It was past 9pm by the time you got home the next day and after fumbling with your keys and flicking the lights on you dumped the load of paperwork onto the floor.
Who knew selling a house would be such a pain in the ass.
You had spent all day with a real estate agent, going over the property and discussing the market.
You had been grumpy all day, after getting barely any sleep yet again, and the last thing you wanted to do was get dressed and go to a SAMCRO party.
You walked around the living room and drew the curtains before sitting on the floor in the middle of the room and opening the carton of chinese food you had bought in the way home.
It probably wasn't a good idea for you to go to the party anyway, you thought to yourself.
You were only in town to sell this damned house and it would only be a couple of weeks before you left again. It had been nice, seeing Jax again after yearning for him for so long.
But who were you kidding?
He wouldn't feel the same way, especially not after so many years. And you were leaving.
There was no point in getting attached when it would just hurt more when you had to say goodbye again.
No, you would stay home. On the floor of an empty house eating chinese food.
You'd also bought a bottle of wine and you left the food on the floor as you walked to your bag and rummaged through it to find the bottle.
You pulled it out proudly, almost as if it was a newborn child, and you didn't bother looking for glasses. You knew there was none.
So you opened the bottle and took a long gulp of wine.
Tonight you would enjoy your own miserable company.
You woke to a loud pounding on the door and you groaned as the room focused in front of you.
It was dark and you rubbed your eyes.
After drinking the bottle of wine and finishing your chinese, at some point you had passed out on the floor of the living room.
The pounding continued and you stumbled to your feet.
"Im coming!" You yelled. What time was it? The sun wasn't up so it must be late, you thought.
Eventually you made your way to the front door and you swung it open.
Jax stood in the door way, the dark night illuminated by the moon shining down behind him.
"Good morning." He said with a coy smirk on his face, as he glanced over your rumpled skirt and messy hair.
"What the fuck Jax? What time is it?" You asked and stifled a yawn.
"3.15." He answered.
You groaned and leant against the doorway and wrapped your arms around yourself.
"What are you doing here?" You asked.
Gradually you began to wake up more and you suddenly felt self conscious under his gaze.
You were still dressed in your business skirt and shirt and your hair was a mess.
"You didn't come to the party." Jax answered. He glanced behind you, into the empty house and noticed the bottle of wine and the empty food carton on the floor.
"Yeah, sorry Jax. I got home late." You explained.
He nodded.
"Wanna go for a ride?"
"Its three in the morning Jax." You groaned.
Hr laughed loudly and looked at you through his eye lashes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.
"Never stopped you before," He winked.
You sighed and stood straight.
"Let me get changed." You said before shutting the door ad leaving him in the night as you walked to your bedroom.
What were you doing? You thought to yourself. You had not gone to that party to stay away from Jax. You didn't want to complicate things. And here he was, on your doorstep in the middle of the night.
You pulled off your skirt and tugged on a pair of jeans before ripping iff your blouse and rummaging through your bags for a sweater.
Its just one ride. You told yourself, desperately trying to convince yourself that this wasn't a bad idea.
Quickly you tugged on some socks and your boots before walking back to the front door.
You knelt by your bag and pulled out your keys before walking tot he front door, opening and closing it behind you.
The night was crisp and the faint smell of tobacco filled the air as Jax leant against his bike, puffing on his cigarette.
The moonlight shone down on him and even in this light he was ridiculously handsome.
You locked the door and slid the keys into your pocket and as you approached him Jax tossed his cigarette to the ground.
He held out a helmet and you took it before tugging it down onto your head and buckling the strap.
You watched as he swung his leg over and sat on his bike before looking back at you, a mischievous spark in his eyes.
You couldn't help the grin spreading over your face as you placed your hands on his shoulders and swung your leg over the bike and sinking down behind him.
You shifted your hands to bis waist and you clutched at the leather as he brought the bike to life, the loud roar ripping through the quiet night.
Jax turned back to you and you nodded, reassuring him.
Slowly you rolled out of your driveway and you wrapped your arms tighter around his waist and pressed your face against his back, leaning your body with his as he turned the corner.
Gradually his speed increased as you moved through your street and into the open roads and you let the scent of his leather fill your lungs.
The streets blurred past you as the bike roared through the night and you held on toJax tightly.
Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.
After an hour or so Jax pulled into a wooded area and rode slowly through the trees.
The track was familiar to you; it was where he used to bring you when you were young.
The area was surrounded by looming trees but it cleared out into a small opening and you had spent countless nights here, getting drunk with Opie and Jax, or simply lying on the ground and staring up at the stars.
The trees began to clear and Jax pulled the bike to a stop before killing the engine.
You swung your leg over first and lifted the helmet from your head before shaking your hair out and handing it back to Jax.
"This place hasn't changed." You said quietly. Your voice sounded delicate in the quiet of the night.
You couldn't hear the roads from here, and the only sounds were the distant noises of animals and the light wind rustling through the leaves.
Jax followed you as you stepped over the grass and moved into the middle of the clearing, looking up through the opening in the trees and looking at the stars.
It was just as beautiful as you remembered.
You sat on the ground and Jax sat next to you.
Neither of you spoke for a while. You sat content in each others silent company.
"Why did you never come back?"
His words broke the silence and you struggled with your answer.
You glanced down at your hands in your lap and twiddled your thumbs.
"I couldnt." Was all you said.
Jax nodded slowly and you sighed.
"It was too hard for me. After dad died I just couldn't bare to bring myself back here." You told him truthfully. "I was scared."
You looked back up at the stars and admired their beauty.
"Did you want to? Come back?" Jax asked.
You turned to him and he met your gaze. Even in the dark light his blue eyes shone brightly and you smiled sadly.
"Everyday." You whispered.
Jax studied you closely.
He reached his hand out and squeezed yours gently. The moment his hand touched yours you felt sparks shooting through your body.
His eyes locked on yours and he moved closer slightly. You weren't sure if your heart had ever beat faster than it did in this moment.
As your heads slowly moved closer together you noticed everything about him. You noticed the slight speck of green in his blue eyes, barely big enough to notice. You noticed the small scar on his cheek and for a moment you wondered how he got it. You wanted to know everything about his life since you left,you wanted to know everything about this man that was right in front of you. But more than anything you wanted to feel his lips on yours.
Gradually his head moved closer to yours and you could feel the heat of his breath on your lips. You licked you lips nervously and glanced at his before looking back into his eyes.
Just as the loaning became almost unbearable Jax's lips pressed against yours and the warmth of his mouth sent currents running through your body.
Your hands reached out and held either side of his face as his wrapped around your body and you whimpered slightly as his mouth moved in sync with yours.
Your lips moved in harmony with his and you ran your fingers through his thick hair, desperately clinging to him.
His mouth grew hungrier and he kissed you more fiercely now,exploring your mouth with his tongue. You could taste the cigarette and whiskey on his lips.
He gently pulled your body down till you were lying and he hovered his body over yours.
You opened your legs and Jax lay between them, his groin pressing against yours and you moaned softly at the weight of him on top of you.
Both of your breathing became more rapid as you made out on the grass like a couple of horny teenagers.
His fingers traced down your body and he gently slid them beneath your shirt and you whimpered softly as the coolness of his rings mixed with the warmth of your skin.
For a moment your lips parted and Jax smirked down at you before tracing his lips down your neck.
You arched your neck for him, allowing him to suck gently at your soft skin and you moaned once more.
His fingers traced further up your body and he cupped your breasts through the fabric of your bra.
You moaned and squirmed beneath him and Jax smirked as he lifted to his knees and tugged your shirt over your head.
Your hair splayed out around you messily and you looked at him through thick eye lashes.
A blush rose to your cheeks as he admired your body and gingerly you sat up and reached behind you to unclip your bra.
You met his gaze as you let the fabric fall from your skin and you tossed it onto the ground beside you before leaning back onto your eyebrows.
Jax licked his lips as his eyes explored your bare chest, and he was amazed that you could be covered in dirt and sweat and still smell and look like the best thing he'd ever seen, and he didn't waste much time before leaning back over you.
He pressed a kiss to your lips once more before trailing them down your neck and across your chest.
Hr sucked gently as he moved, leaving a faint trail of bruises from your collarbone to your nipple.
You moaned as his tongue licked around your nipple and he sucked gently.
Jax growled at the sound of your whimpering beneath him and an urgency came over him.
His lips sucked rougher around your nipple now and his fingers fumbled with the button of your jeans.
Your fingers were in his hair, tugging at the strands gently.
Once he got your jeans unbuttoned he tugged them down your thighs quickly followed by your panties. He wasted no time in removing his own clothes and he hovered over you once more, his lips exploring your with an urgent hunger.
Your lips moved with his and you felt his fingers stroke through your wet folds and you opened your legs slightly wider, enjoying the feel of his hard cock on your inner thigh.
He works you with his fingers expertly, knowing just how to make you shudder and moan his name into the night.
He moves his fingers against you til your on the verge of your release when he stops and slides himself inside you, his hands moving to hold you by the hips gently.
He fills you slowly and you both moan as you stretch around him.
Slowly he rocks his hips against yours and it doesn't take long til your begging for more.
His thrusts became rougher and harder and with each move he leaves you breathless.
The night is filled with the sound of your moans and his growls and his skin slapping against yours.
When you cum you scream his name as your walls clench around him and Jax growls as he finds his release, his hot seed filling you.
He slows his movements and gently slides out of you before collapsing to the ground beside you.
Both of you are panting heavily and he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as you both catch your breath and stare up at the stars.
You pressed your cheek to his leather as he rode through the night, your fingers clutching at the leather around his waist.
You couldn't quite explain the mixture of emotions that ran through your body as you rode.
Making love with Jax had been everything and more than you could have ever imagined and you were still coming down from that high.
You had both laid beneath the stars for a while, lying naked on the grass.
Jax had helped you dress yourself and plucked leaves from your ruffled hair.
Neither of you had spoken much, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable.
And as you drove closer back into town the reality of what had happened began to hit you in waves.
As the wind swept your hair out behind you a tear rolled down your cheek and you didn't bother to wipe it away.
"Are you sure about this, (y/n)?" Your real estate agent asked you.
You rolled your eyes and smiled at him from across the desk.
"For the millionth time, I'm sure." You told him.
"We could get more for the property if you wait til the report comes back. It wont take more than a week." He told you, a hint of concern in his voice.
"I know, Jeremy. But I need the house sold, like now."
"Alright, whatever you say (y/n)." Jeremy said and shuffled the papers on the desk.
"I'll get the ads up and the paperwork sent off right away."
You smiled and stood, smoothing down your skirt.
"Thank you."
Jeremy stood too and walked towards the door of his office before opening it for you.
You lifted your handbag off the chair next to you and swung it on to your shoulder.
"I'll be round this afternoon to put the 'For Sale' signs up." Jeremy told you.
You smiled and thanked him before walking past him and out of the office.
As you walked you felt your handbag vibrate and you sighed as you pulled out your cell phone.
He was trying to call you, again.
You hit ignore.
That makes it eight missed calls from him. Since you'd woken.
You'd lost count of the amount of times you'd hit 'ignore' to Jax's calls in the last few days.
The last thing you needed was to hear his 'we're better off as friends' speech.
So you saved him the bother and you'd been ignoring his calls ever since he'd left your house that night.
The next morning you'd woken and headed straight to the office,determined to get the house sold, and get the hell out of Charming.
You tossed your phone back into your bag and continued walking to your car.
You fumbled with the keys and eventually unlocked your door.
After sliding in and sticking the keys in the ignition you wound down the windows and turned the radio on, letting the music fill the air.
Your car pulled out of its park and you drove along the street before stopping at a red light.
Seconds past and thats when you heard it.
You could always hear them before you saw them and you gulped and gripped the wheel.
In a matter of seconds a dozen bikes sped past you and you recognised each member that passed.
None of them saw you, however and you were glad.
But that still didnt stop your heart almost beating out of your chest as Jax sped past you followed by his brothers.
Finally the light turned green and you drove on.
You needed to get out of this town, and quick.
The rest of the day passed quickly.
You had spent your time doing touch-ups on the property after you had bought some paint down town, and a camp chair too, so now at least you had something to sit on.
Paint splatters covers your grey tank and speckled your cheeks but you didn't care. The only person you were seeing today was Jeremy, and he had just left after erecting the 'For Sale' sign on the front lawn.
You were lucky he put up with you, really. He had your best intentions at heart and wanted you to get the best price for your fathers property.
But money was the last of your concerns. You just wanted it sold.
So you had argued and argued and finally he had agreed to put the ads out at a generously reduced price.
The house was a steal.
It wasn't in the greatest of conditions but for the price you were asking for, you knew the buyer wouldn't care.
A bargain.
You heard a knock on the door faintly over the blasting noise of your music.
A frown came to your lips and you knelt, resting your pain brush on top of the bucket.
You hadn't heard any bikes pull up yet you still didn't feel completely relieved.
Its probably just Jeremy. You told yourself as you walked through the house.
You quickly turned the volume down on your portable speakers and walked to the door.
As you reached for the handle you wiped your hair out of your face and swung it open.
It wasn't Jeremy.
It was Gemma fucking Teller.
She stood leaning against the wall, her oversized sunglasses framing her face.
You sighed when your saw her pursed lips and you crossed your arms over your chest.
"What do you want, Gemma?" You asked.
She would have to be deaf to not hear the attitude in your voice and she raised her eye brows at you.
She paused before speaking, taking in your messy bun and your paint splattered face and clothes.
"That how you answer the door to all your visitors?" She asked coolly.
"Only the ones I don't wanna see on my doorstep." You bit back.
You had no right to be so catty, really. Gemma had done nothing wrong, and neither had Jax. It was you that had cut all contact yet you still felt irritated having her turn up like this and you knew she was about to give you one of her famous lectures.
She smirked slightly at your words and lifted her sunglasses, letting them sit on her head.
"There a reason you've been avoiding phone calls?" She asked you, her dark eyes watching you closely.
"Been busy." You shrugged.
Gemma sighed and stepped closer.
"Listen here, missy. I don't know what happened between you and Jackson. But you have no right to turn up in this town after all these years and break his heart all over again."
You glared at her but she didn't budge.
"You owe him an explanation at least. Dint you dare leave town without telling him exactly why you came back just to rip his heart out."
Her words cut through you like ice but you didn't let her see it.
Instead you sighed and rolled your eyes.
"Get off my porch, Gemma."
She looked you over once more before pushing off the wall and turning her back.
She took two steps before she stopped.
"He loves you. Remember that." She said over her shoulder before walking down the steps towards her car.
You closed the door quickly and pressed your back against it, looking around the empty room.
Fucking Gemma Teller and her fucking lectures.
Two days had passed since Gemma had turned up at your front door, and it had been a week since that night with Jackson.
You sat alone in the diner, staring at the plate of food in front of you, poking it gingerly with your fork.
The phone calls had become less frequent but they hadn't stopped, yet you still hadn't found the courage to answer any of them. Not even Opies calls.
"Something wrong with the food, darlin?"
You glanced up and saw the waitress standing by the booth, a look of her concern on her face as she looked at the plate of food in front of you, untouched.
"Not at all. Just not as hungry as I thought." You told her and smiled warmly.
She smiled back at you and left you to your own misery.
You sighed and left the fork on the table, resting your chin in your hand and your elbow on the table and you glanced into the street.
Even at night time Chamring still had a certain spark about it.
The streets, illuminated with street lights and neon signs in windows, the smell of fried food filling the streets.
Gemma was right, of course. You knew you couldn't leave with out talking to him.
You didn't even really know why you were ignoring him at all.
Someone had placed an offer on the house today and Jeremy had called you excitedly, knowing your be glad to hear of the progress. But you hadn't been.
The offer was more than you were asking for yet you couldn't bring yourself to go down to the office and sign off on the papers.
There was something you had to do first.
You sighed and slid out of the booth and after tossing a twenty dollar tip on the table you left the diner.
You had driven down but you didn't head to your car.
It was only a short walk to TM,and you could use the time to figure out exactly what you were going to say.
The walk had been a good idea, giving you a chance to clear your mind and as you walked into the TM lot a wave of confidence washed over you.
You saw the row of bikes lined up and the light filling the lot from the open doors of the garage.
Music pumped through the walls of the clubhouse,but it wasn't loud enough to signify a SAMCRO party, which you were relieved about.
As you walked silently into the lot you could hear the faint banter and smell of weed and almost instantly the nerves returned.
No one had seen you yet, and you knew it wasn't to late to turn around.
But you couldn't bring yourself to stop your feet from moving and gradually you turned the corner to the picnic table.
Jax sat with his back facing you, but you could recognise his blond hair anywhere.
Opie sat beside him and opposite them sat Juice and Tig.
All of them talking amongst themselves, puffing on cigarettes and joints and sipping on beers ad whiskey.
You fumbled with your fingers.
Juice spotted you out of the corner of his eye and he turned to you, smiling warmly.
Eventually they all saw Juice looking at something and all of them turned.
You felt so small, so fragile when those blue eyes fell on you and for a moment you forgot you weren't alone.
Silence fell and Jax closed his mouth tightly.
The rest of the men stood and Juice and Tig headed inside, nodding to Jax.
Opie walked to you and kissed your cheek before heading inside, leaving you alone with Jax.
He turned his back to you and took a long swig of his beer.
You forced your feet to move and you slowly walked towards the table before sliding onto the bench opposite him.
Jax took a long drag of his cigarette, and you watched him blow it out.
He still didn't look at you or say anything and you twiddled your thumbs in your lap.
"How are you?" You asked quietly.
Almost instantly you regretted saying anything at all.
Jax glanced at you with a raised brow.
"How am I?" He repeated.
You blushed and gulped, unsure of how to respond.
Jax scoffed and rubbed his hand across his face.
"Jesus Christ, (y/n). What are you doing here?" He asked you. There was a coldness to his tone and you shuddered slightly.
"I.. I thought we should talk." You said quietly.
"Now you wanna talk? I tried calling you. A million fucking times. But now you wanna talk?" Jax snarled now and you could definitely sense the anger radiating off him.
You stood and dropped your hands.
"This was a mistake." You said.
"Typical. You cant keep running forever, (y/n)." Jax said.
You had only taken a few steps when he spoke and you stopped.
"I shouldn't have come back." You said and Jax spun in his seat.
His nostrils were flared and you knew he was angry.
"So why did you?" He asked and he stood.
"You know why." You told him and you felt tears rising behind your eyes.
"No. I don't know. You could have sold the house from the city. We both know that. So why'd you come back? Why now?" He stepped closer to you, narrowing the gap between you and you stepped back.
You didn't know how to answer him.
"It doesn't matter why, Jax. The house sold. Im leaving again, so you can just pretend this never happened." It wasn't exactly a lie. You had an offer on the house, all you had to do was sign it over.
Jax scoffed and shook his head before looking at you once more.
His blue eyes were filled with fire and you shuddered under his gaze.
"So thats it, huh? Your just gonna forget about me and you?!" Jax snarled, his voice rising.
You stepped back once more and your back hit the wall.
"I could never forget about you, Jackson." You spat back.
He smirked evilly and moved closer, placing his hands on the wall either side of your head.
"So what, you just wanna fuck me and leave, huh?"
You gulped and glared at him.
"Atleast you got what you wanted." Jax snarled and turned, walking away from you.
You clenched your fists.
"Fuck you!" You screamed. God, it made you angry that he was right. You had treated him like shit all these years, and especially this week.
Jax shook his head and continued walking.
"You wanna know why it took me so long to comeback?" You yelled.
Finally he turned back to face you and you stepped closer to him, your body shaking with emotion.
"Because I fucking love you, you idiot!" You yelled. "I was so fucking terrified that if I came back you would have moved on, that you'd have an old lady. And i knew I wouldn't be able to handle that. And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have fucked you the other night. But i thought id do you the favour of ending things with me. We both know I cant stay here!"
Jax stared at you, his mouth slightly open.
You breathed heavily, and you had never felt more vulnerable that you did right in that moment.
"What did you say?" Jax asked slowly.
You scoffed ad turned around.
"Forget it Jax. I'll be out of town by the end of the week."
Your footsteps were rapid as you walked away from him and you didn't hear him call after you.
Suddenly though, you heard heavy footsteps behind you and before you could react he grabbed your wrist and spun your body to face him.
His hand gripped your face and he crashed his lips against yours.
For a moment you let him in, let him kiss you so desperately.
But you quickly came to your senses and you shoved him away from you with all your force.
"I love you." He said quietly.
You froze, only your eyes moving to meet his.
"What?" You whispered.
"God, (y/n), I love you. I have since you left." Jax said.
A tear escaped your eye and you let it roll gently down your cheek.
"It broke my heart when you left. And Ive been with other women, lots of them. But every women I have ever been with, I have seen you. Its always been you."
His words echoed in your ears and you stared at him as tears rolled down your cheeks.
You stepped closer to him and he reached his hand out, letting his finger gently wipe away the tears.
"I cant lose you again." Jax whispered.
His blue eyes glistened with his own tears and you gulped before you stepped closer and reached up to kiss his lips.
"The house didn't sell. I only got an offer." You told him truthfully.
Jax grinned and shook his head slightly. He reached his hand out and swept your hair behind your ear before holding your face gently, his thumb stroking your cheek.
"Dont sell it." He told you. "Stay here, in Charming."
"Ive got a job Jax, and an apartment-"
"So quit. We'll find you work here. Please, (y/n), I cant lose you again."
You looked into his eyes and saw the hurt you had caused him all these years, the begging.
Slowly, you nodded.
"Okay."
Jax grinned and pressed his lips against yours.
"I love you, (y/n). I really love you."
You grinned back at your best friend, the love of your life.
"I love you too, Jax."