Uhuh…all mine… my precious…oops- wrong show
River stood next to Wash's chair and let herself cry. It wasn't the sort f crying you would see other seventeen-year old girls do; there was not wetness on her cheeks. But he filled her mind with green light and laughter.
Her finger trailed over the dinosaur toys, now rarely touched and never played with. They missed him; he had been their Lord and their hearts and imagination.. He had held them and loved them and dreamed for them.
It would be a long time before hands would show them the same compassion. Months. Nine months to be exact.
It was not her place to tell Zoe about Wash's son, with his father's eyes and his mother's bronzed skin. There were some things best left unsaid, and it was not as if the warrior wouldn't know about his arrival beforehand. She would be very aware of his presence when he weighted her down to a waddle and pressed hard against her bladder in later months. She would be even more aware of him when he came out.
But he was not here yet and the toys were only aware of right now, of his absence. And River's gentle fingers, although well-meaning, were still stained with blood. Blood of people she had never seen, and of those she had killed unknowingly.
"Wait, little ones. This Land will be yours again," she whispered to them sadly and turned away, disheartened.
She opened her mind to Wash, sitting here in the repaired chair, his favorite back-warmer, and felt his lingering smile. There was just a glimmer of his old self in this spot…most of him had gone to Zoe, to his son. Every once in a while when River saw the woman walking around the cargo hold she would see a greeny-gold light around her body, mixed with her own magenta tones.
With a sigh River opened her mind to the rest of the crew, sleeping in Serenity's belly. They were held tightly there, the ship so sore and afraid of loosing another to the dark of death; that was Serenity's fear.
There was Mal and Inara, finally allowing their colors to mingle. River thought that earth brown and regal gold mixed well; she liked the fragrance of their love. They had let it bloom instead of trying to weed it out with horrible poisonous smells and ugly colors. Now they slept entwined in his cabin, because the shuttle was still barren and, River believed, it would remain that way.
Next was Simon and Kaylee….still awake and frantic. River's mind sipped quickly of their joy and departed, not wanting to intrude on their intimacy.
Zoe was solid and dark, the gentle tickles of Wash's spirit guarding her with love and laughter, soothing away her nightmares and loneliness….preparing her heart and her soul for the new life within her.
And finally….Jayne. He wore the crimson of kings and noble men. But the cloth of this color was ragged and threadbare. Old nobility crudely woven and roughly cut. Who had sown it she did not know, and dared not to look further into that part of Jayne's heart where dark memories dwelled, because there was a suspicious look of dried blood on that red mantle and River had seen so much blood.
Blood frightened River something fierce. She remembered that blood. Her blood and another's…black eyes and flashing teeth.
She could feel Serenity shudder as her memories ran back to devil's eyes and pain. The ship tried to embrace her but River was drowning, falling endlessly into a pool of dead blood, dark and pungently foul. A bloodbath, and the blood was hers. Both his and hers.
River wept. This time tears trickled down as she ran from the bridge to her room, bypassing Jayne's bunk and his startled expression.
Hunger pains and a strange dream had woken him from a sound sleep.. He was unused to such dreams. Other dreams, older and more familiar had changed into images of a greeny gold Zoe and flashing black eyes that looked haunted and animalistic. But they were forgotten now, as he had been off to get something to eat….but there was River, running, a silent and wraith-like dancer, her flower dress fluttering behind her, tears on her cheeks.
Fear clutched hard in his chest.
A girl's tears frightened Jayne something fierce.