Chapter 1: Ultra-crazy

Two days later, there was a knock on Sheen's door. He opened it, but didn't seem to pay much attention to Cindy and Libby, who were standing on his porch—even though that was a strange sight. Libby didn't appear too upset, but Cindy was obviously impatient.

"OK," she began briskly, "let's make this as short and painless as possible. Tell us why we're here, Ultra-freak, and make it quick."

However, distracted by something inside his house, Sheen wasn't really listening to her.

"Ultralord's on right now!" he burst out excitedly. "This is Episode 176 where Robofiend, Ultralord's arch enemy, enlists the help of giant mutant fish that—"

"What?!" Cindy interrupted. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"No! GIANT MUTANT FISH ARE REAL! They live on planet Zwigon in the Nitrinian Galaxy!" Sheen protested.

"Sheen, go inside right now and take your medicine!" Libby ordered.

"No way! I already did! But then I had two cups of sugar, which counterbalanced the effects of the pills…" Sheen twiddled his thumbs as if he couldn't possibly stand still for two seconds together.

"You eat PLAIN SUGAR?" Cindy stared.

Sheen's eye twitched. "So?"

Recovering slightly, Libby managed to comment. "OK, that's just way too freaky."

"But not as freaky as my new special collector's edition Ultralord #8, with extreme mutation defects!" Sheen exclaimed. "Wanna see it? Huh, huh, huh, h—"

"If ya don't cut it out, you're gonna get one big ol' slap in the face!" Libby threatened, stopping Sheen.

"Look, King Spaz, we're not here to discuss your sugar addiction or your mutated plastic dolls!" Cindy remarked short-temperedly.

"Ultralord is NOT—"

"Don't even say it, Sheen," Libby interrupted exasperatedly.

"Why are you here, anyway?" Sheen wondered.

"Because you told us to come! Duh!" Cindy reminded rudely.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot."

"Just tell us why we're here!" Cindy yelled.

"OK." Sheen turned to his open doorway and shouted. "Carl!"

"Oh, great, don't tell me we came to visit the entire dork population of Retroville!" Cindy muttered to herself.

At that moment Carl walked up to Sheen while scratching the back of his pants. "Sheen," he complained, "your shouting aggravates the rash I have in a very uncomfortable place."

The girls are left staring again, completely grossed out.

"Girl," Libby told Cindy, "I knew this was gonna be bad, but not this bad."