I stare incredulously at the piece of paper Dee has just placed in front of me. It's a plane ticket to America. One way. I laugh nervously, but glance up to find a very serious expression looking at me.

"Are you serious?!", I eventually manage to get out. "You drop this bombshell on me immediately after a fucking surgery and you expect me to just up and leave?"

Dee winces and raises a palm in a gesture for me to calm down. "Please keep your voice down. Just relax, Ciara."

I snort derisively, rocking back and forth slightly in my chair, no longer able to sit still. "Oh!", I say, "Yes, why don't I relax? That'll fix everything! You've just told me that you and this… this Sadler woman deliberately engineered me to be spare parts for a goddamn clone, as if that wasn't fucking crazy enough already, you then abandoned me! At least up until now I could comfort myself with the thought that my mother was some single prostitute who would have somehow been worse for me than the life I actually had, but no, oh no, no, no, I was very, very planned and somehow still ended up unwanted! Thank you very fucking much!"

I'm breathing heavily from my outburst. Some of the diners around us are now sneaking furtive glances my way. I slap my hand down onto the table to try to relieve some of the tension that is making me feel as though my head is a balloon about to pop. I feel Dee's hand lightly touch mine, and I meet her eyes. They are soft and she looks upset. Good. Bitch.

Dee quietly pays the bill and leads the way back to the car. When we are both inside and I feel slightly calmer, I sigh and run my hands through my hair.

"Why did you… she… whoever…. Why did they leave me?"

I ask this as nonchalantly as I can manage, but I can't breathe. It hurts me deeply that I was born for a specific, and apparently very important, purpose, and I still wasn't enough for anybody to want to keep me.

I don't even have to look up to feel the pity rolling off Dee's body, and I recoil as though it could physically harm me. The silence is uncomfortable. I have no intention of being the one to break it.

Eventually, Dee speaks. "It wasn't personal, Ciara", she speaks louder for a moment to drown out my 'Go fuck yourself' and continues, "This is all a lot bigger than you or Sarah. Siobhan couldn't have you living with her and Sarah, if they were ever found out they would not only have found a clone but a guarantee that if that clone ever fell ill, they would have a way to save her in you."

I cut Dee off. "I'm not even going to ask why anyone would be looking for them, obviously this situation is fucked so let's just ignore that. Why would it be such a big deal if they found me? Couldn't they just have one of me for every clone? Then they're all safe. If they can make a clone they can make a.. what, a sibling I guess?... that could donate to every clone. Right?"

"Well..", Dee begins, obviously measuring what she's about to say very closely. "In theory, yes. But, I guess Leekie somehow found out what Siobhan and I had done. In the middle of the pregnancy, Carlton came to Siobhan with the news that the clones who were under observation by monitors had all had their genes…. The simplest term I can think of is locked. They can't be accessed unless you have the code."

I nod. Makes sense really. "How many of the clones had someone like me before this happened?", I ask.

Dee pulls a grimace. I shake my head. No. No way. This cannot be happening. "I'm the only one?" I feel sick. Sick. "How sick is Sarah?", I blurt out. Dee frowns. "Ah", she exhales, placing her hand on the headrest I'm leaning against. "It's not Sarah that's sick."

I snap my head up, gripping the seat on either side. "What are you talking about?", I growl between gritted teeth. Dee hurries to explain. "Some of the clones have found each other. They're together now. Siobhan has access to them. Sarah isn't sick, but, according to Siobhan, one of her sisters is. Badly."

I frown. "But I'm supposed to save Sarah, isn't that the whole point of my existence?" Dee puts her hand on my knee, and I'm so engrossed I don't even pull away. "Originally, yes, that was your purpose." I search her eyes. "But now?", I prompt. Dee leans in to me slightly and says, "Now, you're the only hope for all of them. They're Sarah's exact clones, so you're a match for them all. Sarah's sister will die without your help."

I let out a breath I've been holding for what feels like a decade and slide slowly away from Dee. This is insane. I feel like I'm in a movie. This. Is. Not. Happening. Dee starts the car and begins to drive without a word. I'm grateful. I need some quiet to try to process the chaos in my head.

After a while, I ask Dee where we're going. "The airport.", she replies. I'm taken aback, and Dee doesn't even need to look at me to respond accordingly.

"Look, Ciara. You've had a hard life. I am truly sorry for that. You've done what you needed to do to survive, and you act like some hardened criminal, but we both know you're not. You're a good person, and I know you wouldn't let someone die just so you can stay here and drink until you need a third liver. I understand there's still so much left unanswered, and I promise I'll explain it all to you when there's time. I wish I could give you time to decide yourself that you want to go, but I can't. It has to be now. Alright?"

I open and close my mouth, trying to think of anything intelligent I can respond with. My palms are sweaty, my heart is pounding in my throat, the surgery scar hurts like a bitch. For the first time in a very long time, I feel alive.

"Well?!", Dee exclaims, exasperated. I look at her, seeing the brightness of my eyes reflected in hers. I lick my lips and can't help but smile.

"I've always wanted to go to America."