The next day, who else to wander into the room but Jason. This time, he's alone. I immediately tense when I see him, but his eyes are unfocused, going straight through me. I want to say something but I know there's no point in trying.

He's unfairly handsome. I realize that I've been moving closer to him, too close. I suddenly have the illogical desire to touch his face.

Jason breathes out a sigh. There are dark shadows under his eyes. "I don't even know why I'm here," he says to himself, scanning over the room as if he expects something to jump out at him.

Who are you? I think.

"I don't know why I'm even speaking out loud," he says, laughing shortly. "What am I looking for?"

Again, that impulse to touch his face. I should back away, but I can't.

"I wish…" he trails off. Then he shakes his head, rubs at his reddening eyes, and makes as if to leave.

I can't help it. Even if he won't hear me, I need to say something. "Jason -"

But I barely speak when he jolts like he's been shocked. "No way," he whispers, backing away. His eyes are wide, and there is a tear falling over the slope of his cheek. "No, he would never -" He turns and flees out the door.

I stare after him. What had Hazel said? If you try to speak when someone without sorcerer descent is listening, they won't hear you.

My mind feels like it's overheating from all the questions.

"Jason?" I say, because he's gone now. But I am not sure what I am asking for.

Hazel visits me the following night. As soon as she walks in with her flashlight I hurry to exclaim, "Hazel!"

Her face is serious. "Nico, I don't have much time to explain this all to you, so listen."

"But Hazel -" I say, unable to hold my tongue.

"There were once twelve people born with magic. I call them sorcerers; other people call them gods; other people call them demons. There's a lot that we don't know about them." Hazel looks frustrated. "It's all very mysterious. But basically, magic is real, we're just not sure how exactly it manifests itself. Say yes if you understand."

"Yes, but -"

"These twelve people have found a way to stay alive for years, well beyond a normal human's lifespan. They've had children with other magical people, and with regular people, and so the family - so to speak - has grown a lot."

"The sorcerers each have their own magical domains, and they work together to make sure their magic is used responsibly and isn't exposed. It's happened before, and it didn't go well." Hazel's eyes darken, and I know there's a lot she isn't telling me. "Our father is one of the twelve, and his domain is darkness, death, and the earth."

I'm stunned by this information, stunned enough to finally fall silent.

"The reason I've come here to tell you this," Hazel says, "is because I've heard talk. Jason Grace's father is the leader of the twelve, so Jason could hear you when you spoke the other day." She sighs. "Maybe I made a mistake coming here and letting you speak in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't have interfered."

"Is it so bad that I can talk to him?" I say.

"Nico, you shouldn't be talking to anyone at all. I'm breaking so many rules." Hazel shakes her head. "I don't know. But our father did something to you, I'm not sure what -"

"Hazel," I say. "Do you know how I died?"

She stares at me. "If I tell you that," she finally says, "I don't know what will happen to me. There could be a curse attached to that information, for all I know. I need to do more research."

I feel frustrated. "But then how am I supposed to remember things? And what will happen to me if I do?"

Hazel looks sorry. "I promise to let you know when I find out," she says. "For now, just . . . be careful."

I'm tired of all of this, I just want to know solid things, but I say, "Alright."

Time seems to be speeding up. I'm used to days, weeks, months passing by with nothing happening, but it has been barely two weeks since I first saw Jason and Piper, and felt uneasy. So much has happened since then.

So I'm only a little surprised when someone else walks into the room.

She has impeccable posture, a dark braid draped on her shoulder, and piercing eyes that survey the weakly-lit, nearly-empty room. But there's something more vulnerable too, in the way she takes a shaky breath before calling, "Nico?"

I'm wary about exposing myself after Hazel's warning, so even though I want to, I don't reply.

"Nico, it's me, Reyna. I am skipping class for this, so help me . . ." She sighs, hands on her hips. "And you know I never skip class. So get your ass down here and talk to me."

"Are you my sister too?" I ask curiously. She's different from Hazel, but the feeling's the same; something about her is familiar. Which is strange, I realize, because Hazel hadn't been familiar at all the first time I saw her - only as time went on did I feel like I might have known her in the past.

Reyna looks around, eyes sliding past me. She looks so relieved, she could cry. But instead she simply answers, "No, Hazel's the only sister who's still - she's your only sister. But I'm close enough, I guess."

It doesn't really make much of a difference to me. The only thing I know is that she feels right. I relax a little. "Why did you come here?"

Reyna twists at her braid with her fingers. "Calypso saw something in the present, and I'd hoped - well, I haven't heard your voice for years. You sound the same."

"Calypso?"

"Yeah, Calypso. She's -" Reyna looks a little embarrassed, eyes dropping to the floor. "She's great. Somehow Piper knew that we were, well."

I feel a jolt of envy. I know I shouldn't, but it has never really struck me how dead I am until this moment. I'll never blush over someone again.

I'm being ridiculous. Reyna is happy, and that's all that should matter. "Calypso can see the present? How useful could that be?"

"She can see the past too," Reyna says defensively. "And tiny pieces of the future, if she's lucky - or unlucky. Anyway, she told me that she saw you as you are right now."

"Dead," I say glumly.

"Maybe." Reyna shrugs. "And she also saw slivers of the past - Hazel and the rest of them visiting you - and a tiny bit of the future."

"The future?" I say, interest piqued.

"Yes. Nico, you're starting to remember things." Reyna's gaze is intense. Since she can't see me she's glowering at the wall, but I'm glad for that - if her eyes had been directed at my face I think I would have flinched. "And you'll remember more and more. Eventually you'll have to make a choice."

"What choice? Did Calypso see what sort of choice I have to make?" I lean forward hopefully.

Reyna shakes her head too fast. "Calypso only saw that it has to do with you leaving this room." Her eyes flick away, down to her shoes, and she clears her throat and smooths her braid. "So, what can you remember?"

"Not a lot," I admit. "Mostly just feelings. Like, Hazel started feeling more familiar after her second visit. And I feel like I should know you." I sigh. "It feels like so little - I should be remembering more."

"Are you sure that's it?" Reyna questions, like she's pleading me to remember more.

I hesitate. "Can you tell me about Jason Grace?"

Whatever she was hoping for, that's not it. She rears back. "What? Jason - No, no, I'm sorry, Nico, but I can't."

My heart falls. "Why?"

"That's on you," Reyna says, glancing back at the door. "It's your job to remember. I should go now."

I recall that one image, of Jason Grace's eyes, young and bright. I recall the impulse I felt to touch his face earlier. And I recall the devastated look on his face when I spoke. Uneasiness coils in my stomach. Was he - he couldn't have been.

Reyna's almost completely out the door, to where I can't follow, but then she turns back to me. "Nico," she says. "I never really told you in words, but - I love you, and I miss you."

Even though I can't remember, she feels so right, and I wish I could explain why - but I can't. "Even if you never said it, I think I knew."

Reyna smiles faintly, and quickly brushes a tear away, a tear that I know she doesn't want me to see. "I wish I could help more," she says, before finally leaving.

These past few nights I've been trying to relax and reflect on what has been happening recently, and this night isn't any better.

I've been remembering a lot more, which I suppose is a good thing. Some parts are still fuzzy, but I think I can remember growing up with Hazel. I remember her brief crush on some boy - Leonard, or something of that sort. I remember a fistful of pearls that she showed me, wonder on her face. I remember . . . meeting her? That doesn't really make sense, but I can clearly see her, shy and nervously saying hi.

I remember even less about Reyna. I remember her face, her eyes burning like fire - but maybe that's just from yesterday. I can clearly see her striped pony earrings, which she refused to wear in public.

But Jason Grace? Nothing. Any memory of him is just out of reach. I only keep seeing his eyes, again and again. And to be honest, I'm a little reluctant to know more. I do want to know who he is. I do. But a part of me tenses like a tightened string whenever I think of him. He's definitely a big part of my life, but, perhaps, not in a good way.

Memories of Hazel seem most forthcoming. In fact, I remember her embracing me and telling me something; I'm not entirely sure what.

Suddenly Jason's blue eyes intrude. I attempt to think of something else, but a memory is expanding in my mind like a balloon, and somehow his eyes are part of it.

I close my eyes.

I'm sitting on my bed, Hazel next to me. It's old, and creaks under our combined weight. Our father may have access to all the riches of the world, but I prefer not to use them.

"If he ever finds out, he's going to hate me," I say.

"I know it seems weird because you've just realized how you feel, but give it time," Hazel says. "Things will look better in the morning, and you'll see - he couldn't ever hate you."

"He's already done so much for me," I say, leaning my head on her shoulder. "He shouldn't have to deal with this."

"You're his best friend. He cares about you, Nico. He won't be upset if he finds out."

"He won't like me back," I say miserably. "I'm never telling him." I lift my head and say pointedly, "And you better not say anything!"

"I won't, I won't," Hazel says with a laugh.

"It's just - after all that stupid shit with Percy - I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

Hazel smiles at me. "Does anyone? I know that you'll be alright. You're the toughest person I know."

I open my eyes. It's still dark. Now, more than ever, I wish I could remember more about Hazel. But the person who really plagues my mind is Jason. Jason Grace.

So we were close. Best friends. Is it stupid that I'm relieved, that I had two loving sisters, and a best friend who cared about me? I was worried, I realize - worried that I had been alone even when I was alive.

I wonder if I ever got over Jason. And, again, I wonder why I died. Why everyone is so somber around me. Why Jason fled when he heard my voice. I doubt he'll ever return to this room, but I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could ask him what's going on.

It's frustrating that I don't know if anything I've remembered so far is important. I need more time to think.

Fortunately, I have no shortage of that.

There's a new girl in our grade, a pretty girl with a feather braided through her brown hair smiles. Her name is Piper. She's a vegetarian. She told me once that I look nice when I smile.

Reyna has a crush on her, I can tell. She blushes around her and looks angrily at the ground when Piper talks. I feel sorry for her, because Piper doesn't seem to notice. And Piper's nice and funny and thoughtful and enthusiastic, I'm not surprised Reyna has a crush on her.

The one thing that's stopping me from really becoming friends with Piper (besides me not being good at the whole friends-thing in the first place) is that she's obviously interested in Jason, and that doesn't sit too well with me. But I've kind of accepted it by now. I like Jason Grace, and I want more from him, but I'm not going to get it.

Does Jason like me in that way? I have no idea. Does it bother me that I don't?

Well, maybe a little.

I know we're young and only fifteen years old, but it feels real right now. In my mind I know that it's just a dumb crush. But my heart tells me otherwise.

I miss Piper. Despite it all, I think I liked her.

I miss Reyna. The more I remember of her, the more glad I am that she's found someone like Calypso.

I miss Jason.

Does he miss me? He has to.

I miss Hazel.

I don't know what to do with all of this.