More of this! I'm actually surprised anyone liked my silly Au with soft dad Sebastian, but I'm glad? This is set a few days after they all meet, and is more focused on the past and what happened with Ash Landers. Because of that, I have to warn y'all that there's some mention of domestic abuse in this chapter.

Anyway, enjoy this hot pile of garbage. Feedback is appreciated, as always, or any kind of comment you wanna make. (I watched Rent the entirety of the time I was writing this oops.)

Sebastian was an insomniac. This was something he would readily admit to. His body's reluctance to let him indulge in much needed slumber wasn't a secret. Even if it was, it would be a very badly kept secret. He would stay up for hours beyond what anyone else would, sometimes not crawling into his bed until it was past three in the morning. There were particular nights where he didn't sleep at all, bulldozing through the midnight hours and going to work without ever having slept a wink.

He slept better in the shop, curled on top of the emergency cot for a quick cat nap while Ciel or Finny minded the shop. He blamed it on their apartment. His past had nothing to do with the quaint, modern space, but there were still times when he was cruelly reminded of things long since done and over with.

Walking down the hallway that led to the living room and kitchen, Sebastian was mulling this over, having found a forgotten box at the back of his closet. As he reached Ciel's part of the hallway, he paused. Leaving his thoughts to the side, Sebastian nudged the door open to peer in on the kid. His laptop was open and on, bright screen glaring in the otherwise dark room, and Ciel was asleep beside it. His headphones were still on, phone next to his head and blankets bunched around him.

Sebastian padded into the room, feet sinking into the thick carpet, a soft smile on his face. Gently easing the headphones off of the boy's head, he shut the laptop and moved it to Ciel's cluttered desk, plugging his phone into it's charger as an after thought. He didn't bother to fix the blankets; Ciel usually just kicked them all to the floor anyway.

Just as he leaned down, meaning to kiss the boy's forehead goodnight, Sebastian caught sight of the singed corner of a photograph. It was one he knew well. Despite knowing what it was, he reached to gingerly tug it out from under the boy's pillow. The paper was brittle and burnt around the edges, but the picture itself was still intact; Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive, Ciel's real and biological parents. They had died in the fire that had burnt the photo. It was a wonder such a tiny part of them had survived.

Sebastian glanced down at Ciel, dropping his hand to touch the soft, slate-blue hair that he had inherited from his father. It was a miracle such a small boy had survived - and not just the fire. What had happened afterwards had been just as horrid as the death of his parents. He had been a part of the force, then, the first one through that twisting, cavernous place. He remembered holding Ciel, so tiny and bloodied and terrified, cradling the boy to his chest and swearing to protect him.

He carefully tucked the photo back where he had found it, affectionately brushing his hand through Ciel's hair before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Retreating from the room, he shut the door with an almost sorrowful sounding click.

How many time had he broken that promise? A part of him knew that it was unreasonable to think he could protect his not-son all the time; but he had told him, almost five years ago, that he would protect him.

And here they were, with the remains of Ash's sadism and cruelty looming over their every day lives. Sebastian rubbed his hands over his arms, just thinking of his ex giving him goosebumps. But Ash was gone now. Far away, locked up for what he had done. To the people he had stolen from. The city he had left locked into fear. To him and Ciel.

Somehow, that thought didn't comfort him any.

"Don't forget your homework." Sebastian received an indignant sigh and a glare for the reminder. Ciel was never happy to return to school on a crisp autumn Monday; apparently, he much preferred being at the shop or wandering the streets with a good book.

"Did you grab your lunch bag?" Another sigh, more socked feet stomping over the wooden floors. "You'll want shoes on, too."

This time, Ciel let out a loud, irritated huff and dropped his bag, storming down the hallway to his room. He came back a few minutes later, a pair of green suede boots on. At least they matched his black jeans and green button up. He watched as the boy continued huffing about the living room, collecting pushed aside textbooks and pieces of paper with his delicate handwriting cramped into the margins. With the last book shoved into his overly expensive schoolbag, he was finally ready.

Sebastian scooped his car keys out from the cat-shaped bowl on the counter, jingling them to get Ciel's attention. After throwing on their jackets, they hurried down the stairs of their apartment complex; they didn't bother to see if the constantly broken elevator was working this morning. Stepping out into the parking garage, Sebastian patted his pockets to check for his wallet, and then followed the impatient fifteen year old to his black sedan.

The drive to Ciel's school was mostly quiet, just the classical music from the radio filling the interior of the car. He knew why Ciel was acting out, but Sebastian couldn't think of why not seeing Agni after that first day was so upsetting to him. True, he had had plenty of chances to go see the other man, but had taken none of them. But he also had a job to do. He couldn't just flounce out and go flirt whenever he felt like it. He was supposed to be a good role model, set the example for the youth in his life.

However, looking at the grumpy boy sitting beside him, Sebastian wondered if that excuse would work. It probably wouldn't. Ciel was far too stubborn.

"Hey, Sebastian?" Oh no, he was using that soft sad-kid voice he used when he wanted something.

"Yes, Ciel? What's wrong?"

"I just wanted to ask if you were ok."

Oh. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, and Sebastian forced his eyes to stay on the road. Was he ok? He had been thinking about the past a lot, lately. Thoughts of Ciel's parents, of Ash, of his own failures and mistakes. How terrified he was that he didn't deserve to be a part of sunny, happy Agni's lit up life.

"Sebastian?" God, Ciel actually sounded worried, a tiny hand reaching to rest on his forearm.

"I'm...going to be ok. There's still a lot to work through, little one."

"I know, I know, but it doesn't mean I can't worry."

"I'm aware, Ciel. Now, are you ok?"

Ciel huffed, turning his head to look out the window.

"I'm fine. I guess. I mean, I'm tired and...I keep thinking about, um..."

"About your parents?"

"Actually, yeah. And the fact that you keep denying that anyone could ever like you enough to not be put off by how fucking weird you are."

"Language!" Sebastian snapped, turning into the school's parking lot. He could see Alois and Elizabeth already waiting for Ciel, the two blondes watching the car like the two vultures they were. "Look, I'm just not ready to jump into a relationship. Especially not with someone I barely know."

"I'm not saying you should do that, but Sebastian, please." Ciel gathered his bag into his arms, a hand on the latch of the car door. He looked up at him, his remaining blue eye neither glaring nor sad. "Healthy human interaction. Even someone like you needs it, and I just want you to get better, you deserve it. I gotta go, I'll see you after school."

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving Sebastian to sit and stew over what had just been said to him. Ciel was far too smart for his own good. A car horn blared, startling him from his thoughts, and he pulled forward, casting one last glance towards the youth and his friends. Maybe if he went back to Agni, he could get Ciel to talk to him about what was going on in that brilliant mind of his.

He just had to talk to Agni, right? He could do that.

As soon as he opened up the shop, that is.

With Finny minding the register and dealing with people up front, Sebastian was left to lurk in the back, where the air was warm and there was dirt smeared into the chipped cement. Perfect for growing his beloved plants. It also worked for avoiding doing the things he had sworn he would. Like walking over to the bakery. Talking to Agni. Giving himself the chance to grow, to be cared for, to be loved.

He sighed, leaning back and away from the shelves of plants. Succulents. He had only just started to grow this batch, and the plants had tiny, velvety leaves and thick stalks. Ciel had a few of these in his windowsill; the fact that they were still alive was surprising. Sebastian stroked on long, soft stalk, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought.

What would come of him and Agni continuing to speak? To have those easy, calm conversations? Would they eventually transition from conversing in their respective work spaces, or would they go elsewhere? God forbid they started going out. He couldn't imagine what Ciel's reaction to that would be.

Actually, he could. It was not pretty.

Straightening up, Sebastian stretched his arms above his head, closing his eyes and basking, for just a moment, in the warm lights of his kind-of-not-really-greenhouse. Letting his arms fall to his sides, hooking his thumbs into the apron strings tied around his waist, he took a moment to peruse over his collection of plants. The cacti settled into the corner, the tall fig trees crowding the right walkway, the tiny sprouts of bamboo clustered around the succulents. On the other side, there were Venus Flytraps and violets and tulips, a soft myriad of colors and vibrant hues.

"I might have been wrong. This does suit you." The deep voice, spoken by someone standing very, very close to him and practically breathing on his neck, was jarring to hear. Sebastian didn't dare move, now all too aware of the dirt marking up his shirt and pants. The heat of the warm room had a thin sheen of sweat on his skin, his bare arms nicked with leaves and scars and the white t-shirt sticking to his slender body. He probably looked like a mess. He was a mess.

And Agni was standing behind him, he probably looked like some sort of handsome god who carried the scent of sugar and cinnamon.

"You grew all of these?" Agni stepped around him, in simple jeans and a long sleeved grey shirt. His pale hair was pulled up and tucked beneath a soft, grey knit cap, just a single neat braid hanging at the side of his face. Sebastian swept a hand through his own messy hair, the only thing about his appearance he could really change.

"Technically, time grew all of these." He scrubbed at his bare arms and tried - in vain - to brush off the dirt on his clothes. "But I watered them, trimmed them, all the actions most mistake for forcing something to grow."

Agni laughed, and Sebastian felt his face grow hot. Jesus fucking Christ. This man would be his undoing.

"You supported these plants, then. You cared for their needs and gave them the space to blossom and thrive. Honestly, when we had spoken at my work, I couldn't see you with your hands dirty, kneeling among a bunch of pots and plants." Sebastian frowned, swallowing thickly and watching as the other man bent to examine the little neat rows of succulents, touching their velvet stalks with the utmost care. Agni shot a look over his shoulder, a warm smile gracing his handsome features. "But seeing you just then, just looking over these little guys with your hands on your hips and that look on your face..."

Agni straightened up, continuing to wander through the rows of pots and trowels and bags of dirt.

"What kind of look was on my face?" He genuinely wanted to know, and despite the fears still squeezing his heart, followed Agni down past the green shoot his hands had cultivated so carefully.

"It was peaceful. You were at peace, you were calm, but you were also thinking. Your hands hard at work, helping such tiny and fragile things to grow, but your mind was busy, too. A little like...the surface was calm, and being in this room is something you love, but also..."

They both paused, Sebastian freezing at the apprehension in Agni's voice. He said nothing, nervously waiting for this intriguing man to continue his train of thought. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of waiting in the warm, fragrant room, Agni spoke up again, this time facing the huddled pots of cacti in the corner.

"You looked like you were at war with yourself."

He swore he felt his stomach fall and his chest tighten up with an emotion that was hard to place.

"Ah. I see. Thank you for...clarifying that." What else was he supposed to say? There was a ding up front, Finny's cheerful voice greeting another person. Sebastian worried at his bottom lip, crossing his arms over his chest. His thoughts were his own; if Agni attempted to pry, he would be blocked off and told to shove it.

"I apologize, I shouldn't have even come back here. I told young Finnian that I knew you and he just waved me back here." Of course he did. Finny was just as nosy as Ciel was.

"No, it's alright. I don't mind it, really."

"Oh, thank goodness." Agni put a hand over his heart, flashing Sebastian a nearly blinding smile. "I'm glad for that, at least. Did I, um, startle you before?"

"...I won't lie, you took me by surprise." In more ways than one. "What did you need, by the way? You didn't come here just to praise me for my work, did you?"

"That is correct. I wanted to see how you felt about, uh, taking a walk with me?"

"Pardon?"

"At the Courtyard? In the Angel Gardens?" Agni continued, talking about how Soma had suggested the place, but Sebastian was frozen. The Angel Gardens. It was the only place in this entire goddamn city that Ash had tainted to the point where just the name of the place would send ice down his veins. And Agni wanted to take him there.

"No. Fucking no. Not that place, ever." Sebastian hissed, his harsh tone obviously startling - even hurting - the gentle giant in front of him. He didn't care. Or maybe he just cared why too much. All he could think was that day Ash had taken him there, just after he had hit him the first time. It had been spring, and Ash had been promising not to hurt him ever again, and the sharp, distinctive pain in his side and face had blotted out all rational thought.

He had just agreed to whatever Ash was saying so he wouldn't be hurt again. Of course, that had failed miserably, but at the time it was all he could do to protect himself and Ciel.

"Sebastian? Are you alright?" Agni at least had the smarts to not reach for him, but that look on his face, one of understanding, of worry. God, he hated that look.

"I'm fine. Those gardens have bad memories and I will not go there. Ever."

"Alright. I won't ask why, or what happened, but if you need anything, I'm close by." There was silence for a long moment, the only sound coming from the front of the store. Even that was muffled. Sebastian saw Agni step closer, a gentle, careful hand settling on his clenched hand. He let it happen, red eyes watching the other man with all the caution of a trapped cat.

"Instead of the gardens, then lets just walk the streets. I'm still not confident in where to go, and this place is a bit of a labyrinth to a newcomer like me..." It was another chance, another option. An offer. One that Sebastian knew he would be stupid to refuse.

And it wasn't like he had anywhere to be unless it was at the shop or picking Ciel up from school. But not right now. Neither of them were in the mood for awkward walks when Sebastian had so much on his mind. He said that much, offering instead to meet Agni tomorrow. They agreed on a place to meet, a time and then Agni bought a particularly rosy colored succulent before he left.

Sebastian was left to stand in his shop's back room, wringing his hands and worrying.

Ash stood above him, yelling and ranting about one thing or another. Sebastian could only choke out apologies, placating phrases and lay as still as possible. The more he moved, the more Ash would kick or stomp on him. Red eyes fell on Ciel, the boy shocked and unmoving from where he had been doing homework until his guardian's boyfriend got home.

He should have seen this coming. Both of them should have. Ash was a violent, temperamental person who only paraded about as a saint for the sake of society and the public.

Another kick, this time aimed at the back of his head. His vision was fuzzy. He tasted something coppery in the back of his throat, and as he watched Ash storm towards a now terrified, screaming Ciel, he started slipping into a weird darkness. He saw a raised hand, something sharp in the grip -

Sebastian bolted upright, hands scrambling to throw the comforter off of him, a scream dying in his throat. Distantly, he noticed his cat, his little Satan, meowing at him as she shook her bristling fur. She must have been sleeping on his feet again. He reached to pet her, the tiny ragdoll immediately accepting the affection with a happy little purr. She didn't seem to mind that his hands shook; trying to distract himself he scooped her up, kissing the top of her tiny head.

The cat, as per usual for greedy little kitties, ate up the attention before she sank tiny claws into his hands so he would let her go. Sebastian set her down on the ground, though he didn't watch her saunter off. Usually he'd make sure the beast was gone before he even thought about getting out of bed, but today he had an early street walk scheduled. With Agni.

But that nightmare-slash-memory of Ash hurting him and Ciel…it stuck out in his mind, rolling around with his other thoughts and weighing down on any feelings of excitement he felt to spend time with Agni. Years after he left the man, and Ash was still controlling his life.

Sebastian stood up, trying not to stomp as he snatched up a towel and went into his bathroom. He was going to enjoy this day out. Agni was nothing like Ash, he was warm and kind and gentle and could read people like an open book. Well, except himself. Hadn't Agni said he was an enigma? He was a mystery according to Agni, a dazzling and intoxicating puzzle meant to never be figured out.

As he waited for the shower to heat up, his thoughts shifted from his anxieties about Ash to further impressing Agni. He still had those high heeled boots. The ones Ash would sneer about and use to justify calling Sebastian a whore and a bitch and other nasty words. He used to love those. Of course, they were just walking around, but he had plenty of more comfortable options that gave him a similar vibe.

It was about time he rescued a few things from the dark where Ash had forced them.

His leather clothing, for example. He had missed those pants, after all.