Wow, writing sad is HARD! I am going to have to finish this (because once it starts, it's GOTTA get finished) and NEVER do that again! I'm not sure what is going to happen totally yet, but I'm sure it's not going to be a really happy ending for either of my protagonists. All, I know is, they are really hurt, really pissed off, and they don't care about themselves at all. And they are totally in love, and they just remembered that. And they get some love and cuddle time here, because they deserve it!
Ooooh, they even get a song, too! Nobody I wrote about EVER got a song before. But it is so theirs. I put it in my little profile thingy. I'll never think of it the same again!
I woke up on Zoe's bed. It was dark, that was all I knew. How much time had passed? I stumbled out into the hallway. I felt like shit. Wow. I stumbled into the bedroom and glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand. 9:30......hmm.....was it Wednesday or Thursday. I wasn't hungry or thirsty....must still be Wednesday! Ha ha!....How tweakers tell time! I put on the tv to the weather channel. Yep, Wednesday. Looked like tomorrow was gonna be a beautiful day! What the fuck ever.
I dug around in my nightstand and found my small hidden baggie of crystal meth. Yum. I dumped out a small amount on a mirror and cut up some lines with a razor blade I had hidden there. I took my little piece of a straw I kept and snorted those bad boys down! "Aw, yeah," I thought. I dumped some more out and began making lines again. I was gonna enjoy the hell out of this! I hated my drug dealer; he was a piece of shit I would rather shoot than look at, and I had to fuck him for almost an hour the other night to get this little bag of joy. A fucking hour.....'cause I was watching the clock! I wanted to crawl out of my skin the whole time. So I earned this high!
I lay back on the bed, enjoying the flood of pleasure in my brain. Oh damn! This shit was good! I felt so fucking alive! I closed my eyes to shut out the living hell for a while and rode that white pony.
Then I remembered......didn't some really weird shit happen this morning? Seemed like it did, seemed real.....Oh Jeez. I looked at the wall. Yup. My bedroom got shot up. That was definitely not status quo. Okay. So that shit wasn't a dream. That was real. That happened. Wow. I didn't know what to feel. I felt happy that my husband wasn't dead. Really fucking happy. Ecstatically happy! I still had a little tiny bit of family left in this shithole of a world! He wasn't doing too great, but he was alive! Alive.....I had felt his breath on me, the heart beating in him, his warmth. I knew he'd felt the broken heart beating in me, too! I was going to have to go to him. We belonged together, forever.....'til death do us part!
I switched channels, and lo and behold, look who blew up some shit! Yup, it was like an omen. I got dressed, and decided to pretty up a bit. I started putting on my makeup, and then for shits and giggles, smeared my eyeliner all over so I looked more like him. That was funny as hell! Especially with my eyes all dilated out. I knew he'd see the humor in it. I headed out, excited to have a mission other than drinking and getting fucked up beyond belief.
When I got where I needed to go, I was pissed off because they didn't wanna let me in!
"The boss is sleeping," a guy told me, barely opening the door. "Trust me, leave him alone. He's probably hung over."
"Join the fucking club," I responded.
"Who's there?" someone yelled. I tried to see who it was.
"Just some bitch," the guy replied. "Wants the boss for something."
I was getting pissed. "Get his ass up!" I yelled. "Tell him it ain't some bitch, it's his bitch!" This dumbass at the door totally reminded me of the guy who killed my kids....it wasn't, but he kinda looked like him, and he made me really fucking mad!
"Like a hooker?" the guy asked. Now I was pissed!
"Like a motherfuckin' WIFE!" I screamed. "You know, THAT kind of a bitch!"
Well, that got me in! The guy glared at me. "What is it with you guys and this clown thing?" he asked. I didn't respond. He pointed at a door, and I headed down the hallway.
"You're probably gonna get your ass shot, ya stupid clown-wife-bitch!" the guy called. "Just so ya know." I flipped him off without turning back around and stalked down the hall. I wasn't gonna get shot. "Fuck you," I called back to him.
I went in the room and shut the door. He wasn't asleep. I didn't know if he was hung over or not, but he was awake and alive. He was laying on the bed watching tv. He looked like shit. He smiled at me. "I knew you'd come," he said. "Ya still got the hots for me!" I giggled. It was funny. I sat down on the bed beside him. My God, he was skinny! He'd never been thin before, that I could ever remember.
"Do you ever eat anymore?" I asked him.
"Na," he said.
Fuck. I should've brought food. "Are you hungry?" I asked.
"Yep," he said. "For your muff!" Damn. That shit was funny, and I couldn't keep a straight face. I burst into nervous laughter. How the hell was I gonna say no? I was as smitten as I was 15 years ago when I'd said "I do." He grinned stupidly at me. "So......can I have some of it?"
"Do you want me to go get you something to eat?" I asked.
"Maybe when I'm done with you," he growled at me. "And you're done with me........'cause damn it, girl, I've been waiting for you all day, and I couldn't have waited much longer!" He pulled me down on top of him, and I was done for.
I awoke a few hours later. He was asleep and wrapped around me like a teddy bear. God, he was so warm and he felt so good. I really had to pee, though! I untangled myself from him, and went to what I correctly assumed to be the bathroom, as it was the only other door besides the one to get into the room and the closet, which was open.
It must have woke him up, because, as I was peeing, I heard him call softly, "Har-leee?!"
"What?" I said. "I'm peeing!"
"I know," he said. "I just missed you."
I came out of the bathroom, and he smiled at me, and he was ALL my old husband now, all chocolate brown eyes and love. "Come here!" he said.
I rolled my eyes at him. "We are so not fucking anymore!" I giggled. You know, we aren't in high school anymore! We're in our 30's now!"
"No," he said. "I just wanna hug you some more." I got in the bed with him and we wrapped our arms around each other. "I've been so lonely," he said. "I missed having you to talk to."
"Me, too," I said. I realized I was starving. "Aren't you hungry yet?" I asked.
"Ya," he replied. "But I don't wanna get up."
"Well, make one of them stupid fucks go get it, then," I said. "They're scared to death of you. Although I don't know why. What keeps them from just coming in here when you're asleep and blowing your brains out?"
He grinned at me. "Stoo-pid-ity!" he replied, and made a face like he was retarded. I giggled. "Ya gotta talk mean to 'em!" he said. "That's all they understand!" He held up a finger and whispered, "Watch!"
"BITCHES!!!!!!!" he screamed. I buried my face in my pillow to hide my laughter.
It took them a little bit, but finally, one of them was like, "Uh...yea?"
"IS THAT MY BITCH STEVE?" he screamed. "STEVE-O?" I was struggling to keep quiet.
"Yea?" Steve said.
"GET ME SOME MCDONALD'S!" he cried. "A WHOLE FUCKING BUNCH OF IT!!! LIKE 5 OF THEM MEALS OR SOMETHING!" He bit his lip and giggled, and started up again. "I WANT ALL OF EM TO HAVE BIG MACS IN EM!" I was dying. My God, it was funny.
"Uh, boss....," Steve said.
"WHAT?" he screamed back.
"It's like 7 in the morning. All they're gonna have down there is breakfast right now. So like, is that okay?"
"NO!!!!!!" he bellowed. "IT'S FUCKING MCDONALD'S! TELL EM TO MAKE BIG MACS OR YOU'RE SHOOTING THEM!"
"Uh....okay," Steve said.
"HEY, STEVE-O BITCH?" he yelled back.
"Yea?" said Steve.
"JUST LEAVE IT BY THE DOOR WHEN YOU GET IT. I DON'T WANT YOU LOOKING AT MY WIFE'S TITS!"
I was laughing so hard I was crying.
"Um....okay," said Steve.
"JUST KIDDING, STEVE! I KNOW YOU'RE A FLAMING QUEER! HA HA! OH, AND STEVE?"
"Yea?" said Steve, a note of irritation in his voice.
"IF YOU FUCK IT UP, I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR HEAD AND FEED IT TO YOU!"
"Um...okay," said Steve. I heard them leave.
"That doesn't even make sense, you know," I said.
"What?"
"Well, if you cut off his head, how are you gonna feed it to him?"
He smiled. "See, that's why I married you! 'Cause you're all smart and shit! Of course, I knew when I saw you in high school, I had to have you! You were so hot, you big-haired Camaro driving hot momma!" He climbed on top of me and started kissing my neck. I giggled. He smiled all sexy at me.
"Ya, know," he said. "There is just somethin' that makes me wanna do naughty stuff to you all day long!"
I started to make a smart ass comment, but then he started doing some really naughty stuff to me, and damn! I was liking it!
He grinned up at me. "You can scream and shit if you wanna," he said. "They ain't here. Of course, if you do it when they are, I just get more badass points!"
"Okay, okay, okay.....enough with it now!" I said. "What is this thing you want me to help with?"
"Well, I ain't figured it all out yet," he said. "But I'm gonna. It's gonna be BIG!" He motioned with his hands. "Everyone is gonna know about it! It's gonna be EPIC! You can help me figure it out, because you're the only person I know who isn't stupid or fake as hell!"
I heard a noise in the other room. "It's just dumb and dumber," he said.
"Food's here," Steve called.
"FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, STEVE!" he screamed. He went to the door and pulled it in. Damn, that was a lot of food! Someone at McDonald's must have believed Steve, because it was all Big Macs and fries. We pulled it all up on the bed and started chowing down. Steve had got us 5 WHOLE meals, because there were 5 pops, too. Stoo-pid-ity. He crammed straws in two of em, handed me one, and then without thinking, toasted me. I did it back, too. I saw his bottom lip quiver. I felt it, too. There always was supposed to be three of us toasting. Now, it would have been four.
He tried to make it to the bathroom so he didn't bawl in front of me, but it didn't matter. I knew. And I knew why, and that was what was worst.
"FUCK!" he screamed. "Why Harley, why? What did we do?"
"I don't know, Jack," I called back.
He came out of the bathroom, wiping his eyes, "Don't call me that!" he cried. "Call me 'Shithead' or something!"
He leaned into the wall, and then slid down it so he was sitting on the floor. He continued to cry. It was okay. I mean, so was I. I went and sat by him.
"I can't live without her anymore!" he sobbed. "But I keep doing it. I hate it!"
"Me, too," I responded. "I want to die, too."
His sorrow turned to rage. It was terrifying. I realized why Steve was scared of him. He was a fucking force to be reckoned with, that was for sure! And he was damn unpredictable anymore. His eyes looked like saucers, and he was jumping around the way he was when he broke in my house! He was scary as hell! He acted like he'd been on a week long coke binge.
"Come on," he said. "You know what always makes me feel better? Killing some piece of shit that deserves it! You are gonna LOVE it!"
Wow. Shit was getting really crazy around here. But, it beat getting drunk and stoned, so...okay! And I figured, it wouldn't be hard to find someone who deserved to die more than Zoe and Hailey did.