Thanks for the reveiws guys! Also, this chapter really doesn't have anything to do with the last. It's just a song that spread through two one-shots.
Awaywegoo..
Monk POV.
We sit at her breakfast table, directly across from each other. She is reading her old, battered copy of Little Women, and I, the newspaper.
Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I watch her over the top of my paper; she seems so composed. She seems to have everything under control, as usual. This morning she drove me to my errands, brought me to her home, we had lunch... she's acting as if everything is normal. I, myself, feel like I'm falling apart- I feel my heart beating painfully in my throat, and my fingers twitch when not occupied (I am gripping the newspaper too tightly, and I'm constantly ripping the thin paper). I know this feeling too well. It's too familiar, too painful, this feeling I associate with loss and death.
How can you be so calm about this?!
And I see it- the twitch of her lip. And I know. She's trying to control her emotions.
Her composer is only what one can see.
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand
I stand abruptly, my chair making a screeching sound against the tile floor.
"Natalie," I say, before sitting in the chair nearest to her, and without hesitation, take the book out of her hands. She looks at me, surprised, when I take her hands in mine.
"Mr. Monk," she says; that twitch of her lips is gone, but her mask of composer still remains lost; I can see how she really feels. She is afraid. "What's gotten into you?" She tries to move away from me, but I only hold her cold, thin hands tighter.
"Natalie," I try to say; my voice is hoarse from the unshed tears, and my words come out as croaks. I want so badly to say so much, but at this moment, all I can say is: "Natalie."
And I literally watch her crumble before my eyes. Her strong features melt sadly, her erect posture crumples. "Mr. Monk," she says softly, tears leaking from her blue eyes. "It was never supposed to end like this," she says so quietly, that I must strain to hear her voice.
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before
"Hey." I frown and squeeze her hands, swallowing my fear. "It's not the end yet, so don't say... don't say that it is." Her lips tremble, and she ducks her head, her thin hair covering her face. "Natalie, look at me." She responds with nothing but a sniff. "God Natalie, look at me. You can't act like this is the end."
She looks up at me now, her eyes wide and filled with tears, and she looks so young. My breath lodges in my chest, and I can't breath. She is too young to die, especially of cancer, and I though I am aged, I am too young to let someone go again.
"I... We..." I close my eyes, and clear my thoughts; but her face, sad and scared and beautiful, is burned in my retnas. I take a breath and open my eyes. "I've learned that if you say it's the end, it is. The outcome we fear most happens... we always live up to our expectations.
"So... God, Natalie... So don't say it's the end."
And I pull her into my arms, holding her against me with all I have.
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
My best friend cries softly against my chest, and I lay my cheek against her soft hair, hoping, praying, wishing for the first time in a long time for a miracle.
Don't let me go...
I will not let go.
So, if you guys like this chapter, I think that I'm definitely going to turn it into a full blown story. It's been on my mind for a while, and this chapter might've been a good introduction or teaser of sorts... Sound like a good idea? If it were to be a story, it would probably explain some things... like how he's more comfortable touching her. Has anyone else noticed that in the show? So. Freaking. Happy.
Oh, and was this chapter any good? I'm sort of nervous about it.. hm.
Thanks loves,
-Rosie.