A/N: Hey guys, thanks for much for the reviews and favourites for this story so far. I'm still really new to this website so forgive me if I don't really know how to do anything. There's definitely going to be a few more chapters to this story, but I really have no idea how many. I could keep babbling on for about fifty chapters but I'm pretty sure it would get fairly boring, so I wont do that. Anyway, I'm pretty sure there will be NO SLASH in this story. There will be Pepper/Tony and probably Jane/Thor.
Harry was pissed.
Actually no, pissed was a severe understatement. He was about two seconds away from going into his 'Fuck everyone step away' mood, which was what Ron liked to call it. The last time he went into that mood, he had destroyed nearly half of the Forbidden Forest and it had taken a hell of a lot of grovelling on his part to get Hagrid to stop looking at him like he had murdered his favourite puppy.
He wasn't even supposed to be in this bloody city! Seriously, he just pretty much saved a bunch of lives and his reward was getting shoved into a room with Nick Fury and the team he was now slowly realizing was the Avengers.
The next time he saw Kingsley, he was going straight for his wand.
So here he was, sitting in a stiff black chair (was everything around this place black? Really?) in a giant floating ship, surrounded by assassins, norse gods, 'iron man' who wasn't really iron but some other metal thing, spangles, and his life was so fucked up, seriously.
"Look," Harry sighed, leaning back and propping his feet on the table in front of him. "I'm just here on vacation. It's been interesting."
Stark snorted, his armour now off his goateed face in full view.
"How old are you, kid?" He asked, surveying Harry disbelievingly. "You look like you should still be in school."
Harry bristled a little, because he wasn't that short. "I'm an adult," he said shortly. "And you're not exactly that tall yourself."
Stark looked surprised for a second, then his face stretched out into a grin. "I like you," he said, leaning over to slap Harry on the back so hard he nearly doubled over. "And you just saved my life, so I figured I should be a little grateful. Midget, you have the Stark seal of approval."
"Oh brilliant," Harry said dryly. "My life goal has now been achieved."
"So," Spangles said tentatively. "How did you do all those things? Are you from Asgard? I've never seen a normal human do the things you do."
Harry flinched a little, a bit insulted at the 'normal human' part. "I'm completely human," he said coldly. "I was born on Earth, raised on Earth, and I'll die on Earth. Just because I can do things others can't doesn't make me anything else. I've never seen a normal human jump over eight cars and land on a truck, Captain, but somehow I don't believe you're alien."
Rogers looked taken aback, red rising up in his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he hurriedly added. "I didn't mean to offend you."
"Although my fellow Asgardians would be honoured indeed to have borne this valiant warrior, Harry, son of Potter, is not of Asgard. He is of Midgard, as are the rest of you. However, I am much baffled to the use of his sorcery. It is not unlike that of my brother, Loki." Thor boomed, because he seemed incapable of speaking in normal human decibels. Harry grinned a little at him, because he reminded him of Ron a little, albeit without the cape and the weird way of speaking. Plus, Thor reminded him of a huge, overgrown puppy.
It was at that moment that a giant holographic screen shot up just a few inches from Harry's nose. Harry pushed his chair back a little and his wand appeared in his hand instantly.
"Relax, short stuff." Stark said, grinning at him reassuringly. "Is that you?" he added, pointing to the screen, which was now showing a huge picture of Harry himself in seventh year. Harry was looking away from the camera, his hair tousled, with the Gryffindor sword in one hand and blood splattered across one cheek.
Harry grimaced. "Who the hell took that photo, anyway? I look like an idiot."
"If I recall correctly," Fury answered with the slightest tinge of amusement in his voice. "A young boy took a few photos like this. Colin? Colin Creasy?"
Harry felt a pang, deep in his stomach, remembering innocent, blue eyes and that hopeful, puppy look. Remembering the coldness of his skin, the utter lifelessness- "Creevey. Colin Creevey." He corrected, trying to keep his voice steady. The rest of the room seemed to notice, however, and didn't meet his gaze.
Meanwhile, Banner was flicking through his file with a look of awe. "The wizarding world? You're a wizard? How do we not know about this?"
"Statute of Secrecy," Harry answered promptly. "But since it's pretty much been shot to hell now, anyway, you may as well read through the files."
Harry waited as the rest of the team flicked through his file, noting their reactions with interest. The two assassins barely seemed to show any reaction, except for a low whistle from Barton. Thor just read through everything without giving two shits, but since his brother was pretty much high on magic all the time, it was kind of understandable. Rogers looked dumbstruck by all he was reading, and Banner and Stark looked like the information they were processing was going against their religion. Seriously, their faces were Oscar-worthy.
"Harry? Harry!" A shrill voice came, out of nowhere, and everyone jumped. Fury, Romanoff and Barton had guns out immediately, looking for the source of the noise. Harry held out his hands in a peace gesture, before reaching his entire arm into his pocket (Stark's eyes popped out of his head), and drew out a mirror. Hermione's face filled the screen, her hair somehow seeming bushier than normal, and her brown eyes wide and concerned.
"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed, giving her a cocky grin and a wave. "What's up?"
The people in the room with him gave him an incredulous gaze, except for Fury, who just looked on with his usual unfazed expression. Harry rolled his eyes and gave them the 'yes, I am talking to a mirror, what are you gonna do, arrest me?' expression before Hermione's voice rang loudly in his ears.
"Oh my MERLIN, Harry, you have no idea how worried I was, I heard you went to New York for a vacation and my Mum and Dad just told me that it's getting invaded or something by aliens and I didn't believe them but they showed me the news on the television-"
"The what?" another voice cut in, and suddenly Ron's flaming hair was there too, hurriedly getting pushed away by Hermione's hands.
"Oh, honestly, Ronald, the television, I showed it to you only last week!"
"Oh, that weird thing Muggles use? Of course I know what that is, wait is that Harry? Oh hey Harry! Can you believe this woman, honestly, what sort of a word is television anyway?"
"Ron, the word television is not that difficult to understand, just because your brain capacity is too feeble to comprehend it!"
By this point, most of the people in the room looked completely baffled. Stark, for one was cracking up, bending over the table and taking great, wheezy breaths.
"Hey, mate," Harry said. "Hermione, I'm fine, I'm alive, everything's cool. Nothing really happened-"
Here, Rogers eyebrows floated up to his hairline, and Agent Barton snorted. Loudly.
"And I'm kind of in the middle of something, so I'll talk to you guys later, okay? And tell Kingsley that the next time he sees me, he better run. Bye!"
Harry shoved the mirror back into his pocket, ignoring the squawks of disbelief it was emitting, and looked around at the Avengers. "Right then. Where were we?"
"Who's Kingsley?" Agent Barton asked curiously, looking at Harry like he was a puzzle. Harry shrugged (he seemed to be doing a lot of that today) and said "The Minister of Magic. Basically your equivalent of the President."
"You threatened the President?" Romanoff asked starchly.
"Yeah, we're mates. His kids hate me, though. Ah, well." Harry looked at Fury. His vacation time was running out, and he really just wanted to leave. "Can I go, now?"
Fury just looked at him. "No, Potter you may not. You came to my city, unannounced and used powerful magic to slaughter about sixty percent of the Chitauri. You need to be debriefed."
"Whoa, whoa whoa!" Harry said, bristling. "You're making me sound like a threat, Director."
"Aren't you?" Fury replied, fixing his eye on Harry unwaveringly.
Dick, Harry thought. "No, I'm not. And you certainly didn't think so when you tried to recruit me into your top secret boy band before, either. I refuse to be debriefed, I refuse your offer to join the Avengers, again, and I would rather to be let off this weird ass Howl's Moving Castle instead of fighting my way out."
"He never offered for you to join the Avengers again," Banner said after a brief silence.
"No, but he was going to. So, are we done here?"
Fury glared at him a moment more, then sighed. "Look, Potter. You're the only magic user on this ship right now. We've attempted to interrogate Loki already several times, and failed. He keeps tricking us somehow. I'm asking you to try, then you're free to leave. Do we have a deal?"
Harry looked at the Director of the top secret government agency in the world, who was asking him to interview a possibly insane, powerful half God, and thought how he just really, really wanted a holiday.
Aw, screw it.
"I accept," Harry said, rising out of his chair. He sighed, long and heavy. He had an interview with a god to get to.