DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them. Duh, I wouldn't have time for fanfiction if they were in my living room!!
"Sammy?" Dean immediately pulled his little brother up and forced him to look up. The tears were brimming in Sam's eyes but his little brother was clearly refusing to show weakness infront of Dean. He knew that Dean had often vanquished a spirit and would probably think he was being stupid, okay, Dean wouldn't think that - but Sam still didn't want to tell him.
"Sam talk to me man! You're my little brother, you can tell me whatever!" Sam always told Dean when something was wrong, it was kind of unbelievable that his little brother wasn't hanging on his arm, desperate to tell him everything. The youngest Winchester always wanted to care and share, it was Dean that hated the concept. But if his little brother wanted to talk, in this instance, Dean would definitely listen.
"She was eight, Dean! Eight. And I dragged her back to that room where those sickos…" Sam trailed off and looked away, the tears now running thick and fast down his cheeks. "And she nearly killed you, she could have killed you and Dad and then what would I do?"
Ah. Dean now knew the problem. Sam had never liked hunting, Sam hated it in fact. The whole idea of killing something, anything, was a complete sin in his little brother's eyes. Dean couldn't understand that, the things they hunted were evil and deserved to die but the second thing Sam had said, he could definitely understand.
They were hunters, and hunters had a lower life expectancy than other professions. Dean knew that, and he often felt sick knowing that each time his Dad went out on a hunt without him it could easily be the last time he saw him alive. He never worried about Sam. When the kid was eight years old himself, Dean had promised that nothing would ever happen to him. And that was not going to change. Sam would always be fine, protected - safe. And at the moment, Dean was still a teenager, he was invincible. Although he'd had more close shaves than every teenager he knew, Dean always escaped alive and as far as he was concerned that wasn't going to change. As long as Sam was around, Dean would be.
"They tortured her Dean, all her life. They tortured her. And I reminded her of that. The one thing she had escaped in death, and I dragged her back and rubbed her face right in it. She was terrified. I brought her back into that room and it tortured her again Dean. I pulled back all those memories before I destroyed her." Sam looked away again, holding his hands up to his eyes in a weak attempt to hide the evidence that inside he was getting torn apart. It was all he had stood for through the hunts, he had never made the destruction of a soul more painful than it should be. Hell, he had never even ended a spirit. Spirits had past lives, past tragedies and Sam felt guilty for dragging all that back.
"Hey Sammy, hey." He pulled his brother close and hugged him gently. "She's gone now, in the next life or whatever, the happy place. You know what Pastor Jim always says."
"Yeah, whatever. You don't know that Dean. And even if that's true; what if you cross the rainbow." Sam was watching the ground again now, he couldn't look his brother in the eye.
"Sam. I'm not going anywhere. Dad's not going anywhere! You know that little brother." Sam looked away. Sure, he knew that his family were the best of the best but everyone could slip up and obviously tonight had proven even John and Dean Winchester could.
"I know. I know Dean. It doesn't matter." Sam pulled away and rolled over in bed, away from his brother's incredulous stares. Yes, Dean would look after him and never let anything happen to him, ever. He trusted his brother and father with his life and trusted they would look after themselves while on a hunt too. He just still worried about it, and knew he always would.
If one thing was certain, Sam was going to escape hunting. He wasn't going to live this life forever. He wasn't going to worry about this forever.
Yey! I can't believe I actually wrote a fanfiction so quickly… please REVIEW!! Even if you didn't like, just 30 seconds of your time to tell me you hated it and I can then improve! xx