400 hours and I've been at work
for 20 hours straight, somehow missing dinner again in the process. And once
again I haven't written to anyone but you. I miss you so much; the only thing
keeping me sane is the memories of our last night together. I miss your smile,
the way you smell, and god do I miss your laugh. It's so hard during mail call
here because you have these strong men crumbling around you at the sight of a
letter from their wife/girlfriend/family. One of the guys in my barrack just
got a new picture of his little girl, she just turned one and he hasn't even
seen her. He's been here for 21 months and he isn't set to go back till the end
of this year. I don't know how I plan to make it without you for another 16
months. Well my shift starts in about ten minutes so I need to go, but I will
be waiting for your response. I love you baby girl. So, so much.
Love,
Troy
Dear Troy,
I don't know how you manage to work those hours but you are
strong and I know that you can do anything you set your mind to. Having said
that…please make sure you are taking care of yourself. I need you to promise me
that you are…I couldn't bear the thought of knowing you were sick and in pain
and I wouldn't be able to do a thing to help you. I am glad to hear that you
are ok for now - it helps me sleep better at night knowing that you are safe
and alive as it gets harder each day without you…sometimes I think that I will
go crazy I miss you that much. As with you the only thing that keeps me sane is
the memories I have, without them I don't think I would be able to get through
the day. I miss you so much Troy. I'm counting the days until I can be in your
arms again. I hope to hear from you soon. Stay safe…God, Troy…please stay safe…I
love you Wildcat.
Love,
Gabriella
P.S- Love has always gotten us through and it will do so
again.
Dearest Gabriella,
I know it has been awhile since my last letter but we have
had some serious issues arise. For instance today when my section rolled out of
the gate we saw someone drop a can to the ground and we thought it was an IED.
I stopped right away and backed up; the other two vehicles went by it. We got
out and pulled security. Well it ended up not being an IED, I felt a little
embarrassed but I knew I had done the right thing anyway. We had a new section
arrive at the base today. One of the guys is close to my age, we've bonded
quickly as he has a girlfriend back home waiting as well. We started talking
about the future and he asked me what I saw. I just want you to know I see you
in my future Gabriella - I love you with all my heart and I can't wait to grow
old with you. And when the pastor says you may kiss your bride that will probably
be the happiest moment of my life – right up there with the next time you are
able to lay your head on my chest...There is no one or nothing that will stop
me from getting back to you baby. So don't worry. Just wait. I love you Gabriella
– whenever I feel like I can't go on, I picture your beautiful smiling face and
that is what gets me through another day in this hell. Keep on smiling for me
baby girl.
Love,
Troy
Dear Troy,
You don't know how much your last letter made me smile. I
can't wait until we're standing in the church, in front of all our family and
friends becoming man and wife. It's thoughts like that that keep me going while
you're away, knowing that when you return we can be in each other's arms and
never let go. Keep being cautious, Wildcat, I can't stand the thought of
anything bad happening to you. Because I have news…I'm pregnant. We're going to
have a baby Troy! You and me. I can't wait for you to come home; the doctor
predicts that the due date is a week after your only visit. I wish you were here to
share this with me. But for now I will make do with the knowledge that a piece
of you is with me, growing with every day that goes by. I love you Wildcat.
Love,
Gabriella
Dearest Gabriella,
I can't believe that you are pregnant! I can't believe I'm
going to be a dad. You've have officially made me that happiest man alive. I
can't wait till I can come home and hold you and be a part of yours and the
baby's life. I miss you and I can't wait to see you. As for here in Iraq, I
have excellent news - as you know we have been and continue to operate in
dangerous and volatile areas with amazing restraint considering we are
repeatedly attacked. ... We give candy to kids, purchase items contributing to
the local economy and return accurate and well aimed fire upon legitimate
targets when fired upon. One of our heavy vehicles got stuck today in soft
ground. The local Iraqis came by with a bulldozer and a front end loader and
helped us. The Iraqi guy who organized the vehicle rescue refused to take money.
We have not lost yet as things are starting to look up, although I keep getting
the dreaded emails that say "The Walking Blood Bank is activated. We need
blood type A stat." I always head down to the surgical unit as soon as I
get these messages, but I never give blood as there are always about 80
soldiers in line, night or day. I miss you more and more each day and I can't
wait until I can look into your eyes and tell you (and your growing bump!) how
much I love you both. I want pictures of you, to see how big your
belly is getting. How much my baby is growing inside of you. Not being
with you makes me weak. You are the link that makes my chain strong.
You complete me in every way. I love you baby girl. And I love our little peanut.
Love,
Troy
Dear Troy,
I'm so glad to hear you're making a difference in these
people's lives, and I'm so proud of you. I'm relieved that things are looking
up. More than I can express in words. I cleaned out our closet yesterday and
donated some of our old stuff to the homeless shelter - if soldiers who are
working 20 hours a day can find the time to help others, then so can I. I miss
everything about you, Troy, especially the feeling of getting lost in your
amazing eyes. I went for a scan today. Our baby is getting so big! They say the
next scan I have I can find out the sex, but I told them I don't want to know.
I want to be surprised like you. I can't wait until you're home. I love you, Wildcat.
Love,
Gabriella.
Dearest Gabriella,
Today the infantry battalion commander handed me the dog
tags of my best mate, the one I told you about in the previous letters, who had
just been killed while on a mission with his unit. He was hit by a 60mm mortar.
He was a great Soldier. His picture now hangs at the entrance to our section
area. We'll carry it home with us when we leave. I can't believe he is
gone…images of the last time I spoke to him haunt my dreams. I have also been
informed that I will have to stay an extra two months over here and i won't be able to make it home for my visit. I can't come home until my full 20 months are served, but I want you to know whether I make it or not, it's all part of
the plan. It can't be changed, only completed. Gabriella will be the last word
I'll say. Your face will be the last picture that goes through my eyes. ... I
just hope that you're proud of what I'm doing and have faith in my decisions. I
will try hard and not give up. I just want to say sorry for anything I have
ever done wrong. And I'm doing it all for you, baby girl. You and our peanut. I
love you both.
Love,
Troy