Hey guys! I made it back and I'm happy and relieved that I did! Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments. They definitely encouraged me to come back and continue! Thank you again and I hope you like this next moment! p.s. while writing this I was listening to Matt Corby - Resolution a lot.
The first three years of the residency had flown extremely fast for Jackson, something that he didn't expect when he was assigned to Mercy West Medical Center. He wanted to be a surgeon for as long as he could remember, but initially the experience at his first official workplace didn't seem pleasant enough. He didn't expect to be placed in this hospital, thinking another hospital like Hopkins or Mayo would be the one to welcome him in.
Jackson often prided himself in the fact that he wasn't like his mother and grandfather. He was the dark horse of the family. He liked to think that he was different, on his to way building another path for himself. But when he was surprised at his acceptance to what seemed like a standard teaching hospital with qualified professionals, he realised that distancing himself from the Averys in Boston didn't free him from his own judgment. If he was trying to stop being 'dysfunctional and judgmental', he would need to let go of thinking that all his problems started with his mother and grandfather. He wasn't perfect either. So, when a girl named April confronted him about his attitude towards his not-perfect-but-perfect life, he thought that it was the chance to prove that he was capable of more.
That evening at his party, Jackson suggested to Charles that they become flatmates, which Charles gladly accepted. Jackson's bachelor pad was a perfect place to bring girls back to. "They would never say no to this," Charles thought. Little did he know that Jackson was taking the whole 'let's have a down to earth experience' seriously.
The same evening, Jackson called his grandfather and kindly declined Harper's offer to help him pay for the apartment, mentioning that he wouldn't touch the trust fund, either. April Kepner was right; his family helped him with his medical school bills and maybe it was normal and not at all embarrassing, but if he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't all Avery money, he had to work for it.
The next day, Charles Percy got his heart broken by learning that they'd have to find an apartment that would suit their residency salary. The only thing that Jackson couldn't let go off were overpriced coffees and expensive sneakers. He thought it was a good deal, at least for the time being.
"Jackson," April called, "stop daydreaming. We have that big hospital meeting to get to." Jackson inhaled and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He stood up and draped his stethoscope around his neck. All the residents were ushered out of the locker room, April, Charles, Reed and himself included. These three weren't his only friends in the hospital, but they were the closest. April and Reed were the ones who would cut his shit out and the main force who helped to wash that 'I'm an Avery' excuse away. Well, for the most part. Even Charles came around eventually and started treating Jackson as his friend and colleague instead of like some famous child.
They were walking down the corridor to the main area of the hospital, gradually joined by other staff members who were asked to attend the meeting as well. Everyone was wondering what was going on, but there wasn't much talking until Reed broke the silence.
"Has anyone screwed up anything recently?" she asked turning her head to look at her three friends expectantly. "Because I'm not interested in being thrown out of this programme if you losers did something stupid."
April, who was walking a little bit ahead of them, turned her head to look at Reed, Charles and Jackson. She looked at the latter a little bit longer, with a confused and petrified expression. "D - do you think they might fire people… us? I don't think I… have we done anything wrong? All the post-ops? Jackson, our last post-ops… Do you think we missed something?" April kept looking at Jackson and blinking fast; he could see that she was very worried. He was feeling uneasy as well, but seeing how many people were going their way too, he thought it was impossible that it only had to do with the interns. At least, he hoped so.
"No," he told her, a little reassuring smile crossing his face, "we're going to be fine, there's probably a new set of hospital rules that they need to go through with us, like "don't cut LVAD wire even if it's the love of your life type of thing." Jackson was referring to the Seattle Grace Hospital's case where an intern had cut the wire to save her fiancé, which hadn't turned out well in the end.
Jackson thought his words would help April, and expected to see a relief on her face. But what he saw instead was an expression too familiar, signifying that her brain was going through many bad scenarios. Jackson caught up with her and nudged her shoulder. "April, you didn't cut any wires and didn't kill anyone, relax." he said, turning his head looking back at Reed, "see what you've done?" Reed rolled her eyes. "Anyway, it better not take a lot of time, I want to scrub in today. There's this cool brain surgery that Doctor Maeve is doing today. I really want in on it."
"Yeah, you might not have the same possibility after today," snorted Charles, "I've heard rumours that the hospital will go through a merger and lots of people are going to lose their jobs," he finished, which made April, Jackson and Reed stop dead in their tracks.
Reed quickly crossed the distance between herself and Charles, which made Charles stumble backwards until he collided with a wall. "What the hell are you talking about? Spill," she said, stressing every word.
"I was about to go to chief's office to get yelled at for that apparently inappropriate comment about patient's breasts…" Everyone, including Jackson, collectively rolled their eyes, "I was on plastics case I thought that I was supposed to compliment them but…"
"I'll hit you so hard your eyes will pop out if you don't stop with this crap. Tell me what you found out," Reed demanded. Charles looked at Jackson and April standing behind Reed, who shared a glance and smiled at the absurdity of the situation. Jackson noticed that April's smile quickly disappeared, switching to her cheeks turning red. Jackson focused back on the scene in front of him, giving April time to compose herself.
"Okay, so I was about turn around the corner when I heard someone, two men, discussing the possibility of a merger. I don't know, it might be nothing, but I could tell when I entered chief's office that he was very nervous," Charles finished, sweat dripping down his forehead. Reed narrowed her eyes at him one last time and turned around to face her other two colleagues.
"Well, that's just awesome. I knew this hospital was crap", she groaned moving past April and Jackson. The latter two and Charles followed Reed who now was storming into the main area of the hospital, anxious to hear the news.
Jackson looked at April who now was chewing on her bottom lip, obviously getting worked up about the merger and what it means for her. Jackson wanted to reassure and encourage her, but nothing came out. He realised he was just as scared as his friend, thinking about what was going to happen to him. He didn't want to hear his mother and grandfather saying "I told you so" and Jackson couldn't help thinking that he should have returned to Boston instead of trying to make it on his own.
The gang finally reached the area where they were about to learn what's going on. Chief and the board were still waiting for everyone to gather, making everyone more nervous if that was even possible. Nobody was trying to talk, just contemplating the news. Jackson was trying to read Chief's expression when he felt a movement near him, and looked down to see April moving closer, still chewing on her bottom lip, preparing herself to say something.
"I think we will be fine", she said tucking her hair behind her ear. "I mean it's a good hospital. What Reed said, she's just very upset right now, which is understandable. W-we have great teachers and we've already learned so much. We are close to being irreplaceable," she quietly exclaimed, trying to convince both him and herself. She blinked and turned her head, looking in front of her. "Maybe it's just some small hospital went bankrupt and they're adding some people here. We will be fine. They know how good we are, right?" She looked at Jackson again.
He knew she was waiting for him to agree, but Jackson wasn't so hopeful. He had his fair share of dinners back home in Boston where his parents and the foundation were discussing mergers and how crazy competition is. How quickly people make mistakes getting all worked up fighting for their spot under the sun. However, he did have a soft spot for April and he knew that his negativity would make things worse. So, he smiled and nodded. Jackson wasn't optimistic in that moment, but he genuinely wanted April to have a little bit of peace before hell broke loose.
Finally, the chief called for attention and began talking. "As some of you may know, there have been some rumours circling around about the merger. Unfortunately, this is true. Starting next week, our family will have to share space with a new one… at Seattle Grace Hospital." Suddenly, the room was filled with gasps and muttering, cursing and moaning.
"Yes, sadly I have to announce that Mercy West Medical centre will close its doors for patients and doctors. You will be transferred to Seattle Grace, where you will continue working. However, the hospital can't possibly keep everyone. So, cuts will be made. I hope that the majority of you will be able to keep your jobs and…"
Jackson didn't hear the rest, unable to believe that was really happening. He looked to the left and saw the defeated faces of his friends. He lingered on April's and felt even worse. He saw the tears in her eyes; she was shaking her head and gripping her little red notebook so tightly he could see her knuckles turning white.
The chief dismissed everyone and April stormed out of the room before Jackson could comfort her. He, Reed and Charles remained in their spots until Reed shook her head, also leaving them going in the opposite direction of April. Jackson rubbed his forehead, not knowing what to say or do. Charles crossed his arms and looked at Jackson. "Well, we know you will be fine, since you can always ask Grandpa to take you in. Probably won't even need to do much work at all."
"Wow," Jackson laughed incredulously, "seriously dude? Go to hell", he said, turning around and walking away from Charles.
Jackson couldn't believe this day. He knew that Charles could be an ass, but that was a hell of an overstep even for him. He was also pissed because he couldn't deny that the thought of calling Harper didn't cross his mind. It would just be so easy to ask him. Extremely humiliating, but it would solve all the problems.
Jackson found himself in the empty locker room where, just 20 minutes ago, they were laughing at the joke Charles made. He sat down in front of his locker and slouched his shoulders. So many thoughts were running through his head, but he couldn't catch or focus on any. All he wanted to do was to go home, fall on his bed and sleep for 2 days. But instead, Jackson pushed himself up a little and took his phone out. Was he really going to call Harper and make that shameful request? He scrolled through his contact list and pressed the number.
"Hey, it's me. How are you?"
"Jackson, baby? What's wrong?" his mom asked.
"Nothing, mom. Just calling to find out how you are. Is it so weird?" Jackson said, frustrated.
"Actually, yes. And I'm your mother, mister, and a mother knows when her baby's in distress. Tell me what's wrong."
"Everything's fine. I just wanted to know if you were aware of the merger between Mercy West and Seattle Grace?" Jackson asked.
Catherine was silent for a moment before saying that she knew of it.
"Why didn't you tell me? I wish I was prepared for this."
"Oh, honey. I know you. If I had told you about this, I know you would've accused me of trying to coax you into coming back home. So, I just kept my mouth shut."
"For once," Jackson muttered getting the scolding from his mother in return. "What do you know of Seattle Grace? What should I expect?"
"So, you're going with merger then?"
"Yes, mom," Jackson rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to give up that easily. I like it here in Seattle and I need this to work, so please stop persuading me to come back. Won't happen."
"If you say so…", Catherine replied, sighing, "Well, I can tell you that Richard Webber is a great chief and even greater surgeon. The surgeons in there are quite remarkable. You will have fine teachers, but also a very competitive environment. You have to impress them to stay."
"Thanks m - …" he almost finished the sentence when Catherine interrupted him.
"But I know you will. You're an Avery, after all."
Jackson was astounded hearing his mom's encouragement. She had encouraged him before, but never about his surgical skills.
"Thank you, mom." He simply said, feeling suddenly better.
"Anytime, baby. Keep me updated."
"Okay, goodbye", Jackson answered, and hung up.
He'd expected the conversation with his mother to go so differently. He was ready to get angry, and he felt good about the fact that he hadn't needed to. He thought of his friends who weren't as lucky, and wanted to find them to talk things through. He was about to move towards the door to find them, when April entered the locker room. Her face was puffy from crying.
As soon as she spotted Jackson, everything she was holding in her hands dropped to the floor. She groaned quietly and lowered down to collect it all. Jackson quickly crossed the room to help her to pick up what turned out to be chocolates from the automate downstairs. He looked at her face at the same time as she gazed at him, her face turning red.
"I didn't think I was so hungry until I saw these," Jackson joked waving at the chocolate bars that were now safe in April's hands.
April barely reacted to that, just smiling a little and getting up. She went to her locker, turning her back to Jackson. He sighed, but decided he was not going to let her go through this alone. He went over to her and leaned against the lockers next to hers.
"April, talk to me," he said softly, "I know it's a lot to take in…" he trailed off, waiting for her to say something.
April looked at him and grimaced. "You don't know, Jackson. You couldn't possibly know. It's not just the job," she stopped abruptly, shaking her head."You know what, you don't need to make me feel better. I'm sure you have other, better things to do," she said trying to open one of the chocolate bars but her hands were too shaky.
Jackson sighed and took it from her hands. With one swift move, he opened it and bit it before handing it back to her. "See what I just did? If you weren't my friend, I wouldn't be comfortable doing this."
April looked at him, perplexed. Jackson sighed and raised his brows, smiling. "April, you are my friend. I want you to feel better. I want to help you. Just talk to me."
She curved her lips, looking at him. "Okay, but not here. Let's go to the staircase."
"Okay," Jackson quipped, moving closer to her locker and taking all the chocolates with him. April arched her brow, but Jackson just shrugged, muttering "reinforcements" while moving towards the door and to the staircase.
When they reached the staircase, they came down and sat in the middle of it. They sat in silence for a while, until April found the courage to speak up.
"I'm really, really sad that we have to move hospitals, Jackson," she sighed, looking down at her shoes. Jackson was patiently waiting for her to continue.
"It's not just work, as I said earlier. It's the whole getting used to the new thing. And I'm not just talking about us getting used to the new, it's them, too. That hospital getting used to us. I don't think it will go well. No, not for you, not for Reed and Charles, but for me…"
Jackson wanted to argue with her, but she asked him to let her finish. So, he fell quiet again.
"I just… I know, I'm not likeable. People think I'm annoying, at least at first. You know it's not easy for me. Even with you, I still can't believe…" This time Jackson interrupted, turning more towards her.
"Don't even finish this sentence. You're weird," Jackson began, which caused April to put her face into her hands, "you are sometimes. But don't say that it's unbelievable for you to be someone's friend. You're kind and smart, and we are lucky because you always look after us." he finished, but she still refused to look at him.
"April, look at me," he asked her, putting his hand on one of her wrists, pushing it down slightly. She obeyed, and looked at him with teary eyes.
It broke his heart a little, seeing her like that. "You talked to me at my party, you were the first person to talk to me, just talked to me without expecting anything from me. You made me feel comfortable to try and be myself in here. You talked to me," he said, a soft smile appearing on his face.
"Yes, but you initiated it, if you didn't…" she sighed, "God, this is my problem. I'm scared, Jackson. I'm scared that someone else will be the first to initiate a conversation with you, and you will stop talking to me," her voice started to tremble more and she couldn't control her tears. "R-reed and Ch- Charles, they can easily find new friends. You all will stop talking to me." She cried harder, hugging her knees.
Jackson put a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed it. "I will never do that to you. I will never put people from that hospital above you. They're strangers to me, and you're not."
April looked at him, tilting her head a little. Her smile betrayed her tears.
"Promise?" April asked, wiping her face.
"I promise," Jackson answered, his hand still rubbing her shoulder.
The door to the staircase opened, which made Jackson and April jump a little. They turned around to see Charles and Reed walking down and looking at them.
"I knew, we'll find you losers in here," Reed rolled her eyes dramatically, though her face softened seeing April's teary one. Jackson watched Reed descend the stairs and sit down next to her best friend, intertwining their arms to rest her head on April's shoulder.
"We will be fine, you'll see," Reed whispered, getting a nod from April. "I won't let anyone hurt you, you have my word."
Charles sat a little bit above the threesome, clearing his throat which got Jackson's attention. He turned his head to look at his friend.
"I'm sorry, man. What I said… it was a really shitty thing to do. I hope you know I didn't mean that," Charles said, looking down at his feet.
Jackson exchanged looks with April, and she finally smiled at him like she meant it.
Jackson looked back at Charles and nodded at him. "I know. We're good. Let's go find something to do, while we have the chance." They all stood up and went back to the hospital, each realizing that it was their last chance to work within the familiar walls.
The week passed insanely quickly, and before they knew it, it was time for Jackson and the rest to begin their residency in Seattle Grace Mercy West. Jackson was a little bit late, so he had to rush - almost running into someone in front of the entrance. He spotted Charles in the hall, who notified Jackson that the girls were annoyed with him and decided not to wait, and go right upstairs. It was probably Reed's idea, Jackson thought. He liked to think that April would wait for him. After a moment inside the residence room with Reed and local resident, they hurried to get to the elevator. They were the only people in there, so as soon as the doors closed, Reed turned around to face her friends.
"People, listen. I don't care whose cubbies used to belong to or who owns what specialty. We have the right to be here to get cool surgeries," she broadcasted, "this is war and we have to win, we infiltrated the camp and now we have to show that we can be a part of it. We came here to continue practicing medicine, so let's do that," she finished, now seeing her friends trying to suppress giggles. In usual Reed fashion, she rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath about ungrateful losers.
As soon as they entered the emergency room, Jackson felt a familiar rush and couldn't wait to jump into action. They noticed a group of residents around one of the attendings and decided to join in. Jackson was glad that the attending, Owen Hunt, liked the suggested way they used to handle the ER at Mercy West. April patted him on the shoulder mouthing, "good job," and followed him to start zoning the ER.
Eventually, everyone got their own patient and Jackson remained the only one inside the ER with Cristina Yang's annoyed face not letting him help her. He was able to diffuse the situation that promised to blow in everyone's faces, and also got lucky scrubbing in with doctor Hunt. It was a great day, and Jackson caught himself enjoying what was going on a bit too much. Mercy West used to get a lot of incoming as well but somehow here, in this hospital, it was different. He wanted to impress everyone since no one had yet put two and two together and realised he was an Avery.
The day ended for Jackson very suddenly; he was even disappointed that the shift was over and he would have to go home. His first day went perfectly, and he couldn't wait to ask his friends how theirs was.
He texted everyone, asking their whereabouts and learned that Charles and Reed were waiting for he and April on the second floor of the lobby. April didn't answer, and Jackson decided to check the residence locker room. He passed a couple of doctors who nodded at him, which made Jackson dance internally. He really enjoyed the attention that was given to his skills rather than his name.
He opened the door to the resident's lounge and saw that he wasn't wrong in deducing April might be there. She was sitting in front of her cubby, just staring down at her knees. He hoped when he got closer, he wouldn't see any trace of tears. He cleared his throat so he wouldn't spook her, and April turned her head to look who was behind her. She smiled at him, but Jackson could already tell that her day went much differently than his.
He slowly walked over and sat down next to her. He noticed she was stroking the cover of her little red notebook with her eyes glued to it. Before he could ask her how her day went, she looked at him and smiled weakly.
"Do you know what I write in this?" she asked Jackson, waving her notebook in the air. He really had no idea, so he shook his head.
"I write things to encourage my self-worth. I remind myself that I'm good at what I do, and that I can achieve anything and everything I set my mind on. I doubt myself so much… so this helps, I need to write in here." She paused, taking a shaky breath.
Jackson wasn't sure where she was going with this.
"Today, someone stole it and made me feel like I was worth nothing. I got told 'I don't like you' literally to my face and, you know, it's one thing to know someone could think that but for it to actually be said right in your face… I didn't know how I could possibly feel worse about this, but now I do."
Jackson didn't expect this, he wanted to punch whoever did this to April. He couldn't believe people could be so mean. April wasn't perfect; she was pushy sometimes and he guessed her nervousness brought it to another level, but no one was perfect. But April didn't deserve this. She deserved to be accepted.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry someone did that to you," Jackson offered, feeling like his encouragement wasn't what she needed right now. She just needed someone in her corner.
"Also, it might get out so I'd rather tell you this myself," she began. Jackson could feel her nervousness. "I had a plastic surgery during my first year of med school."
Jackson involuntarily scanned her body, trying to guess what she had changed about herself.
"Oh God, Jackson stop looking at my chest, that's not what I changed," April said, making Jackson blush a little. He cleared his throat and looked her in the eyes instead of something lower. It made April chuckle, which he was happy to hear, so he smiled sheepishly and verbally asked if he had to guess what she had changed about herself.
April rolled her eyes and turned her body more towards Jackson.
"I was teased so much about my nose when I was in high school, but my mom wouldn't let me do anything about it. It's actually a little bit embarrassing. I fell down the stairs in the first year and broke it." She tapped her nose and continued, "they took me to the ER and I just asked the plastics there to fix it. I'm not embarrassed of the surgery, but somehow when it was brought up today, I felt invaded. I hope I never make anyone feel like that. But I just wanted you to know this about me."
Jackson nodded and kept staring and her nose, trying to see any scarring and possible incision spots.
April slapped Jackson on the shoulder "Stop staring at it, please."
"I'm sorry. I haven't seen you pre-surgery, but it's hard to tell you've had it," he said, amazed.
"Well, that was the idea."
"Yeah," was everything that Jackson could offer. "I think you're brave. I think you're taking care of yourself. You just don't feel confident. I wish it wasn't like that, but it is. So, whatever helps you, it's not embarrassing. It's brave."
"Thank you, Jackson. I really appreciate you saying that." She looked at the door, then back at him.
"Are you done for today? Cause I could do with a pizza or something along those lines." She got up, putting her favourite possession back into her bag.
"Sounds great. Let's find Reed and Charles."
They walked out of the lounge area and found Reed and Charles on the second floor of the lobby, observing the floor downstairs.
"How was your day?" April asked, trying to sound happy.
"Eh, not bad but could be better," said Reed, crossing her legs and putting her weight on the railing. "How about you?"
"Same," answered April, not feeling like sharing her day all over again.
"I feel like we're going to have so much fun here," said Charles, "I think this is it, I think is where we finish our residency, become awesome surgeons and maybe fall in love," he finished, looking at Reed.
Jackson exchanged looks with April, who he could tell found this adorable.
"Please shoot me, that was sappy as hell, but you might be right," commented Reed, eyeing one of the doctors downstairs.
Jackson looked over his new home and took it in, realising that, for the first time, everything was falling into place. He had a good job, he was excited to find out what was waiting for him down the road, and he had great friends, who he was sure would never leave his side.