Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura, nor the song entitled On My Own. It was in the international theatrical play "Ms. Saigon," played by Filipino pride, Ms. Lea Salonga. And since I'm writing fiction, let's just all pretend that Sakura composed that song, shall we? I don't know if you can download it, but if you can, please do so to appreciate the suitability of the song to this story. ;)

Full Summary: Please refer to Chapter 1.

Thank you, my dear reviewers!!! XD Me lurve you! And extra thanks for Kzel08 for proof-reading my story… I was so darn lazy to do it myself… Wahahahahh…

Stellar Nostalgia
Chapter 2: Discovery

She closed the door with all the strength she had, angry at herself. She leaned on the door, slowly sliding down, feeling the coldness of the marble floor. That's where she belonged, she figured. She belonged in the dark; full of coldness and bitterness.

She closed her eyes, asking why she even let that stranger know her name. Why did she let another person enter her world? Her world of resentment and disarray? She shook her head. No, she was just over-reacting. The guy just asked for her name. That was it. She won't let anything more happen.

Li Syaoran.

The name and voice of the handsome man echoed inside her head. She flipped her eyes open, shock played along the glints of her emerald orbs. It's been so long since a person introduced himself to her. In fact, it's been ages. She can't even remember the time when she was introduced to someone new.

She made her way upstairs towards the balcony, to again face the beautiful dark heavens. She always wanted to look at the moonlit sky. In a way, the dark heavens have always calmed her, and as she looked up to the lovely moon, she softly sang,

And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say hello to.
But now the night is near
And I can make-believe he's here.

She didn't know where she heard that song before, whether it was played in the radio, or if it was sang to her, but all she knew was that she knew the song by heart. But what she didn't know was that she's never heard this song before, but she just composed it herself. The words and tone just formed inside her mind and heart, without her even knowing.

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

She closed her eyes, embracing the soft wind that enclosed her, as if inviting her to carry on with her melodic singing. Her voice was like that of the angels; another gift she inherited from her mother.

On my own, pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him 'til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way,
I close my eyes and he has found me

As she was singing her heart out, she did not mind the rest of the world around her. She had a world of her own, and that world right now was all she cared about. She wasn't aware that there was a man that was listening to this heartfelt song. A man on the street, walking his path home. The man that she helped a while ago. The man that asked for her name. The man that she collided worlds with.

In the rain, the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

Her inviting song made the amber-eyed guy walk towards her house once again, and still, she didn't feel his presence. Of course, he didn't want to be seen either, as he didn't want to startle her and stop this melodic and exquisite singing. He hid himself, hoping to be as discreet as possible.

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us

As she was singing, the breeze swathed along her long chestnut hair, playing along with the wind. Her beauty only mesmerized him more, making him drawn to her own world as well.

I love him, but when the night is over,
He is gone. The river's just a river.
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare, and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

He doesn't know why this girl in front of him was singing such a sad song, as he figured that it didn't fit at all her stunning and beautiful face. He wanted to know what caused her sadness, her aggravation. Curious as a cat, he was determined. He'd definitely figure it out, one way or another.

I love him, but every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

I love him, I love him, I love him...
But only on... my... own...

Her cheeks suddenly felt warm, as traces of tears shed down her porcelain and pale face. She brought her hands towards the trace of her tears, as if crying was something new to her. She didn't know why she was crying, but as she searched for answers, her cries even aggravated more.

Syaoran was taken aback as the beautiful girl in front of him started to cry. Crying was something that Syaoran couldn't stand. He wanted to console her, to tell everything was going to be okay. But of course, he couldn't do that. He can't just barge inside the house of this fragile girl and console her. He didn't even know the girl. He merely knew her name. So instead, he just stood there, and waited there until the girl calmed down; hoping that a presence of someone would soothe her, would help decrease her loneliness.

-------------------------

Ding dong.

A beautiful afternoon, it was. The sun was about to set, and Sakura just came home from weekly appointment at the hospital, when the sound of her doorbell stopped her from what she was doing. Then curiosity was brought on the eyes of Sakura. She may not be as expressive as she is, but her eyes could easily tell all her emotions. She looked at her reflection, and what she saw was a lonely and gloomy figure in front of her.

This poignant Sakura when she was young used to always be cheerful and smiling. But now, as fate and life tested her, happiness and joy was simply not on her vocabulary anymore. Smiling and laughing is now completely alien to her. This was what she turned into.

Her mom's past modeling career and her dad being an archeologist left her with a fortune she could live for. She used to be a cheerful and loving kid; she used to always have an optimistic perspective in life. But as the world seemed to have been turning upside down in front of her, she started alienating herself from the world, building a huge wall in front of her. She even pushed away from her life the people that cared about her, for they didn't want them worrying, or worse, pitying her. And without admitting it to herself, she was also afraid - afraid that she'd be left behind once again when she starts to let people enter her life. She was also afraid that when she left this world, she'd be leaving those people behind too. And she didn't want to make that same mistake that her family did to her.

When one would glance at her, a petite girl wearing a white blouse and a pink knee-length skirt, they'd think she's ordinary. But sometimes, reality is not what it seems. If they'd look deep into her emerald eyes, the eyes that used to have happiness and optimism written over it, they'd see a girl that had faced hardships and trials that no typical girl her age can ever encounter. Not wanting to appear weak to anyone, she had managed to control her emotions. This fragile girl had been through rough times that made her strong, yet had also left her delicate.

She quickly opened the door, thinking it would be a mailman who'd be greeting her. But instead, she faced him. Him, the guy named Li Syaoran. It has been a week since he last saw him. But as shock as she was, her face still remained emotionless; as if her face have been cursed to remain that way – empty. Amber eyes crashed into emerald ones, eyes that remained lifeless and dull, contrasting its bright green color.

"Konnichiwa!" he greeted her, grinning at the same time. The guy in front of her brings out hope and joy. She hated it. She hated the fact that this guy presented a happy life – a life she never had.

Sakura raised her eyebrow and didn't utter a word. After all, actions speak louder than words.

"Oh! Uhm, I'm your new neighbor!" Syaoran said, hiding his uneasiness with the girl in front of him. Her cold demeanor just made him feel anxious and nervous, but nevertheless, he was determined. Determined to be the one to bring a smile on that beautiful face.

Sakura just blinked at him, still can't figure out why the guy was there. So what if he's her new neighbor?

"Uh…so?" she replied sarcastically, really not knowing what else to say. Syaoran smirked at the girl in front of him. Indeed, this girl was different. But even though she portrays to not care in the world, he knew from that song he spied on, that this girl in front of him was lonely.

"I was hoping to be friends with you." He smirked at her. Indeed, that was sincere. He looked at her, seeking for a reply. However, it didn't come. Her face remained emotionless, yet as he stared deep into her emerald eyes, hoping to read among them, he could swear he saw glints of grief and yearning.

Suddenly the girl stated, "It's rude to stare." He uttered a quick sorry, and she continued, "But if you want friends, I suggest you go to the park. There, you would see people who are actually willing to be your friend."

And with that, she slammed the door on Syaoran's face, leaving him startled. He smirked and shook his head thinking, 'This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought…'

Syaoran pressed the doorbell yet again, eager to talk to her more this time.

Ding dong.

Sakura opened the door, and with a slightly louder voice, she asked, "What?!"

"You didn't answer if you wanted to be friends with me or not." Syaoran replied as he pouted, trying his best with the puppy dog eyes, yet it didn't suit his mature features at all.

With that picture in front of her, Sakura can't help but snort.

"Is that a yes?" Syaoran asked as soon as he heard Sakura snort. It might not actually be a laugh or a smile, but at least, it wasn't a frown.

"No." Sakura answered immediately.

"Is that a no?"

"No." Sakura mentally slapped herself. 'Why did I say no?!'

"Are you gonna let me in?"

"No."

"Is 'no' the only answer you can ever say to me?"

"No."

"Okaaaay? I guess I better go now, huh?"

"Do what you want." She was about to close the door when she heard him say, "Shoot, I was hoping you'd say no."

She closed the door behind her, then without her even noticing, her lip twitched, and gradually turned into a smirk. As she looked at the blank TV screen, she saw her face painted with a tiny smile. She was shock at this, surely she haven't smirked for quite a time now. She looked at her back, as if the man was still there, then, her eyes softened. Somehow, she was thankful that someone was able to make her feel light again. But as she thought of it, her eyebrows furrowed. Why did she even talk to that guy? Wasn't it that being alone was all she ever wanted? To not have someone to leave when she's gone? To not repeat the mistakes that her family made when they left her in this cruel and vindictive world? Yet here she is, talking to this guy, and even though she hated to admit it, he made her snort – smirk even. But certainly, she missed those times. The times when she smiled and laughed her heart out. But that was when she was young – when she had a perfect life, when she had friends and families, when she had reasons to laugh and smile about.

Ding dong.

She rolled her eyes, and opened the door again, knowing that it would be that persistent guy named Li Syaoran. And indeed, it was him.

"I forgot to tell you that I brought you some flowers." He smirked yet again at her, showing her the gorgeous blue roses he brought for her.

At the site of those flowers, she thought she figured everything out. They were all like this. They start being nice to her, as soon as they knew about her disease.

"So, who told you?" Sakura asked him, showing bitterness in her eyes.

"Uh, told me what?" Syaoran replied, totally clueless at the question thrown to him.

"You found out, didn't you?" Syaoran was totally at a daze right now, he didn't know what she was talking about.

Hearing no reply, she continued, "It's called leukemia. And I suggest you go back to where you came from. I don't need your pity."

She hated that word: pity. She despised people who would look at her, feel sorry for her, then start being nice just because of her disease. Just because she was dying. She hated them. She didn't need pity. She didn't need sympathy. What she needed was companionship. Friendship. Love. But she herself didn't even know that. She chose the wrong path - isolation.

She was about to turn her back on him when he held her delicate wrist, and with that contact, she slightly winced. There were still fresh cuts on those fragile wrists, the cuts she made two days ago.

She pulled her arm, wanting to be let go, but he only held it more. "I'm sorry but, what are you talking about?" He asked, curiosity written among those amber eyes. He had a lot of questions written in his mind. He just wanted to be friends with her. And now, he finds out that this girl in front of him has leukemia?

He finally let go, and she held her wrist, caressing them. "Listen, I don't know what you're talking about." He started, "I just wanted to be your friend."

She looked at him, seeing that he was telling the truth, still she said, "You don't even know me." True enough, they didn't know each other. They were merely strangers, who by fate and destiny, crossed paths.

"But I'm trying to. Can't you see that?" She narrowed her eyes at him, then immediately closed the door.

This was what she was scared about. To have someone to be friends with. Or worse, to love. She just wanted to be alone, thinking that that's what she's actually good at.

Syaoran just stared at the beige door in front of him, not knowing what to do. This was not what he wanted, nor expected. No wonder she's so sad, he figured. He placed the blue roses on the doorstep, and with one last glance at the house, he walked his way home.

And with that, it became his daily routine. Every single day, he would place different kinds of flowers on her doorstep. He's been doing that for almost two weeks now, and he himself didn't even know why he was doing this. But he was sure enough, it wasn't because of pity.

What he didn't know is that Sakura kept those flowers. Taking care of them, that's what she did. He unknowingly found her weakness – flowers. Slowly, he was melting her cold and bitter heart… bit by bit...

Phew! Finally I updated this story! Now do your jobs and REVIEW! XD Questions? Confused? Tell me! I'd gladly reply and explain every tad bit! ;)

Chapter 3's title: Smile

-wink-wink-nudge-nudge-