Digging Up The Past
Chapter 2
Mike watched as the young man walked up the grassy embankment and reaching into the trunk he took up one large tray of plants and some planting tools and closing the trunk after himself he followed him, watching his footing as he went. As Mike reached the top and stepped through the line of trees, he sucked in a deep steadying breath. This part of the Cemetery was definitely the oldest and the graves here were in various stages of neglect and disrepair. He noted perhaps at a guess an expanse of maybe up to two hundred graves but their current state left room for error in his calculations. The difference here though was compared to the open spaced plan of the newer graves these graves were dotted among tall trees and while the trees here and there gave a certain amount of shade in patches from the heat of the sun, their towering presence also gave the overall area a darkened, almost surreal atmosphere of shadow and foreboding.
A lot of the graves were overgrown with brambles and weeds and some of the headstones were cracked or broken, their names long since faded or covered by moss. Some of the graves had sunk visibly and held no trace or sign of a living relative left to tend them. It was a depressing sight and Mike found himself agreeing with Steve about the creepiness of this part of the Cemetery.
Mike saw Steve walking off to his left and quickly followed so that he wouldn't lose sight of the young man. As he picked his way through the neglected graves, he finally caught up with the younger man and found himself whispering.
"Yes ... I see what you mean ..."
Steve turned and cast an uneasy glance towards his partner, an unspoken "I told you so" look crossing his face. His sunglasses now removed and dangling from his jacket pocket, his look held a certain amount of sadness and apprehension as he merely stopped where he stood and glancing down he pointed at a place on the ground where part of the soil had given way recently.
"Watch your step over here. There's been some subsidence in patches. We don't want you falling in and joining the residents, now do we?"
While Steve's voice held a hint at humor, behind the words there was a definite tone of concern that belied his attempt to gloss over his nervousness. Mike nodded and picked his way past the area more carefully watching where he placed each foot and then glancing up he saw Steve stopped and staring at a grave to his left. The grave where he stopped definitely looked like it had been worked on recently and as Mike approached slowly and stood beside his partner, his eyes studied the headstone Steve was staring at. The names underneath had faded just as Steve had mentioned and yet the large name at the top carved out of the old stone clearly read "KELLER". Mike glanced at the grave beside it and saw the amount of thorny bushes and brambles that adorned it. Comparing it to the one they were now standing at, Mike saw with his own eyes the amount of work that had gone into clearing it last week.
The grave itself was fully clear of weeds and there was a small pile of stones just behind the headstone that Mike assumed that Steve had cleared by hand from the soil. There were two pots of Roses sitting in the middle, a little precariously on the uneven surface, one with a Mother's Day message attached that again Mike assumed Steve had left there on his previous visit. He looked up at Steve who hadn't budged and watched his chest rise and fall as his emotions clearly wavered. For one of the rare times in their relationship as partners, Mike felt at a loss for what to say. It felt strange to be standing here at Steve's parents grave and so he merely reached out and grabbed the young man's arm in support and spoke softly.
"You ok?"
Steve never turned to look at him, his gaze still focused downwards but his voice broke the eerie silence in a heart wrenching tone.
"It's hard to believe that they're down there, you know? Right here under my feet. The two people I remember as a kid. "
Mike dry swallowed as he heard Steve's tortured words. He knew exactly how the boy was feeling. He remembered the day as clear as if it were yesterday when Helen's coffin had been lowered into her final resting place. Although Mike's faith comforted him to believe that her spirit was no longer there, the mere thoughts of burying the familiar and much loved remains of his wife into the cold and dark soil had burned a scar into his heart that day and never fully sat well with him ever since but it was part of the never-ending circle of life. Relying on his strong faith as back up, he started to try and comfort Steve.
"Steve, their spirits aren't here ... Just their remains ... that's all. "
Mike's words visibly brought no sign of comfort to Steve so Mike felt he needed to move them on from the current melancholic moment.
"Boy! If your parent's grave looked anything like that one, no wonder your hands and arms were covered in cuts and blisters last Saturday. You be careful you don't open some of those back up today now that they're finally starting to heal."
The talk of the work he had done dragged Steve back from the depths of his sorrow and he forced a half smile at Mike before speaking.
"Yeah ... it was tough going but it still needs to be dug properly and evened out a little. We better get started before the heat of the Midday sun kicks in. It's starting to get hot already."
"Good idea. There's not a breath of wind out here today. I must say I miss the San Francisco sea breezes now. Make sure to remind me not to complain about them again in future, will you?"
Finally a genuine smile returned to Steve's face as the usual banter returned between them along with the realization of the comforting and reliable presence of his partner unlike the eerie loneliness he had felt the week previously while he had worked here alone.
"Yeah, me too. I'd forgotten how dry the air is out here when it's hot."
"Ok, what's the plan of action Buddy boy?"
"Alright. I'll do the digging and if you don't mind sorting the plants for me please and ah ... scrubbing down the headstone, that would be great."
Mike clapped his hands together enthusiastically.
"You got it."
Both men then started working without further hesitation. Steve began digging just enough to turn over the topsoil and even out the area as best he could, but the soil was dry and rock hard and coarse and rock filled and it proved to be an arduous task. As the Californian sunshine began to heat up and blazed down on them through the gaps in the trees, baking them from a clear blue expanse of sky, Steve stopped roughly an hour later, his jacket long since removed and draped over a long handled shovel standing in the ground. His T-shirt was showing signs of the hard work he had put in, a thin line of perspiration now visible down along his spine. He pulled up the bottom of his T-shirt and used it to wipe the sweat from his face and neck. He stood catching his breath and wiped along his brow with the back of his hand, his chest heaving from the exertion.
The digging was progressing nicely but there was still a long way to go to get it to the worrying degree of perfection that Steve had in mind for it and as he stood assessing the enormity of the task he had undertaken, Mike's voice to his right, drew his attention.
"Here, catch Buddy boy." he called out tossing a water bottle in Steve's direction from where he was positioned at the gravestone, shaded somewhat by the tree that stood a short distance behind him.
Catching it gratefully, Mike spoke again, his voice laced with audible concern.
"Go easy with that digging Steve. It's getting very hot. If you're not careful you'll get dehydrated very quickly. "
"Yes Mom ..." Steve stated humorously and then regretted the automatic words as soon as they left his lips, the words that usually made him smile, suddenly feeling highly inappropriate in his current situation and making him feel a little ashamed for uttering them.
Mike saw his reaction and felt sorry for the young man and watched as Steve's gaze continued downwards before he slowly opened the bottle and lifted it, savoring the cool liquid, as he swallowed several mouthfuls down his parched throat. Then he poured some into his hand and wiped it up over his face and the back of his neck as he felt the heat of the sun, burning against his skin. Mike was studying his partner carefully and watched as Steve rubbed at the bridge of his nose and at his eyes, and he spoke again this time in a more authoritative tone.
"Come on, take a break will you? Come over here in the shade for a while otherwise you're going to end up a little on the pink side before too long. Or worse yet you're going to end up with heatstroke. You know ... why you young people don't wear hats is beyond me! I could have loaned you one of my fedoras you know."
That statement broke through Steve's down turned mood and a wry smile appeared on his face
"No offense Mike but I don't think your fedora would suit me. Besides ... it looks better on you ..."
Patting the ground beside him as he turned and sat down himself, Mike spoke again insistently.
"Come on. Get your duff over here for a while ... We've got all day to work on this ... A few breaks in between won't do any harm. COME ON."
Steve stood still, staring at Mike, his breathing still uneven and a resigned smile replaced the wry one. The heat and the feeling that there was so much more left to be done causing a distinct slump in his motivation. Dropping the shovel to the ground carefully, he stepped over the surround stones to where Mike was seated and dropped heavily down onto the ground beside him. Looking at the headstone, now half scrubbed clean and looking decidedly better than it had before he spoke gratefully to the older man.
"You're doing a good job there Mike ... Thanks ... "
"Well you are too Buddy boy. Looks like hard work though. But you're getting there ..."
Steve didn't look convinced and sighed heavily before drinking more from the water bottle in his hand. Mike spoke again feeling the need to rally him around a bit.
"It's not easy work. The ground is very dry. Looks pretty rocky too. But we'll have it perfect before we leave. Don't you worry about that."
Steve smiled again uneasily across at Mike, appreciating his support but feeling more deflated by the minute. Mike noticed the thin line of perspiration down Steve's back and smiled.
"Say I hope you brought a change of clothes for yourself. Otherwise we're going to have to drive back home with the windows open later ... Huh?" Mike spoke teasingly, referring to the perspiration stains that were now spreading across Steve's back.
Steve laughed and drank more water.
"Don't worry ... I brought a change of clothes. Oh Man! It's boiling today ..."
Steve brought his knees up towards his chest and then lay back on his elbows so that his top half was now in complete shade from the blistering sun and stared unnervingly ahead of him. Mike could tell that something was chewing on him and taking a second bottle of water and drinking some from it slowly, he leaned back to join the young man.
"I'll give you a penny ..."
Steve looked sideways at the older man and a curious look crossed his face.
"What?"
Mike grinned.
"For your thoughts ... What's going on in that head of yours, huh?"
Steve smiled at Mike's perceptiveness and shook his head.
"I don't know. It just ... It looks so different here now ..."
Mike's curiosity rose further.
"What? Since last week?"
Steve shook his head again.
"No ... Since ... Since their funeral. I remember those trees looked taller ..."
"Well I think it was more that you were shorter rather than the trees being taller ..." Mike added humorously.
Steve nodded.
"Yeah ... Yeah you're probably right about that. I remember that grassy bank too. Harry was carrying me and ... and I ... I was crying and screaming ... He almost lost his footing on the way down and when he got me to the car I remember seeing everyone staring at us from the tree line on top of the bank. All those eyes ... just staring ..."
"That was a tough thing to go through for a five year old Steve. "
Steve merely nodded and he continued talking, his eyes now focused on his parent's grave.
"You know what's funny Mike? The gravediggers that day freaked me out shoveling soil on top of them and yet here I am digging it up myself all these years later. Ironic ... huh?"
Mike smiled.
"Yeah ... It's amazing how the passage of time changes our perspectives Buddy boy. "
Steve sighed heavily and then taking one more large drink of water, Steve sat back up and spoke.
"Ok ... Better get back to work. It won't dig itself, huh?"
He went to get up but Mike grabbed his arm. "
"You sure you had enough of a break?"
Steve smiled at Mike's overprotective question and nodded.
"Yeah ... I feel cooler now."
"Ok but if you get hot and bothered like that again you come and rest for a bit, alright?"
"Yes Sir! " Steve replied regimentally as Mike lashed out and hit his rear end on his way up.
"Hey!"
Another hour and a half passed quickly as Steve continued the hard part of the digging and had most of it all evened out but it still wasn't as good as he wanted it to be. By now visibly baking in the Midday Sun, Mike was plying him continuously with water to keep him hydrated and made him take two ten minute breaks in the shade in between much to Steve's dismay. Mike had the headstone all cleaned and ready for the names to be repainted on and he also had the plants all ready to be planted. They were making excellent progress but Mike knew Steve was getting uneasy. He watched the young man dig at a particularly stubborn rock that was half buried near the end of the grave and wasn't surprised when he heard Steve suddenly lose his temper and throw the shovel down on the ground and kick at it in frustration.
"DAMN IT!"
Mike rushed over and grabbed Steve's shoulders from behind.
"Ok, ok ... Calm down, will you? "
"I CAN'T get that one OUT Mike ... "
"I know ... I know ... I saw ok? Just take some deep breaths. Steve? I know this is frustrating and I know you want it to be perfect and you're all heated up and hot and bothered ..."
"I AM NOT hot and bothered ..." Steve yelled and then watched as Mike raised an eyebrow and stared at him in partial amusement as he watched sweat drip from Steve's hair and looked at his top now practically soaked through with sweat. Realizing in Mike's look, the irony of what he had just yelled, he finally calmed and ran a hand through his hair that now felt sticky and unpleasant to the touch. Mike saw the change and smiled.
"You're not huh?"
Steve finally chuckled and spoke apologetically.
"Sorry Mike ... You're right. I am. I just ... I just want to get it right you know?"
Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder and spoke caringly.
"Hey! I KNOW you do. And we WILL get it right. I promise you. You've done a great job so far but you're just getting tired. Why don't you go sit down for a few minutes in the shade and let me get that last stone out for you, ok? What do you say? Will you let the Stone look after the stone, huh?"
That made Steve laugh and he nodded wearily. He WAS feeling a little worn out as the overbearing Midday heat drained him of energy. Returning to the shade, he sat back down on the ground and got a drink of water. Pouring some over his head and hair too and shaking his head to dispel the drops of moisture, he basked in the cool shade and watched as Mike expertly dug around the large rock until after ten more minutes he gently removed it and held it up much to Steve's astonishment, pride at his accomplishment showing all over Mike's face.
"How the hell did you get that out? I've been working at that for the last half hour and it hasn't budged."
Mike laughed and explained.
"Well Buddy boy , when you come across a big rock like that, the trick is to chip away at what's holding it up and then you can remove it easily. Actually that works for most troubles in life ... Don't you think?"
Steve listened to Mike's words and knew immediately he was referring to the many large rocks of trauma that still affected him about his childhood in Modesto. With Mike chipping away at everything that troubled him, he figured that with Mike's help he too could probably remove a few of those issues that were bothering him too.