Only God Knows

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. That is all. So shut the hell up and get over it.

Summary: Naruto is forced into a camp for "troubled" youth. But will a certain raven lead him further from the path?

Well, I am surprised that the first chapter is nearly six pages… It's insane. But I hope that all of you are enjoying this story. I have been really busy with life. I had graduated recently; I found a three-pawed puppy in the road, and getting stung by wasps (which I discovered I have a mild allergic reaction to). And terrible writers block. But hopefully, that will clear up. So let's get this show on the road.

Ch2

My father's shadow on the drive-way overwhelmed my entire being. I felt like I was the five-year-old boy caught with crayons in my hand as I drew on the walls. Inside, I felt defeated. I had finally confessed a life-long secret of inner struggle between my feelings for the same gender, the feelings of love for my family, and what I knew that could easily endanger my mortal soul. I had entrusted my family to my deepest darkest secret. And I was met with my father acting like Judas. Betrayed with a kiss.

My father placed a strong hand on my shoulder. At the moment, I really hated my father. The bible states that thou shall honor thy father. But the bible never said anything about loving him. Only to love and fear God. And right now, I just wanted to punch my father over the moon for thinking me as some leper. I wasn't some broken toy that needed fixing. I wanted him to accept me. Not curse me.

"It's for your own good." He stated casually.

I shrugged his hand off my shoulder a bit violently. I didn't want to hear him trying to make any of us feel better. The only way to make me feel better is for him to call this crock-pot of a trip off. But I know very well he won't do that.

Over the past few hours I was trying my best to escape any possibility of going to this camp. My mom even had to stop me three times from running away with just my school bag full of clothes, pudding snacks, and ramen. I knew she didn't want me to do this. But I knew that she didn't want to try and convince my father to call it off. Mom was struggling with her love of her son and husband. I knew that she didn't like seeing me in pain like this. And I knew she didn't like seeing my father like the way he was right now.

My summer was going to be a complete waist. I was going to miss one of my friend's graduation because I had to be "Sr. Closet-Case" and come out to them. I was going to miss the sports camp that I really wanted to go this summer. I was going to have to pray that all of the other guys that were going to try out for any of the teams to suck major ass.

I turned to the front door to see my mom with my guitar, Sky (I), and music sheet book. This woman is heaven-sent. I knew that most likely I would feel a lot better with my guitar if I can't do a single thing there. I can write my little music there about how much it sucks to be in camp and maybe make some of the other kids there crack a smile.

I grabed Sky carefully from my mom and put her in the car. I really didn't want to do this, but I knew there was no way I could get out of this situation. I was leaving home for some strange place that I wouldn't know a single soul, but most of them would make successful attempt to change me to a self-hating man.

I looked up my mom with pleading eyes. I didn't want to leave this place. I wanted to stay home. But my mom looked away from my suffering. She didn't want to see me in this state. Who could have blamed her?

"Please, Naruto." She whispered as she turned back after a few moments. "Don't make this any tougher. Just be the good boy that I know you are."

I walked closer to my mom. I wasn't sure what was really going on. But I really wanted to find out what was being meant. Did she mean that I was really a good kid, just being thrown into a bad situation? Or was I a bad kid with a good heart?

Suddenly, my mom hugged me. And that was when I knew it didn't matter. My mom would always love me. Even if my father would stop loving his son. She would love me for the two of them. She wanted me to be remain the same, in a sense. Take this bad experience and make it into the best thing in my life. I really hoped I could do that. I wanted to make this horrible thing that was being done to me turn into the greatest thing in the world. But something told me that I wouldn't get my wish. And that was what really sucked.

"Now, let's get this nightmare over with." I stated colder than I had meant for it to sound.

My father got inside the car, along with my mother. Part of me wanted to bolt in the other direction and just take my risk with getting gang raped by Oscar and evil hooligans. But at the moment, I really didn't feel all that brave. I felt like I was being abandoned by even God. He was too busy watching over the Sparrows to be paying attention to me.

And since I knew that God would not be watching me, everything just felt hopeless. I felt like the world hated me. I felt alone. Perhaps this camp thing would make me feel less alone. Or more alone than I already felt.

With all of my might, I opened the car door and got inside. I felt as if a part of me was dying. I hated it. I really felt like I should have died. I was an embarrassment to my family for my secret. And my father was doing the best he could to hide it. I knew that if our church ever discovered my secret, my father would be the laughing-stock of the town. Who had ever heard of the Preacher's son being a homosexual? People would talk bad things about our family and church. And my father almost certainly not ready for that kind of pressure.

I watched as my house grew smaller and smaller with each passing second. And that is how I felt. The only difference was, the house would disappear into nothing while I just remain the same hollowed-up soul. I really didn't want to feel this way. I hated it. This feeling is possibly worse than when I found out I was gay. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

Familiar sights stood before us. My high school with their ROTC practicing their marching before their big day of missing half the school day with this big exam (II) to determine whether they get to keep their blue star or get back the gold.

The ROTC just looked amazing. They were dressed in their army greens. Their shoes polished to perfection, I bet. Their hair neatly tucked away in their matching green hats. All of them looked like perfect dolls in a perfect line. They functioned as the perfect machine. In an odd and weird way, it was a little scary. They all seemed to have the same mind. One thought. To execute their commands with precise action.

Part of me really wanted to go to school right now. That way I wouldn't have to deal with going to this hell of a camp. But I knew that there was no way in hell I would be going to my school. My father already made his decision. Once he made up his mind on something, he was going to stick to it. He was stubborn like that. I have only seem him quit only a few things. But he never made me think of it as quitting. It was more like God had a purpose for everything and the project has provided enough fruit and would not be providing any more harvests.

Before I even knew it, we were leaving town. I really didn't want to leave this place. I wanted to stay and live my normal life. I wanted to live my life as the captain of the Basketball team. I wanted to live my life as the baseball player in the school. Sports are a big thing in my life and I didn't want to disappoint my team by leaving out of the blue. We had a big game tonight and I know there is no way I will even be able to go. This sucks. I should have never come out to them. If I didn't then I would be playing baseball tonight and scoring home runs for my team.

I would be free to run as fast as I can. Sometimes, when I ran like that, I felt like I was flying. I felt free. I was really alive when I was out in the field. Nobody was there except me. That would be my time to shine.

Sometimes, I wasn't sure if baseball or basketball would be my calling. I loved them both. I got to run. I got to have fun. They both were fulfilling for me. I guess it didn't matter. As long as I was running, I was happy.

I watched outside my window to see the scenery blur into many colors of green and the occasional colors of reds, blacks, whites, and blues. I liked how the outside looked. It was really appealing to see how beautiful the outside world was. It was amazing how nature seemed to blend well with man-made objects.

I could hear my mom singing El Shadai. Her voice is really pretty. I remember when I was really little, when I or my brother couldn't sleep, we would have out mom sing us something. It was soothing. We always felt like nothing bad in the world would ever happen if she was with us singing. I felt comforted at this very moment. Despite the fact that I knew that I was going to be entering to this completely different and terrifying world. My mom was an angel of music for me. She was justly truthfully an angel. Before I knew it, I slowly drifted into a deep slumber.

I don't know when, but the car had stopped. I knew that it had stopped because I was leaning on the window. And somebody had opened the door. It seemed like I wasn't going to be heading into this place with a good start. After all, nobody likes to have a mouth full of gravel people spit and animals defecate on.

TBC

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that little chapter. I just wanted to remind everybody again that this story was inspired from WWJD. There are key differences from their story and mine. Naruto is a homosexual Christian who is being forced into a camp that will "cure" him. The WWJD Naruto is more of a non-believer.

I also want to thank those who are reading. I write for you guys. I also want to thank my cousin. Thanks for pulling me through this difficult labor of writing. I feel like this story is one of my children that I desperately want to survive. Thanks for helping me with this thorny struggle of writing this story. You know that many times I have felt like quitting it because I am terrified that I will somehow make it too close to WWJD. Thanks for beating some sense into me.

(I) Some people name their instruments. When I played bass in my orchestra in school, I named the bass that I used "Chocolate" because her wood was so milky it looked like chocolate.

(2) The exam Naruto is talking about is the biggest test the Jr. ROTC partake in order to keep their status or bump up. Their status are ranked by the color of their star. The ranking are as followed:

Gold- Highest
Blue- Second Highest
Some other colors I cannot remember. I think it's red and yellow.
White- Lowest

If they get a white star for the first year and do not improve the second time they take the test, then the military will not put up government funds for that school's military class, thus eventually forcing the school to drop the program.

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