'Bored… so bored.' Relics moaned in his head as he glared up at the clock. He had stopped listening to the lecture long ago, mainly because he already knew everything he was talking about. He learned all about the theory of quantum physics last year but it was news to everyone else who were all scribbling down notes furiously so not to fail this class.
For the human, time scraped by as slowly as a knee does against concrete until finally the bell rang and he was out the door with a puff of smoke trailing him. He was almost running down the hallways but had to slow down when people started to crowd into the halls. Despite his slowed speed, he was still closing the gap between him and his prey.
A devious look spread across his face in a sly smile. He saw his target walking down the halls, not having noticed him. His teeth flashed in a sinister grin as he got closer and closer. Just before he got ready to pounce, she turned around.
"Oh, hi Lana." Relics said sheepishly as the minx gave him a very bored look. "I was hoping I would catch up with you before your next class."
"Right." She said as her bored look intensified. "You weren't attempting to jump me just now."
'God damn her minx telepathy!' Relics cursed as he tried to keep a straight face.
"What? No… no way! I wouldn't… do that." He said trailing off as Lana shook her head.
"You're a bad liar, Relics." She said a small triumphant smile lengthened across her sweet lips.
"I know." Relics admitted. "But you being psychic doesn't help much."
"I'm not psychic." Lana stressed as she stuck out her tongue at him. "You're just easy to read."
'I'm also easy in general… hint, hint!'
"So what's up?" Lana asked as she put the whole thing behind her.
"Always to the point?" Relics asked and leaned against the lockers. "Cause I was kind of thinking that maybe we could just sort of, hang out."
Once again, Lana rolled her eyes.
"We can't just hang out!" She growled playfully and gently pushed him on the shoulder. "We both have class to get to."
"I don't. I'm not mandated to have a perfect attendance record like some square that I know." Relics said very foppishly.
Lana's ears furled back and her muzzle dropped.
"Ah- hey!" The minx growled and attempted to bat him on the head but the human slid down the lockers quickly to avoid it. Not wanting to draw anymore attention, Lana refrained from taking another shot at him. "You know, one of these days being cute won't keep me from beating you up."
"Tough girl, but I'm afraid you're more meow than bite." Relics sneered from his lowered stance. "Ah, ah, ah. Before you hit me, isn't your teacher out sick today?"
"Yes… I'm going to hit you now." Lana said but hesitated when Relics smirked.
"Let's go than."
The minx blinked in surprise. "W-What?"
"I don't feel like conforming to the man today. Let's go to your class today." Relics said causing the minx's eyes to shoot wide open.
"W-What?!" Lana mewed as the human started leading her down the way she was going. "Wait, you don't want to do that!"
'Why not? What are you hiding I wonder?'
"Why? Are you actually in a special classroom?" Relics sniggered.
Lana bit her lips and ground her teeth together. "Oh, I am about to hit you so hard."
"Nonsense, you'd never forgive yourself. You'd never get my super awesome treat I have for you all the way from a tiny city on Earth called Pennsylvania… or Milton I can't remember."
Normally that would have been the breaking point and Lana would have thrown him to the ground in a wrestling match to the death until he gave up. However, her empty stomach, courtesy of a missed breakfast, began to gnaw at her.
"A treat? Like dog treats?" Lana asked and began to sniff him for any signs of food.
"Stop that!" Relics laughed as her nose began to tickle his neck with its cold quick sniffs. "And no, it's something much better, a finer delicacy than those dry tasteless snacks."
Lana's tail whished excitedly. "Ooh, I can't wait! Can I have it now? Please?" Lana asked as they walked into her classroom.
"Hang on a sec! Just let me pull it out first." Relics said as he reached into his pocket and the class started laughing. "What?"
"Nothing, nothing. Let's just sit down somewhere." Lana sighed, blushing furiously and shuffled Relics to the back of the room while Relics made small talk with almost everyone he walked by. "If you're going to play hooky, you might as well not get me in trouble too."
"Okay, okay. I'll be a good boy." Relics assured.
The school bell rang signaling the start of class. The substitute walked in, introduced himself, and handed out the assigned worksheet for the day that no one ever did. Instead, everyone just hung out talking, mostly about the human that had made his way into the class.
"Do you think he's lost?"
"Of course he's not lost! He's with that Lana girl."
"God! It just isn't fair. I wish I was rich and pretty."
"Come on Samantha, you're pretty. You don't need a human either!"
"But they're so adorable! They have such cute round eyes."
'Oh… my… GAWD! Why do both human and Cornerian girls insist on prattling on, and on, and on, and ON!?' Relics thought to himself while imagining taping their muzzle's shut.
"So what's this back of the short bus assignment you got here?" Relics asked as he looked over the Cornerian text that made no more sense to him than a bunch of scribbly lines.
"Advanced quantum physics." Lana scowled as she glared at the incredibly difficult question before her, which was also the first.
"Oh really?" Relics said very sarcastically as he was in the mood of playful banter they had been exchanging all morning. Without Bill or Falco around, it was easy for them to talk without whatever they said, no matter how innocent and singular in meaning, was turned into a that's what she said joke. "Well you're in luck, I know a little on this subject as a matter of fact."
Lana shook her head. "Alright than, let's see you solve this problem!" She snapped, having lost all her patience in being unable to solve the first question because of a certain human playing with her buttons and somehow being more cute than annoying, however slightly.
Relics adjusted his wrist com's projection screen to translate mode so he could look see the problem in human text and figures.
"Alright, let's see what we've got… here…" He said as his smugness came to bite him in the ass with razor sharp teeth. "What the Hell?" He mouthed silently.
Suddenly the minx's mood took a big turn for the better as Relics' head tilted left and right and a look of confusion replaced that look that practically said he loved the smell of his own farts.
"So." She purred and relished in the look of defeat he was making. "Not so… how did you put it, back of the short bus… is it?"
"No, Lana." Relics admitted. "This is more like the pavement of the road thirty feet ahead of the short bus because you weren't wearing your seatbelt when the drunken driver slammed on the brakes. How- that's not even! What the is this? This is certainly not my language!" He said pointing at an equation that was making his brain hurt more than a malignant tumor.
The minx's muzzle curled into the most smug of smirks. "That's my name in Cornerian."
Turning red with embarrassment, Relics tried to play it off. "My wrist com is probably malfunctioning again. I'll have to get a new one later."
"Of course you will." Lana giggled just before another hunger pang hit her and her stomach growled menacingly making the human flinch. "Now about that treat."
"What treat?" Relics shrugged.
"That treat that you promised me you jerk!" Lana snapped rather loudly, attracting the attention of the room including the substitute.
"Mr. McCloud, did you bring enough treats for the whole class?" The kangaroo asked.
"Only enough for the girls, ma'am." Relics replied.
"Well that's good, seeing as how this is a girls only class." Lana remarked making the human shrivel up in his desk.
'Oh God, why?' Relics thought as he suddenly realized that he was in fact the only guy in the classroom. Sighing to himself the human stood up and reached into his pocket, making most everyone giggle while the others pulled out their phones. 'Grow up, all of you!'
"So I got a care package from home, in it was some stuff called chocolate. It's a delicacy back on Earth, if you want some you can have some." Relics said before an unruly mob erupted in the room to get a piece of the chocolate bar in Relics' hand. It took a while but he managed to get an orderly line formed out of them and one by one they received their treat.
Everyone went back to their desks but no one dared to eat the chocolate just yet. They were all pawing it in their hands, sniffing and inspecting it all the while it slowly melted in their paws. All eyes turned to Relics who handed Lana a piece.
"Thank you, Relics." She said and like everyone else, eyed the candy suspiciously. The gentle hybrid didn't want to disappoint him or hurt his feelings. She held her breath and placed the chocolate on her tongue and began to chew. Suddenly her ears, tail, and fur all shot up at once. Her breathing became rapid and her tongue swirled around ferociously in her mouth, trying to take in every ounce of God like flavor that now entranced her. Her purring became so loud that everyone ate it all at once, making them all erupt in a torrent of flavor and pleasure.
'Haven't heard this much moaning since… never mind.' Relics thought and sat back in his chair to hide the hormonal effects of hearing so many woman moan in pleasure.
"That so good!" Lana groaned as se begrudgingly swallowed the chocolate. Her pupils were enlarged making her appear even more feline and sneaky. "Hey."
"Hey?" Relics asked as his eyes shifted to her suspiciously.
"You got any more of that chocolate?" Lana purred as she tickled his arm with her finger. All the little hairs on his arm raised and his skin flared up in goose bumps.
"Sorry, I only brought one bar." Relics shrugged. "Hey, hey what are you doing?" He asked as Lana started sort of crawling on top of him, purring and meowing slyly.
"Come on!" She purred and started nuzzling him by the neck. "I just wanna liddle."
"Lana, please!" Relics gasped when Lana found her in his lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. "People are… watching."
It was something out of a horny teenager's fantasy. Every single woman in the classroom had shifted over towards him and had big sparkling eyes. Their tails were all whisking about, their feathers were ruffled happily, and their motors were all purring. It also wasn't just Lana getting physical with him, some of the closer girls started to glide their fingers on his skin.
'What's going on? Why are they all touching me?!' Relics wondered but wasn't exactly against a twenty-nine-some, especially not when he was getting hotter and hotter the more Lana grinded her butt against his waist like she was riding him. It only got worse when she began to pant in sequence with her grinding.
"Okay look everyone. Obviously the chocolate's small amount of aphrodisiacs have a much bigger effect on Cornerians so-" Relics began but was cut off when Lana grabbed his hair and held him still while she ran her tongue up across his cheek.
"I want you. Oh God I fucking want you." Lana whined and began literally dry humping him as a massive hunger to slam the human on the floor and ride him for all he was worth. She wanted it hard, she wanted it rough, she wanted more chocolate.
'Her tongue, oh my God her tongue! That was the fastest I've ever gotten a hard on before. More, more, MOAR!' Relics mentally begged just before he got his wish, this time a gentle, but dominating bite on the neck.
It was then that the flood of horny school girls and not too old substitute teacher moved in on the human, each one attempting at least touch him. Lana let out an aggressive hiss making them shy away but then fall under her lead as pack alpha, and as the alpha, she would have the first helping of the prey. All the girls shied away until they got the signal that they could join, but the wait was brutal.
"Kiss me." Lana ordered as she rocked on the human.
"Lana wait a second- Wama!" Relics said but was muffled by Lana's shirt and cleavage.
"That wasn't a request." Lana barked as she ran her fingers and claws through his hair. "You will take me now, than the rest of the pack, than me again, and then me again!"
Relics' jaw dropped as he gapped at the once sweet, gentle, and innocent minx. She was so serious that he could see this going down if he wanted to or not. There was nothing he could do to get out of this but then he realized, why would he want to? This was something he'd never get another chance at, in fact, possibly no other person would. There were twenty-eight reasonably attractive to incredibly hot women craving him and his manhood, to say no would be like giving up on life.
"Okay." Relics whimpered and was pushed to the ground. He waited for Lana to attack him but she stood over him, examining her prey with arrogant eyes.
"You know what?" She asked and looked around at her new pack. "Girls, why don't you join me?"
'Oh my God! OH MY GOD!' Relics began to squeal in his mind like a thirteen year old girl as everyone started taking their clothes off and surrounding him. He closed his eyes and submitted to the will of the people, but then the door opened.
"I've got a big package here for a Mrs. Evans." A very pitched and extremely annoying voice said causing all eyes but the blissful human's to the source. It was Slippy and he was holding the box near his pelvis with a dorky looking grin on his face.
Seeing the bulbous, highly unattractive amphibian seemed to break the spell and with it, everyone's short term memory. All at once all the clothes that were starting to come off went straight back on, and order was restored. Relics continued to lie on his back, ready to be fucked by more women than he could dream of managing, until Lana kicked his shoe to get his attention.
"What are you doing? Get off the floor! It's dirty." She nagged. "Just what are you doing there anyway?"
"Wait what? What do you mean?" Relics asked as the terrible sinking sensation of complete despair destroyed him. "You were all going… my boys… ow… so blue!"
"Mrs. Evans isn't here today, you'll have to take that back until-"
"Slippy." Relics grunted as he stood up and every fiber in his being demanded blood when he saw the frog.
"Relics?" He was barely able to whisper as the human stomped over to him with a look that could kill.
"I swear from this day forward that I will have my revengence upon. I do not know if it is the horrific pain in my loins or the agonizing pain of not being able to submit my story to the penthouse forum and not be a liar, but everything that has just happened is your fault. You have five seconds to get out of my sight before I flay off all your skin and make you into a pair of slippery pajamas, and then set those pajamas ON FIRE!" Relics said in the deepest, most terrifying voice the frog had ever heard giving him all the motivation he needed to take off running.
"Five, four, three… two… one. NOT FAST ENOUGH FROG!" Relics yelled at the top of his lungs and took off running after the amphibian.
Lana just sat at her desk refraining from looking anyone in the eyes.
"Boys." She grunted sourly.
AUTHOR'S NOTES~~~ Okay everyone just needed to clarify a few things, chapter one and chapter two take place before the beach scene but after the car accident scene. None of this is canon so it will never be mentioned in the actual story. I would also like to thank you all for being so patient with me and not berating me like you used to. I could lie and say I was busy, but to be honest, I just haven't been in the writing mood. I seem to have written myself in a very tangled situation in ES, and I want it to come out perfect and not ruin it. Things are about to go down in ES, the final climax is approaching and a shit storm along with it.
Quick question, what would you all think of if I did another story that takes place in the ES universe through the eyes of a soldier. It wouldn't be as long as ES, more like 8-9 chapters but it would better show what was going on in the human side of things while Relics is in the Lylat. Eventually the main character from both stories would meet I'm thinking. If you have an opinion on this you'd like to share, go to my profile and vote on it, please and thank you, every vote is appreciated no matter the answer.