10/23/2011
The two of them sat in his dining room, drinking coffee and trying to think of effective ways to kill and dispose of the beast.
"We could just starve it to death in your shed" suggested Donovan.
"Too risky. It would draw attention to itself. It would moan and roar like a bitch, progressively worse every day." Anderson countered.
It was after a rather lengthy chat that they had a agreed on how to dispose of the velociraptor.
Anderson stood by the shed door, waiting for Sally to burst in and tackle the beast. She only had one chance, or else she would die. But their friendship reassured them that everything would go according to plan. Well, except for a few things.
They signaled each other with simple eye contact and nods.
Sally braced herself, and prepared the rope.
She knocked down the door with great force, and proceeded to jump behind the startled creature. She attempted to tie up the best from behind, but she underestimated its agility. It leaped at her knees and gashed them with its lengthy claws. Donovan screeched with pain, but didn't let the agony stop her from taking a second attempt at typing it up and pinning it to the concrete floor.
Barney took this opportunity to take his shovel and hit poor Pickford on the head. Immediately the dinosaur lost consciousness. Donovan knew it was safe to take her weight off the beast, as it wasn't going to attack her again. She turned around and got up, walking along the garden path and into the house to clean her wound.
As soon as Barney heard the back door close, and was certain he was alone, he cried on Pickford's cheek. "I love you" he whispered as a tear fell onto Pickford's eyelid. He stroked his lover's scales for a quarter of an hour, and began to dig a hole to bury him into.
Barney placed the lifeless body of Pickford into the neat square gap in the earth he had left. He neatly pushed the dirt he'd dug up back into the hole, making sure to leave a small rounded stone on top, as a tombstone reading 'R.I.P Pickford the Velociraptor, the greatest boyfriend ever' would totally not look conspicuous to his wife.
Barney walked back into his house to find Sally looking rather irritated.
"My knees aren't going to heal for a while, I can tell." She spoke.
Barney didn't know what to say, all he could manage was a "Sorry".
"You can stay over the night if you want" Barney said.
And so Donovan did.