Huge thanks to people who reviewed the first chapter! I've never been one to write chapter stories, but your support is all the motivation I need. Yes, that is cheesy. It's also true. I also want to apologize in advance for updates being so infrequent. I'm not the fastest of writers, let's say.

I have a bunch of material for this story as of now, covering maybe 2-4 additional chapters (including this one). If there continues to be a general interest for the story, I will most likely continue to update it. For that reason, any and all reviews are greatly appreciated.

Also, if you're a die-hard Mami fan (and you ought to be): Don't worry.

Madoka knocked on the door. There was no answer. She tried again, with a bit more vigor. Still nothing. Two minutes and an aching hand later, the door opened.

"Morning, Kaname-san." It was a familiar sight by now. Mami's golden locks were frizzy and dull, and her eyes blinked at her guest tiredly. It was laughably obvious that she had just got out of bed, and that she had slept with her regular clothes on. While Mami's smile upon seeing her friend was heartfelt, Madoka was wary thanks to past experiences.

"Good morning, Tomoe-san. How are you?" The blonde gestured for Madoka to step inside, tried to straighten out her skirt, and walked back into the apartment.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little tired." It was still dark outside, an early and dingy Saturday morning.

"How come?" Madoka asked as politely as possible. She'd been able to sneak out of the house, with her parents fast asleep. She wasn't sure if she had been lucky or not, but the pink-haired girl felt a little more comfortable at the moment, as Mami seemed to be in a good mood.

"Would you like some tea?" Timed perfectly with the question came the scent of the lovely beverage, and the guest nodded energetically.

While Mami was away getting said tea, Madoka buried her head in her hands and sighed deeply as the reality of what she was doing hit her. She wondered how she would explain the reason for her early and sudden arrival. The reason that now slept quietly in her pocket, that just hours earlier had been on fire with hate and desperation.

Carelessly kind as she was, Madoka was only worried about Mami's health. And just when it seemed like things were looking up…again.

"Here we go." With only the slightest of clattering, the tray with cups and teapot sailed through the air on the steady hands of Mami Tomoe, and Madoka sat down at the square table where the tray landed.

"Thanks." Mami sat down opposite to her guest with her legs crossed. She looked awfully sleepy, like she could doze off at any second. Madoka felt a little uneasy as she poured herself a cup of the steaming liquid.

"So, what's on your mind, Kaname-san?"

"Oh…I'm sorry for coming unannounced." Not to mention so early.

"It's fine, I knew you wouldn't have done so if it wasn't important." Rubbing her hazy eyes, the blonde took a careful sip of the tea. It was strange. Mami looked as friendly and calm as always, but that same look coupled with her wrinkled clothes and tired appearance was a little…unsettling.

"Right. Um…" Nervousness made Madoka's hands tremble, and she was painfully aware that this scenario felt very familiar. "…I want to talk about last night."

"What do you mean?" Many people would've called the reaction of innocent surprise bad acting. But not many people knew Mami.

"Look at yourself…please, Tomoe-san…" More trembling. She put down the cup, didn't want to spill anything. Mami smiled nervously and tried to smooth out some of the crinkles on her sleeve.

"It's…a little embarrassing to be dressed this way, but I…I must've fallen asleep like this and-"

"You can't remember how it happened, can you?" Kindness was partially replaced by bitterness. This wasn't the first time. It wasn't even the second time. Outside, the sun was rising. The only way to tell was that it got brighter, as clouds were still dominating the sky.

"I'm sorry, Kaname-san, I don't understand-"

"You've been drinking again." It was a hasty statement, but every word was perfectly audible.

"I…I haven't." Mami suddenly looked very pitiful, and you could tell that she didn't trust herself at all.

"You don't remember what you did last night, right? Or why you woke up like that?" Shifting between frustration and empathy, Madoka pulled up her cellphone from her pocket and held it out to Mami.

The blonde girl whimpered, as if the piece of plastic was in fact a ticking bomb. Meeting an unusually intense look from her friend, she took the phone.

"Go to voice mail." Madoka instructed her, trying to keep calm. What she really wanted was to yell and to scream until her lungs hurt.

The clicks and beeps of the cellphone were too loud in the large room when no one was speaking. Mami focused all her attention on the small glowing screen, not wanting to face the disappointment in her friend's eyes.

"The three most recent ones are yours. Go on, listen to them." Sure enough, on the screen blinked three small rectangles, all received just three to four hours earlier. With a thumb that was nigh vibrating, Mami chose the first message and raised the phone to her ear. Her free hand nervously tugged on a curly pigtail.

"K-Kaname-san?" It was a frail, quiet voice that poured out of the small device. Mami tensed up and her eyes started to wander to everything but the girl in front of her. "I have to talk to you…please, I need…I need to hear your voice. If only for a second…talk to me…talk to me, I beg of you…"

Then silence.

"That was the shortest one." Unable to keep quiet, Madoka's voice made Mami twitch. It was a voice filled with something other than the kind and careful tones it was used to. "The other two are really long, you don't have to listen to the whole thing…"

Mami scrolled her way to the next message without a word.

"Why…won't you just answer me, Madoka?" Same voice, only louder and a little more wobbly. Madoka stopped trembling when she heard the distorted sound coming from her phone. Somehow, she'd been afraid that the calls were figments of her imagination, or parts of a bad dream. That Mami was actually doing great and that everything was fine. This obviously wasn't the case, and it was somehow relieving.

"Is it because of what…what happened last time we met? I promised you…n-n-never again…I don't why I did it, I…you told me it was alright! You…y-you told me you wouldn't fault me for it! You forgave me, Madoka!…you forgave me…

Mami couldn't sit still anymore. She got up and walked to the end of the room, just to turn around and walk back again. Not once did her eyes even come close to looking at Madoka. The message now played up some sobbing and sniffling, the pink-haired girl recalled.

"You pro…probably think that I'm worthless…M-Madoka, please…you're the only one…who listens to me anymore…

"You go quiet there for about two minutes, so if you'd like to move on…" The new tone in Madoka's voice was very bitter, albeit mixed up with considerate stutters.

"I'm so sorry-" Mami tried, but immediately got cut off.

"Last message, Tomoe-san. Please listen to it."

She did so without protest.

"This is all…your…fault." Same voice, a hissing tone, clearly drunk. One could easily tell by the unnatural pauses and swaying pitch. Mami wasn't even facing her friend anymore, but was instead looking out the window. It wasn't looking much better out there, honestly.

"You-u…and that Sa…Sayaka. I dragged you a-around…kept you safe. Wha…what happened then, Madoka? What happened then!'?" The sudden increase in volume made both girls jump slightly.

"I almost died! It's…you…you…your fault. Then c-came Kyouko and Ho…'Ho-mu-ra-chan'." The last name was pronounced with so much hate and disgust that a mere recording couldn't mimic it. The blonde's shoulders shivered, but the phone stayed where it was.

"Your fault…it's you-ur fault I'm like this…you h-have to help me…why won't you answer!'? I…I…hate you. I hate you. You…and Sayaka and the other girls…you-u can all go to hell…"

To Madoka's surprise, Mami ended up listening to the entire last message. It was very repetitive, pleas for help wrapped in hateful outbursts.

"Can I have it back now, Tomoe-san?" Madoka drank some tea before holding out her open hand. As expected, there was no answer. The former witch hunter's arms fell to her sides and the plastic device hit the floor with a clatter. No one paid any attention to the sound of something electronically important breaking.

"…so sorry…" Not even a whisper, Mami's voice could still be heard in the spacious room. She hated the itchy clothes she was wearing and what a mess she was, hated that she once again broke down before the only friend she had left. But most of all, she hated how conveniently her mind "forgot" whenever she'd been drinking. It was somewhat of a blessing, but a real curse in the long run.

Madoka made a decision as she crawled up on her hands and knees. The first time, she had cried together with her injured friend and murmured soft promises to her. Things were going to be okay, it was fine, it was just a slip-up.

The second time had been so much worse. It was the first time Madoka had seen anyone drunk, except for her mother. But whereas Junko was just loud and mostly harmless, Mami was not. Madoka had tried to calm her down, with some success, but things had gotten…uncomfortable.

Madoka had to try something new this time. Despite her caring and gentle personality, even she had gotten angry with Mami and her carelessness. So she wouldn't be so forgiving this time.

"Why?" The single word loaded with disappointment echoed in the apartment. Mami, who had completely forgotten that the pink-haired girl was in the room with her, spun around. She looked much like her Soul Gem did nowadays. Broken.

"Why do you do this to yourself!'?" Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. "You were the one who abandoned us, not the other way around! Me and Sayaka-chan always tried to support you after the incident, and you…you didn't care…"

"I cared about you, Madoka!" Mami looked at her contritely, her golden eyes glistening with held-back tears. Some of the clouds cleared, sending a shower of light through the window. The sunlight made Mami's silhouette glow faintly. "And I still do! You are the only one who haven't made the contract, the only one who doesn't look at me like I have some kind of contagious disease. I'm sure Kyouko and Homura are thrilled to have one less Puella Magi in the area…"

"Stop!" Madoka did cry, she couldn't help it. But it was angry, burning tears that rolled down her cheeks. "Stop talking about yourself like that! I looked up to you, even after you stopped hunting. I admired you, until…until…"

"Madoka…"

"…until you started hurting yourself like this…stop it. Stop it right now." The sentence ended in something between a hic and a cough. Madoka felt empty. She had said everything she could possibly say, and she didn't think it would help. Somewhere deep inside, she knew that Mami was a lost cause. Maybe Kyuubei had lied about how serious the damage done to her soul was.

Ping.

Apparently, the cellphone was still in good health. Mami, who located the sound fairly quickly, picked up the phone and held it out.

"Here."

Wiping away her tears, Madoka walked up and took the device. Upon seeing the message on the screen, she sighed deeply. From frustration, mostly, but from relief as well.

"It's from my parents. Looks like they've noticed that I'm not at home. It was probably Dad, he wakes up pretty early." Her cheeks pink with shame and her voice a bit shaky, Madoka mustered enough willpower to smile resignedly at Mami. "I better get home."

The blonde watched in growing panic as her friend bowed almost unnoticeably. She was going to leave, and Mami couldn't take it. She knew she couldn't trust herself without Madoka around. Even if her injured mind had repressed last night's events, there was no mystery as to why she had called Madoka. She needed the optimistic and caring girl. But there was nothing she could say that would make her friend trust her or stay. Yet she had to try.

Mami staggered forward and wrapped her arms around the neck of Madoka Kaname. She greedily inhaled the wonderful scent of…something radiating from the petite body. It fulfilled a strange urge, originating from their very first meeting. The feeling had at first been dismissed as protective instinct, and it was now halfheartedly explained as emotional desperation. In reality it was neither, but the memory acknowledging that had also been deeply buried.

It was a miracle that Mami didn't knock Madoka to the ground, but the two remained standing. Waves upon waves of conflicting emotions crashed against the pink-haired girl in the form of an upperclassman's body. Stiff as a board with initial surprise and embarrassment, only stutters escaped her.

"T-Tomoe-saah!" The name ended in a yelp as Mami buried her face in Madoka's shoulder and sighed.

"Madoka…" She murmured into the soft cloth that smelled faintly of fabric softener. Her breath left spots of heat behind, and Madoka's legs suddenly felt very unreliable. "…you can't leave me, please…you know what happens. I can make all the promises you want, but I won't be able to keep them without you around…you give me strength, Madoka…"

It's happening again. She did this last time too, just before she-

But she's not drunk this time. Mami isn't lying or rambling, she's speaking from the bottom of her heart. She needs our help…are we just going to ignore that?

No, of course they weren't. Not that it mattered what they decided on, since any and all active thoughts in Madoka's head were easily overruled by the heat from Mami's breath and body. Madoka didn't try to break free or resist the blonde's embrace. All she did was whimper slightly as the mumbling voice moved from her shoulder to her neck. The same effects on bare skin was substantially different. The girl felt as if she was going to melt away in the arms of her former idol.

"Ma...Mami-"

Pi-pip, pi-pip, pi-pip…

The electronically generated noise was incredibly out of place. It belonged in reality, where things made sense and had rules. Upon hearing the sound, this reality rushed into Madoka. It was the cellphone alarm, set to wake her up this morning. After all, she was supposed to hang out with Homura today. It would've been all four of them, but Kyouko and Sayaka were busy…as always.

All of this came to Madoka in less than a second. She squirmed, trying to get out of the deceitfully comfortable embrace. It was like a bed at dawn; warm, cozy and comforting. Mami let go with similar reluctance, feeling nauseating dread curl up in the pit of her stomach.

"I-I have to go." The beeping of the cellphone stopped abruptly as trembling fingers found the right button. Madoka felt dizzy, and the spacious room suddenly seemed all too small. She hurriedly said her goodbyes, thus ignoring everything Mami had said to her.

"She is being overdramatic." was one of the rationalizations.

"She'll never get better if I'm around holding her hand all the time." was another one.

"I wasn't afraid or uncomfortable. She was so close, so intimate, and I…liked it." was a completely unrelated, but far more important thought.

Halfway through the room, Madoka stopped. She dug around in her other pocket until her hand found the cold, hard object. Careful not to prick herself with the pointy end of the Grief Seed, she tossed it across the room. The black container hit the floor with a metallic clink and spun around a bit, inexplicably leaving it resting on its tip.

"Akemi-san said that your Soul Gem must be looking pretty bad right now." It wasn't a lie. What it implied was. "I almost forgot that I was supposed to give it to you."

"Thanks." One word. Zero meaning.

Madoka left. The door was carefully closed behind her, when it slamming shut would've been more appropriate.

The blonde girl with the wrinkled clothes and the sombre look sighed. The tray was still on the table, with its exquisite cups and pot glimmering neatly. The tea was probably still hot.

Heartache didn't describe Mami's pain very well. It was really more of an stomachache, a tightening knot of anger and self-pity. The absence of Madoka Kaname was physically painful. It tore and scratched at an already damaged soul.

Mami herself witnessed this when she held up the egg-shaped piece of rock and metal that contained her soul, even if she wasn't aware of it. Along the side of the dirty orange gem ran a deep crack, and the metal was bent and charred where it ended. Fine tendrils of darkness swam around inside, and strangely enough, they seemed to stay away from the crack.

Amber eyes scanned the floor for the Grief Seed, and narrowed as soon as they found it. That was Homura's contribution, a silent act of ridicule. Since you obviously can't get your own, Madoka had to beg to give you one of mine. Poor, helpless Mami…

"Akemi-san, eh?" The blonde picked up Madoka's gift to her, and held it against her Soul Gem. The black tendrils were absorbed, one after another, into the dark confines of the Seed. As Mami's body tingled with the peculiar sensation, she came to a decision.

"Homura Akemi."It was a voice vibrating with purpose that filled the apartment. Instead of emptiness and cumbersome feelings of affection, there was a burning and solid will to blame and to punish. Mami was going to kill Homura. For taunting her. For stealing her territory. For stealing Madoka. Devoid of reason, the idea grew into a reality.

The Grief Seed reached its cleansing limit, but the quantity of darkness left in the Soul Gem was still significant. The clouds outside finally cleared completely. The curtain of gray fully parted to reveal the beaming sun. It shone with full effect over the city of Mitakihara and promised its citizens a bright and pleasant day.

Mami Tomoe went to take a drink.