Part Two: Christian

Christian sighed as he got in the back seat of his Audi, Taylor at the wheel as usual. Another day, another quiet ride home, to Escala, where he lived with his wife.

He scoffed softly to himself. His wife. The notion of calling her his wife seems preposterous. His wife was a smart mouthed, intelligent, funny, kind, beautiful, sexy woman. The woman who lived in his home day in, day out, was a quiet, docile, indifferent woman. She smiled but it never reached her eyes, she nodded in acquiescence to his requests, she never looked into his eyes anymore, never gave him any sign that she was happy, that she was in love. She was a puppet. Worse than a submissive, she was lifeless.

He hated it.

He hated himself.

Because he made her like that. He beat down her spirit and turned her into this shell of herself. He missed her. He desperately missed the woman he fell in love with. He wanted to bring that woman back, but he had no idea how.

Everything he did seemed to backfire. When Ana had first told him she wanted to work, he was actually offended. He worked his fingers to the bone to provide for her. She had everything she could ever want. Hell, she could set it all on fire and rebuy it thousands of times over! So why the hell did she need an insignificant little publishing job? It didn't make sense to him. Unless… she had mentioned something about doing this because he was never around. And he had promised her to cut back on his hours, despite the fact he'd yet to do it. Was that all this was? A cry for his attention? He didn't know. He didn't know anything about relationships! He needed advice!

He hadn't known what to do, what to think, so he'd decided to confide in his closest friend- the one person who knew him best, who he trusted to give it to him straight. And when he'd asked Elena her opinion about it, she had taken his side immediately validating that he was right- it was asinine for Ana to want to work. Elena helped him see that Ana was trying to exert control over him. She knew she didn't need to work, she was just trying to gain independence. And then Elena proceeded to explain to him how independence was a ticking time bomb for a marriage. "If she's already pulling away from you, this soon into the marriage, it will only spell disaster for you in the future unless you nip it in the bud. And you simply cannot give into her demands about cutting back on hours. She knew who you were and what your job entailed when you got married. She should be at home waiting to cook you dinner every night, massaging your feet and thanking her lucky stars you give her the time of day. Don't let her manipulate you, Christian."

With renewed confidence that he was doing the right thing, he refused to let Ana work.

But then she brought up children. The idea had sent him into full on panic mode, which sent him straight to the one person who would know exactly what to say to him.

When he'd told Elena that Ana was discussing children and how he knew he could never be a father, Elena had confirmed his suspicions by agreeing. "Not everyone should have children. In fact, they are more of a nuisance than anything. You have all the money and power in the world, why would you want to be a slave to a bunch of little brats? Put a stop to her thoughts about this right now, Christian. Tell her you don't want them once and for all. She'll get over it. And one day she'll thank you for it. When she'd had the chance to travel the world and do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, she'll thank you for keeping her from making the poor decision to be a mother."

Christian had again followed this advice, breaking the news to Ana the next day. But she had done what Ana always did- instead of listening to him and accepting that he knew best, she pushed him to see a therapist about his supposed 'self-loathing' and tried to urge him to change his mind. When he'd told Elena about her reaction, Elena had tutted, giving him a knowing look. "She'll forget all about you if you have children. You'll lose your place in her life. You need to keep her close. She'll never love you the same. Your whole life will suffer. She'll be exhausted from the baby. There will be no time for the two of you. It will be her and that little crying-shit machine against the world. And forget about having a sex life. You'll be lucky if she pencils you in once a week!"

Then she'd given him the ultimatum. Baby or job. It infuriated him, her giving him an ultimatum. No one gave him ultimatums. Another conversation with Elena convinced him that she was pulling away from him. If he didn't do something, he was going to lose the love of his life. And he couldn't lose her. He loved her with everything in him. He just didn't know how to handle these situations she was putting him in! He had no idea what the right answer was, so when Elena gave him her advice, he ran with it, trusting that she knew what she was talking about and, as his friend, would never steer him wrong. He and Ana were both new to this relationship thing. Both of them jumped into marriage with less than six months of commitment under their belts. Elena was shrewd. She may not exactly be partial to the idea of 'love', but he trusted that she was a keen enough and experienced enough to know what it took to make it work. But she wasn't living in his house. She wasn't dealing with Ana's unhappiness, Ana's anger, Ana's sadness every single day about these topics. So in a moment of weakness, he broke, and settled on the less of two evils. He allowed her to work.

Elena had been displeased by that, for sure.

"Are you sure it's such a bad thing?" Christian asked, running his fingers through his hair? "She seemed so… happy. She's spent so much time being upset with me lately, it was nice to see her so happy…."

"Of course she was happy darling. She got her way. She got the great Christian Grey to bow to her demands. And now that she's done it once, she's going to think she can do it again and again. I'm telling you Christian, she's setting herself up for independence from you. And why would she need it? The only reason I can think is that she is playing the long game- anticipating needing to take care of herself someday. Someday when you're, perhaps, no longer around to take care of her. You said yourself she's been so unhappy lately…"

"So what do I do?" he asked, panicked now at the idea of Ana setting the stage to leave him.

The plan she'd come up with had been a brilliant one. Buy whichever company she started working for and put her in charge of it. His wife was smart, but she had no background in business management. She would fail if left at the helm of a publishing company. And when she did, she would come back to him. She would quit because it was too much, have a newfound respect for what he did, and be happy to be back home with him taking care of everything in their lives, including her. Sure, she might be a little down on herself for a while when she failed, but that would pass, and in the end, it would leave them in a place where they could flourish together.

When Ana didn't give up at work, he pushed near impossible tasks on her, trying to push her to fail. Eventually he cut back on the bullshit he heaped on her at work, realizing there was nothing her could do to break her and make her quit, and he was personally causing her to be away from home even longer, which was the exact opposite of what he'd been trying to do all along.

When that didn't work, at Elena's insistence, he began withholding affection from her. Their once witty and flirty interactions dwindled until they were non-existent. But instead of falling to her knees and begging for his attention, she too started turning her back on him and walking away, the way he now did. His light, bubbly wife slowly became a cold, empty shell. Desperate to see glimpses of her fire, he eventually began starting fights over things that he didn't even care about, just to try and get her to react to him at all. Though, it rarely worked.

But despite the poor results, the pattern repeated for years. Blindly, he followed Elena's advice. And for all of her efforts to bring them back together, Elena's advice had failed time and time again. None of it worked. All of it seemed to drive Ana further and further away from him. True, she was no longer fighting him on most things. If anything, she was more amiable than ever. But she was also empty. He wanted her home, counting the minutes until he arrived so that when he walked in the door she would jump into his arms and he would take her to bed and worship her like she deserved. But instead, she would acquiesce to his various demands, always with the same curt nod and detached "Yes, Christian."

Even their love making, the one area they'd never suffered, he'd managed to turn into a cold, passionless endeavor. Under Elena's suggestion, he'd begun taking her strictly from behind in order to withhold intimacy from her. "If you pull away from her, she'll come running back, desperate for your affection." She hadn't though. She closed off even more. He's resorted to either withholding or forcing orgasms from her for a while, trying to initiate a reaction, but she just went with the flow of whatever he did. Long gone were her looks of pleasure, her excitement, her ecstasy. In its place was her indifference, her apathy, her boredom. His wife became little more but a masturbatory tool for him to use. And she didn't even seem to care. She'd always just wait for him to finish, climb off the bed and head straight to the shower, never even looking at him anymore.

He was sinking fast. How did everything get so fucked?

Devastation lanced through him every day at the idea that she was no longer happy with him. He'd done everything Elena suggested to keep her close, and none of it worked. What else was he supposed to do? He loved his wife, and the last thing he wanted was to see her so miserable, but he just had no idea what he was supposed to do to fix things anymore.

When the SUV pulled into the parking space at Escala, he climbed out slowly, his emotions so battered that he was barely functioning anymore. He already knew what would await him once he got to the penthouse. He would see the light on under the library door, knowing Ana was in there working. There was a 50/50 chance she would join him for dinner, but it would be mostly silent. And at the end of the night they would go to bed, where he would wait for her to fall asleep so he could hold her and pretend everything was okay.

He was, however, surprised instead to see his wife sitting on the sofa when he exited the foyer, a glass of red wine in her delicate hand. She looked up at him, giving him a small smile. Subconsciously he knew it was a sad smile, but he was so elated to see his wife smiling and waiting for him that he blocked that fact out and instead let the tendrils of joy weave around in his chest. How many months had it been since she was waiting for him to come walking through the door? How many months had he desperately wanted her to?

He stripped himself of his suit jacket and tie, tossing them on the chair adjacent to them, then took the empty spot next to her on the couch.

"Hi," she said softly, looking him in the eyes for the first time in so long.

"Hi," he quickly replied, eating up her attention to him like a toddler.

She gave him a quizzical look, picking up a wine glass sitting on the table that he hadn't noticed, and handing it to him.

He took it with a sincere thank you, to which she replied with another small smile. Her smiles weren't even showing her teeth, but they were so beautiful. Something he hadn't seen in so long.

"We need to talk, Christian."

Her lips saying his name was like heaven to him. Talk, yes. They needed to talk. Talk to your wife and fix this. She used to beg you to talk to her, and now, it's been months since your last real conversation. This is what you've been missing. This is what you've been needing to do. Talk to your wife, instead of talking to Elena about your wife. No more. Tonight, you two will hash this out and start back on the right track. You will find a way to rebuild everything that's been broken. You two love each other and that's all that matters. You will find a way past this rough patch and back to each other.

"Yes, we do," he said eagerly.

"I'll start," she said, setting down her wine glass and rubbing her palms on the thighs of her skirt before clasping her hands together. "Things have been… bad lately." She looked at him, and he nodded slowly in confirmation, so she continued. "We aren't happy anymore. I am not happy anymore," she said, pointing at her chest emphatically. "I am miserable in this marriage."

Christian felt his heart seize in his chest. They were painful words to hear, but they were the truth. She knew it, he knew it. They needed to start somewhere, and the truth was obviously the best, albeit most painful option.

"I know," he confirmed sadly.

"I can't be miserable anymore," she said with just heart wrenching honesty that it made his stomach turn. He was responsible for her misery. He had purposely made her miserable trying to bring her to heel. And it had failed spectacularly. He could he ever redeem himself? They had a long road ahead, but he was willing to do anything to get his wife back to the person she was when they'd gotten married.

"I know," he nodded eagerly, letting her know he was on the same page. He would make sure things changed. He would make sure things got better.

"You were my first love, my first everything. And I will always cherish the memories we had-"

Dread washed over him, nearly knocking the breath from him.

That sounded like… that didn't sound like the talk of someone willing to work on the issues. But that only meant—

"We'll fix this, Ana," he said cautiously.

Her eyes widened, her head jerking back a little in surprise. Slowly her head shook back and forth. "No, Christian," was all she said, her voice barely audible.

He was off the couch in a second, down on his knees before her, his large hands taking her petite ones in a firm grasp. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no," he repeated quietly, desperately over and over, pressing his forehead into hers. Tears sprung to his silvery gray eyes, his voice deepening with the thickness of his emotion. "No please Ana don't leave me. I'm sorry. I love you. Please don't—we can work on this. We can fix all of this if you just give me chance—" he pleaded, begged, beseeched with every ounce of sincerity he had in him.

Tears came to her blue eyes now, glimmering just over the top of her lower lid but not falling. "Oh Christian," she sighed softly, pulling her hands from his and using her thumb to wipe the streaks of wetness from his face. "It's too late," she said softly, apologetically, but firmly.

"No!" he cried out, his voice strangled in his throat. "It's not too late! How can it be too late? We're both here, we both want the same changes so it's not too late-"

"We both know this marriage has been irreparably broken for months. We've both been miserable. There's nothing redeeming about it anymore. All we do is fight, if we're even talking to each other, that is. You haven't wanted anything to do with me in months. We're not lovers, we're not friends. We're two individual people existing in the same space who can't even manage to scrounge up a pleasantry most days."

"Ana—what… what are you saying? Are you saying you want a—" he couldn't even say the word.

But she didn't seem to be suffering from the same affliction.

"A divorce, yes." He winced at the word, winced at her ability to say it with such certainty. "I'm only asking to put an official end to something that's been dead for months, Christian."

"But… I love you," he said, like this one true guiding fact eliminated logic of a divorce in their situation.

"Christian, the truth is, there was a time my whole world started and stopped at your feet. But now, all I want is to move on from this," she said, motioning between them.

He reared back away from her, her words like a slap across his face. She took the moment to lean forward and grab something off the table he hadn't noticed. A folder.

"Here's the paperwork I had my divorce lawyer draw up. I want this to be as amicable as possible. I'm not asking for much. I know we didn't sign a prenup, but I hope you know I truly never was interested in your money. I'd like to keep Grey Publishing, since I've spent a lot of time building it up to what it is now. But everything else- the money, the properties, etc, I'm not asking for any of it. So I'm hoping to just sail through all the legal aspects of this. The paperwork is already set, as long as you agree with my terms. You just need to sign," she rambled on details he didn't fucking care about, didn't want to think about, pointing out things on the paperwork like she was discussing everyday business.

He struggled to hold in the sob climbing up his throat.

"Please don't do this, Ana," he begged, causing her to look up at him again.

Her posture crumbled a little as she saw the look of desolation in his eyes.

"It's already done, Christian," she said simply, her eyes showing only gentle termination. "I'm done."