"I do not own The Legend of Zelda!" – I.K.A. Valian

"Speech"

Thoughts

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The path I followed opened up into a small clearing with a beam of moonlight shining down in the middle. It wasn't a very large clearing and I crossed it in less than half a minute. But it was very pretty, especially the way the moonlight seemed to turn the randomly placed tufts of knee high grass into something like a patch of ghostly hair swaying in the calm breeze that blew through the trees.

On the other side of the moon lit clearing, another pathway was cut into the tree line. And this path seemed better trodden than the one I was just walking down. In fact, the air held a sweet odor that made me think of…

Animals… farms! Who runs a farm in the middle of a forest? Again, a wave of déjà vu washed over me, sending tendrils of tingling pins and needles down my spine. This place seems so familiar. But I've never, in my whole life been here. At least I don't think I have. I shook the feeling off. This place must be reminding me of someplace else, that's all.

Forging ahead, I found that the tree canopy overhead was thinning out. It eventually got to the point where the moon light was lighting the entire pathway. I slowed my pace when the path made a sharp turn between two large trees, past which my entire vision was cut off.

Wonder what's past here. I hope I'm not getting nervous because of nothing. After rounding the corner and walking into another clearing, I came to an awestruck and frightened stop. My heart leaped into my throat and did a jig while my brain just stopped working.

There in front of me were two creatures, the likes of which I had never seen before. Well, I thought, I have seen them before, just not… And then it all clicked, all the puzzle pieces fell into place and formed the picture that answered my questioning mind. Oh my Lord! Oh good Lord! I'm… I'm in Twilight Princess. I'm really in it. Cowabunga dude! I could hardly keep myself from jumping up and down behind the backs of these creatures. I don't know how or why… well it probably had something to do with that psycho blond lady, but still! This is awesome!

But first, I need to get away from these monsters before they find me out and probably kill me. I started to back up, but I didn't watch where I was going and stepped on a twig. The twig, in its defense, held up my weight with all the might of its wooden heritage. However, under the unyielding weight of my foot, its power failed. And thus, it snapped with a loud and satisfying pop, alerting the Bulbins of my presence and location.

Crap.

They spun around, made guttural noises at each other, and then hobbled toward me with their clubs held high while screeching their battle cries. I turned to run back the way I had come, but found that way blocked by a another creature, this one growling. Oh Lord, there's more of them! I whirled around and watched the Bulbins close in on me, their clubs held above their small round heads, and their beady, glowing red eyes glaring at me full of hatred.

I shut my eyes, crouched low on the ground covering my head, and waited for the end to come. I don't want to die! I wailed inside. I want to go and see this world. I want to find Link and- Link! I need to find Link! He can help me find a way home.

I opened my eyes and was about to stand up when the creature growling behind me leapt over me with a snarl and pounced onto the Bulbins, knocking them both back into the air. I stared slack jawed as the grey and white blue made fast work of the two vile monsters in a matter of minutes. When all was said and done, the two Bulbins laid lifeless on the ground. Above their quickly immolating corpses sat a decently sized wolf. I could tell it was a wolf because I have one as a pet at home.

"Ah, err," I mumbled. The wolf's ears perked and he turned around to look at me, staring and befuddled. The wolf just saved me… but, Oh wait! That's gotta be him. Who else could it be?

"Err- Hi Link!" I waved and put a goofy grin on my face. It was hard to tell the wolf's response, given his limited facial features that could convey human emotion. I think he's surprised... Hmm, now what do I say?

"Umm… Listen, I know why you're here." The wolf just kept watching me patiently, sometimes tilting his head from side to side. "You're here because you need to find a sword and a shield, right?" If dogs could drop their mouths in surprise, then this one just did. Before I could say anything more, the dog stood up and quickly made for a path different path that led out of the clearing.

"Wait," I shouted, "Link!" The wolf stopped and looked over its shoulder. "Can I help, please?" I asked. The wolf stood still for a few moments, staring straight at me, before he gave a gruff 'woof' and trotted down the pathway. What does 'woof' mean?

Taking it as a form of affirmation, I followed the dog down the path and came out the other end, into what I now knew was Ordon Village. This is so cool. I'm helping Link on his quest. I looked around, surveying what I could see of the village.

Directly in front of me I could see Hanch on top of a large torch lit rock formation. On the other side of a small stream, in front of a watermill, was another torch lit area. Then I spotted Link, running away as best he could from the hawk attempting to peck his brains out. As he made his way over to where I was standing, the hawk gave up the chase and flew back to Hanch on top of the stone tower.

"Didn't get very far, did ya," I said. Link made an indignant snort and started to head back toward the pumpkin patch below the stone tower. "Link," I said, "hold on." The wolf stopped moving and looked at me over his shoulder. "Do you think you could get up there with Hanch and… I don't know, scare him?" Link looked between me and Hanch a few times before snorting again and walking back toward the pumpkin patch. This won't end well. Two minutes later, Link was back, with a few tufts of fur missing.

When he stopped in front of me, he started to lick the wounds he could get at while growling slightly. I sighed. Ok, time to say hello to Midna. I hope she doesn't react too strongly.

"Ok," I said, "this is where I come in right." Link looked at me and nodded. "First, I'm going to go down there and distract Hanch while you have Midna help you jump from that rock ledge up to the roof of the shop and then onto the roof of the house behind the shop. Got that?" After I was done speaking, I was on the ground before I could blink. But it wasn't Link that had knocked me over. No, it was a large, semi-transparent red hand that extended from the hair of a small imp like creature, also semi-transparent, that materialized from Link's shadow.

"Ouch, that hurt," I hissed while rubbing my head. There are some nasty rocks on the ground here. Ouch, ouch, ouch. I looked up and met the hostile red eye of none other than Midna, and she didn't look too happy to see me. Oh, right, Midna.

"Heh heh, hello Midna," I nervously laughed. "It's nice to finally meet you in person." She continued to scowl at me and before long that semi-transparent red hand again extended from her hair and wrapped itself around my neck.

"Tell, me" he hissed, "who sent you!" It was becoming harder to breathe as the air passage in my throat was squeezed slowly shut. "Was it Zant?" she shouted in her shrill voice. "Did he send you to finish me off? Huh, did he?" I pulled on her magical appendage with all my strength, feeling all the while my lungs crying out for relief. I managed to look up into Midna's face and saw the seething anger radiating from what was visible of her face beneath that fragment of the Fused Shadows that she wore as a helmet. "I think I'll get rid of you now, just to be safe," she said coldly. Oh Lord, who knew she was this… err… excitable. I tried to breathe in as my lungs once again made their needs clear to my numbing mind. Need… to breathe…

I force what air was left in my lungs out and managed to say, "Please… let me… explain…" before the grip around my neck tightened further. This… is it… My vision started to fade and I could feel my heart start to slow down.

But that was not it. The grip around my neck loosened and I found myself sucking in air faster than I thought possible. My heart was pounding in my ears as I coughed and hacked. It took the better part of ten minutes before I was breathing regularly again.

"Well," Midna said irately, "explain yourself. Now!" I nodded mutely. Great, what do I tell her? 'Oh, hello, I'm from another world where this entire place is a video game. I know about you cause I've beaten said game several times.' Ha! She'd be choking me again before I even finished talking. No I've got to think of something…

"Well," she said. She stared at me as if trying to burn a hole through me. Hmm, how could I safely know about Midna? How, how, how, how… I glanced at Link for any semblance of reassurance, but he was lying on stomach with his head on his paws, glaring at me intently, if not accusingly. Well, he's no help. I turned back to Midna and suddenly was struck with an idea. If I was sent by Zelda, then all would be good, right? No, no, Zelda is in the Twilight right now, that wouldn't work. Hmmm…

"I'm tired of waiting for an answer," Midna growled. No time left, got to think of something. "If you're not going to tell me, then I suppose there is only one thing left to do," she said, grinning her one fanged toothy grin.

"Okay!" I shouted. "Okay, it isn't as if you'd believe me anyway." Instead of reaching out with her hair again to choke me, Midna crossed her arms and continued to glare.

"Try me," she said while deadpanning. I guess I might as well tell her the truth. I can't think of anything else. Link perked her ears at me but was otherwise unresponsive.

"Fine," I said. Here goes nothing. "My name is Valian. I'm from another world where everything that has happened to you was… err… foretold in exact detail." Midna and Link continued to stare at me, but remained silent. I continued. "I guess you could call me a student of your journey, and for that matter, of the history of Hyrule in general." Ha ha, this is great stuff. And it isn't like I'm completely lying. Midna shifted her gaze to look at Link, who looked back. Then Midna turned back to me.

"I suppose that you might be telling the truth," she said calmly, though she didn't betray any of her intentions or emotions in her speech or body language. "However, I now want to know how you arrived here. And tell me," now she leaned in close, "what do your oracles say will happen at the end of this little journey, hmm?" Now both Link and Midna were staring at me eagerly. Great, now I'm an oracle… wait that might just work. Yeah, I'm an oracle. Or better yet, I'm an oracle in training. Yeah! That's perfect.

"Well," I said slowly, "I don't know exactly how it ends, because I'm still in training." Midna, for a very short instant, looked depressed. But that was violently, and quickly, replaced by an indignant scowl.

"What kind of oracle are you if you can't tell me what's going to happen?" she scolded angrily. Link looked back and forth between the two of us and woofed silently. "Come now," she said coercively, "you must know something." I shook my head and again Midna indignantly scowled. "Well then, I won't be needing you." She turned and floated away. "Come Link, we're leaving," she ordered as she passed the prone wolf. I can't let them leave me behind. Hmm, what can I tell them that won't give too much away? Oh I know!

"I can tell you one thing," I said loud enough for the floating imp to hear. She stopped, but didn't look back at me. "It's something that's been nagging at the back of my mind for a while now. The power you're searching for. It's a dark and ancient power that was split into four pieces. One of those pieces lies within the… umm… Forest Temple. But as far as I can tell, that area is covered in twilight. You have to be in human form to get the piece of power that you're looking for." I hope I didn't lay it on too thick.

Midna turned back around and cautiously floated toward me. "Perhaps you can be useful," she said mischievously. I swallowed loudly. I don't really like the look I'm getting right now. I think I preferred the Bulbins. At least they didn't look at me like a piece of meat. "Very well," she said, "you may help me, but only as long as you can keep providing me with the information that I require to get what I want." Yes!

"O-okay," I said. With that, Midna disappeared in Link's shadow again. Link though wasn't looking too pleased with the outcome of the conversation. He whined as he waltzed over to the rock sitting next to the store. "Right," I said, "time to get to work." This is so awesome, I thought as I moved in front of the rock formation.

"Hey, guy!" I looked up and saw Hanch leaning over the edge of the rock. "What are you doing down there," he asked. "Don't you know there are feral beasts wandering around?"

"There are!" I asked, feigning shock.

"Yeah," Hanch responded. "I've been driving them off with this hawk here." Hanch held up his arm where a hawk was precariously perched. Its tail feathers kept moving to balance the bird as Hanch's arm wavered about. "Just earlier I drove off a beastly wolf that was trying to tear up the pumpkin patch."

I noticed Link's furry head pop up behind Hanch. I couldn't help but grin as I said, "You mean that beastly wolf behind you." Hanch immediately stiffened and slowly craned his neck around to see Link's furry mug. There wasn't a second's delay as Hanch leaped up and off the side of the rock formation into the pond on the other side, screaming like a girl the entire way. Oh my lord, that is so funny!

Link jumped down from the rock formation to find me rolling on the ground, holding my side, and laughing like there was no tomorrow. After a minute or two I managed to get myself back under control, though I was still breaking into small fits of laughter every now and again. Okay, what's next? Oh, yeah, the shield. "Next is the shield…" I said.

I looked over at the watermill and saw Mayor Bo and Jaggle talking, conspiratorially as it were. But, how can we get into the watermill if those two guys are standing right there. They'll hear us rummaging around the inside for sure. I guess Link'll have to scare them too… or maybe I could go lead them away… nah, I prefer scaring them away, much more entertaining. Hehe… Link must have deducted my train of though because he started to growl.

"Oh, come on Link," I said. "It's not as if you could just walk up to them and kindly ask them to leave." Link looked at the two talking across the small stream once more before he whined again and trotted up and over the bridge. I watched him make his way behind the tree on the far side of the house. He was able to sneak pretty close to them. He's pretty good at the stealth thing. I suppose I'll fix that…hehe… I ran across the small wooden bridge and into straight at the Mayor. "Look, look!" I shouted. "A beast has snuck up on you!"

The mayor and Jaggle both spun around and stiffened up. Link though looked like a found out puppy, caught red handed, or if you prefer, found with his hand in the cookie jar. Either way, he didn't look menacing at all, but both Mayor Bo and Jaggle ran for the hills, where I presume, they hid inside of the mayor's house. This is fun, heh.

Link didn't agree though, he was snapping his mouth and growling at me. It sounded like gargled 'goo goo ga ga' to me. Midna materialized from Link's shadow and hovered next between me and the wolf. "This village is full of idiots," she said, incredulous at the scene that had just taken place. Then she turned to me and said, "I hope you know what they were saying."

"Not to worry," I said, "I know exactly where the sword and shield are." Link was still growling his annoyance behind Midna. "I'm sorry Link," I said, "But it had to be done. They didn't get hurt, did they?" Link finished his tirade with an annoyed and muffled 'woof'. "Okay," I continued, "the shield is in this building here," I threw a thumb over my shoulder at the watermill, "and the sword is in Rusl's house, which we'll get last because it requires dirtier work." Link started to growl again. "Don't worry Link, I mean the kind of dirt that you dig up." Link stopped growling and tilted his head to the side with his ears perked.

"Hurry up," Midna said impatiently, "Open the door so we get the shield already." Geeze, she's impatient. "Alright, alright already," I said. I tried to turn the handle on the door. It clicked and rattled a few times, but it didn't open. "Uh… great, I guess we'll have to go in the hard way."

"What's the problem?" Midna asked, though she clearly didn't want the obvious answer.

I turned to Link and asked, "Do you think you can jump onto the waterwheel and then onto the roof?" He barked once and started to wag his tail. I'll assume that means yes. "That's good cause there is an open door up there. Once inside, the shield is on the opposite wall. It's nailed up there pretty good, so you'll have to give it a few good knocks before it comes down. Once it does, presto, you got yourself a shield."

Link woofed softly and walked off. "Better hope you're right," Midna teased.

"Go see for yourself," I said, "I'll be waiting out here." Midna scowled, crossed her arms, and floated off to guide Link up to the roof. This is working out great. If I can follow these guys around, I'm bound to find a way to get home. And then I'll be able to put this whole thing behind me… or rather, maybe I should write it all down and post it on the internet… Maybe…

Woo, this is fun. Writing Midna is hard, fun, and entertaining all at the same time. Well, tell me what you think, good... bad... or somewhere in between. I can't tell, but that's only because I created it. Thank's for reading.