Thanks for all the feedback (I'm still searching for a beta hehe message me). Reviews=Chapters=Happiness. Simple. Sorry if this chapter seems a little weird, I was a little, erm, out of it (Let's go with that) last night and listening to Arctic Monkeys.
Kili sighed. He heard Fili's cheers in the distance, vague and hollow in his ears, as his muscles became thin and tight with the simple action of his bow. He was tired, utterly exhausted. As he released his weapon, his foot stumbled. Curses slipped past his lips as the arrow missed its target and crashed against the stone wall. Fili became silent, his eyes darting to the growing pile of arsenal slowly gathering towards the side of the target. Kili abandoned his bow and stomped his feet. He pushed his gaze to the floor, contemplating the pattern of his shoes, and ignoring the heavy breathing of his brother and his uncle's consort.
He stormed out of the training area. He heard Bilbo's worried shouts, his kind voice filled with concern. Fili was equally bewildered, but much more forward in his actions, racing up to his kin and grasping him on shoulder. Kili twisted his feet to avoid moving towards his brother, and ripped the hand from his body. He was angry, he was completely overwhelmed with anger. He had failed in his race, he thought, he had failed his uncle and his brother, even Bilbo had been sending him sympathetic looks. He did not want to converse about his time, or his age, or his destiny. This was one time too far. He hadn't made a single mark this session! How could he let himself down? How could he let his kinsfolks down?
He was angry at himself. Angry for thinking of an she-elf and wondering if she thought of him. He knew it was silly to have thoughts of someone he had only been infatuated with for a week, someone he had not seen in two years, but he could not distract his mind from his love riddled ideas.
"Kili! Don't you dare turn your back on me!" Bilbo's firm voice rang in his ears.
He stopped. Thorin had picked the hobbit for a reason, he was not a matter to be reasoned with. And he saw into Kili's heart better than anyone ever had-he had a knack for unscrambling the puzzle that is a dwarf. He had avoided Bilbo for this very reason, and had yet to be cornered by the small creature. He saw Fili out of the corner of his eye, watching the blonde carefully, wondering if he would open his mouth and speak. He knew he had been worried- Kili had been sloppy, slovenly, and incredibly lax about his duties, about his fighting, about his personality even. Well, those are the words he had so delicately crafted and spoken to Kili a few months back. He had almost tripped his brother when the syllables had left his mouth.
"What is wrong with you Kili?" Bilbo spoke again. "And I expect a proper answer."
Kili gulped. He sent a glare Fili's way, and instantly regretted it when he spotted hurt cross his brother's face. Fili nodded nonetheless and quickly scurried out of the hallway. Although a harsh move, if he was going to be interrogated by Bilbo, he'd rather do it alone. The hobbit crossed his arms and frowned, watching as Kili straightened and leaned against the wall. He looked furious, but Bilbo spotted pure fatigue, brought on by unbearable emotion, lurking just beneath the surface. He had been worried about his-almost nephew, for a year or so.
"Kili. You were so happy, when we arrived back in Erebor. And now you have deflated, it's as if all the happiness has been drained from your spirit. What has happened to you?" He began.
Kili stiffened, refusing to reply directly. He mumbled slowly under his breath. Bilbo huffed and began to tap his large feet against the hard floor. "Speak up, I don't think I heard you."
"I-I was happy. I was relishing in our victory. And for months-I was satisfied. I was not depressed, I was not distracted as I am now."
"So you admit to your sadness?" Bilbo pushed.
Kili smirked. "I could never hide anything from you, you understand that, don't you?" Bilbo nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. The grin slipped off his face as he waited for Kili to continue.
Damn, he hadn't been able to escape Bilbo's calculating gaze, not even with slight humor. "But then I was reminded. When we went on the outing, to visit Laketown and Dale."
He took a deep breath. For some reason, he thought all of Erebor was staring at him, he saw his brother's face flash in front of his eyes, Thorin's disappointed stare. Dwain's angry glare, Balin's sympathetic nod, Nori's astonished expression. He began to shake. But this sadness was hurting him more than the thought of his own failure to his family, and that bothered him. It bothered him immensely.
"No! Bilbo, I am, I am too wrapped up in the image of her! I saw the starlight on that outing, and she came back to me, like a bad-no a good reminder…I don't know…" He cradled his head in his hands, almost brought to sobs.
Bilbo was suddenly at his side, his small hand touching his head, patting it softly. Bilbo felt warm, Bilbo felt safe. He knew why hobbits were such peaceful creatures, and he envied their minds, he wished he could bring such philosophy into his own life-to settle his emotions. "It is the elf, isn't it? I knew she had touched your heart Kili. All you had to do was admit it."
Kili whipped his head up. "Admit it? How can I admit it? How can I admit that I think of her, an elf, all the time! How can I admit that without her I am sad, I am distracted, confused, and depressed. How can I admit that she is the starlight in my life. Without it I am dark." His tone dropped as he spoke, becoming lower and lower with each word.
Bilbo almost cried. He had never seen the prince so despondent. "You have been like this for some time now, don't you think you did something about it?"
The nephew of Thorin looked at him incredulously. "Are you mad? I must abolish these feelings! I cannot allow myself to become more depressed. I am sloppy at practice, I am glum, I am lonely, all over an elf! Thorin would never approve, and neither would any of the other dwarves that reside in Erebor. You must understand this, right?"
Bilbo bit his bottom lip. He hadn't this much trouble when he had been approached by Thorin, but then again, he had already proved his worth. Erebor would never argue with the actions of their great and powerful king. But Kili, he had no such luck, he was a simple prince, whose whims would be put aside for the sake of racial tensions and royal obligations. He suddenly felt angry at Thorin and the dwarves, and filled with pity for Kili. He had watched the boy deteriorate for many months, causing pain to erupt in his heart, Thorin's nephews were almost his own.
"You are lonely Kili. Maybe you should act on these feelings." He suggested.
Kili shook his head. "No, it cannot happen, it is not allowed."
He stomped off after that, his shoulders slumped, his form wrapped in fatigue. Bilbo watched him go with a calculating eye, his mind whirling with ideas and concepts to cure Kili's issues.
"Bilbo." The hobbit stiffened. "You no nothing good will come of this."
I know this is going sort of slow, but I wanted to show parallels between Kili and Tauriel. Trust me, it will get much more exciting! Tauriel is a tricky elf, and she will never be restricted hehe. Kili will get over himself, but he'll cause a lot of drama later on. Next chapter will be much, much longer! Thanks for reading! Okay and it's a cliffhanger that won't be answered for a couple more chapters (That isn't Bilbo speaking at the end.)