JOSHUATRIPS

CHAPTER TWO: IN WHICH NEKU AND JOSHUA FIND THEMSELVES

Summary: While playing hopscotch with Neku on the top of Pork City, Joshua orchestrates immaculate lack of coordination, and the world suffers for it. And by the world, we mean Neku. Plot involves much slashery, but you should read it regardless, because it's not exactly what you're thinking of.

Did I seriously write slashery *punches 13-year-old self in the face*

Rating: T for yucky stuff and Neku's potty-mouthiness.

OF NOTE IN THIS CHAPTER: Neku gets pantsed. Joshua gets complimented on his hair. Sho and Megumi do stuff nobody cares about.

Genre: PARODY/adventure

obviously the dominant gene is COMPLETE BULLSHIT

It was a beautiful sunny day and Neku was pissed.

Somehow, he (Neku Sakuraba) and Yoshiya Kiryu (otherwise known as "that freaking Joshua") wound up in a curious position. The last thing Neku remembered had been Josh falling forward and grabbing at his shorts for dear life. Next thing he knew, he had been sucked downward by a tremendous force, almost as though he were body-slammed from behind, which was followed by a curious sensation that Neku figured was like being sucked through a straw.

Anyway, the general effect was that Neku wound up sprawled on top of the other boy with his shorts around his ankles.

"DUDE." Neku said loudly. "...THE HELL?"

Joshua emitted a muffled noise from somewhere beneath Neku's nether regions. "Dammit, Joshua! Get outta there!" Neku snapped, certainly not in the mood for this kind of crap.

Joshua's hand began frantically tapping out. "Mrrrmm hrrrmhrrm!" If anyone around had been able to speak Muffled, it would have been clear that Joshua was shouting "GET OFF ME;" however, there was no one with such capabilities around, so it wound up sounding like Josh was eating something tasty.

Repulsed, Neku rolled off the quivering carcass that was Joshua. "Dude! ...DUDE."

Josh gasped for air. "...Good grief, you're so freaking BIG, you almost smothered me, you tremendous lump..."

Neku took that the wrong way and bequeathed to Joshua a boot to the head. Then, he returned to more important matters, such as the affair with his pants. After all his clothes were back on and the breeze was a lot less prevalent, Neku suddenly noticed something.

Hey, the hopscotch thingy is gone...Feeling a sudden sense of foreboding, he glanced over past the writhing Joshua and at the air conditioning unit, but Black Venus was nowhere to be found. What the...? Hey!

"Yoshiya, you fat, pig-disgusting cream puff, what did you do with Black Venus? That was a Darklit Planet! A CAT original!" The Proxy looked close to tearing his hair out - well, Black Venus was a powerful pin, yes, and he had reason to be pissed about their, uh, crash landing, but his sudden outburst of emotion seemed a little out-of-character.

"Ouch... Ugh, well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to toss it around all willy-nilly like a simple coin, then?" Joshua spat, nursing his busted lip, every so often casting a reproachful glance at Neku's big-ass shoes. "...And, by the way, Neku, I'm not fat! You need to understand that the presence of body fat alone does not equal obesity-"

"What did you do?" Neku yelled, practically trampling Joshua in his haste to rip the a/c unit asunder and search for his beloved pin. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! I'm innocent, I swear! Innocence incarnate!" Joshua insisted, rubbing his lip frantically. Why hadn't it healed yet?

"Like HELL you are!" Neku snarled, totally flying off the handle. He felt angry, he felt dizzy, he felt weird - and the latter had nothing to do with the compromising landing at all. It was something in the air... like flies were buzzing in his head, humming and vibrating all through each part of him until his teeth rattled and his eyes ached - making him madder and madder for no real reason. His lungs felt as though filled with a blistering dust storm, a whirling tornado of red-hot sand that burned the tender tube tissues like sparks of fire. It was as almost though he had just sucked in a pound of chili powder. "You're always - the meddler - and, like - breaking shit! All the time! Breaking! Sneaking! AGH!"

He fell to a fit of coughing and sputtering. I-I'm burning! - what the hell...? It spread over his body, like a rash rippling through his entirety, boiling his skin away in spots of bloody red pain, frying his flesh and crumbling his bones into ash. It was crazy.

Joshua arched an eyebrow, seeing Neku thrashing around like a mental patient. "Are you all right?"

"(HORK HARK GACK)"

Now, Joshua felt the same burning, but at least he had the sense to recognize it. Ah, dimension lag. He took a few deep breaths of the strange, prickly air and focused on waggling only his big toe. In no time, the feeling faded away into a dull and subtle buzzing that was easy to ignore.

Now, for the cargo. "Neku, Neku, Neku. Rashly jumping to conclusions, as usual." He rubbed his lip. "I believe I happen to know what happened to your pin."

"OF COURSE YOU DO! YOU BELIEVE YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW EVERYTHING, YOU SMUG LITTLE PIECE OF SNOT!" yelled Neku, who had gone berserk all over the a/c unit and was now scratching violently at his arms. "IT ITCHES-!" Clearly, dimensional hopscotch is unknown territory, Joshua thought with a bit of a smirk.

However. Josh was not about to drag a raving Neku all around this Shibuya. He had already detected a major problem – his Composer powers weren't working, and this was not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. He didn't need to babysit a lunatic besides.

"Neku-kun," he called in as soothing a voice he could muster – his reedy voice was prone to cracking and chafing against the ear, so this was a bit of a feat – and reached out to Neku. He only managed to grab the poor child's leg, but he affixed it in an iron grip worthy of praise and basically shackled Neku's berserker rage to the floor. He attempted to calm the raging beast. "Calm down, you big silly. Your pin is perfectly safe."

Neku rotated his head 180 degrees and blasted Joshua with the most frigid death glare money can buy. How strange, Joshua mused as he felt his nose hairs begin to stiffen, Neku's moods seem to directly affect the weather. "It had better be," Neku whispered in a voice that was deathly quiet.

Joshua struggled to keep the smirk pinned on his face – it wasn't that hard, actually, seeing as how Neku had helpfully flash-frozen Josh's face-meat – and continued. "Relax, please. Take deep breaths. Slowly. Count each breath in seconds - try to get the exhalation to be twice as long as the inhalation."

Neku resisted at first but eventually caved. In minutes he was breathing like an expert yogi, and the frantic clawing at his own flesh had petered down to the occasional scratching.

Joshua nodded. "Yes, yes. Very good! The subject is doing well! Focus on moving something small. Like your toe, or your p-"

"Excuseyou?"

"-inky...?" Joshua blinked, then scowled. "Really, Neku. How old do you think I am, anyway? Three?"

Neku flipped Joshua off.

"That'll do," Joshua said coolly, letting go of Neku's leg and arranging himself into a more comfortable position.

After a moment of this, the bizarre, burning hum faded away from their consciousness. Neku still looked sort of like a hunchbacked gargoyle, but then again that was normal for him. When it seemed that the two had finally achieved some kind of equlibrium with the burning air of this world, Joshua decided it was high time to pump out some exposition.

"Now, Nekkun, there's no need to throw a tantrum. Rest assired, your pin is safe and sound, right where we left it."

"But what your prophetic bullshit fails to take into account is the small detail that... it isn't," Neku grumbled, pointing to the decidedly pin-free crater where the a/c unit used to be.

"Ah, yes. I was getting to that part." Joshua inspected his hand thoughtfully. "I believe we have merely teleported into a parallel world."

He might as well as stuffed a pipe bomb down Neku's shorts, for all the brownie points that got him. "What in the name of sweet, delicious fuck are you talking about now?"

Joshua sighed. "Well, like we...crossed over into an alternate universe."

"An alternate universe," Neku repeated.

"Yes, Neku, very good."

Neku punched Joshua for that, generously adding another colorful blotch to the Composer's pasty face.

"I am not taking ANY of your crap today," Neku announced, cracking his knuckles. "Just TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON, and maybe I won't brutalize you."

"Ow, Neku." Joshua touched his cheek gingerly, wincing. "You have to be careful with me, Nekkun, I'm a delicate flower."

"Then it might be wise to get with the program, eh, Joshy?"

Joshua groaned and added a point to Neku's score. "Ugh. Well, you expelled your revolting nasal fluids all over me, and I panicked, like any reasonable person would. In my brief moment of terror, I must have triggered the universe jump - and when I grabbed you, well... you probably got pulled along in the backlash. That would be my guess." Joshua's face was starting to throb dully. He moaned. "Why did you

Neku snorted. "So just teleport-jump-sneeze us back," he snapped, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I can't exactly do that," Joshua mumbled, lowering a hand from his face and staring at it crossly.

"And why not, Joshua?"

"Because," the smaller boy snapped. "It appears I've lost my Composer status for some reason."

Neku goggled at Josh for a moment. "...Seriously? You're kidding, right?"

Joshua assured him that no, he wasn't.

"But you're like, this age-old, arcane force of divine will, aren't you? That doesn't seem like something you can just... lose, all of a sudden." He rubbed his temples, frowning. "How do you even..."

"Easy, tiger. Don't you go getting a conniption on me now," Joshua said, smiling a little fakily. The truth was, he was the same age as Neku exactly - but nobody needed to know that, now. He was already affable enough, thank you. "It's a regular occurrence, actually. The thing is, you're only Composer on your home turf. If I jump into a world that already has a Composer established, my powers are turned off. It has to do with a person having a stronger vibe in their home world, although now we're touching on some ghastly subjects that aren't exactly light reading." Josh stretched and got to his feet, brushing imaginary dirt off his pants leg. "Anyway, planar-jumping is typically a one-way street."

"Then how am I gonna get home?" Neku asked, looking extremely worried. He smelled a fanfic plot coming on...

"Hmm. Well, I usually just call Mr. H, and he comes and picks me up." Josh shrugged, sliding a hand in his pocket.

"So do it," Neku commanded, pointing at the hand-in-the-pocket.

"Yes sir," Joshua sighed, and pulled out his phone. He had Hanekoma on speed dial, so it was a simple matter of pressing 3 and then waiting for the Producer to pick up.

Only, he didn't. Joshua frowned.

"What?" Neku asked urgently. When answers weren't immediately forthcoming, he tried again: "What's wrong?"

"Shh, don't pester me." Was it just bad reception, or was he out of range? He hadn't jumped too far, had he? That would be just a pain in a plethora of sensitive areas.

A minute of this passed.

Joshua clucked his tongue softly - "Tch." He glanced at his tag-along. "Uhm, Neku, he's not picking up."

Neku gave Joshua a knowing look. "Ah. Lover's quarrel?"

"Very funny." Joshua bit his lip, regretted it, fiddled with his phone for a sec, and put it back on his ear. No difference. "He's... I don't think he's the problem, Neku. I doubt I'm getting through."

"Oh, I see." Neku nodded sagely. "Your phone can take pictures of the past, drop cars from the heavens, call down beams of angelic holy light, and teleport small demons across short distances, but you can't place a call." He stomped his foot and threw up his hands. "Doesn't that, oh, I don't know, DEFEAT THE PURPOSE?"

"Hush, boy," Josh said, holding a finger to his lips. "I think I'm getting something." And although it was blocky and distorted, Josh was, indeed, hearing some sort of ringtone underneath all that interference.

And then, like a shout from across a great distance, there came this blessed word on the other end of the line: "Hullo?"

"Mr. H!" Joshua squealed, overjoyed. "Boy, am I glad you finally decided to pick up, hee hee! We're in a bit of a fix. Neku sneezed all over me and I accidentally teleported us into an alternate reality, so if you could please come and pick us up, that would be just -"

"Hullo?" A wave of static flooded over the faint voice on the other line – sssghh sgssgs gzzzttt... "Hullo? Who is this?"

"It's me, Joshua! Hey, Mr. H! It's Josh! ...Mr. H? Sanae?" Joshua practically shouted into the phone, trying to crush the crackling with his voice. "Sanae!"

"Stupid" - here the audio was obscured by more static - "ing prank calls..." And Sanae Hanekoma hung up.

"No!" Josh yelled, chucking his phone at the nearest person in frustration. It hit Neku squarely in the face, lingered there for a moment, and fell off, but was caught by Neku's ridiculous collar-thing. Neku reached into his shirt, excavated it from the pit of despair, and held it out to Joshua, who reached out to take it.

Neku quickly jerked his arm and dangled the phone out of reach. "First, explain."

Josh looked at the phone miserably. The speaker was still crackling with meaningless noise. "He hung up."

"Why—well, I would too, but...Did you mention Neku was with you?" Neku stared at the god-modded phone in panic. Mr. Hanekoma left him out to dry? That didn't seem right...

Joshua sighed. "I really don't think he could hear me, Neku. There was too much interference."

"Interference from what, now?" Neku said.

Joshua plucked the cell from Neku's fingers and stuffed it back in his pocket. "That's a mystery I'd like to solve. It looks like we're going to have to do a little old-fashioned information gathering before we get anywhere. Just like the good ol' days, right, partner?" He finished that sentence with a smug giggle.

Neku grimaced. Aw, crap. Not this again. "So...what do you have in mind? I can't really scan..."

"I know. Bothersome, isn't it?" Joshua smiled at Neku, who gave him a cross glare in response that said I do not like you, but I'm stuck with you, and survival instinct has kicked in, so I will put up with you as necessity requires, but I DO NOT LIKE YOU. Funny how a single look can say volumes. Joshua was really wishing Neku would stop antagonizing him. "So...I'm thinking that this interference could be coming from one of two places, or a combination of both."

"What."

"...For example, Ovid, this interference could be coming from somewhere down on the streets – say, a bunch of people are calling each other at around the same time, or maybe there's a certain television frequency in this world that's messing with the signal – oooorrr... perhaps Pork City itself is to blame; all the recycled Noise, making a fuss."

"That's nice. So what do we do?" Neku fingered one of his hair spines, twisting it into a deadly point.

"Well, Neku, we simply head for the elevator." Joshua said this as if he were explaining something to a small child, which really ticked Neku off. "We'll go to, say, Ramen Don, and try again. That way, if the static isn't cleared up, we'll know we're dealing with a bigger problem, one that's linked directly to the environment, as opposed to Pork City. We'll go from there."

"Sounds good," Neku grumbled. Man, puttering around Shibuya with you again, it was hell the first time... but, then again, what choice do I have? He thought this in an irritated sort of way, cursing his luck. ...At least something constructive might come out of it now. Still... What a pain.

Joshua put his smile back on and gestured to the stairwell. "Well then, shall we?"

It was a while before Josh noticed something was wrong.

He should have noticed as soon as they stepped out of Pork City, but well, there you go. It took about a minute of walking along the street with Neku plodding behind, swinging his chalk box, before it finally started to bother his conscious – there was something off about this Dogenzaka Hill...

There were some unusual changes in the groundwork of the world itself, to begin with. The air was like golden water, if that made any sense, thick with a floral perfume that made Joshua's eyes water. Oh, good, I'm allergic to the oxygen, he thought with a sniffle. Or, maybe it had something to do with the strange flowery vines choking the buildings, the sidewalk, as if someone had launched rosebushes everywhere and they were now treating the splatter as tasteful décor. Joshua stepped over a stray thorny vine, looking at it disdainfully even through his streaming eyes. Roses don't even grow on vines, but there they were, enmeshing the buildings like so many garden trellises.

But for the life of him, Joshua couldn't quite place what was the real problem. Sure, rose-vines were weird, but he'd seen stranger, like that one world where dinosaurs had never gone extinct and he'd been throttled by a Deinonekus. He glanced at Neku, wondering if his partner had noticed anything odd, but the former Proxy's face was buried so deep in his collar that only the tips of his sunset-colored crown of hair were showing. Well, whatever. Joshua decided it wasn't anything,he was just being paranoid, and put it out of his mind for now. Whatever was strange about the pedestrians would have to wait.

"Hey," Neku said after a minute of walking. "If this is an alternate world...does this mean there will be an alternate...us?"

"Most likely, unless this is one of those It's a Wonderful Life setups where we were never born," Joshua replied, thoughtful.

Neku frowned, staring hard at the street ahead of the pair. "Okay, but... What happens if we bump into them?"

Joshua looked at poor Neku and giggled. "Oh, Shibuya's huge, Neku. I'm sure we won't – ACK!"

He staggered backwards, and fell down on his rear with a bump. Neku would have been able to catch him if he hadn't suddenly had to tie his shoelace – funny, because the rain boots he always clomped around in had button fastens.

"Hee, hee! Oh, my giggly gosh... I'm so sorry!" sputtered the offending person. They tucked their phone away – really, teenagers these days, don't know when to get off the horn – and reached out a hand to help the fallen Composer up.

"That's all right, just be more careful next ti-" Joshua took the offered hand, looked up, and froze.

A somewhat small, svelte youngster with a messy, french-gray mop of hair grinned back at him, dull violet eyes sparkling. A faint blush spread across his pretty face. "I will, I promise! ...Oh, my gosh, dear, I just love your hair! Tee hee hee..."

Somewhere off in the background, Neku snickered. Joshua flushed.

The other Joshua helped him to his feet, smiling like something out of Stepford. It was weird. "Um, so...is this your Neku?" he asked, pointing to Joshua's tag-along.

"I guess so," our Joshua said, carefully. He shot a measured glance at his companion, who quickly pulled his finger out of his nose. Knitting his eyebrows, Joshua felt the feeling of unease that had been stirring in his gut for some time now gain a few pounds. Something was wrong here... but what?

"Gyah-huh! Oh, you lucky duck! I'm sooo jealous." The other Joshua said, playfully smacking Joshua on the arm. "I wish I had a Neku, too... but you know, they go so fast, right?"

"Oh, yeah, they practically walk off the shelves," Joshua grumbled, smoothing out his sleeve with disdain.

"So, what's his type? Is he offense? Or defense?" The other Josh winked roguishly, which was rather revolting. "He's pretty cute, heehee... tugging on his clothes so shyly like that..."

"I can't say that I know," Joshua said, thinking soccer. Did Neku even play soccer? Was this a soccer world or something? He frowned at the cute comment, but chalked it up to common condescension. "Neku?"

"I'm offensive," said Neku matter-of-factly. He was picking on a thread that had wriggled itself out from the hem of his shirt. It reminded him vaguely of Shiki - if she were here, she'd promptly rip his shirt off and embarrass him horribly in front of Statler and Waldorf over there. Gods, he missed her already. "Actually, defensive. It depends."

"Oh. Reversible. I see." The other Joshua nodded knowingly before rounding on Josh again. "You must be so happy! Reversibles are compatible with all types! I... I think I'm on the sub-dominant chord, myself, but I've heard that the more aggressive Nekus are just plain ruthless. I've always wanted a Reversible of my own..." He sighed wistfully and rubbed his stomach area. "Ooh, I can't stand it. He's too yummy. This is just torture..."

Joshua looked on, aghast. Wh-What? "Um, well, he's not that great."

"Really? Well... you know..." A hopeful cast came over the other Joshua's features. "If you're not happy with him, maybe I could take him off your hands?" He smiled cutely and batted his eyelashes.

"Er, no, that's quite all right... Neku. Neku! AHEM." Joshua rapped the boy on his orange head. This was getting a little too weird. "We have to go, Neku. Right?"

"Uh, yeah," Neku said, busy examining the stray thread. It seemed to have doubled in length, thanks to his messing with it. Excellent. Shiki would rip his clothes off if she sawthis monster waggling proudly in the wind. He grinned victoriously to himself.

The other Joshua started giggling. "Aww, you guys..."

"What?" Joshua and Neku snapped at the same time, both feeling rather short with this alternate being already.

"You guys are so...hee hee!" The other Joshua paused to tuck his bangs behind his ear and look at the two knowingly. "Well, I don't want to keep you, so...I'd best be going. I have to meet my San-san at the cafe! Teeheeheehee~! Catch you laters, alligators!" He then started off down the street, humming a tune and exuding a cloying aura of sweetness that seemed to turn the air around him into pink sugar.

Joshua thought he might be sick. "That has got to be the worst one yet," he grumbled, messing with his hair.

"I'll say," Neku remarked. "San-san?"

He then proceeded to dissolve into a fit of barely-stifled laughter. Joshua heaved a ragged sigh. "Can we get going?"

Neku took a deep breath, lips twitching from suppressed snickers. "Sure, sure. We have to call San-san, right?" The thought of this was too much for him and a stream of giggles leaked out of the corner of his mouth. "Pfftheehee..."

Joshua rolled his gaze skyward, cursing whatever holy power had decided that he needed to be the butt monkey today, and proceeded to drag Neku off in the direction of the Ramen Don.

"Irasshai!"

"Kawaii desu," Joshua snapped. He was not in the mood.

Ramen Guy looked at him in disgust and turned away to tend to the ramen contraptions back in the... kitchen. It was about then that Joshua noticed that the Don was a bit different. Scratch that, it was hardly recognizable. The inside was larger than the Shadow Ramen place, and although nobody was dancing on the tables at the moment, it seemed pretty lively. There were customers everywhere, and Josh felt a sinking feeling – no, this wasn't going to be nice and quiet. He muttered something nasty under his breath and scuffed the toe of his nice shoe on the ground.

"He fixed the place up a bit, didn't he?" Neku mused, arms thrown confidently behind his head, chalk box rattling behind his ear.

"So it would appear," Joshua grumbled, fingering his chin. They actually had to wait for a table, sheesh... he despised waiting.

Eventually they were shunted off to a table in the far back reaches of the restaurant. It was actually one of those booth things with the cushy seats. Joshua allowed himself a moment of curious bouncing before he settled down against the wall, hands folded daintily in his lap.

"So..." Neku mumbled, sliding into the seat across from Josh. "The phone, right?"

"Yes." Joshua pulled it out with a flourish and set it on the table. They stared at it for a few minutes, Neku laying his head on the table and Josh propping himself up with his elbows.

"Y'know, Josh... maybe it's a malfunction with the phone itself," Neku offered after some time. He drummed the tabletop with his fingers, humming distractedly.

"Oh, I suppose it's possible, butI'm sure it was working fine last night."

"Did you remember to charge it? Or can the Composer charge electronics simply by being in the room?"

Joshua gave him a withering look. "Of course I charged it, Neku," he spat. "This phone is the most precious thing in the world to me. I never forget to charge it."

"I dunno. You just seem kinda fluff-headed sometimes, when it comes to some stuff." Neku shrugged.

The overly pale boy narrowed his eyes. "Like what?"

Neku shrugged again.

Joshua frowned and stared harder at his cell phone, as if maybe by looking at it hard enough he could crack it open and the problems would escape into the air like steam trapped in a hot pastry.

After a moment, Neku spoke again. Quietly, evenly. "Hey, I just wanted to say... I want to go home. I want to go home, I want to go see Shiki and the rest again... I don't want to be stuck here, okay? I don't want to be your 'adventure buddy.' Don't think for a minute I've forgiven you. I still don't really like you, Joshua; you're all right, but you're a jerk. But I will put up with you, at least until we get home. And let me be blunt: if it turns out we can't ever go home for some reason, you'll have screwed up beyond any remaining hope, and I don't think you will ever redeem yourself in my eyes. Just so you know."

But no pressure.

"I know." Joshua knotted his hands in his hair, never taking his gaze off the little hunk of orange plastic. "...I know."

Neku pulled out a stick of chalk and started doodling on the table.

There was more quiet. The two were kind of at odds at each other, you see. It had been a bit of a while since they had last seen each other, and all of a sudden... this. Well, they didn't have much to talk about, not really knowing or caring much about the other's life.

Neku wouldn't need to contemplate this issue for very long if you asked him about it. It was just kind of hard to want to talk to someone who you clearly remembered bursting out of nowhere and popping a cap up your aorta.

Joshua had stolen his life, but he hadgiven it back, and thanks to a thing Joshua called a "return to the past" the actual killing never really happened. Even so, that didn't make it socially acceptable to go around shooting people while they were trying to appreciate arts. It was kind of, well, rude.

More importantly... the memories just didn't fade.

Neku clearly remembered Joshua seemed to enjoy the act of killing – his face, twisted in a sickeningly triumphant grin and practically glowing with giddy excitement as Neku hit the pavement for the final time, was just a tad too happy for the occasion. In addition, it was a little disturbing that Joshua could come busting out of nowhere, all "Heeeeere's JOSHY!," kill them, and then show up and have a normal conversation with them a week later. Neku consoled himself by saying that the Angels probably wouldn't let a total homicidal maniac be in charge of a town, but still. It freaked Neku out. It would freak anyone out.

When he addressed the problem with logical reasoning on his side, Neku assumed that the concept of death was somewhat cheapened to a warden of the afterlife. As Joshua had the power to bring people back to life, death was probably no big deal to him; therefore, his willingness to let people die was sort of justified. But, you know, that doesn't mean you have to leer like a sicko while you shoot people. Besides, while death might be cheap to Joshua, Neku certainly wasn't planning to die again any time soon - particularly not at Joshua's whimsy.

Anyway. Even though the killing thing had been somewhat resolved, it was everything else that had happened during the Reaper's Game that really bugged him. It had felt like he was in one of those psychological horror movies, with the gambits and machinations of powers beyond his control tugging him along like a simple puppet. And worse – that seemed to be an integral part of dealing with Joshua, like he couldn't help it or something. It was almost as if he were a compulsive asshole.

So, you see, Neku didn't want to forgive Joshua just yet, although he wasn't really mad at him. He didn't want to install the idea in Joshua's head that Neku could be killed at the drop of a hat and it would do little other than mildly inconvenience him, so he was taking his sweet time backing out of the grudge garage. Neku didn't want to hate Joshua, either; Josh was a pretty interesting fellow, despite his prickly nature, and of all of Neku's partners, it had been Joshua who Neku could relate to the most. If he dropped the mind games and the snottiness, maybe then they could get somewhere.

Neku hadn't noticed that Joshua was trying his best to be forward with him, but you know, it takes him a minute to catch on sometimes.

After a moment of spacing out, contemplating the current state of things, Neku realized he had subconsciously doodled a chalk picture of him and Joshua bumping knuckles. He stared at it blankly for a moment, and something ached inside his chest. His heart seemed to remember something his brain had forgotten, like the dusty memory of a once unbreakable bond...

Huh.

Neku glanced across the table at his partner and then back at the doodle. This would only raise teasing questions ("My, my, Nekkun. Is there something you wish to discuss with me?" or something along those lines), so Neku quickly changed the Joshua into Beat, his established bro. Much better.

Joshua, meanwhile, was thinking about gigahertz and system processors, and not about Neku at all. How on earth do you increase the intensity of a phone call? Could it even be done? He furrowed his brow and stuck out his lip, thinking hard.

How was he going to get out of this one? He wasn't getting any bars down here, and if Pork City had chronic interference, then going up wouldn't help. Maybe they could go Grand Theft Auto on a helicopter or something – Josh had his gun in his pocket (just in case) – but who in Shibuya had a helicopter? Maybe if they tracked down this world's Hanekoma, they could ask him for help – but what if he wasn't available in the RG for whatever reason? Joshua grumbled, never in a good mood when he didn't have a plan. Stupid Neku and his stupid sneezes.

Speaking of Neku...

It was around this point that Joshua realized that he was drawing on the table, like a four year old with a crayon box. "Stop that," Joshua snapped. "That's called vandalism, Neku. It's illegal."

Neku snorted. "It'll come off," he said, shrugging.

Joshua did not like how Neku didn't seem to care about this whole thing. Sure, he said he wanted to go home, but... he was being awfully relaxed about the whole thing. Too relaxed. Didn't it bother him at all? Didn't it bother him, just a little, that they were alone, that they had no one to take care of them, no one in the whole dimension...?

He swept his eyes over Neku's tiny chalk mural, toying with the idea that doodling was how Neku vented his angst. A particular drawing caught his eye; a chibi-style Neku and Beat, bumping fists.

Now, the ability to remove one's memories was a brilliant one. It was great to have on hand when surfing the Internets, for one thing. And, if a particular memory brought about unwanted pain, it was easy enough to remove altogether. Joshua didn't quite know what he had forgotten, but looking at that little picture made him suddenly aware of the empty feeling left in place of taken memories. Hm.

He stared at the picture a little longer than was necessary, pursing his lips in thought. Well, if he was missing memories, it was probably for a good reason. He wondered who had taken them, and felt a little twinge of uneasiness. With a frown tugging at his mouth, he wound his fingers in his hair and fiddled with it.

Joshua decided that he himself was getting a little too stressed, and he had left his B-12 supplement at home (bother), so he picked up his phone, opened up the High N Low game, and started clicking away. The therapeutic action of clearing inequalities washed his mind of stress. Greater than one, less than six, equal to four, equal to eight, more than two, less than nine, less than one (ouch), equal to seven, less than three, more than eight (double ouch)...

He was torn away from his clicking by a bop on the head. "Ow... yes, Neku?"

"Dude wants to take your order." Neku jabbed a finger at the waiter.

"Ain't got all day, hectopascals," sneered the waiter. Three guesses who he was, and the first two don't count. "Lemme guess... one shio plus one shoyu equals two happy hectograms, am I right?"

"Actually, we want the Big Catch," said Joshua, just to spite him.

Sho looked at him strangely for a minute, and then shook his head. "Whatever, dudes. I thought your little cult liked the shio, but... whatever." He scribbled something down on a pad and stomped off.

Josh frowned. Cult? What did he mean by – he realized that Neku was talking again. "Are all alterna-worlds as screwy as this one?"

"Screwy?" The lint-haired wonder arched an eyebrow.

"C'mon, dude, look at the bar," said Neku in exasperation. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed?"

The bar? Joshua wondered if Ken Doi was making his restaurant all American-y on purpose, or if the author of this fan fiction simply had no idea how Japanese food-places worked. There was a bar in the back, anyway, with someone serving drinks – he looks like Megumi, Joshua smirked – but the problem wasn't him, it was the people at the bar...

"It's kind of weird how the redheads alternate with the blondes," Joshua remarked, feeling his stomach turn to ice.

"Ahem. Kind of weird how nobody is anything but redhead or blonde, don'tcha think?"

Joshua looked at the other tables, slightly sick. "You're right..."

It was all coming together. The people outside... their clothes may have been different, but they all had the same hair... and the same faces... and the same...

"Joshua..." Neku sat up and glanced at him strangely. "Er, Josh... I'm no expert at this teleporting stuff, but... I would think there's only supposed to be onealternate us."

Joshua massaged his temples, staring at about thirty-four other people with the same curly gray hair and too-big button-down, all of which were sitting relatively close to the various fourteen people with spiky orange hair and stupid-looking J-of-the-M threads.

"Ten out of ten, Neku," he said miserably, slumping forward. "Ten out of ten."

A/N: REWROTED IT a little bit, hehe

less pissing and moaning from neku even though that's kind of his job

also

hi shibuyabeats

i see you