Disclaimer: I passed only the single mandatory course of biology in high school, don't blame me too much if some facts have been 'modified' for fantasy purposes.

This is chapter v2: Did some fixing here and there, July 2006.

The weirdest day in the life of Uzumaki Naruto was just like any other day, until he mistakenly trampled on an ant hill during a D-rank mission. It wasn't
the first time he stepped on that particular ant hill; through the years, going in and out of missions, he had always been a regular menace for the otherwise peaceful ant colony right next to the Konoha gates.

Adjusting to a recurring natural disaster, the legendary Ant-kage, strongest ant to ever lead the colony, readied himself and lay in wait. When the left side edge of the ant hill collapsed under the foot of the Hideous Orange Monster, he stood upon the boss of the Cockroach summon family and completed his Jutsu. The air around the monster distorted in an explosion of lights, as it got sucked through space and time into the mind of a newborn baby ant.

"What the Hell happened just now?" exclaimed Naruto into the echoing darkness around him.

He could make out the outlines of large metal bars stopping him from going towards what seemed like the best bet for an exit.

"I'd laugh at you, if this wasn't so immeasurably pathetic," Kyuubi growled from his head.

From that day on, Uzumaki Naruto inhabited the mind of another being, with only a pissed off demon fox to keep him company.

- 12 years later...-

The young ant went by the name of Arizuka Chinpoko. It attended the Ant Ninja Academy until graduation and got into a three-ant-cell of its own. Through this period of time Naruto didn't have a choice but to learn how fascinating twigs, other ants, dry tree leaves, and the rest of the insect population were. He often wondered what went on in Konoha now days, and if anyone cared that he had disappeared - but could ultimately do nothing about it.

One day Chinpoko appeared in front of Naruto in the imaginary mind world.

"You big bad devil! Squeak squeak!" chirped the ant with the tinest of voices.

Naruto sat on the ground cross-legged, his arms crossed on his front. He cracked one eye open to scan through the ground level, and managed to locate the meager bug seeking his attention.

"Come closer..." he answered, with an eerie, hollow voice. Twelve years inside the head of an ant can do wonders to a teenager's temper.

The ant slowly took a few steps closer, scrunching its little face in immense suspicion.

Lightning fast, Naruto stomped it down with his foot. He missed.

"Shit..."

"You... you're an idiot without equal! How the fuck do you expect to kill off the little shit now?"

"Shut up, and let me step on it once more."

Meanwhile the ant reassured itself that its tiny heart wasn't about to explode from overdrive or pop out of its chest.

"You devil! Squeak!" tweeped the ant, with a tiny voice that Naruto had problems hearing. "You live in my head, so you better give me your strength! Squeak squeak!"

"And why would I give you anything?" asked Naruto, honestly confused.

"Because if I die, you die too! Squeak!" it peeped.

"Eh? You're in a danger of some sort?" pondered Naruto aloud, scratching his temple with one finger. Seeing the fervent nodding of the ant, he continued, "Well I guess I don't have much use for this..."

Naruto formed a big ball of chakra between his hands and leaned down to give it over.

"The useless piece of shit can't handle that much chakra at once. The body will instantly combust and leave nothing behind from any of us."

Rolling his eyes towards the ceiling, Naruto answered,"I suppose you're right..."

Naruto split the chakra down in several smaller parts and chose one.

"You idiot, it's the same thing. Split it down more."

Naruto kept splitting it until he had a chakra ball about the size of a drop of water, and handed it over to the young ant.

It disappeared without saying anything.

"Gee, I don't suppose it knows words like 'thank you' or 'please' ..."

"You know, I've wondered about the same thing over the years."

- A couple years later... -

"Checkmate."

"Fuck you."

"It's 'Thank you for the game,' you nitwit bastard."

"Mr. Orange Demon! Squeak squeak!" came the little voice.

"Not you again," grumbled Naruto, face buried in his hands.

"I have several demands for you! Squeak!"

"The sooner you start the sooner I'll get rid of you."

"Firstly, you have to give me all your chakra and knowledge! Squeak squeak!" it demanded with a cheep.

Naruto gave the ant a blank stare.

"No deal, next."

"You have to do this! Or I will... kill myself and take you along with me...! Squeak squeak...!"

"Is that supposed to be a threat? I'm slowly getting the feeling that it would be the easiest way out of here."

"You bastard, I'm going to torture you until the end of afterlife if you do this."

"All right, all right..." answered Naruto, annoyed at the fox demon. "So how do you expect to use even a fraction of my power without dying?"

"The second demand is that you will train me strong enough to handle all your powers! Squeak squeak!" came the chirping answer.

"I don't really have the time for that... I gotta, uhh, scratch my butt and stuff."

"I will kill myself! Squeak!"

"Suffer in the flames of hell, traitor!"

"All right! All right... I'll do it," said Naruto.

- Still some years later... -

"Naruto-senseeeeeeeeeeeeei!" came the squealing voice.

"I'm going to kill that little twerp, some day..."

"It's time for training, Naruto-sensei! Squeak!"

"I propose you kill it slowly," said the Kyuubi, "You can't get any satisfaction just from ending it in an instant."

"Yeah stomping on it would be so good. Then stomping again," he said, shivering in pleasure, "stomping it really good..."

"First you step on it, breaking the legs. Then you step on the head and step on it again and squash it against the ground like a cigarette. Then you step on it, and you step on it, and stomp on it, and step on it, and step and step and step and step step step and make its bones splinter and blood splatter like a fountain, and then you fuck its eye socket and step on it some more and shit on it and feed it to itself and roast it over open fire and then you-"

"Calm down now, Mr. Anxious. We'll get to the good parts, eventually."

"Naruto-senseeeeei!" squeaked the little voice.

"Because I don't even want to think about the remaining option..."

At least, Uzumaki Naruto could say that he had lead an interesting life.