Math, math, math. I thought, shuffling off towards the classroom. The entire school was really quite ugly; cream colored walls, barf shaded lockers, and puss doors and windowsills. Speaking of doors, I was approaching the one that led into my next class.

"Well hello there." I grinned at a black haired hot-stuff in a red coat and a snow while chullo.

"…HEYA." He said, looking up at me, surprised. I slipped into the seat next to him, leaning over and sneaking a peak at what he'd been doodling. He playfully flipped me off and then crumpled up the sheet of paper on his desk and chucked it at me.

"Hey!" I shouted, punching him on the shoulder. I picked the drawing up and unfolded it. An impeccable representation of Dahvie Vanity. "Oh my god!" I leaned across the isle and snuggled into his firey looking jacket. "You're really good." I mumbled the second part into his ear.

"We really shouldn't be flirting before we've even learned each other's names. I'm Jamie. Call me Jay." He rapped me twice on the head and then stopped to rum his slender fingers through the puppy-like fur on the majority of my head.

"I Ruby." I blushed. "Call me Bee."

"Excuse me?" A voice rang out from the front of the classroom. "Mr. Tucker, Ms. …" She consulted her roll sheet. "Rae! My class has started and I would appreciate it if you would give me your attention!"

I pulled out a piece of paper, poked Jay on the shoulder, and turned my attention to Mrs. Blaho. She droned her way through a lesson on geometry in her dreadful monotone. By the time the bell rang, I had everything packed up and shot out of there like a lightning bolt. I stopped just outside though, remembering my second friend in South Park. I waited a moment until I spotted him in the crowd of letterman jacket-adorned boys and too-heavily-made up girls in skimpy sweaters.

"JAYYY!" I glomped him, knocking down a crowd of tiny Asian girls in my running hug.

"Oh, my darling! We've only just met!" He placed his hand on his heart and threw back his head.

I giggled and took his wrist, leading him in what I hoped was the general direction of the cafeteria.

"Where we goin'?" He asked, mocking excitement.

"To meet MAH NEW BESTEST FRIEEEND!" I exclaimed in return. He rolled his eyes and rested his arm on my shoulder.

"And who would this 'bestest frieeend' be? I need to be sure that I approve."

"Butters!" I answered happily.

"Butters! He's adorable!" Jay squealed, head butting me.

We arrived at the cafeteria doors a giggling mess of Blood on the Dance Floor Songs and filthy references to my penis. Apparently, I had lost my leg during the war in Vietnam, but it was really quite handy, because now I can actually fit my massive penis into my pants. I duct tape a prosthetic foot to the bottom so that I can wear shoes. And yes, this story was almost entirely Jay's creation.

"Who's your lady friend, Butter Scotch?" Jay said, pointing at the Brunette next to our tiny Blonde companion. She was fussing with the purple streak in her hair and tapping the toe of her black Doc Martins to an imaginary beat.

"This is Brennie! She's in my Art class and she's real nice!" Butters said gleefully. Brennie paused for a moment, waved, and went back to braiding her highlight.

"I'm Ruby. Or call me Bee. I'm new here. And this is my friendly friend, Jay." I grinned at her. She chuckled, glancing at us again out of the corner of her eye.
"Sorry, fellers. She's in a bit of a sour mood right now 'cause Eric called her a 'filthy emo butttard.' That wasn't very nice of him, especially considerin' that he wants to ask her out to prom!" Butters marvled.

"He wants to ask me to prom?" Brennie shrieked, looking as if she couldn't decide whether she had just seen a ghost or a unicorn.

"Well of course, Bren!" Butters acted like he couldn't imagine why anyone would be able to miss that fact.

"Hey, Buttfag." A boy that looked… well… almost exactly the same as Jay, except decked out in blue rather than red, declared, wandering past with a pretty blonde in a red hoodie-dress and a smirking guy in an orange parka.

"Hey, fuckface." Jay replied, flipping the other boy off.

"Hey, sweet thang, I'm Kenny." The orange-clad one stepped foreward, winking at me. "And you are?"

"Not going to respond to your petty attempts at flirting." I replied, turning back to the group of four I stood in and laying my head on Jay's shoulder.

He scoffed and walked away, his little group following suit.

"Who were they?" I asked no one in particular.

"The one with the hat was Craig. That's Jay's cousin. They hate each other with a firey passion. The girl was Dani. She's pretty nice, but she's dating Kenny, the one in the parka, so she's always super lovey-dovey with him and never leaves his side except to go to cheerleading. They even ended up with the same schedule this year. And yeah… Kenny… is just… Kenny. He flirts with everything that breathes…and he's a total alcoholic. Dips into his dad's stash, but just a bit every time, so his dad won't notice and go ape shit on his ass." Brennie explained. I nodded, pondering my new found knowledge.

And with that, the bell rang.

Hey, friends! I loved all the OC's submitted, but sadly, I'm only taking five. Here we go!

Danielle Rose Jones

Taylor Alyssa Denim

Jamie Daniel Tucker

Brenda McKenzie

Azalea Kyzer

So review, review, review! Love you all!