It seems like an eternity passes as Chris makes the cold, snowy drive up to Josh's house. Chris listens to some random radio station, a pop one (Chris is obsessed with pop music, believe it or not), and bites a nail, stressed and nervous about seeing Josh again. Why wouldn't he be? The last time he had seen him, he had berated him and been quite cruel to him. Not that Josh had been a saint that night, but Chris still felt bad; that was his best friend, after all.
Chris is nervous to see how Josh looked, too. The cuts Melinda had described would leave some nasty scars and Chris doesn't want to stare or make Josh feel uncomfortable. That's the last thing that Chris wants to do.
Chris wants to make Josh feel loved and safe. After having been down in those mines for so long and after having been through so much, he wants to be there for Josh in every way he can. Josh has started to heal, yes, but it will be a long time before he is back to normal. Or whatever version of normal Josh can be.
When Chris finally arrives at the Washington residence, a fluttery feeling fills the pit of his stomach. Whether it's simply nerves or something else entirely, Chris isn't quite sure. Chris exits his car and zips up his coat as he makes his way up to the front door of the Washington Manor. He knocks on the door and shoves his hands in his pockets as he waits for the door to be answered.
Melinda answers the door, still in a bathrobe and with hair still a bit messy. "Oh, hello, Christopher!"
"Hey, Mrs. Washington."
Melinda cocks an eyebrow.
"Hey, Melinda."
Melinda smiles. "That's better. I'm sorry I am not properly dressed; I may have forgotten that you were coming over today."
"Oh," Chris says. "Is this a bad time?" Chris prays not.
"No, no, it's fine. Josh has already eaten, gotten ready, and taken his medication so it's completely fine to see him."
Chris exhales. "Oh, good!" He says a little too enthusiastically.
"Well, you know the way. I've told him that you'll be here to visit him today," Melinda exclaims. "He was extremely excited when I told him."
"I am, too."
"Stay as long as you wish, Christopher."
"Thanks, Melinda. For doing this. I really appreciate it."
Melinda smiles. "Of course. Just seeing the way Josh's face lit up when I mentioned your name let me know I made the right decision. I haven't seen him so happy about something since he returned."
Chris goes scarlet and clears his throat. "U-Uh, good. I'm glad I could help."
Chris stands there awkwardly and Melinda cocks her eyebrow at him again. "Did you want to see him?"
Chris snaps out of it and nods. "Oh, y-yeah! I'll d-do that."
Melinda smiles and heads toward the direction of the kitchen, leaving Chris to head upstairs to Josh's room. Chris ascends the grand staircase covered in Persian carpeting and starts to sweat, suddenly rethinking the long sleeve shirt, sweater, and parka he wears. He sheds the jacket and hangs it over his arm as he makes his way back into the house, towards Josh's room. He takes the right hallway and pauses when he gets to the last door on the right. He takes a deep breath and gently grabs the doorknob, turning it and pushing it open.
The room is bathed in light. It looks exactly as Chris remembers it: classic horror movie posters are taped up on the wall (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Exorcist, and Night of the living Dead to name a few). The giant television is still propped up on a stand and it's set up before Josh's bed which still bears the same blue plaid bedspread that he's had for years. His closet is a disaster as always: t-shirts are in unorganized piles on the top shelf, button-ups hang haphazardly off hangers, shoes are thrown into the bottom of the closet, not paired up with each other at all. And sitting at the wooden desk, which is covered in notebooks, Post-It notes, journals, wrappers, pencils, books, and God knows what else, is Josh, headphones in, writing in a journal, and completely oblivious to the fact that Chris has entered the room and also that he has a giant grin plastered on his face.
Josh turns a page in his journal and as he turns his head to the side, he finally sees Chris, standing there in his room. Josh rips out his headphones and rises out of his chair, a smile tugging at the sides of his lips.
"Josh," Chris breathes.
Josh grins. "Hey, Cochise."
Chris stalks over to Josh and wraps his arms around Josh's torso, enveloping him in a tight hug. Chris closes his eyes and can't help but breathe in Josh's scent; he smells like mint and his hair smells of citrus. Chris buries his face in Josh's neck and lets out a deep breath, causing Josh to blush and his stomach to flip.
"W-Wow, Cochise, you r-really missed me that much?" Josh laughs, patting Chris on the back.
"So much," Chris mumbles into Josh's neck and Josh's toes curl at the movement of soft lips against his skin.
Chris and Josh stand there for a solid minute, just holding each other, before Chris realizes how long they've been doing this and he releases Josh from his steely grip.
Chris rakes a hand through his hair and laughs. "S-Sorry. Guess I didn't realize how much I missed you."
"Nah, no worries, man," Josh waves a hand dismissively at Chris.
Chris takes Josh in. The bags under his eyes appear more defined and darker than they usually are. He's lost quite a big of weight; his sweatpants sit low on his hips and Chris notices that his hipbones are bonier than usual. His arms are skinnier, too. He looks different, yes, but it's still Josh.
For the first time, Chris notices the jagged scar that goes from the side of Josh's lips up to his right cheekbone. It's healed as best as it could, but it's still pretty visible right now. The other scars, the ones on his left cheek and forehead, Chris barely sees and he tries not to stare at the more obvious one that runs up the right side of Josh's face.
He fails to do this, and Josh chuckles. "Pretty sick, right?"
"Oh, I didn't mean to-"
Josh shrugs. "It's okay. It's hard not to stare at. It's kinda' the first thing you see."
"I just see you," Chris smiles softly. "I was so relieved when I heard they found you, Josh."
"Yeah, I was pretty fucked up when they found me, apparently," Josh replies, staring at the floor. "Like horror-flick-fucked-up."
"That wasn't you, though."
Silence.
"Josh?"
"Chris, I killed someone."
Josh won't look at Chris. Chris sits down on Josh's bed and Josh joins him begrudgingly.
"Josh, that wasn't you that did that. You did what you had to to survive. And besides, doesn't the Wendigo posses someone and make them eat people or something like that?"
"It's either that or when a person resorts to cannibalism, the Wendigo possesses them," Josh explains. "The lore doesn't say what causes it exactly. But the thing is, I don't remember eating anyone. All I remember is being dragged away by Hannah, waking up, and being in this dark, dank place with a dead body at my feet.
"Hannah never came back for me and I was so messed up, I had no clue what to do. I just figured that I should wait until help came."
Chris bites his lip. I should've came, he thinks.
"But it never did. Not for a long time at least. There was no food or anything down there. I tried to last for as long as I could but it was so terrible, Chris. I was starving, actually starving. Some of my hair started to fall out, my skin started to crack. And the hunger, oh my God, it was so bad. At first, it started as a dull ache and turned into a stabbing pain in my stomach. It felt like knives were being twisted into my gut, deeper and deeper. I was vomiting my stomach lining, I could barely walk; it was really bad.
"At one point, after I'd just finished vomiting for the fourth time that day, I looked over at the dead body, five feet from me. It was decaying and disgusting, but at that moment, it looked as good as a fucking Christmas ham. I remember looking at him, that body, and then nothing."
"And that's when the spirit possessed you."
"I guess so," Josh shrugs. "But, I mean, it was by m-my hands that some poor r-ranger is dead. I-I did it. I killed them and... ate them. Oh, God." Josh visibly pales at the thought of this. "I'm just glad that I don't remember doing it."
"You don't remember doing it because it wasn't really you, Josh. You had no control over what you were doing."
"Chris, because of me, someone is dead. Yeah, I didn't consciously kill them, but they died by my hand." Josh sighs and wraps his arms around himself. "I'll never forgive myself for that."
"You were basically brainwashed, man!" Chris exclaims, trying to reassure his friend. "You couldn't help doing that. Something terrible happened to you, but it wasn't your fault."
"It wasn't all bad, I guess; I got this super cool scar." Josh changes the subject and points to the right side of his face. "That's how to get the ladies. And the gents. Which is the gender I would be interested in."
Chris forces a laugh, but a wave of jealousy washes over him. He didn't want to think about Josh being with other people in that way. Wait, but why? He pushes the thought aside.
"Well, how are you feeling now?" Chris asks.
Josh shrugs. "Um, better. I mean, I get nightmares a lot. Of the Wendigos, of my sisters..."
"You have nightmares about them?"
"Yeah. They tell me I could've saved them and then they drag me down into the mines. It's terrifying."
Chris puts a gentle hand on Josh's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Josh. You've gone through so much."
"I deserve it, though."
Chris looks at him quizzically. "What?"
Josh looks down at the floor again. "For what I did to all of you guys. It was awful. And I caused this. Everything that happened. If it wasn't for my stupid plan, none of this would've happened. It was my fault and I got what I deserved."
"Josh," Chris shakes his head, "You didn't do this. Who would've know that there were fucking Wendigos on your property or that they even existed in the first place?"
"But if I wouldn't have invited everyone up-"
"Do you blame Hannah for her and Beth's death?"
Josh looks up at Chris. "What?"
"Because, I mean, Hannah did invite everyone up to the lodge, right?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"It's no different. What you did was shitty, I will give you that, but Josh, none of this was your fault. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Simple as that. And besides; your mom said that the doctor you went to had given you the wrong medication, so, really, even the prank wasn't your fault."
"So, y-you... you don't blame me?"
Chris smiles. "No way."
Josh smiles sadly. "Well, that makes one of us."
Chris sighs and decides to change the subject. "Josh, I just wanna' say that, uh, I'm sorry."
Josh returns the quizzical look Chris had given him earlier with an equally confused one. "For what?"
"For not coming to find you."
"Chris-"
"No, I should've looked for you. I mean, Mike saw you get dragged away by Hannah but he never saw you die. I should've assumed-"
"Of course you assumed I was dead! Hell, I thought I was going to die!" Josh exclaims. "I was dragged away by a Wendigo; people usually don't bounce back from that."
"I should've looked for you anyway. You're my best friend and I should've done more."
"Chris, I'm glad you didn't try to find me."
"Why?"
"Because you'd probably be dead right now. Some Wendigo woulda' taken you down."
"Yeah, right!" Chris laughs. "I could have taken 'em on!"
Josh cocks an eyebrow, in typical Washington fashion, and grins. "Oh, yeah? Why's that? Besides you've defeated them in one of your video games? This is real life, Cochise."
"And what makes you so sure you could've taken one on? 'Cause of your expansive knowledge of horror movies?"
"That probably would've come in handy, yes."
Chris laughs, a loud, booming one, and it feels so good to laugh again. It feels good to be happy again.
It feels good to be with Josh again.
"So, how have you been?" Josh asks. "How's Ash?"
Chris grimaces. "Uh, well, I'm good, but I've got no clue how Ashley is. We haven't spoken in a few months."
"Oh? That's too bad." Josh tries to sound disappointed, but Chris detects a hint of relief, maybe even happiness, in his voice.
Chris wonders why.
"How's everyone else?" Josh asks.
"I'm not really sure," Chris admits. "Everyone kind of went their own separate ways after what happened. Well, besides Mike and Jess, that is."
"Did he hit that yet?"
"Not sure. I would assume so, it's Mike. He could get a nun to have sex with him."
"That he could," Josh laughs. Josh's laugh sounds like music to Chris' ears. "That's too bad, though, that no one hangs out anymore. Great, that's another thing I ruined."
"Hey."
"Oh, right. Sorry. Inexplicably caused. That better?"
"Slightly," Chris says. "Sam wants to see you, though. When you're up for it."
"I'm not sure when that will be," Josh says, rubbing his arm. "I just... I'm glad you came. I was worried...that...you wouldn't want to see me."
"Of course I wanted to see you, Josh," Chris replies.
"I was a really shitty friend." Josh is back to staring at the floor.
Chris hooks a finger underneath Josh's chin and raises Josh's face to meet his. Chris looks Josh straight in the eyes, blue staring into green. "You were sick. You didn't know what you were doing. I don't blame you. Now, stop saying mean things about yourself."
"Doctor's orders?" Josh smiles.
"Doctor's orders."
Josh looks at Chris, just takes him in. He hadn't seen anyone in so long, and he is glad that Chris is one of the first people that he gets to see.
Unlike Chris, Josh was very sure of his feelings when it came to Chris. He liked him, in that way. Pure and simple.
And what's not to like? That hair he always fussed with for too long, that crooked smile, those incredible blue eyes. Josh was a goner as soon as they had met.
It was true that Josh hadn't know since third grade that he had feelings for Chris; he didn't figure it out until junior year of high school. Ashley had started going to their high school the year before, and Chris fell for her. Hard. Josh never really knew what he saw in her; yeah, she was pretty and sweet, but Josh always thought he could do better. But, of course, as Chris' best friend, he was supportive of his romantic endeavors. Or attempts at romantic endeavors; that a more accurate word for them.
Chris was rummaging through his locker, looking for something. Josh walked up to him and asked, "So, Cochise. Who ya' gonna' ask to prom?"
"There it is!" Chris exclaimed, pulling out a chemistry book from his locker. "I thought I'd lost that thing last month! Sorry, what'd you say, Josh?"
"Who are you gonna' ask to prom?" Josh repeated, almost demandingly.
Chris looked over in the direction of Ashley's locker, where she stood fixing her headband, looking into a mirror in her locker. When she saw Chris staring at her, she smiled and waved, then proceeded to turn down the hallway towards her first period class.
"I want to ask Ashley, but do you think she'd say yes?"
Josh's heart sunk at this, but he put on a happy face. "Of course she would. Who could say no that handsome mug?"
Chris grinned. "I am quite dashing."
You're telling me, Josh thought. Wait, what?
"You should do something super cheesy," Josh suggested. "Do a promposal or some shit. She'll eat it up."
"Like, I give her a stuffed fish and say, 'You're the only fish in the sea for me!'?"
"Yeah... or you could do one that doesn't suck."
Chris scoffed. "Oh, yeah? You got any better ideas?"
"Look on Pinterest. They have tons."
"How do you know?"
"Hannah keeps showing me all these promposals that she hopes Mike will use to ask her."
"Oo. That's not gonna' happen."
"No, it is not."
Chris smiled. "Well, alright! I'll ask her. Thanks, man."
"Yeah, for sure."
Chris headed down the hallway toward his first period class (Chemistry) and Josh watched him go. He was glad Chris was happy, but why did he have to ask Ashley?
Wait, Josh thought. Why does it matter? It's not like I want to get all dressed up and be picked up by him in his car. I don't want to slow dance to some sappy song with him. I don't want to feel his hands on my waist and run my fingers through his hair while I- Fuck.
Josh isn't happy, per say, by the way things had played out with Ashley and Chris, but he also wasn't sad. And besides, Chris didn't seem to torn up over the whole situation, so Josh figured that he could feel the same.
Well, maybe he was a little happy.
"So, do you wanna' watch a movie or something?" Josh asks, not wanting Chris to feel awkward when a silence has filled the room.
"Maybe another time," Chris says. He rises from the bed and grabs his coat which he had laid on the floor. "I want you to rest and start to heal."
"Slowly but surely." Josh follows suit and rises from the bed. "When can I see you again?"
"I'm free Monday. Does that work for you?"
"Yeah, it does."
Chris smiles. "Perfect. It was great to see you, Josh. I'm so glad you're back."
Josh's heart leaps at this. "Thanks. It's good to be back."
"See ya, Josh."
"See ya, Cochise."
With a final smile, Chris grabs the door handle, twists it, and pushes, passing through the door.
Josh exhales and sits back down on the bed. He runs his fingers through his hair and rubs his temples. He lays down on the bed and stares up at the ceiling, not really seeing anything, only thinking of Chris.
Josh feels so lucky. Chris never gave up on him. He always supported him and believed in him. He always was there for him.
And Josh loved him for it.
Love, Josh thinks. I love Chris. I do. I'm in love with Chris...Fuck.