Hours later and I was still at the police station. I had finished retelling the events of that evening and I was finally able to see my parents, though they didn't look too well. I suppose I had put them through a lot of worry- not all of it was from that evening either.
I sat down with them at a table for what felt like the first time in a lifetime "Amu we have to talk" my mother had a serious look on her face which not only pilled me with a feeling of shame and guilt- it also worried me.
A police officer came in and sat with us she seemed nice but just like my mother she had a worried look on her face "Miss Hinamori in your statement you said that the suspect had your college ID. Is that right?"
I nodded my head as I ignored the strange sense of dread that was eating away at me as she continued "you also told us that he implied he was going to come after you again? Is that also correct?" I nodded again quietly wondering where she was heading with this.
She sighed slightly and sat forward with a frown "with these facts we have decided that it is in the interest of your safety that we put you into witness protection under a false name and identity until such a time that the suspect is no longer a threat to you. Is this ok with you?"
It seemed as though my fears were justified. Many thoughts had passed through my mind at that moment but my main concern was how was I supposed to find Ikuto if I was in witness protection?! I looked at the officer desperately "it makes sense since he will probably come looking for me, but is there really no other way? What if I refuse your protection?"
My mother stood up taken aback whilst the officer replied "you may feel free to refuse our protection but we can not guarantee your safety, of course your family will also need to be placed under our protection- I urge you to think of them in this situation"
I bit my lip in frustration, she was right. How could I deny my family reassurance that I was safe and how could I deny them that safety too? I lowered my head and offered a small nod "ok, fine"
Once again I had to make the decision to move on. Just as I made peace with my decision to have Tadase as a friend; I now needed to make peace with my decision to move on from Ikuto- and my other friends.
The officer nodded in approval and continued "In order for you to continue your studies we will move you to a new college to live on campus under the safety and watchful eyes of the tutors there" that didn't sound so bad I thought.
She gave me the folder containing my new identity but I simply handed it back with a roll of my eyes "erm…This one is for a boy" she smiled gently for the first time but handed it back to me.
"We are dealing with an extremely dangerous individual; the officer who was in pursuit of him identified him as someone who is believed to be a part of a notorious Mafia! They have ties every where and no doubt they will be on the lookout for you. This is why we took every precaution possible"
I stared down at the folder in disbelief I can't believe he was such a dangerous man and not simply a plain old thug! I really was in danger and because of this I would be living as a boy?! I looked at the name on it- my new name; Akito Toyama.
That very night I was on my way to my new college; an all male's college! Grumpily, I looked at myself in the car mirror; although I was dressed as a boy I still looked feminine!
At least I don't have to cut my hair I thought but instead I looked at the wig that it was hid under. The wig was a lot darker than my usual hair colour and so I noted that my skin looked a lot paler as a result- though my unhealthy lifestyle from the past year most likely hadn't helped!
I shrugged off these unnecessary thoughts; it didn't matter what I looked like it was all to keep me safe! The car stopped and I got out- taking a moment to look at my new college- it was huge! The officer who had driven me handed me my starter pack wordlessly before helping me with my luggage and driving away.
Looking up once again at the huge building I took a deep breath and attempted to mentally prepare myself. Ok I am a guy now. My name is Akito not Amu...Akito not Amu "ok here I go!" I took a final deep breath and headed inside- ignoring the wild butterflies inside my stomach.
My room number and key was attached to my starter pack and though I had eventually found my room- it was not without difficulty and so it was with great relief that I found my room was empty so I could sprawl out on my new bed carelessly so that I could momentarily lose any composure and then reassemble ready to face my new room mate!
My eye instantly spied a violin case nearby, I swallowed against the lump in my throat as my mood began to worsen geez…the college were aware of my situation- couldn't they at least let me have my own room! I picked up one of the jackets that was thrown carelessly on the chair and threw it over the case- thus removing it from my sight.
I soon realised that I needed to start quickly unpacking so that I could hide anything 'girly' that could give me away- having already begun playing wild scenarios in my head in which my room mate came across something incriminating, and none of them ended well!
A short while had passed since I had entered my new room before I heard the door open, thankfully I was now un- packing the box containing male clothing. I kept my head down while I fought the nerves inside.
"oh I guess your my new room mate?' I stood up and turned around to introduce myself. My room mate had already walked away over to his side of the room, but everything about him made me feel sick. His long dark hair and choice of attire were achingly and painfully nostalgic.
Why does he have to remind me of Ikuto so much? I feel like I am being taunted! Unknowingly I stood glued to the spot in a daze as my eyes fixated on the person in front of me.
I watched as he pulled his jacket off the violin then turned back to replace it on the chair once again. Having turned I was finally able to see his face, once again it seemed as though I was to endure further torture! His face even looked the same…I dropped the box I was holding in absolute astonishment!
He doesn't just look like Ikuto…it is Ikuto! Without thinking, I ran forward towards him and glared at him through angry eyes "why are you here!" he blinked in apparent confusion but then groaned "what's your problem?! This is my room too!"
My heart dropped, I wasn't Amu right now- I was Akito. There was no way I could tell him it was really me! It wasn't that I didn't trust him, but I had to live with him! How could I do that while dressing as a guy when he knew I was a girl? This would cause so many problems!
I quickly tried to rearrange my face"Hi. Sorry about that- I only meant…you know… it's a Friday night! Why are you in here when you could be out having fun? By the way I'm Am...I mean Akito, my name is Akito Toyama, nice to meet you!"
He shrugged with his iconic air of indifference "I'm not really interested in that kind of thing" he walked straight past me before lying on his bed with his arms behind his head- closing his eyes as if I wasn't there.
He hasn't changed at all! He's still just as relaxed all the time! I had remained lost in my thoughts and hadn't realised I was still staring at Ikuto. After a moment I became aware he was looking at me through one eye "is there any reason your staring at me?" I shook my head and looked away abruptly- ignoring my pounding heart.
I wasn't sure how to act around him as a guy and though the atmosphere felt awkward I carried on unpacking rather than worrying about it.
It was only when I had finished packing that I realised I had no idea what to do next. I needed to keep my gaze away from Ikuto- who was still laid down with his eyes closed; this was easier said than done. Here he was…I had spent so much time missing him and searching for him and yet now I had finally found him I couldn't even run into his arms and cry my heart out with all the anger and hurt he had caused me.
Thankfully the awkward silence had been broken by a knock at the door I looked to Ikuto who either hadn't noticed or didn't care. I rolled my eyes once more and opened the door- only to have my heart shattered once again as I gazed upon three figures- three figures who I knew so very well.
Having being dangerously close to throwing my arms around them, I forced myself to remember I was a boy now! Tadase, Kukai and Nagihiko all walked in, looking taller and older than I remembered- but sure enough it was them!
Ikuto pointed to me "this is my new room mate" I tried to compose my voice to be a bit deeper, honestly wishing I had practiced a bit more "Hi I am Akito Toyama nice to meet you" I smiled at them shyly trying to keep the pain from showing in my face.
They all greeted me back and introduced themselves, but my heart was aching- they were all so polite and reserved with me, but this only made me feel even lonelier! Kukai addressed Ikuto with a thumbs up "we were thinking of going off grounds for a while you want to come?' he shrugged his shoulders and sat up "might as well it's boring in here"
I watched helplessly as they all headed off towards the door- once again leaving me behind when Nagi stopped and looked back at me "want to come Akito?" he smiled gently breaking all of the icy anger pent up inside me- from this I was able to smile back! Nagi has always been so sweet I'm glad he hasn't changed "'yeah sure!"