Chapter 2 -

Sousuke lounged uncomfortably in the large leather chair. He had showed up an hour early to the clinic. It was a large complex with a number of nurses and patients bustling about. The waiting room was square with a number of large squishy leather couches. A television in the corner flickered with some sort of mid day soap opera.

"Mr. Sagara?" called the woman behind the enclosed reception area.

"Yes Ma'am." Souesuke replied as he stood and made his way to stand rigidly before the counter.

"Could you please fill out these forms. We also need your insurance card issued through your PMC." she smiled.

Sousuke hated her smile for some reason. He had a strong desire to strike her as his gut wrenched. He hated the idea of being "crazy". He knew he wasn't crazy, and her patronizing attitude only grated on his nerves.

"Affirmative." He replied coldly while he extracted his wallet and the small white card within. "Here you go Ma'am."

Again she smiled as she took the card from his hand daintily. Sousukes' stomach turned.

The questions on the forms were standard. They wanted his name, rank, date of birth, and all the other mundane information they might need to charge him in case his insurance turned down his claim. It wasn't until he got to page three that he reached the "crazy people" questions as he saw them.

"Have you ever experienced a traumatic event?" He spoke softly as he nervously jerked the pen between his index finger and thumb. "Do you have relationship problems that you feel stem from previous traumatic events." A distasteful look spread over his face as he scribbled a curt "Yes."

Sousuke looked up from the clipboard and it's ridiculous contents in order to look about the room for a second nervously. He had made sure not to use the couch that would force him to keep his back to the door. He looked out the glass window at the small crowd in the foyer. His eyes fell upon a soldier in a wheel chair. He shuddered before looking back down at the paper.

"Do you have a strong need to feel secure and in control at all times? Does this include specific compulsive actions or behaviors? (Like ensuring you do not have your back to any entrances or exits etc)"

Sousuke coughed uncomfortably.

After several more minutes of filling out the paperwork he stood and made his way back to the reception. "I have accomplished the assigned task and completed this paperwork to the best of my ability." He spoke before handing the clipboard to the woman.

She replied with another smile before informing him that the Doctor would see him shortly.

The soap opera was uninteresting to the say the least and Sousuke spent his time day dreaming about how his meeting with the Doctor might go. He imagined himself being removed from the Office in a straight jacket and forced to languish in some sterile dungeon some where. He wondered if the psychiatric home was where all old soldiers went to die, forced to eat apple sauce and watch Mash* reruns until they hung themselves with their own socks.

He felt morbid.

After several more minutes of intense inner dialogue about the best way to end ones own life in a mental institution he was stirred from his reverie by another female voice.

"Sousuke Sagara." Came a strong voice from the doorway. "Welcome sir, the Doctor will see you now."

"Thank you." Sousuke replied as he followed the young women into the back area.

His eyes wandered as he walked. Directly to his right sat the receptionist, her desk framed with pictures of herself and a man hugging in exotic locations. A small clock shaped like a cat with it's paw in the air was prominent next to the computer she used to input patient records.

To Sousukes' left was a large painting of a beautiful ocean side vista. It reminded him of an incident that occurred in Israel near the dead sea. He had been engaged in heavy fighting with insurgents attempting to enter the Country in order to assassinate a prominent Israeli Cabinet Member. His team had responded with members of an elite IDF unit. A picture perfect snapshot of a combatant wearing traditional middle eastern clothes armed with an AK-47 falling backwards as his head popped like a grape from the 7.62x51 caliber bullet from his rifle played over and over in his mind.

He stopped looking around the Office until he was settled into the doctors Office.

"Mr. Sagara. Welcome to my Office." spoke a medium height man with a well trimmed mustache. He wore an expensive suit with an over coat that closely resembled a lab coat. "My name is Dr. Arlend."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Sousuke lied.

"Please sit down." The Doctor motioned to a large leather chair in front of his heavy oak desk. "I want to start by going over some of your paper work with you. This is just a way for us to get to know each other better."

"As you wish." Sousuke spoke with a nod.

The Doctors voice was even and it appeared to Sousuke that he wasn't being prejudged. He had been on the defensive, but as their small talk continued he began to relax into his own skin.

"Then I stabbed my target in the throat with my bayonet..."

The doctor scribbled notes.

"There wasn't as much blood as I thought the first time I shot someone. I expected more. I guess every 8 year olds imagination runs wild though."

More scribbling.

"I can't watch movies at the theater any more. My hands sweat and I feel light headed. I am terrified that my heart could stop at any minute. It's been a strain on my relationship."

"Please, tell me about your relationship with Kaname. I see you listed her as your wife." The Doctor interrupted.

"Well, we are not married yet sir." Sousuke continued. "I don't think we will be. My... nightmares, eccentricities... the "craziness" as she puts it has become too much for her."

"I noticed you use the word crazy when you refer to your condition." The Doctor paused as he caught Sousukes grimace.

"I don't like the word condition. Illness. I don't like these terms. They imply that something is wrong with me." Sousuke gazed at the floor. "I am not sick."

"Sousuke. I want to be frank with you here." The Doctor adjusted his seating position before continuing. "You have experienced a countless number of traumatic events since an early age. It would be irresponsible for me to try to sugar coat your issues and to be even more frank, it would be unfair to you."

Sousuke nodded slowly.

"You have had these negative life experiences, and while you have contributed to the world so much, you have also given parts of yourself that you can never regain. It's not fair to you that you are unable to enter a movie theater or eat at certain restaunts simply because flashing lights in the darkness and certain smells are triggers to your emotional and physical response to stress."

Sousuke felt a deep form of anxiety rumble in his stomach as he began to dread what the Doctor could be getting at.

"I am going to present my diagnosis to your commanding Officers. I feel that you are experiencing what is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You may have heard this referred to as PTSD."

"I have. It is a career destroyer."

"Don't consider your diagnosis as a door closer. Think of it as an opportunity for you to rebuild your life." The Doctor gazed softly at Sousuke before continuing. "You deserve a chance to recapture some of what you have lost."

"I... see." Sousuke breathed as tears began to well in his eyes.

"Please wait here." The Doctor stated as he stood and exited the room.

Sousuke assumed that the Doctor had left in order to procure the straight jacket and several strong men to begin their assault. He refused to face the door as he relaxed into his fate. He was ready. There was no world for Old Soldiers. No where to go. He was ready to go peaceably into the darkness.

"Sousuke?" came a soft feminine voice.

"Captain?" Sousuke replied as he turned in his seat to law eyes on Captain Tessa Testarossa.