Risks and Rewards

Description: Elijah has a new year and a new mission, but this time Light won't be so cooperative. Let the battle of ideology begin.

Disclaimer: Death Note is still not mine. Go figure.

A/N: Ack, sorry this is so late. I got sick there for awhile, and the kids did, too. I'll try to do better for the next one. Thanks so much to the reviewers! I don't think I've ever gotten so many for the first chapter before. I'm truly grateful.

Chapter 2

Long after the front door had closed and quiet spread through the house, Elijah sat on the bed and stared at his knees. Light had reacted exactly as he had predicted. Shock, refusal, anger. He had even lashed out with a verbal blow in an attempt to shake the pain from his own shoulders and dump it onto someone else's. Just as Elijah had expected him to do. So why? Why if the encounter had essentially gone according to Elijah's script, why did it still hurt so very much?

The blond shut his eyes and pressed his forehead against his legs. Something in his chest burned and stung. Something unfamiliar. Ever since coming to live with Julie and Rich, he had been experiencing new and surprising emotions, but this one he didn't like. This was more than simple sadness or regret. This hurt.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him. But even before the thought finished crossing his mind, he was shaking his head. He had decided almost immediately upon returning that he would tell Light everything. Light's intelligence and suspicious nature would never allow Elijah to attempt his mission unchecked. The very first time the older man spoke of Kira, the younger would jump on him with questions. He could try to lie, but Light would see through it, and then when the truth finally did come out, Light would accuse him of tricks and betrayal. So Light had to know up front what Elijah's intentions were; it simply wouldn't work any other way.

But now …

Elijah suddenly threw his legs over the side of the bed and rose to his feet. With a speed that would have surprised anyone who knew him, he left his room and headed downstairs. He needed sugar. Lots of sugar. Enough to drown this pain and make everything normal again.

Once in the kitchen, he went straight for the cookie jar. Comfort lay within it; he was certain of that. Julie was the kind of woman who liked having cookies in the cookie jar, even if they were store-bought. Ever since Elijah had taken up residence under her roof, the little ceramic container had never been empty once.

Eyes shining, Elijah plucked the lid off of the jar and peered inside. He considered his options for a moment, even going so far as to open a cupboard for a plate, but then he decided that a situation like this one required drastic measures. Nodding to himself, he shut the cupboard door and lifted the entire jar off of the counter instead. With prize in hand, he walked into the living room, flipped on the TV to a news channel, and collapsed onto the couch to lose himself in peanut butter and chocolate chips.

He had barely started on his first cookie, however, when his mother's voice cut through the drone of the newscaster.

"Elijah?" She stood in the doorway to her office, gazing at him with a confused expression. "Where's Light?"

"Went home," he answered shortly. He reached into the jar and pulled out another cookie even as he finished chewing the first one.

"That's odd. Usually he comes to say goodbye to me before he goes." Her eyes drifted to the closed front door before coming back to rest on him again. "Is everything all right?"

Elijah only shrugged, refusing to meet her searching gaze. When he heard her sigh in affectionate exasperation, he concluded that she had finally noticed the jar in his lap. He quickly shoved two more cookies into his mouth as she crossed to his side. A moment later, her hands came into his line of sight, silently requesting the object he had stolen.

Normally, Elijah would have given it to her without a fight; it was a little game they played where he tried to overdose on sweets and she always stopped him. But today he wasn't playing. He had absolutely no intention of giving the cookie jar back. The second her hands appeared, he curled up protectively around the jar, pushing it into his chest with so much force that it hurt a bit. He paid no attention to the little gasp that left his mother's mouth or the step back that she took. He didn't care if he had shocked or worried her, didn't care that he probably looked like a two-year-old. No one was going to take those cookies away from him.

After a long silent pause where neither of them moved, Julie walked around to Elijah's other side and sat down on the couch next to him. Wordlessly, she held out a hand again, but this time it was not a motherly order as much as a friendly request. Elijah stared at her small fingers for a moment before understanding. Carefully, he uncurled himself, reached into the jar, extracted a cookie, and placed it into her hand. Julie brought it to her mouth and began crunching on it, never once looking at him. Elijah searched her face in the hopes of discerning her thoughts, but she kept her expression blank.

"So," she said once half of her cookie was gone, "you and Light had a fight."

Elijah blinked and turned away. Internally, he berated himself for being surprised. Of course Julie would be able to figure out what had happened on her own. She was Julie.

As he retrieved another cookie for himself and began to eat it, she continued to herself, "Guess the honeymoon is over for you two."

Elijah inhaled sharply, bringing a dust cloud of cookie crumbs into his lungs. "Mother!" he managed to cough out after a minute. "Light and I are not in a relationship!"

Finally, she turned to him, and the beginnings of a smile crept into her lips. "Of course you are," she replied. "You're friends with him, aren't you? That's a relationship."

"Fine," he conceded, wiping the tears from his coughing fit from his eyes, "but I don't see how the concept of a honeymoon applies to me and Light."

"It just means you've had your first big fight," she reassured him, her smile growing. She reached across him and into the jar for another cookie as she continued, "You're close enough friends now that you're not dancing around each other, trying to make sure the other doesn't get upset. You don't have to wear those kinds of masks around each other now. You can be yourselves and trust that the other person won't judge you or abandon you." She chewed for a moment and swallowed before remarking, "It's actually a very large step in any relationship: the first big fight. In particular, how you handle it can dictate how the relationship evolves from this point."

Elijah dropped his gaze into the interior of the cookie jar and swallowed nervously. How to handle it? What a terrifying responsibility! All these emotions and social interactions were so new and foreign to him. He had no idea how to handle the pain scraping against his heart much less the cause behind it. And this fight between them was so much more than a simple disagreement over trivial matters. How could he possibly know how to resolve this broken situation with Light in the proper way?

"How should I handle it, Mom?" he asked quietly.

To his disappointment and despair, she laughed. "I can't tell you! Even if I knew what you two fought about, I still wouldn't be able to tell you." She reached out a hand and placed it gently on his shoulder before continuing, "Everyone and every situation is different. I could give you advice, but there's no guarantee that it wouldn't backfire. You understand that, right?"

He nodded glumly and hunched his shoulders a little more. The cookies suddenly didn't seem as appetizing as before. The sharp pain in his chest had transformed into a hollow ache that had spread outwards through his entire body. He felt like he was sinking into it, drowning in it, and no amount of sugar would ever be able to pull him back out again.

The hand on his shoulder moved, and before Elijah realized what was happening, Julie had grasped his chin and forced him to look at her. "Now hold on," she said brightly, "there's no need for that face. It's not as if the world is about to end just because you and Light had a fight." Her smile softened as she ran her eyes over his face. "It's okay to make mistakes, you know," she told him. "It's the way you learn. And learning how to fight and how to make up is very important, in any relationship."

"How to fight," he echoed quietly. "I thought …" He lifted his eyes to hers and stared at her in confusion. "I thought successful couples don't fight."

"Sure they do," she laughed, finally releasing his chin. "No two people who are even remotely close to each other can go through life without fighting once in a while."

"But you and Rich don't fight."

"Oh yes we do. We just do it when you're not around." She winked at him playfully. Then, more seriously she continued, "We've also had enough practice that we can fight while staying civil to each other. Without shouting or flying off the handle. It takes a lot of practice, though." She leaned back against the couch and let her eyes wander off, remembering. "When we were first married, we used to fight for hours. And I mean hours. Yelling at each other, accusing, threatening. We even threw the 'D' word around more than once."

Elijah stared at his mother, stunned. He couldn't believe that she and his father had once done such things, that they had even spoken of divorce. Knowing them as he did, knowing how happy they were together now, it just didn't seem possible.

Julie noticed his expression and smiled at him. "You want to know why we're still together?" When he nodded, she explained, "Because we held on. When we weren't fighting, we realized that what we had was something worth keeping, so we grabbed onto it and held on. If one of us let go, the other would just hold on tighter. It didn't matter how many storms hit us; at the end of it, we always came out together. Eventually, we grew and matured, as individuals and as a couple, and we learned how to fight and how to make up. And twenty years later, here we are."

Quiet descended, and Elijah let it fall. Once again Julie had shown him just how flat and lifeless his previous way of thinking had been. Before, to him a fight had been a battle. At the end of it, someone would win and the other would lose, and his personality drove him to be the victor each time. Light was the same. But Julie had learned how to look at a fight as means for improvement. In her scenario, both could win. And while Light and L had continued to clash until their relationship was brittle, Julie and Rich had strengthened and deepened their bond until fighting was no longer necessary. From that viewpoint, Elijah realized, neither he nor Light had ever won a true victory. They had both lost from the very beginning.

"So," his mother's voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to the present, "I guess I can give you some advice after all."

"Hold on," he said for her. "And don't let go."

She smiled gently at him, pleased. "That's right. Of course, that's assuming your friendship with Light is important enough to keep."

"It is," he assured her, smiling back. "I know that much."

Chuckling softly, she reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear. Elijah leaned into her touch, suddenly wanting her warmth. The empty ache in his chest had disappeared; once again she had comforted him with an ease and grace that his sugar habit could never provide. Acting on an instinct that he found himself more and more willing to follow, he moved the cookie jar to an end table and gathered his mother up in his arms. He found to his surprise and delight that she fit just perfectly against him, her head resting on his shoulder and tucked beneath his chin.

"Thank you, Mom," he whispered after a moment.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," she replied in an equal tone. She lifted her head just long enough to kiss his cheek before settling down again.

Elijah paused. His mother had been giving him kisses practically since he had moved in, and over time he had grown accustomed to them enough to receive them without flinching. But before this moment, he had never even considered giving one back. He had never wanted to kiss anyone before. Even when he had kissed Annie, he had only wanted to kiss someone, not her in particular, and that had only been so that he could cross it off his list. The act of kissing just had never seemed appealing or necessary.

But this time when Julie kissed him, he had felt a little tremor of warmth pass through him, and a strange yearning feeling had begun to hover around his mouth. He didn't understand it; it didn't make sense. Yet, when he thought about it, none of the physical contact desires and instincts he had been having lately made any sense, but when he gave into them, he didn't regret them. With anyone else, perhaps he would have, but not with Julie. Never with her.

Hesitantly, Elijah leaned down and pressed his lips against the top of his mother's head. The action inexplicably sent a pleasant flutter through his chest which only intensified when he heard her little gasp of happy surprise. Instead of pulling away when he had finished, he turned his head and placed his cheek on the spot that he had kissed. It made absolutely no sense, but he could feel the kiss against his own face. It was complete and utter nonsense, but that didn't change the fact that it was and that it felt wonderful.

Tightening his arms around his mother, Elijah decided that he would make up with Light tomorrow. For now, he would simply enjoy the presence of the amazing woman who had allowed him to be her son.

xXx

He had barely finished the ninth judgment of the evening, the black ink still glistening slightly in the light from his desk lamp, when someone knocked at his door. Annoyed at the interruption, he considered just ignoring it, but his visitor seemed to have read his mind.

"Open up, Light! I know you're in there. The guy across the hall said he saw you go in and hasn't seen you come out."

Light grimaced in annoyance. Annie. Angry by the sound of it. Grumbling to himself, he closed the Death Note and slid it into one of his desk drawers. It wasn't exactly the safest place, but he truly doubted Annie would go rooting around through his things. And if she did, he could always kill her.

After closing down his browser windows and double checking that the desk drawer was shut, Light approached the door and opened it. The deathglare that pierced him would have made a lesser man cower.

"You missed dinner at Julie's," she stated as way of a greeting. "Again."

His trademark smile slipped onto his face without a second's hesitation. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, but I've been really busy."

"Bullshit," she answered. Her eyes flickered over his form which was still blocking the doorway. "Move."

"What?"

"Move. I'm coming in."

Repressing a resigned sigh, Light stepped aside and allowed the irate blonde to push by. She stomped to the center of his small room and turned on him dramatically while he shut the door and leaned against it, waiting for the performance.

"Why are you avoiding Elijah?" she demanded, jumping right to the heart of the matter.

Light swallowed another sigh and the urge to roll his eyes. He had absolutely no intention of discussing this with Annie. "I'm not --"

"Don't you dare try to lie to me!" she interrupted with shocking force. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

Light blinked at her and held his tongue. Telling her that if he thought she was stupid, he wouldn't bother hanging out with her was probably not the best of ideas at the moment. Nor was warning that her current behavior was reducing his opinion of her more and more every second.

"Elijah has been trying to contact you for two weeks," she told him as if he didn't already know. "Two weeks, and you won't pick up the phone for him or answer his emails or visit him at the house." She paused a minute to huff menacingly, a perfect picture of female indignation. "I don't know what you two fought about, but enough is enough."

"Annie, it is none of your business," he informed her coldly.

She sneered at him, unfazed. "If you weren't acting like a three-year-old, I would agree with you. But after two weeks of watching one dear friend wear himself out and worry himself to death trying to make up with another friend who insists on being an asshole, at that point I think I'm justified in butting in."

A sudden pang of guilt lanced through Light. Images that he had refused to see flooded his mind. Images of Elijah hanging up the phone in disappointment after yet again being sent to voice mail. Of him sitting by the window, watching the people pass by and looking in vain for one person in particular. Of that familiar face growing more tired and more despondent by the day. Light had banished those thoughts from him, using all of his mental strength and resolve to keep them away, but Annie's words had brought them crashing back again.

Light dropped his eyes and regarded the floor with interest. They were back to square one, the two of them. Back to right after Halloween when Light declared war and announced that L and Kira could never be friends. They had worked so well before because Elijah had made it clear that he had no interest in Kira, that he wasn't allowed to have an interest in Kira. But that had all changed, and Light didn't know what to do other than avoid Elijah entirely.

Slowly, Light began to realize that the fiery female in his presence had been silent for a rather long time. He raised his eyes to see her staring, wide-eyed, at his desk. For one brief moment of panic, he thought perhaps he had not in fact closed his drawer all the way, but he quickly understood the cause of her surprise when she strode over and snatched a single piece of paper from the top.

"What is this?" she demanded, holding it out for him to see.

"It's what it says it is," he answered in a bored tone. "An application for summer housing on campus."

The look Annie gave him could have sliced through steel. "Julie has your room ready," she stated in a terrifyingly even voice. "She and Rich even bought you a bed."

Light shrugged and looked away. "That's not my problem. I didn't ask them to --"

The slap that occurred from Annie's hand colliding with Light's face filled the room and bounced off the walls. He stood there in absolute shock, his cheek stinging, his neck aching from the force of having his head thrown sideways. His brain had completely shut down. He had just been slapped. By a girl. He, Light Yagami, had been slapped by a bubbly blonde girl whose head only came up to his nose.

"You … are … an absolute … IDIOT!" she screamed.

Idiot. He had just been slapped and called an idiot. By a girl.

"One fight and you're willing to cut 'Lij off entirely? I thought you were best friends! Does he mean nothing to you? Do you even know what it means to be friends with someone? Are you really that socially retarded? He wants to make up with you! He's trying his damnedest to make up with you, and you won't even give him a chance? Are you really that much of a perfectionist that if someone makes a mistake, if God forbid someone is actually human, you just discard them? Are you, Light?"

Stunned, Light lifted a hand and gently touched his still-burning cheek. It hurt, but not as much as Annie's words did. She didn't understand, of course, that this "fight" of theirs wasn't just a normal falling out between friends, but that didn't stop her accusations from reaching his heart. He thought he had barricaded it off from the world, but she had found it anyway. And now it ached with the truth of what she had said and the guilt of what he had done to Elijah.

After a silent moment, Light raised his eyes to look at her and found her crying. He swallowed hard. He had been slapped and called an idiot by a sweet, bubbly blonde who was now crying for him.

"Annie …" he whispered.

"Shut up," she cut him off, tears flowing down her face. "I don't want to hear it." Furiously, she lifted a hand and rubbed some of the tears away before saying, "Tomorrow we're taking 'Lij to the girls' softball game so he can attend a sporting event. For his list, you know. It's at three o'clock." She narrowed glimmering blue eyes at him. "Be there or I'll kick your ass."

For a second, Light considered refusing, but he eventually heard himself reply, "Fine. I'll be there."

"Good," Annie said, and she pushed past him, threw open his door, and strode down the hallway without another word.

Light watched her go from his doorway, then returned to his room and shut the door. It was strange, he thought as he sank into his chair. Friends had never been important to him. As far as status and appearances went, he had to have them because without them he couldn't be popular. But before Elijah and Ethan, no guy had ever been intelligent enough to hold his interest, and even now no girl had stirred any feelings in him. People around you, your so-called friends, were meant to be used, to be stepped on to propel yourself even higher. And yet, these past two weeks without Elijah, he had felt an emptiness in his chest that he had never felt before, and as Annie walked away from him, he had felt a strange desire to reach out to her and ask her to stay.

It was strange. He didn't understand.

He didn't like this feeling. This feeling of being lonely. Of being alone. It seemed that Annie had done much more than slap him, call him an idiot, and cry. She had shaken something loose within him that had never even budged before.

She had done something else as well. Deciding to go back to his judgments, Light finally noticed a conspicuous empty place on his desk. When he realized what had sat there, he touched the wood with his fingers and smiled. Annie had taken his housing application along with her.