I. Dawn
She had to take a walk. It was necessary – even not for to not fall asleep again (she doubted if she was able to) but simply to get rid of Adia's image from her mind. Of course – it always had it's disadvantages – if she walked out and wandered, she would be sleepy on the other day – something that mother would surely disapprove. But she couldn't stand more of her. Her, smiling in her sleep, constantly feeling warmth of Kisasian – being sure about own triumph and safety. Even while being awake, but reminding that smile, Shani wished Adia dead. She admitted she had a problem, but she was at least honest.
"Watch your back, sandy stray." Thought Sarabi's daughter, leaving the cave. "One night I won't repress myself. That would be a surprise, wouldn't it?"
She saw that night was even darker than usual. Dusty clouds covering the sky were some kind of easy at daylight, stopping much of scorching sun, but in the night they separated earth from any stars and moon. Only in few places the grey layer of cumuluses was pierced by star-lit holes. However those could provide too much light, so Shani failed to see Scar.
They collided on the path. King was returning to the cave, while lioness decided to go down. Blackmaned reacted instantly, catching her with his paw and leaning, while she regained her balance. That saved her from falling down the slope.
"Stars!" gasped monarch. "Sorry, are you all right?"
"Yes, forgive me, sir. I was…"
"My fault." Interrupted her king. "Those coming from higher ground have right…" He got closer to the wall and passed next to lioness. But then stopped and turned back. "But… if I may ask: where are you going?"
"Just…" started Shani.
She wanted to tell and in the same time didn't want. She was alone, all alone, unable to share her burden with mother. Sarabi would never understood what she felt and if she did, she would got even angrier on daughter. Former queen was the one who finally broke Shani's relationship and that was done not just like that, but because of reason. Learning that her child still kept some feeling towards tyrant's son, would make Sarabi simply furious.
"And I desperately need to talk with someone." Thought Shani. "I can't go any further like that. I will go mad and even one night I will actually kill Adia. And then… it will happen like in my nightmares. I'm always so proud that I finished that b--h off, but when Kisasian comes… Stars, that is terrible!"
"Shani?" asked Scar, coming closer to his niece. "Something is wrong, I see this."
"No, it's nothing…" replied lioness, but king put a paw on her shoulder and ordered.
"Come with me."
They climbed back on Priderock ledge, then king led lioness to single bush that survived on the rock. He made her sit down, then sat down next to her, on rock surface. A bit more light came from above the clouds, so Shani noticed monarch's face. He was tired, surely hadn't slept that night. "I guess he is returning from Cubs Sanctuary." thought lioness.
"So…" started Scar.
"I just have to walk." Replied Shani with weak voice. "I'm healthy."
"Healthy not always means all right." Said blackmaned. "What is eating you?"
Lioness shivered inside. She knew that Scar was a perceptive lion and in normal conditions he would already figured out what the problem was his son. But he didn't see it and that wasn't his fault. Simply – the hidden conflict and open hostility between Pridelanders and guests were so fierce that theory about that enemies romance seemed highly improbable. "Today, even if somehow Kisasian would return to me, it would be the hell for us, because of mom and others." Shani laughed in mind with bitter laughter.
"That is a bad season." Said Shani. "That heat is driving me crazy."
Perhaps that was pure coincidence, but maybe lioness used that word with subliminal message. It was no secret that Shani was almost mature, also in case of her gender issues. Although broken climate affected lions biology in quite negative way, nothing would totally extinguish nature's call. Scar narrowed his eyes.
"Yes, I know that is a hard time for us all, but…" He gave her a inquiring look and Shani shivered inside, scared that king was close to the truth.
"He is the one who could help me… he is Kisasian's father. But I can't tell him… because he is Kisasian's father." Thought lioness. However blackmaned seemed to read her problem in not exact way.
"You should talk with mother about your problems." He said.
"There is no problem." Said Shani with tone suggesting something completely opposite. "I just… feel not too well."
"Still I think you should talk with someone." Replied Scar. "If you have any problems with your mother, maybe… maybe Zira would help you."
"Stars, even worse!" yelled Shani in mind. "I need go away… now!"
"No, sir…" she said with painful answer.
"Sir?" asked king. "I'm still your uncle, ain't I? And Zira is your aunt. She could tell you much about… growing up."
Shani shook her head, but in the same time she sighed inside with relief. So, king… her uncle didn't know what was her problem. She stood up, but perhaps she made it too fast – she faltered and Scar rushed to support her.
"Whoa! Take it easy…" said king. "You should go to sleep… or to shaman."
"I will be fine." Replied Shani. "At least in the degree that's possible." She added silently. "I just must take a walk."
"You will be no use tomorrow on hunt." Said monarch and lioness narrowed her eyes. That was right. Well, not only mother would be mad about that.
"No, sir… no uncle. I will be all…"
"I'm not pressing you." Interrupted her Scar. "I even suggest you to take… sort of day off, all right?" She looked on him with curiosity and confusion.
"I'm not sick…"
"I want that someone smart judge that. Tomorrow you will ask Dhalimu to examine you…"
"Uncle, I don't need it." She shook her hear with almost crying voice. Scar stayed silent for a while, then said carefully.
"Still something must be done. If you don't want to tell it Dhalimu, go to that irritating monkey. Rafiki… he still lives near the river, in his baobab. He is driving me crazy, but in some cases he might be useful. Just… do me a favour, my dear. Will you?"
"What favour?"
"Take your walk… to the river." Explained Scar. "And then show yourself to Rafiki." Seeing that lioness wanted to oppose. "I insist. Take this day off and see the monkey."
"All right, if you want me to…" replied Shani, a bit surprised that Scar ordered her to see shaman. That was no secret that Rafiki hated blackmaned king and Scar repaid him with similar feelings. But still mandrill was an actual shaman there, while Dhalimu – old brother in law of former king Arista – just wiselion, who used to take care about Golden Ones' injuries.
"With whomever I met, that one couldn't help me." thought lioness. "Only cure for me would be Kisasian again loving me… Or…" she involuntary smiled, imagining the scene. "…or Adia, having a little accident. Talk about the alternative medicine!"
"All right." Said Scar, taking her smile as a final approve. "Don't hurry, the hunting team will manage. Just… will you go at your own? I mean if you feel really bad…"
"Don't worry, uncle." Replied Shani. "I'll go there without any problems. I hope to be back afternoon." She added and set off to the path down.
Scar was looking after her and thinking. In his condition thinking wasn't the best choice, because he barely managed to repress his sleep. Most of night he spent with Zira and cubs. Although he knew that constant wanders between Priderock and Cubs Sanctuary were killing him, he had limited choice. He could leave issues of kingdom alone, nor pass his power to any depute. To whom, by the way? Sarabi and every other Pridelander were out of question. Tojo… Tojo seemed to be so distant and absent last weeks that Scar thought it was a bit risky to burden him with additional problems. Of course he had support of Golden Pride and his family. Both Sparthi and Kisasian would play the role of regent easily, but there were reasons not to involve them. In case of Kisasian – very complicated – but Sparthi was also not fitting that quest perfectly. Actually Scar feared that he was the only person in the kingdom who was close to keep in order everyone, including Pridelanders, Goldenlanders and hyenas.
On the other paw, Zira needed him badly. Although dramatic events with Bovu slowly dissolved in time, but some consequences of then didn't. Queen gave birth to two cubs, not king's cubs. It didn't matter how long Scar assured Zira that he will raise Vitani and Kovu as own children – in goldenfurred stayed that fear of rejection – both of her and her cubs. King had to work hard to overcome that untrue impression.
"That's not her fault that Bovu hurt her. And that's also not Kovu's fault. Actually there are good reasons to make him my heir. He is good, lovely cub and will be good lion, because of mother's heritage. His father's genies have nothing to do with this. From now on, he is my son. I will raise him, as my successor!" Scar assured himself in decision he had made recently. "I hope that way Zira feels sure…" But then he looked on that's whole story and fate of his two biological sons, both unable to rule due to reasons they couldn't fully comprehend. "Kisasian is weak as my father… Nuka is weak as I am." Repeated in mind.
"Stars!" he thought just few moments later. "It gets worse and worse. I must had pissed someone off upthere." He instantly thought about father and Mufasa. But when he looked up, he saw just a thick layer of the clouds and decide that more of self-reproaches wouldn't fix the world. "But anyway… I'm barely holding it all. Hyenas are closer to an open revolt, Sarabi seems like she wished me dead, the Golden Ones can't peacefully live with our pride, not after all those nasty spectacles that Sarabi and Sarafina gave them… And now Shani… She is growing up and that's normal, she had her problems… but I just can't help her in any way. And that's not my duty! What Sarabi is thinking!?" In fact Sarabi was deep in the roots of her daughter's dilemmas and if Scar knew what she was thinking – especially about him – he wouldn't sleep at all that night.
But he knew too little. So he just entered the cave and fell down to the ground, even not caring to get any comfortable place. World floated away from him, giving the king at least few hours of freedom from his problems.
Meanwhile Shani was walking north, with first rays of sun blinding her from east. She didn't want to visit Rafiki, but after all – why not? At least for that time Adia was safe from her.
Dreams she had were pleasant. Delightful in some way, but being awake lioness knew all the consequences of Adia's death. It was much better to stay the way they were – as Kisasian seemed to paid no attention on Sarabi's daughter, at least she had him close. It hurt, but it was the only possible way to go on.