"Tobi! Breathe! It's just banana pudding! Remember how we talked about getting over excited about pudding?" Zetsu scolded him. Tobi sighed.
"I'm very sorry Zetsu…it's just that I love banana pudding…with the bananas and the graham and whipped topping." Tobi said regretfully.
"Well, now you're covered in pudding and I'm going to have to go get you a wet paper towel." Zetsu said getting up from the table.
"The games this year are the three person relay race, the dance off, the karaoke contest, the popsicle eating contest, the water balloon toss, the wet t-shirt contest, the crossword puzzle challenge and finally the obstacle course which not any detail is given about that except that you need four participants." Kisame explained.
"Okay, let's get one thing straight! I am NOT doing the wet t-shirt contest again!" Itachi said shoving a finger at Kisame and standing at the table.
"Itachi…you won that last year…why do you not want to do it?" Kisame asked.
"Oh…I did win that didn't I? You know why I won it? Because I'm hot."
"Lola...Lola will do the wet t-shirt contest." Hidan proclaimed.
"No! We need Lola for the water balloon toss. She played powder puff football in college!" Sasori interjected.
"Oh yeah, god I will work those bitches over with that." Lola said.
"Okay, so Lola is going to do the water balloon toss. Sasori can you catch the balloons?" Kisame asked.
"Hell no. I'm no athletic and I got disqualified for using chakra strings one year…those damn judges! But hey, Konan can catch." Sasori confessed. Pein agreed with him.
"Yes! Put Konan and Lola in for the water balloon toss. They will win that." Pein said.
"Hell yeah we will!" Konan said slapping Lola a high five.
"Okay, Lola and Konan will do the water balloon toss. The relay….last year we came in fourth place because Diedara had to stop and fix his hair…Deidara you will not do the relay this year." Kisame said.
"Tobi can do the relay!" Tobi said happily in third person.
"No Tobi will NOT do the relay!" Zetsu warned him.
"Kakuzu, me and Zetsu will do the relay." Kisame said jotting that down.
"Wait, wait…Kisame…my plant head is very top heavy why don't you put Pein in?" Zetsu said.
"Pein is that okay?" Kisame asked.
"You bet." Pein agreed.
"Crossword challenge….Sasori that's all you." Kisame wrote that down too. You're allowed three helpers who do you want?" Kisame asked.
"Zetsu." Sasori answered.
Meanwhile somewhere in the Sound Country the planning wasn't going nearly as well…
"No! No! No! No! I will not do the dance off with Kimimaro!" Tayuya yelled.
"But Tay…" Kabuto started.
"Don't you but Tayuya me! He wants me so bad he can't stand it! He'll make up all these ridiculous provocative dance moves!" Tayuya shouted.
"I do not want you that way Tayuya!" Kimimaro yelled at her.
"Fine! Fine! Just shut the hell up both of you! Me and Sasuke will do the dance off!" Orochimaru settled it.
"I don't think that's a good…." Kabuto cut him off.
"Oh my god! After all the training you and I have done on that Dance Dance Revolution game? How could you do this to me Orochimaru?" Kabuto whined.
"Kabuto it's nothing personal. You're a great dancer it's just that…." Kabuto cut Orochimaru off.
"Oh just say it! You think Sasuke is hotter than me!" Kabuto started to cry.
"There, there Kabuto. You know I'd let you have your way with me…I'd even let you video tape it and put it on the internet." Tayuya said holding on to him.
"Thanks Tayuya." Kabuto sniffed.
"See, he always gets SO emotional. My god! It's like walking on egg shells with him." Orochimaru said to Sasuke. Sasuke agreed. "Okay, okay now moving on. Jiroubou you are going to do the popsicle eating contest. Last year was a disgrace when Kidoumaru threw up!" Orochimaru shot daggers at him.
"I'm still really sorry about that…it's just that I had too much to drink the night before and…"
"I don't want to hear your sorry ass excuses Kidoumaru…you sucked…period." Orochimaru said irritated at him.
"I'll do the karaoke contest." Kimimaru volunteered.
"Oh no you will not! I am going to own karaoke this year! I have practiced with my 'pop hits through the decades' CD's for 6 months! Don't you even take that away from me!" Kabuto yelled at him.
"O….k…..Kabuto….I'm very sorry. I'll do the crossword challenge." Kimimaru said mouthing 'wow' to Sakon.
"Alright, I really want to do the obstacle course this year. I swear to god I won't trip in the mud pit again." Sakon said.
"Very well Sakon. I do value your athletic skills." Orochimaru told him.
"You know, I was rejected from professional baseball JUST because I have two heads! The excuse was 'we don't have two hats'. Man…I could be on ESPN right now!" Sakon said. Meanwhile back at the other planning table…
"Deidara…you and Marisol will do the dance off. I think that's an obvious choice. Um….Tobi….how about the karaoke contest?" This was going to be tough since Tobi wasn't good at…well…hardly anything.
"Yay!" Tobi was thrilled and he threw his arms around Deidara.
"Why are you hugging me, yeah?" Deidara asked him completely not thrilled.
"I'm just so happy that I'm useful Sempai." Tobi said. Deidara pushed him away.
"Now…the popsicle eating contest. Last year this was our weak event. We need serious improvement this year." Kisame said. Deidara had his eyes on Dana. Then Itachi's eyes moved to Dana.
"Why are you two staring at Dana like that?" Pein asked.
"Because…I grew up with Dana…you have no idea what she's capable of, yeah." Deidara said seriously.
"Dana…honey?" Itachi got her attention because she had no clue what was going on.
"Oh hey! What? What's going on, yeah?" Dana asked.
"Will you do the popsicle eating contest?" Itachi asked her.
"Hmmmm….are they sugar free low calorie popsicles, yeah?" Dana asked.
"Yes, sweetie they are." Itachi reassured her.
"Okay!" Dana said excitedly. "Oh wait…these popsicles…they aren't longer than like six inches are they because I can't swallow more than that, yeah. Well, I mean I can but it gets challenging especially since the popsicles are like totally cold and Itachi…." Itachi cut her off.
"Dana, Dana you are just so precious." Itachi kissed her forehead again.
"Okay…wow…that's a lot of information. Now, the obstacle course. We need our finest athletes so that would be Hidan, Pein, Lola and Konan." Kisame said.
"It all sounds great." Zetsu said. "Sasori, I will work on my randomized knowledge for the crossword challenge."
"Hey we have a problem, we need two cars this year. Remember how last year we crammed the van so full that Deidara ended up laying on everyone's lap in the back seat?" Pein said.
"Oh yeah, it was really full." Zetsu said.
"No problem, we can drive the Acura MDX and the van. But there are rules. No one will spill anything in my car!" Lola warned.
"Don't worry Lola, no spills. Alright so not only do we have our van but we also have Lola and Sasori's Acura. Now. We need two people in charge of setting up the tent." Kisame said.
"Oh let us do it, yeah! We are so good at that!" Deidara said volunteering himself and Itachi.
"Yeah, okay that's fine. The tent's in the basement. Now, we need to discuss the most important aspect of all…the recipe. We must find someone who has an amazingly bitchin' grill recipe." Kisame said.
"Oh my god! My mom, yeah!" Deidara said suddenly.
"What about your mom?" Pein asked.
"I just remembered I need to mail her a check for 27 dollars, yeah." Deidara said getting up from the table and running off to find his checkbook.
"Wait…I don't know why I didn't think of this before…the Uchiha family recipe for…grilled salmon with a lemon butter sauce…oh my god that recipe has been in my family for generations. It's super secret…few know it and the ones that do…are dead….except me and my dumbass brother. But I know he won't suggest it to Orochimaru. My dad used to fix it and he and I would always fight! He always wanted the lemon butter to go on first and I always wanted it on last! God I so hate my dad!" Itachi said.
"Just how secret I this recipe?" Kakuzu asked.
"You know the Mangekyou Sharingan?" Itachi asked him.
"Yeah?" Kakuzu said.
"It's that super secret…" Itachi paused. "Which is why I keep it in the super secret place in our unorganized recipe cabinet…behind the giant binder of recipes taped to the back of a Rice Krispie Treat recipe…I will get it." Itachi said rising from the table and heading to his ultra secret hiding place of the oh so treasured family recipe.