Before:
Tobias
Christina takes me back to the Bureau one last time to say goodbye and make sure everything is in order for our permanent departure. I wander around the Bureau one last time, before my mental breakdown begins to creep up on me. I can't stay here a moment longer. I just can't. Tris is everywhere here. It's almost like I can still see her walking through the halls; sleeping on her bed besides mine. But then I realize that it isn't really her. It has finally hit me that she's gone. She's gone and not coming back.
I'm still moving, still keeping the grief at bay. But it's not working. Not anymore.
We go to say goodbye, Christina, Caleb, Cara, and I. I know what will be there: her lifeless, stiff body lying on a hard, cold sheet of metal. I want to cry, but there are no tears left. Tris is right where we had left her last. She is pale, so much paler than she was in life, and it shatters my heart all over again. Cara, Caleb, and Christina all say something to her, but I can't hear them. To me, it sounds as if they're talking through water. They probably said goodbye.
I step towards her, placing my lips to her temple. I have to let her go. I just have to. But I don't want to. I really don't want to. I know, deep down in my heart that there's nothing left to say but, "goodbye". I mutter those words in her hair. I press my lips to hers, my last farewell. It isn't good enough, it never will be, but it's all I have. "I love you."
Things will never be the same again, and I know that. I will be the man that she wants me to be, no matter how hard I have to work. I owe that much to her. I start by taking life day by day. I will be better. I know I can be.
It'd not much, I know that, but it's a start.