A/N Hi guys! I've been overwhelmed with the response to this fic, thank you to everyone for taking time to read it. I have the storyline down and have a fair bit already written so I'm aiming to update at least once per week. This is a pretty personal fic for me, one of the lines Dumbledore says here is exactly what a teacher once said to me back in my school days- extra points to anyone who can guess which one! Anyway, onwards with the story!!
After what seemed like an eternity but was probably more like a minute, Dumbledore moved from the window and settled himself in the high backed chair at his desk. He peered at Harry above his glasses, who looked at his feet to avoid those sharp, piercing blue eyes.
"Your professors all seem to be quite concerned about you, Harry." Dumbledore sighed. Harry opened his mouth to say something but realised he had no idea what to say in explanation so promptly shut it again.
"They say you seem disconnected from everything and everyone. It's also been noted that your concentration is practically non-existent and that your class work is nowhere near its usual standard. Far from it, in fact. Looking at you here before me, I must say that I am quite inclined to agree with them." Dumbledore continued.
"I'm fine, Professor. Really." Harry said, defensively.
"I might believe you Harry but all the evidence before me leads me to quite the opposite conclusion. You are much too thin, you are not eating and you look like you have not slept properly in weeks. Your eyes have no life in them, Harry. You look like a child who is, quite frankly, done with the world and everything in it." Dumbledore said, his piercing eyes still trained on the boy in front of him. "Let us help you, Harry. Don't keep pushing us away."
Harry shook his head and tried to hide the tears threatening to fall by pinning his chin to his chest. He was just about to spill everything he'd been bottling in to Dumbledore when Severus Snape crashed through the office door.
"That BOY is out of control, Albus. I have never, NEVER, been treated with such disrespect in my classroom. I won't have it, Dumbledore. I want him out." He spat the last four words, glaring at Harry who had used Snape's dramatic entrance as an opportunity to swipe at his watery eyes. Dumbledore simply stood from his chair and moved around to lean against the desk, a sigh escaped his lips. Harry said nothing but his jaw jutted out in quiet defiance of Snape's words.
"I believe there are some...ah, extenuating circumstances at play here, Severus. Allowances must be made." Dumbledore said seriously and Harry looked up, shocked at the headmasters response.
"ALLOWANCES!" Severus spluttered, before recollecting himself. "Of course, allowances must be made for the chosen one, precious little Potter can't possibly be expected to live up to the consequences of his actions."
"I did not say there would be no consequences, Severus." The Headmaster said, regarding Harry for a moment "you will come here to serve the first of your detentions with me tomorrow evening immediately after your last class, Mr Potter. Do not be late. You may go."
Harry practically ran from the room, not quite believing his luck. He could hear Snape shouting at Dumbledore from 3 corridors away. He made his way towards Gryffindor Tower where he found Ron and Hermione. They ran up to him and he relayed what Dumbledore had said, leaving out the conversation prior to Snape's arrival. Ron declared that it was "bloody brilliant" whereas Hermione dove straight into her usual lecture.
"Honestly Harry, you've gotten so lucky. You can't speak to Snape like that, you could have gotten into so much trouble!" She winced.
"He's fine. Plus, it was worth it to see the look on Snape's face when you called him a git." Ron smiled. "I'm going to imprint it into my mind forever."
With that, the three of them headed downstairs to the Great Hall for dinner, chatting happily. Harry didn't eat much at dinner, choosing instead to push his food around the plate. This wasn't missed by Hermione but she chose to ignore it for now, not wanting to ruin Harry's good mood. After dinner, Harry headed down to the Quidditch pitch for training. Fred and George, like the rest of the school, had heard about Harry's potion lesson and clapped him on the back for his bravery. After a motivational speech from Oliver, the team got up in the air. It felt magnificent to be up on a broom again. The wind lifted his Quidditch robes to trail behind him and he felt like there was nothing up here that he could not do. He twisted and turned, chasing the practice snitch until it became too dark to play. The team assembled back on solid ground, where Wood discussed their training schedule for the week before they all headed back to the locker rooms. Harry didn't want to change out of his Quidditch gear in front of everyone so quickly grabbed his bag and excused himself, heading quickly up towards the castle. He couldn't keep hiding his scars forever and resolved to head to the library to see what he could find that might help him. He found the small section at the back on human transfiguration, picking out a book titled Transformative Concealment Spells. He figured there must be something in here which he could adapt to his needs.
Harry began to flick through the book which he quickly discovered held an overwhelming level of detail within its pages. He knew it was very advanced magic; normally only taught at N.E.W.T. Level. Harry eventually found one that he though might work which was originally intended to conceal facial scarring but the book said it could be used on any part of the body. He grabbed a piece of parchment from his bag and tapped his wand on the textbook, copying the information onto the parchment. Harry placed the book back and went to the nearest bathroom so that he could practice in private. He stood in front of the mirror and pointed at his arm.
"Vulnus velius" he spoke clearly and felt a slight tingle on his arm. He lifted up his jumper slightly to see that his scars were still visible but much less red. He continued with the incantation until the scars on both arms were completely hidden. Feeling rather pleased with himself, he resolved to work on the scars on his back tomorrow as the time was already approaching curfew. Harry, shoving his wand in his pocket, left the bathroom and walked quickly up to Gryffindor Tower.
He joined Ron and Hermione as they worked on their Charms homework until they all became too tired to focus on feather-light spells and retreated to bed. Ron fell asleep quickly, his soft snores echoing around the room almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Harry twisted in his sheets, his thoughts racing through his head at 100 miles per hour. He pondered what Dumbledore would have him do in his detention tomorrow. He knew it would be a lot better than whatever Snape would have had him doing. He wondered whether Dumbledore would be able to sense his concealment spells but thought it was worth the risk. He couldn't have anyone, especially not Dumbledore, finding out that the boy-who-lived was starting to question whether he wanted to, in fact, live. Harry pulled a blade from his bedside table and pressed it into his skin, hissing as he felt blood pouring down his wrists. He cast a quick cleaning charm and wrapped an old tshirt around the wound. Exhausted and feeling slightly dizzy, Harry shut his eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.
He woke at around 4am, his stomach growling. He forced himself to get out of bed and into the shower. The hot water beat painfully into the open welts on his back. Once he was dressed for the day, Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak and headed for an early morning walk. He silently made his way down to his spot by the lake and lay down with his eyes towards the sky. He watched the sky slowly lighten, the sun beginning to shine through the clouds. He shut his eyes for just a second but when he opened them again the sun had risen well over the mountains. Harry looked at his watch and realised he must've fallen asleep, the time was almost 10 o'clock. Harry swore under his breath and rushed off to his first class, Transfiguration. He knew it would be almost over but at least he could get there in time to apologise to Professor McGonagall and prevent her from sending out another search party. By the time he had reached her classroom, he was out of breath and sweating. The class were all practicing a new spell as Harry walked in, McGonagall looked up from her desk and stared at Harry crossly.
"Sorry Professor, I...I slept in" Harry said quickly.
"Sit down, Potter. I will see you after class." She replied, cooly. Harry quickly slid into his seat next to Ron who hissed
"Where have you been? Hermione's been worrying herself silly."
"I'll explain later." Harry whispered back and began copying down his friends notes. All too quickly, the lesson was over and Harry walked sheepishly towards the desk at the front of the room.
"You overslept, Mr Potter?" McGonagall asked seriously.
"Yes Professor, I'm really sorry." Harry said quietly.
"Then would you care to tell me how exactly you managed a lie in, given that your roommates have already informed me that none of them saw you this morning, asleep or otherwise?" She said, her nostrils flaring.
"I...I woke up early and couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a walk. I must've fallen asleep by the lake." Harry explained, looking at the stone-tiled floor the entire time.
"I believe we have already discussed why it is not wise for you to be wondering around the grounds alone out of hours, Potter." McGonagall said, angrily. Harry took a deep breath, he had forgotten about that.
"It won't happen again, Professor." Harry said, meeting her eyes. The woman seemed satisfied,
"Yes, see that it doesn't, Mr. Potter. 5 point from Gryffindor will be taken for your tardiness. You may leave." She said, looking back down at the paper she was marking. Harry turned quickly and headed towards the door when she heard McGonagall call him back.
"Oh, and Potter? Do see that you get an early night, won't you? You look dreadful, lie in or not." She said softly. Harry nodded and left for History of Magic.
He explained to Ron and Hermione about his little nap while Professor Binns droned on and on about Earnit the Ugly. His two friends looked at each other concernedly but chose not to comment. Binns' lecture was interrupted only by the loud growling of Harry's stomach, protesting his lack of breakfast. Once the dreadfully boring class was over, they headed to their first Defence Against The Dark Arts excitedly. When they arrived, Lupin told them to put away their books, informing them that today's class would be entirely practical. The class gathered around a small wardrobe, which appeared to be shaking slightly. Each student took it in turn to face the boggart inside with Lupin offering lots of praise to the eager third years. When Harry stepped up to the boggart, the room became unnaturally cold. Harry froze, looking at the dementor before him with wide eyes. He heard screams in his ears and Uncle Vernon shouting 'BOY!'. Harry was powerless to do anything as the world around him went black. He fell to the floor with a thud as the students around him gasped. Lupin quickly stored the boggart back in the cupboard and, when his attempts to rouse Harry failed, he conjured a stretcher which carried Harry from the room. He turned to dismiss the class before walking briskly to the hospital wing with Harry floating alongside. He called for Poppy once he arrived, who bustled out of her office and gestured for Lupin to place him on the bed.
"What's he done this time?" The matron asked tiredly while she began examining him.
"We were studying boggarts today, unfortunately Harry's boggart took the form of the dementor." Lupin said, rubbing his face worriedly. Harry started to wake up and Pomfrey summoned a hot chocolate out of this air, ready to give to the boy. When Harry opened his eyes he stared up at the high ceiling. It was a ceiling he recognised all too well from his various Quidditch accidents. Panicking, Harry sat bolt upright and made to get out of bed. 2 pairs of arms on each side pushed him back down, he looked around and realised the arms belonged to Madam Pomfrey and Professor Lupin. He squirmed to try to escape their grip and winced as Lupin tightened the grip on his forearm pressing painfully on last nights cut.
"Potter!" Pomfrey said sternly, pulling him out of his panic. "There is no need for the melodrama. You simply need to drink this hot chocolate and then you may leave. Honestly, you'd think I was running some sort of torture chamber down here."
Harry relaxed slightly and leant back, taking the steaming mug from the matron. He gave Lupin a small smile in apology and took a sip from cup. He felt warmth spreading through his body, right down to the tips of his fingers and toes. He took another long gulp and his eyes suddenly felt very heavy. Hold on a minute, Harry thought. Why did he feel so sleepy? He realised all too late that the mug didn't only contain hot chocolate and he felt the mug being pulled from his hands as he tried to fight the sleeping potion. He kicked his legs as much as he could manage but it was useless. The world around him went black once again.