Thanks to everyone who sent the encouraging comments! As a first fanfic it was great to read your comments. Thank you so much!
Ray couldn't breath, he just stared at the window, he didn't know what to do, what to say. He couldn't believe it, there behind the door was Neela, the one person he loved, the one person he couldn't stand to see being hurt. "no….no….no" he said softly to himself shaking his head in disbelief, the tears started to roll down his face….he couldn't stand…he grabbed the door handle for support as he slumped to the ground, his head and body against the door. He wrapped his arms over his face to cover himself and he started to sob.
The nurse, came up to him and softly said 'It's not your fault", she bent down to him and started to help him up. "come on we have to get you checked out"…"no…I'm not going" he said strongly. 'but sir, you really need to get checked out"…she started to guide him to his room…. "no! I am not leaving her. I'm not leaving Neela" he said defiantly. "you know her??" the nurse asked. "We work together, and lived together- she was my roommate." He quickly added so she wouldn't misunderstand. "She's a doctor at County". The nurse was quiet- she knew the best thing for him right now was to let him speak. He needed someone to just listen to him. Even if she could say something, she didn't know what to say. The nurse did the only thing she could think of- she reached out to Ray to lead him back to his room.
"can I go inside and see her?" he said softly, his gaze resting on the door to the ICU unit.
"I think you should get checked first, and then I will speak to a doctor- I'm sure once he knows what's going on, he would be ok with it.…come on now" she said softly as she guided Ray back to his room.
Staring at Neela through the window, Ray coughed to clear his voice- "can I have a moment?" he whispered so quietly it was barely audible. He didn't want to leave Neela.
"Of course" the nurse said, she moved over a few feet away from him to give him some privacy.
Ray looked through the glass at Neela and instinctively reached up and rested his hand on the window along her. He just wanted to touch her, to hold her in his arms. He had never felt so far away from her than he did at that point.
Tears started to roll down his cheeks. "Was all the pain and suffering of the past year- supposed to amount to this?? To them being led to this point- with him standing outside of an ICU Unit while Neela was in there" he thought. None of it made any sense to him. "After everything Neela had been through this year- and now this."
The mixture of pain and guilt enveloping him. Ray closed his eyes, his hand still resting on the glass window. "I love you" he thought. He opened his eyes and turned back to the nurse. He reluctantly allowed her to take him- he didn't want to leave Neela but he knew it was best, if it meant he could see her later.