A/NSorry I didn't want to write "a disclaimer", but I think I should. I just wanted to warn you, this is not only the first time that I write a fanfic, but it's also the first time that I write in english (as some of you have probably already guessed). This is kind of an experiment! So, sorry for my errors/horrors. I usually complain a lot for the bad english, ironically now I'm part of the problem!

So when our eyes meet and she says "Fuck!" I already know it. It's not Martha, it's Alex. And my heart just screams "Fuck!".

I have no recollection of what happened in the next two minutes. Or was it a minute? 30 seconds? A year? Nothing. I just stayed there, paralyzed. My brain was short-circuiting, and thank god, it did.

Just one word entered my torpor. Run. Run run run and run. But the more I thought about it, the more my muscles couldn't move. So I just stayed there. Looking at her, but not seeing her. Overwhelmed by her, but not thinking about her. Just there, still, with my hand extended.

"So, not the same Martha, right?" said someone behind me laughing. But I still didn't function, so for me it was just background noise. I kept my position, like a brave soldier. My hand now tangled in my hair.

"Honey! Let me help you with the luggage" said Sandy, passing between us and entering the car.

And the spell broke. Suddenly I was again in the real world and, honestly, it didn't feel so good. Overwhelmed. There was no other word to describe how I felt in that moment. Overwhelmed. Too much for me to take in. Sandie was still inside the car and I realized that Alex was still in front of me, frozen in the same spot she was when I walked to her. I kind of forgot about her, I was so shocked by her that I forgot that she was there. Oh, the irony.

So I took a deep breath and I raised my eyes, looking for something, anything, a sign of recognition, a smile, a look of hatred, but what I saw was... nothing. She was looking at the ground, avoiding my stare, avoiding me. I just couldn't even start to think about the fact that she was real, she was there, so close. Then I saw it. Her head started to move, still fixated on the ground. It was a small movement, almost imperceptible. From left to right. And then from right to left. And then again. Almost like she was trying to say something…something like…"no"? Was she telling me "no"? What for?

"No", we do not know each other? "No", I don't want to acknowledge your existence? "No" I don't want Sandy to know who you are? "No", I can't believe I was so unlucky to meet you again?

Why wouldn't she raise her eyes and look at me? I would have known everything. I've always known everything just by looking into her eyes. We were special, we will always have a special connection, right? I'm special. I was about to say something, my mouth was open, when..

"Done!" Sandy was in my face, smiling "I told her, you didn't have to bring the entire New York City library! We can do other things here, right?" I still didn't register the words directed at me. My eyes were fixated on Alex. She finally met my eyes.

It was just for a second. But something on my chest exploded. Not the heart, probably a lung or the pancreas. Her eyes where the same eyes I've got lost into so many times, but they were hard. Almost daring. And then, just as fast as a blink of an eye, she turned her back on me pretending to look for something in the car.

"Piper, are you ok?" said a confused Sandy in front of me. She must have seen my face. I just couldn't believe what just happened. A fire started inside me, from the ruptured pancreas. Yes, I decided it was the pancreas, because the heat that was starting to spread into my body was pure bile.

Suddenly I was angry, very angry. But the anger gave me focus. So I showed at Sandy the full set of my whiter than white teeth.

"Oh yeah, all good...I forgot take the other keys. I'll be back in a minute"

And, like that, I was gone, walking so fast that Ralph was running by my side to keep up with my pace.

The minute turned out to be five minutes. And I'm still here, in my cabin, sitting on the floor with Ralph on my lap. Fuming.

Inhale. Hold the breath. Exhale. Hold the breath. Repeat six times. Slowly. Pet the dog.

Not working. What. The. Hell. Happened? I feel like I want to throw up, or hit her, or shake her. Mostly hit her. But she didn't do anything wrong. She just didn't look at me. Acknowledge me. What was I expecting? Big hugs and stories about the past?

Now I'm just so angry at myself for letting me fall so easily into this hole again. I hate when someone has power over me, and, no one has ever had more power over me than Alex. Or, as they call her now Martha.

Martha. My Martha. How I wish she were here right now. She always knows what to do, what to say, how to calm me. She's been with me for the last three years and she saw me grow. She let me grow, with her, with love.

Just the thought of her is enough to give me some peace. My breaths are deeper now. It's perfectly normal to feel like this, I wasn't expecting it. Maybe It was a shock for her just as much as it was for me. Probably she doesn't know what to do, what to say. And I don't know what to do or what to say either. So I can't blame her. Maybe Sandy doesn't know about me. Like Martha doesn't know all about her. My Martha. This is getting ridiculous.

And there's that too. Why Alex's name is Martha? Why her hair is red? New life? Witness protection?

Ok, I think I think too much. I went from 30 years of stupid, emotional and not so unconsciously impulsive Piper to a very mature thinking paranoid machine. Sometimes those 30 years come back, they have been my life for so long.

But now Ralph is drooling on my boots and I realize I'm in my place, in my life, I am relevant here, I am loved and I love. How could she see what I become in a split second? Why do I care if she knows or not know how good I am now? How mature and balanced? I shouldn't. I don't really want to go there now anyway.

Ralph is really really drooling on me. I love this fleabag so much. I'm smiling again, I scratch his head and I'm on my feet.

Alex is here, she's alive and good. She's not going anywhere for the next two weeks. I'm here for 10 more days, so there's plenty of time to come clean and talk. She can't avoid me now, if that's what she wants. I feel lighter. The elephant is no more sitting on my chest.

I open the door and start walking towards the cabin 6. Chin up and a smile.

I can hear them talking inside. Loudly "Come on Honey! What the hell are you talking about? We decided together to come here. What the hell got into you? Ah?"

"Sandy, I told you! I just don't… like this place! I'm.. you know… thinking about work. Tom is alone, I don't know if he can handle…"

Oh. That fucking voice. After 5 years, I still feel my inside tremble. But, bitch. She doesn't like this place? Coward.

"Martha, you listen to me. We talked about it. I need a break. You need a break. We need a break from work, pollution and all the fucking problems of our lives. I like it here and, even if I didn't, we don't have time to change location. So, if Princess Rainbow here doesn't want to get her boots dirty she can suck my …"

Maybe, just maybe, I am in the wrong place at the wrong time. The door is open and Sandy is looking at me, still flushed.

She smiles politely and she storms outside with the cell in her hand.

"Honey" she says looking behind her with a very sweet and very fake voice "I'm going to call home, you take care of everything. Sorry Piper" and like that, she's out. Nice one Sandy, nice one. Well played.

But now between me and Alex and 5 years of silence, there's just an open door. She's in trap, she can't escape no more. So I do the only think I can think of, and with three long steps and a with my heart pulsing in my throat, I'm inside.

It's dark in the cabin, she's making the bed, all I see is her back. Surprise, surprise. I wait for her to say something, and in the meantime, I look at her. I observe. I drink in every little detail.

I can see she's nervous. Good. Her movements are fast and frantic. I not so secretly hope it's because of me. She's a red head now, but she looks pretty natural. I always thought that black was her color. Hair, glasses and sometimes soul.

But she looks so…woman-ish now. She's always been stunning. Tall, statuesque, and intimidating. But this color suits her, in a way. Makes her more human or something. Probably I'm just so emotional that I would find her interesting even with a shaved head. That's what I'm feeling. I want to know everything about her. I'm honestly curious. That's all.

She's moving around, I can see her face now. She's dressing differently, an emerald classic shirt, jeans and boots. Not biker's boots, just stylish woman's boots. The ones you buy for at least 200 bucks. Even her glasses are different, her black rimmed glasses are gone, now a pair of dark green one are on her nose. She's more "soft" now, I don't know, maybe kind of sweet looking? If only she would start to talk.

No? No problem. I'll make my move.

"Need help?" I say going to the other side of the bed, facing her. Good, my voice did not break. I sound friendly and calm.

"No" Cold. Oh. And she still isn't watching me.

So much for calm and relaxed Piper. I raise a little my voice, incredulous "Nooo? That's all I get?"

"No. Thanks" Even colder. And sarcastic.

Oh. That's it. Kindergarten it is.

In two seconds I'm on her side of the bed, I'm not thinking straight, I just see red. Literally. We are in the dark side of the cabin, the door is open, but you can't see outside. And from outside they can't see us.

I grab her arm and I turned her around, facing me. This is definitely not how I imagined it to go, how I wanted it to go.

"What the fuck Alex?" I almost scream in her face. The electricity is there.

"Get away from me!" she replies dryly while pushing her arm free. Finally she raises her eyes. Finally we are looking at each other. I see a reflection of myself there. Pure fire.

"That's it? This is what I get after five years? No "Hi, nice to see you again"? I don't care anymore if I'm loud

"Shut up, Piper!" she says in a hiss. I can see her jaw pulsating, I hope it explodes

"Oh, so you still remember my name! How cute" I say with all the sarcasm I have in my body.

She doesn't reply. I can feel the electricity between us. I feel the heat irradiating from her. I can smell her. Our breathing is synchronized and shallow.

"Please, go away!" she whispers, her eyes leave mine, and for a second I almost believe she's still..,

"Alex…what happened? " I say softly. I'm at loss for words… I hear her loud breathing, and

"Don't EVER call me that again" she's looking straight at me in the eyes. All the softness gone. "You just can't come here and act like we are …old friends! I don't care about you. I don't want to know what happened to you in this five years. If I wanted to, I would have called. I finally thought you were out of my life for good. So, no, it's not nice seeing you again, Piper. It's the opposite of nice. You're bad news. So please, and I'm begging you, please, don't do anything. Don't say anything to Sandy. Just pretend we've never met. Just for two weeks, then I'm gone, for good."

Her voice gets softer towards the end, but it cuts though my body like a warm knife through butter. All the things I wanted to tell her, the apologies, the explanations, the thanks. All gone. Pointless.

"10 days" I whisper

"What?" She says, confused.

"10 days. I'll be leaving in 10 days. And, ok" I'm looking at a point behind her. Cannot look at her in the eyes. I'm talking like I'm in a land far far away.

"Listen Piper…" her voice is soft and now she's the one grabbing sweetly my arm. It feels like it's itching, I just want to scratch it away. What is that? Pity? I don't need her pity. "..what I meant to say was that.."

"No, you listen, now" I stop her and I push away her hand. "I really don't know what you think of me, but guess what? I don't care too. YOU came here in MY camp. I could get you two out of here in two seconds, with the snap of my fingers. But I won't. Because, really, I don't care. All this anger and resentment you have, it's your fucking problem. And I'm gladly staying out of it. If my being nice was a fucking problem for you, then fuck you. I don't care. I don't need to prove anything to you. Your dirty secret is safe with me. I'm very, very good at faking, you should know about it." Pause "These 10 days are gonna be fantastic, Martha"

Boom. The air is electric again. It's always like this with us. In these moments, anything could happen. I know she's angry. She's looking at me like she wants to eat me. No pun intended. And I gladly would eat her too. Make her disappear. I know that her eyes are mirroring mine. But there's something else there. Neither of us is moving. Neither of us is looking away.

Till we hear a voice from outside.

"Everything's good Honey?" Sandy again.

And again, the spell is broken and Alex or Martha or what the hell her name is, is walking outside. I'm behind her. Still with the rush of adrenaline running through my body.

She goes towards Sandy and she hugs her from behind. I can see her hands slowly going from her navel to the rib cage and slowly caressing her stomach. She's doing it on purpose. And it's working, my blood is boiling.

"Yes Love" she says moving Sandy's hair on a side and putting her smiling lips on her nape. "Piper here told me a lot of good things about this place. I think Princess Rainbow was wrong and Princess Rainbow is sorry. Can you forgive me?" she's still looking at me. Talking to the nape, but looking at me.

Sandy's laugh is contagious. She turns inside Alex's hug and she kisses her briefly on the lips. Alex is still looking at me but the arrogant smirk is gone. Good.

I turn my back and I start to walk away. This is what I wanted. This is my closure.

Behind me I can hear laughers and Sandy's voice "Thanks Piper! See you later!"

"Bye girls! Enjoy" I reply without turning around.

Fucking Princess Rainbow Bitch

I keep walking, I still need to fix the water tube in the Stevenson's cabin and I need to buy groceries for tomorrow, but I don't care. I just need to walk to clear my head. This all feels too juvenile. I will walk till I'm good, probably after a marathon. Or two.

This is what I wanted. Everything I did was good and right. I talked to her. I saw her alive and well.

So why doesn't it feel like closure?

A/NI just wanted to thank you. I wasn't expecting any review of follow. But some of you did comment, and it was fantastic! So thanks a lot. I could use all the insights I could get! Keep going like that! I do like it!